I'm going out of my mind....
I feel depressed.....I miss Ryan more than I can explain......and I HATE how much I'm working and how I'm never home.....and I feel sick and nervous and unrested and on edge all the time......This job is going to give me an ulcer....I hate change.....it stresses me out and I am really freaking out....I just want to cry....so that is my que to go to bed I guess.....what else can I do? I'd like to stay up and hang out and do some stuff here on the computer, but I need to go to bed.....I feel rundown....which isn't suprising since I've been buring the candle from both ends.....
Anywho...only 2 more days....then it's the weekend....so that's good.
I guess work was ok today......I am starting to really feel like I know what I'm doing....at least for some stuff......some stuff I'm still completely lost on though....oh well. Michelle is nice.....as is most everyone else.....so....yeah My job is fine.....I'm just not use to working this much.....plus it's a new job on top of that so obviously that would be kinda stressful and a huge ajustment....but I'll be fine.
Corey called and wanted to see if I wanted to go to Laramie to see Ryan for a couple hours today.....Man did I, but it would have taken my whole night.....plus.....I would have gotten home way too late and gotten little to no sleep and would be miserable at work tomorrow....plus when I called to tell Ryan he said the weather was getting bad up there and I shouldn't chance coming up and getting stuck up there and missing work.....so I stayed home.....but I'm sad and I miss him and Corey's up there now and I just wish I could have gone and been there too. Oh well though....
Well, I need to dry my hair and get to bed.......I just pray life gets better and is different some day....I want to be happily married to Ryan and have some sort of music career....ANY MUSIC CAREER....even if that means being stuck working in an office....if it's an office for something musical I will be happy.......
So yeah....anyway....off to bed.....Let's hope I survive tomorrow......At least I have my cute Ryan picture to stare at and one of my wonderful family.......pictures make me happy....Michelle liked them too....she thought they were cute.......
Ok,.....for real now......night!
Anywho...only 2 more days....then it's the weekend....so that's good.
I guess work was ok today......I am starting to really feel like I know what I'm doing....at least for some stuff......some stuff I'm still completely lost on though....oh well. Michelle is nice.....as is most everyone else.....so....yeah My job is fine.....I'm just not use to working this much.....plus it's a new job on top of that so obviously that would be kinda stressful and a huge ajustment....but I'll be fine.
Corey called and wanted to see if I wanted to go to Laramie to see Ryan for a couple hours today.....Man did I, but it would have taken my whole night.....plus.....I would have gotten home way too late and gotten little to no sleep and would be miserable at work tomorrow....plus when I called to tell Ryan he said the weather was getting bad up there and I shouldn't chance coming up and getting stuck up there and missing work.....so I stayed home.....but I'm sad and I miss him and Corey's up there now and I just wish I could have gone and been there too. Oh well though....
Well, I need to dry my hair and get to bed.......I just pray life gets better and is different some day....I want to be happily married to Ryan and have some sort of music career....ANY MUSIC CAREER....even if that means being stuck working in an office....if it's an office for something musical I will be happy.......
So yeah....anyway....off to bed.....Let's hope I survive tomorrow......At least I have my cute Ryan picture to stare at and one of my wonderful family.......pictures make me happy....Michelle liked them too....she thought they were cute.......
Ok,.....for real now......night!