Wow, where to start on this one? I'm enjoying these challenges even more than I ever imagined.
Only you could have a Rhinopillar plushie almost steal the whole story. Total genius to base Yunho's company around his special art skillz - I WANT a Rhinopillar plushie now (and an interactive Meerdeer or three plz muchly).
But I also love how Yunho treats Happy: sorry for drooling on him, not letting Changmin use him as a bulletin board with the post-its and especially turning him away so he can't be corrupted by the desk sex... he's the embodiment of Yunho himself - colourful, quirky, happy, innocent (for now) and totally squishable.
On the most basic level I utterly adore your version of Yunho here. I just want to wrap him up in ribbons and plug him in to the National Grid and have his creativity and enthusiasm power the whole world. I actually want to do that with the real Yunho too, but moreso with this Yunho.
My favourite part of his character is that he keeps thinking he's really secretive about his crush on Changmin but he's just a big obvious dork:
Unless he’s really obvious. Which could be the case. He often thinks he’s really subtle and then it turns out that he’s not at all.
That keeps tripping him up over and over again - when he's casually leaning over Changmin's desk to check his booty and when Donghae says Changmin has the whip hand - but it's important too because I think Changmin would have warred more with himself about making a move if he wasn't certain that his boss was attracted to him.
Changmin's too professional to get something that important wrong so I'm so grateful that Yunho didn't realise how obvious he was being.
Which leads me nicely to Changmin's character. Feck I LOVE this boy. I feel so much for him and how brave he is to keep pushing Yunho and the whole time having his job and his judgment and his heart on the line.
Writing this so deeply from Yunho's POV (very necessary to get such a great sense of the layers of headspace going on) means that Changmin's motivations and expectations are a huge mystery until the very end when he gets the chance to show he's vulnerable too: “I didn’t want you to be disappointed.” and that just confirmed everything I'd been feeling for him the whole story.
I know the reader should be drawn to Yunho and what he's experiencing, but you know I like to be contrary and my empathy was totally with it all working out for Changmin's sake. I'm such a strange fish
You also made Changmin human, despite both the Dom role and his day-to-day Strict Secretary demeanour (which is hot all on its own).
The bit with the casual-dress cravat cracked me up, but the bit where he couldn't help himself staring at Yunho's chest and when he was genuinely worried when he saw Yunho waiting in the lobby, and especially his too-turned-on-to-type grammar slip - Yes, yes, y.... these all made me love his character even more. You made it crystal clear that he genuinely wanted to put Yunho's emotional needs first and wasn't just doing all this for mutual hot and masterful sexyfuntimez.
Plus you also added in how Changmin’s control of the situation was sometimes hanging by a thread with the little noises of pleasure he couldn’t help but let escape and the way he licked his hand in the cupboard. He’s been thinking and planning this out but by having the reality sometimes threaten to overwhelm him made Changmin’s character even more interesting.
The bit in the office too when he slips while fixing Yunho’s tie and thinks he’s blown everything and he’s trying to stay calm, but his eyes are wary and then Donghae defuses it all, but they’re both blushing because they both know is such fabulous tension for the two of them and for the reader.
Back to Yunho. I love how you don't thump him into stereotypical pathetic, needy sub role. I'm always very wary of how D/s can be mistreated in all fandoms due to sheer ignorance or that kink-of-the-week dismissiveness where it's used as a quick way to get someone's clothes off or to justify dub-con.
You show it as the loving and supportive relationship choice it can be and ease both Yunho and the reader into it at the same time so there is no jarring OOC-ness. In fact, it's one of the least jarring D/s I've read in a while considering how hard it is to shoe-horn two not openly D/s in canon characters into such a framework.
It's not something Yunho seems to have thought about pursuing before, but the way it's offered sparks something dormant in him that he needs, and you make it such a plausible build-up between thinking it won't hurt to play along, to wanting to keep pleasing UC because it feels good, to realisation that he doesn't want to always be the one to make the decisions, to knowing that someone wants to look after and cherish him and shoulder the fallout from the burdens of being such a success.
*little side-note to cheer Yunho's inspiration being tantalisingly out of reach - I lolled so hard at the Bahamas/Mai Tai reference, because that's where my whole writing mojo has been in residence for the past eight years (although my inspiration drinks mojitos, but that's not important)
The email conversation about how the grope-Changmin order turned out so fucked-up but still made Yunho feel amazing for following the instruction to the letter was such a good way of explaining it. And the way you describe Yunho's headspace and the sinking down and surfacing depending on the stimulus both external and internal for him should be used as an example in a fic writing textbook because it's not heavy-handed and it's not too subtle. It just is what it is, and that's - like I said before - a rare gift.
You balance such a serious subject with so much humour: Donghae and Henry; Mrs Kang in accounts; the receptionists who always look at Yunho’s crotch unless they’re looking at his chest... and then counter-balance it again with some incredibly sexy ideas and scenes.
My favourite was the webcam - the moment where you have UC telling Yunho to answer the phone and Changmin sounding flustered and Yunho hearing him type while UC is typing instructions was such a brilliant mind-fuck. The audaciousness of it all made the scene even hotter.
To have Yunho coming while saying Changmin’s name, while Changmin was listening in one reality and watching via webcam in another... that’s one seriously kinky implosion of voyeurism and was utterly thrilling. Unspeakably hot and so damn clever (not to mention brave of Changmin, because he’s pushing Yunho’s shame buttons on both sides and that’s tricky to get right).
Finally can I just mention the brilliant inversion of Changmin calling Yunho Sir. That’s a touch that’s way beyond clever. The bit at the end where Changmin is calling Yunho both baby and sir and then Yunho’s last line just brings the whole thing full circle in such a neat and satisfying way.
I kind of want to tell you I’m speechless, but I think my comment betrays me (again). Thank you so much for writing this!
I'm enjoying these challenges even more than I ever imagined. Apart from those times when I go off the rails or allow myself to be distracted by shiny stuff on the kink meme...
I'm so glad you liked Changmin so much in this ♥
LOL you know we were talking about kink_bingo last night - this fic would fulfil ten different squares LMAO I really don't think I'll do it this year. Though I will probably end up getting a card and writing one fic during amnesty, urgh.
The webcam scene is my favourite too, not only for the doubling (tripling?) of the voyeurism, which seems to be emerging as something of a hot button for me this year, but also because your reaction on the first read-through of that scene was just brilliant. Best beta-read response ever LMAO
Anomalocaris sez he could totally take that Rhinopillar. He's so hardcore he scoffs trilobites for breakfast! Happy has no chance. Just as soon as Anomalocaris works out how to breathe outside of a marine environment, that Rhinopillar is dead meat.
Amazingly witty and very,very enjoyable! Or even more so. You're such a intelligent writer with taste for juicy details, it seriously is something most can only envy. Not to mention that Secretary Shim is the hottest thing in the world.
Only you could have a Rhinopillar plushie almost steal the whole story. Total genius to base Yunho's company around his special art skillz - I WANT a Rhinopillar plushie now (and an interactive Meerdeer or three plz muchly).
But I also love how Yunho treats Happy: sorry for drooling on him, not letting Changmin use him as a bulletin board with the post-its and especially turning him away so he can't be corrupted by the desk sex... he's the embodiment of Yunho himself - colourful, quirky, happy, innocent (for now) and totally squishable.
On the most basic level I utterly adore your version of Yunho here. I just want to wrap him up in ribbons and plug him in to the National Grid and have his creativity and enthusiasm power the whole world. I actually want to do that with the real Yunho too, but moreso with this Yunho.
My favourite part of his character is that he keeps thinking he's really secretive about his crush on Changmin but he's just a big obvious dork:
Unless he’s really obvious. Which could be the case. He often thinks he’s really subtle and then it turns out that he’s not at all.
That keeps tripping him up over and over again - when he's casually leaning over Changmin's desk to check his booty and when Donghae says Changmin has the whip hand - but it's important too because I think Changmin would have warred more with himself about making a move if he wasn't certain that his boss was attracted to him.
Changmin's too professional to get something that important wrong so I'm so grateful that Yunho didn't realise how obvious he was being.
Which leads me nicely to Changmin's character. Feck I LOVE this boy. I feel so much for him and how brave he is to keep pushing Yunho and the whole time having his job and his judgment and his heart on the line.
Writing this so deeply from Yunho's POV (very necessary to get such a great sense of the layers of headspace going on) means that Changmin's motivations and expectations are a huge mystery until the very end when he gets the chance to show he's vulnerable too: “I didn’t want you to be disappointed.” and that just confirmed everything I'd been feeling for him the whole story.
I know the reader should be drawn to Yunho and what he's experiencing, but you know I like to be contrary and my empathy was totally with it all working out for Changmin's sake. I'm such a strange fish
You also made Changmin human, despite both the Dom role and his day-to-day Strict Secretary demeanour (which is hot all on its own).
The bit with the casual-dress cravat cracked me up, but the bit where he couldn't help himself staring at Yunho's chest and when he was genuinely worried when he saw Yunho waiting in the lobby, and especially his too-turned-on-to-type grammar slip - Yes, yes, y.... these all made me love his character even more. You made it crystal clear that he genuinely wanted to put Yunho's emotional needs first and wasn't just doing all this for mutual hot and masterful sexyfuntimez.
Plus you also added in how Changmin’s control of the situation was sometimes hanging by a thread with the little noises of pleasure he couldn’t help but let escape and the way he licked his hand in the cupboard. He’s been thinking and planning this out but by having the reality sometimes threaten to overwhelm him made Changmin’s character even more interesting.
The bit in the office too when he slips while fixing Yunho’s tie and thinks he’s blown everything and he’s trying to stay calm, but his eyes are wary and then Donghae defuses it all, but they’re both blushing because they both know is such fabulous tension for the two of them and for the reader.
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You show it as the loving and supportive relationship choice it can be and ease both Yunho and the reader into it at the same time so there is no jarring OOC-ness. In fact, it's one of the least jarring D/s I've read in a while considering how hard it is to shoe-horn two not openly D/s in canon characters into such a framework.
It's not something Yunho seems to have thought about pursuing before, but the way it's offered sparks something dormant in him that he needs, and you make it such a plausible build-up between thinking it won't hurt to play along, to wanting to keep pleasing UC because it feels good, to realisation that he doesn't want to always be the one to make the decisions, to knowing that someone wants to look after and cherish him and shoulder the fallout from the burdens of being such a success.
*little side-note to cheer Yunho's inspiration being tantalisingly out of reach - I lolled so hard at the Bahamas/Mai Tai reference, because that's where my whole writing mojo has been in residence for the past eight years (although my inspiration drinks mojitos, but that's not important)
The email conversation about how the grope-Changmin order turned out so fucked-up but still made Yunho feel amazing for following the instruction to the letter was such a good way of explaining it. And the way you describe Yunho's headspace and the sinking down and surfacing depending on the stimulus both external and internal for him should be used as an example in a fic writing textbook because it's not heavy-handed and it's not too subtle. It just is what it is, and that's - like I said before - a rare gift.
You balance such a serious subject with so much humour: Donghae and Henry; Mrs Kang in accounts; the receptionists who always look at Yunho’s crotch unless they’re looking at his chest... and then counter-balance it again with some incredibly sexy ideas and scenes.
My favourite was the webcam - the moment where you have UC telling Yunho to answer the phone and Changmin sounding flustered and Yunho hearing him type while UC is typing instructions was such a brilliant mind-fuck. The audaciousness of it all made the scene even hotter.
To have Yunho coming while saying Changmin’s name, while Changmin was listening in one reality and watching via webcam in another... that’s one seriously kinky implosion of voyeurism and was utterly thrilling. Unspeakably hot and so damn clever (not to mention brave of Changmin, because he’s pushing Yunho’s shame buttons on both sides and that’s tricky to get right).
Finally can I just mention the brilliant inversion of Changmin calling Yunho Sir. That’s a touch that’s way beyond clever. The bit at the end where Changmin is calling Yunho both baby and sir and then Yunho’s last line just brings the whole thing full circle in such a neat and satisfying way.
I kind of want to tell you I’m speechless, but I think my comment betrays me (again). Thank you so much for writing this!
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I'm enjoying these challenges even more than I ever imagined.
Apart from those times when I go off the rails or allow myself to be distracted by shiny stuff on the kink meme...
I'm so glad you liked Changmin so much in this ♥
LOL you know we were talking about kink_bingo last night - this fic would fulfil ten different squares LMAO I really don't think I'll do it this year. Though I will probably end up getting a card and writing one fic during amnesty, urgh.
The webcam scene is my favourite too, not only for the doubling (tripling?) of the voyeurism, which seems to be emerging as something of a hot button for me this year, but also because your reaction on the first read-through of that scene was just brilliant. Best beta-read response ever LMAO
Anomalocaris sez he could totally take that Rhinopillar. He's so hardcore he scoffs trilobites for breakfast! Happy has no chance. Just as soon as Anomalocaris works out how to breathe outside of a marine environment, that Rhinopillar is dead meat.
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