How do you stop finding things, especially people, annoying?
I'm sitting in the South Bank Centre, wondering why I'm unhappy. I used to be happy, I think. I used to be happy with dips of low and now I'm low with dips of happy.
I have a job, and one that I love. Some great people and whether it finishes in May or not I'll have learnt so much and had a fabulous time doing it.
I'm not living with my parents anymore and I'm taking control of my life, even though I still don't feel independent of them as much as I'd like. But I did something and I'm proud of what I've achieved, and earning respect and a name for myself, which is something I've always wanted to do.
I'd like to say I had some amazing friends, but I don't feel I do anymore. I've recently been unable to accept them for who they are and it means all I see are flaws. One of my friends constantly considers her boyfriend(s) over me; another has delusions of grandeur and can't stop trying to tell me his life is better than mine. I think I've forgotten how to tolerate people. Or, more than that, how to love them when I find things annoying. When things are annoying, I end up thinking that means we're incompatible, and then I stop making any effort, because, logically speaking, why bother?
Take out the "logically speaking" and that sounds horrible. In fact, leave it in and out sounds horrible. I don't want to be that person, and yet here I am, getting pickier and pickier about who I choose to spend my time with. It's funny: I'm getting more picky about friends and less picky about food. I thought I'd grow out of being picky about both, tbh.
At the same time, I'm still undeniably single. I can't help feeling the two are related.
I'd appreciate any ideas, by the way. I really would. Right now I just want to sit down and cry about it. I think I'm doing this "people thing" wrong. Maybe I'm not saying enough, maybe I'm saying too much, I have no idea.
I have a job, and one that I love. Some great people and whether it finishes in May or not I'll have learnt so much and had a fabulous time doing it.
I'm not living with my parents anymore and I'm taking control of my life, even though I still don't feel independent of them as much as I'd like. But I did something and I'm proud of what I've achieved, and earning respect and a name for myself, which is something I've always wanted to do.
I'd like to say I had some amazing friends, but I don't feel I do anymore. I've recently been unable to accept them for who they are and it means all I see are flaws. One of my friends constantly considers her boyfriend(s) over me; another has delusions of grandeur and can't stop trying to tell me his life is better than mine. I think I've forgotten how to tolerate people. Or, more than that, how to love them when I find things annoying. When things are annoying, I end up thinking that means we're incompatible, and then I stop making any effort, because, logically speaking, why bother?
Take out the "logically speaking" and that sounds horrible. In fact, leave it in and out sounds horrible. I don't want to be that person, and yet here I am, getting pickier and pickier about who I choose to spend my time with. It's funny: I'm getting more picky about friends and less picky about food. I thought I'd grow out of being picky about both, tbh.
At the same time, I'm still undeniably single. I can't help feeling the two are related.
I'd appreciate any ideas, by the way. I really would. Right now I just want to sit down and cry about it. I think I'm doing this "people thing" wrong. Maybe I'm not saying enough, maybe I'm saying too much, I have no idea.