On tipping, and making the world go round.
So I went home for the weekend.
And hi, I'm back (I've wanted to post about three times in here since that other post, which I'm taking is a good thing).
It was great. I mean, the travelling (both ways) suuucked but I made it and it was totally worth it. I have been reminded about being careful what you wish for though. By the time I'd got my train in and then a taxi to the house, it was 1.15am and the house was wonderfully, peacefully, strangely quiet. My parents had gone out to meet some old friends and still weren't back. It got a bit awkward when I was in before them.
On the way back, I secretly wanted to have plenty of time to drive and to get through the music playlists we'd put together, and dreaded driving through the busy-ness of central London. We set off at 6pm and there was a crash on the A1 which meant we didn't get into London until about 1am.
That said though (=thinky post alert=), I have wished for some things and they happened more better than I can have imagined.
Cats remembered me.
Home bed was more comfortable than ever before and I had the best sleep I've had in a while (well overdue).
OK so Mum got offended because I gave her a gift but I did it in the wrong way but mostly we avoided argument. Even when I was driving back from the christening and Dad decided to launch into me about how I'd stolen the family photos and they were theirs and they wanted them back I managed to calmly explain the situation and.... divert the fight. while I was **driving**. Super impressed with myself, ngl.
Early last year, or maybe the year before, a house mate told me something that changed my fundamental beliefs. She said that if she goes out and receives bad service, she tips more than she normally would. I remember thinking at first that it was a mad idea - why would you reward someone who hadn't done their job properly? - but then we talked through it. That if they weren't doing very well, it was probably because they were having a bad day, and why make someone's job harder? The very fact that they were trying when their day was so hard made it worth tipping that much more. And the beauty of this, is that you can turn someone's bad day into someone's "well, that turned out OK actually" day. You can make someone's blind cussing into a smile, by recognising... well, them.
I think I'm rambling, but what I'm trying to say, is that I couldn't see a bad side. A little bit of happiness goes a long way. Maybe you help break a cycle and that person does a better job next time, or remembers to keep up standards for the rest of the shift, or manages to keep a job for one day more.
It got me thinking about people's motivations, and in particular how hard it is to be polite and pleasant and open and fair... when you're in a bad mood.You might be in a bad mood because of you, or because of other people, or because of inevitable bodily functions. Any number of reasons. Whatever the case, if that person runs over your toe with their pram when you're already at the end of your tether because people have been rude to you all day, you're hardly going to grin and bear it, are you? If people are cruel, or unkind, or mean in anyway, you probably should be nicer to them than you would normally.
I've been practising this philosophy for a while, and it works. It's not always easy - who doesn't have bad days? - but I haven't found anything to disprove it yet. And in excusing people's behaviour, or at least considering it in context, I'm understanding a lot more about people and humans in general, not to mention myself. It's pretty great, actually.
To paraphrase a favourite TV programme, why not give it a try?: making excuses for other people.
This post is brought to you by the letters H, U, and H and doesn't know what it wants to be when it grows up.
And hi, I'm back (I've wanted to post about three times in here since that other post, which I'm taking is a good thing).
It was great. I mean, the travelling (both ways) suuucked but I made it and it was totally worth it. I have been reminded about being careful what you wish for though. By the time I'd got my train in and then a taxi to the house, it was 1.15am and the house was wonderfully, peacefully, strangely quiet. My parents had gone out to meet some old friends and still weren't back. It got a bit awkward when I was in before them.
On the way back, I secretly wanted to have plenty of time to drive and to get through the music playlists we'd put together, and dreaded driving through the busy-ness of central London. We set off at 6pm and there was a crash on the A1 which meant we didn't get into London until about 1am.
That said though (=thinky post alert=), I have wished for some things and they happened more better than I can have imagined.
Cats remembered me.
Home bed was more comfortable than ever before and I had the best sleep I've had in a while (well overdue).
OK so Mum got offended because I gave her a gift but I did it in the wrong way but mostly we avoided argument. Even when I was driving back from the christening and Dad decided to launch into me about how I'd stolen the family photos and they were theirs and they wanted them back I managed to calmly explain the situation and.... divert the fight. while I was **driving**. Super impressed with myself, ngl.
Early last year, or maybe the year before, a house mate told me something that changed my fundamental beliefs. She said that if she goes out and receives bad service, she tips more than she normally would. I remember thinking at first that it was a mad idea - why would you reward someone who hadn't done their job properly? - but then we talked through it. That if they weren't doing very well, it was probably because they were having a bad day, and why make someone's job harder? The very fact that they were trying when their day was so hard made it worth tipping that much more. And the beauty of this, is that you can turn someone's bad day into someone's "well, that turned out OK actually" day. You can make someone's blind cussing into a smile, by recognising... well, them.
I think I'm rambling, but what I'm trying to say, is that I couldn't see a bad side. A little bit of happiness goes a long way. Maybe you help break a cycle and that person does a better job next time, or remembers to keep up standards for the rest of the shift, or manages to keep a job for one day more.
It got me thinking about people's motivations, and in particular how hard it is to be polite and pleasant and open and fair... when you're in a bad mood.You might be in a bad mood because of you, or because of other people, or because of inevitable bodily functions. Any number of reasons. Whatever the case, if that person runs over your toe with their pram when you're already at the end of your tether because people have been rude to you all day, you're hardly going to grin and bear it, are you? If people are cruel, or unkind, or mean in anyway, you probably should be nicer to them than you would normally.
I've been practising this philosophy for a while, and it works. It's not always easy - who doesn't have bad days? - but I haven't found anything to disprove it yet. And in excusing people's behaviour, or at least considering it in context, I'm understanding a lot more about people and humans in general, not to mention myself. It's pretty great, actually.
To paraphrase a favourite TV programme, why not give it a try?: making excuses for other people.
This post is brought to you by the letters H, U, and H and doesn't know what it wants to be when it grows up.