(no subject)
This has got to be the tiredest I've ever been. I'm stuck at work until 7 fucking 30pm and I think I'm gonna pass out on my feet.
Last night was a strange night. J broke a glass on my floor. Just fucking tossed the goddamn thing right on my kitchen floor. Of course it broke, and I wasn't wearing any shoes, and then he left. So there I was drunk, picking up fucking glass, and hoping that my feet didn't get all cut up. I cut my finger, but just barley. I don't know what we were arguing about, or if we were even arguing to begin with, but I can't see someone just tossing a glass on the ground for nothing. Clanton said that he does shit like that sometimes, but I've never seen him act like that before. I guess it's probably because I've only known him on a really personal level for 2 months or so, but damn... If that's how he acts then I don't think I want to delve very much further into the Justin realm. I vaguely remember him saying something about me using him for sex.. but I mean what the hell? When have you ever heard a man bitch about a girl wanting to get her fuck on?
I don't know what the fuck is going on with this shit. I mean what the fuck does he want from me? Does he need another person to fall at his every whim? I'm sorry, I'm not that girl. I like him. I think he's cool, but I'm not trying to be with him. It didn't start out that way, and it's not going to go there at all. If he's looking for someone to love, well then I don't know what to tell him. The only reason I even began this whole escapade was because I KNEW that it wouldn't go anywhere. He's got far too much baggage, mentally and literally for me to even begin to deal with.
Who the fuck knows.. I say I don't care, but I think I really do. I guess I do kinda l.. nope, I don't but I'd like to... I'm just too fucked up myself to feel anything for him.. I can't let myself, not with the whole situation as it stands. Under different circumstances I would be madly in love with him, I mean totally smitten, but being that there is all this other shit, I just can't allow myself to fall for him.
I guess I'm kinda confused.. But fuck it.. what can ya do?
Last night was a strange night. J broke a glass on my floor. Just fucking tossed the goddamn thing right on my kitchen floor. Of course it broke, and I wasn't wearing any shoes, and then he left. So there I was drunk, picking up fucking glass, and hoping that my feet didn't get all cut up. I cut my finger, but just barley. I don't know what we were arguing about, or if we were even arguing to begin with, but I can't see someone just tossing a glass on the ground for nothing. Clanton said that he does shit like that sometimes, but I've never seen him act like that before. I guess it's probably because I've only known him on a really personal level for 2 months or so, but damn... If that's how he acts then I don't think I want to delve very much further into the Justin realm. I vaguely remember him saying something about me using him for sex.. but I mean what the hell? When have you ever heard a man bitch about a girl wanting to get her fuck on?
I don't know what the fuck is going on with this shit. I mean what the fuck does he want from me? Does he need another person to fall at his every whim? I'm sorry, I'm not that girl. I like him. I think he's cool, but I'm not trying to be with him. It didn't start out that way, and it's not going to go there at all. If he's looking for someone to love, well then I don't know what to tell him. The only reason I even began this whole escapade was because I KNEW that it wouldn't go anywhere. He's got far too much baggage, mentally and literally for me to even begin to deal with.
Who the fuck knows.. I say I don't care, but I think I really do. I guess I do kinda l.. nope, I don't but I'd like to... I'm just too fucked up myself to feel anything for him.. I can't let myself, not with the whole situation as it stands. Under different circumstances I would be madly in love with him, I mean totally smitten, but being that there is all this other shit, I just can't allow myself to fall for him.
I guess I'm kinda confused.. But fuck it.. what can ya do?