SAD DEPRESSED !!!! HELP!!!!!!!!
i feel so bad i went to the beach like a few weeks ago and i liked someone there other than tj and it just makes me feel back cause i love tj so very much ......well this is the email he wrote me you tell me what u guys think .........
its like 530am and I cant sleep. all I keep thinking about is the whole justin thing. it is really buggin me bad. its probably making you upset that I am bringing this up again but I need to get it out of my head. I keep thinking about the things you have been telling me. sometimes they just dont add up. and the fact that you dont know why you didnt tell justin about us sooner makes me feel like you were enjoying the fact that he thought you were single. i cant help but think that when you were with him my feelings never mattered to you. if you knew that you loved me and that it was going to hurt me when I found out why keep the lie going the whole time that you and justin were hanging out together. I know you said kristin started the lie but why did you go along with it. did it make you happy to be with someone other than me? you said he treated you better than I do so maybe you were in love with him and you knew it and you liked the feeling so you just didnt tell him that he was with a taken girl. you always told me that the reason you loved me was because i treat you better than you other boyfriends. so if he treats you better maybe you love him and not me anymore. also about the not cheating on me thing. I want to believe that nothing happened between you two but I just have this feeling that something did and im not just talking about sex or oral, but maybe you did other stuff. I cant make up my mind about if you are telling the truth or not. you always said that if you cheated on me you would tell me because you couldnt keep it a secret. but you also looked me in the eye and pinky swore to me that justin knew you had a boyfriend and that you thought he was hot and he liked you but that nothing ever came of it. but when I read the emails at your house and saw that you were telling him that you missed him so much and that you wish you could have had a better relationship it makes me wonder what kind of relationship you had that you wanted to be better. if you did anything with him I want to know about it. I cant promise I wont get angry but I dont think I could really break up with you even if you had sex with him. I love you so much that it wouldnt matter to me. well it would matter but I probably would forgive you after a while. I never had feelings this strong for anyone that I have been with. usually if I get a hint that someone is cheating on me then I break it off. but I want us to work so bad that I dont think I could end it. well I will talk to you tomorrow or today actually. oh and do me a favor for my peace of mind and dont talk to justin until I am with you so that I can be there to see how it goes when he finds out about us.
I love you so much, you will never even have a clue about half of it.
TJ
its like 530am and I cant sleep. all I keep thinking about is the whole justin thing. it is really buggin me bad. its probably making you upset that I am bringing this up again but I need to get it out of my head. I keep thinking about the things you have been telling me. sometimes they just dont add up. and the fact that you dont know why you didnt tell justin about us sooner makes me feel like you were enjoying the fact that he thought you were single. i cant help but think that when you were with him my feelings never mattered to you. if you knew that you loved me and that it was going to hurt me when I found out why keep the lie going the whole time that you and justin were hanging out together. I know you said kristin started the lie but why did you go along with it. did it make you happy to be with someone other than me? you said he treated you better than I do so maybe you were in love with him and you knew it and you liked the feeling so you just didnt tell him that he was with a taken girl. you always told me that the reason you loved me was because i treat you better than you other boyfriends. so if he treats you better maybe you love him and not me anymore. also about the not cheating on me thing. I want to believe that nothing happened between you two but I just have this feeling that something did and im not just talking about sex or oral, but maybe you did other stuff. I cant make up my mind about if you are telling the truth or not. you always said that if you cheated on me you would tell me because you couldnt keep it a secret. but you also looked me in the eye and pinky swore to me that justin knew you had a boyfriend and that you thought he was hot and he liked you but that nothing ever came of it. but when I read the emails at your house and saw that you were telling him that you missed him so much and that you wish you could have had a better relationship it makes me wonder what kind of relationship you had that you wanted to be better. if you did anything with him I want to know about it. I cant promise I wont get angry but I dont think I could really break up with you even if you had sex with him. I love you so much that it wouldnt matter to me. well it would matter but I probably would forgive you after a while. I never had feelings this strong for anyone that I have been with. usually if I get a hint that someone is cheating on me then I break it off. but I want us to work so bad that I dont think I could end it. well I will talk to you tomorrow or today actually. oh and do me a favor for my peace of mind and dont talk to justin until I am with you so that I can be there to see how it goes when he finds out about us.
I love you so much, you will never even have a clue about half of it.
TJ