"There's a reason they call it Thirsty Thursday."
I just shotgunned a hearty bowl of Kate's matzo ball soup. I'm currently chasing it with a brass monkey.
A day today I did have. I had an awesome day at the massage clinic. I had two wonderful clients. I got to try out some stuff that I had never done before, & it all seemed to take swimmingly. I pretty much felt like The Tits.
Got to the new job (still training). Second day on the phones. Pretty stressful. I'm starting to get shades of these people's personalities up to the point where they have characteristics of other people that I've met before. (Some day when I completely snap, I'm gonna make a huge flow chart of all of the personality quirks people have in common)
Anyway, two minutes before I'm off the clock for the night, a hospital nurse calls in to a doctor's office. She says that she would like to have a Dr X paged. I say tell her Dr. Y is on call, I can have him paged. She explains that Dr. Y is the one that wants to consult with Dr. X. She gives me a phone number where Dr X can call Dr. Y. I type it in, & now I'm stuck & confused. My safety-net-chick (who has a headset & has been listening to the whole call) tells me to put her on hold & ask the supervisor what to do. I tell her, "I have a call for [dr's office], and Dr. Y wants to have Dr. X called" she says okay. Before I can say anything, my safety-net tells me to call Dr. X. I hesitate, she tells me to do it. (At this point, I feel compelled to mention that Dr. X is actually a doctor of mine!! & I'm calling him at his residence!) I get ahold of him, he okay's deal. Then my safety-net tells me to patch the call & say 'such-&-such'. I hesitate, because I don't have Dr. Y on hold, I have the nurse. She reaches for the button, so I just reach ahead of her & it it. I say, "You're patched through," & the nurse says, "I didn't say I had Dr. Y on the line!" to which Dr X gives an embarrassed, "Oh!" Before I can explain or backtrack or anything, my safety-net says, "Op-out!" & in a panic, I hit the Op-Out button that disconnects me, leaving a flustered nurse & a confused doctor of mine alone on the line together. I close my eyes & the air around me becomes very quiet. I slowly explain the situation to the supervisor. She starts scolding me, "You need to be more specific. You said you had Dr. Y on the line." (Technically, I didn't say that, I said he wanted to speak with Dr. X. I just omitted that the nurse was between them.) I exit out of the directory & find that the number that the nurse gave me has been cleared. There's no evidence that I was the only one paying attention. I have a blank screen that says I fucked up. The supervisor observes that I'm visibly upset. She walks over to my station. I can tell that my energy is doing that swirly seething thing. I hit the "Done [with call]" button & just sit there. My safety-net quietly says to the supervisor, "It was my fault." I breathe & flex my neck, giving a loud crack. Another call comes in. I take it with no problem. My safety-net says to me, "It's my fault. I was talking to Carla* & didn't hear." That just pissed me off even more, but I smiled & said, "No worries." At least it was time to go home.
[*not her real name]
My supervisor told me not to take it so hard. I smiled to get out of the emotional hostage situation. Whatever; she meant well. & apparently, Dr. X is her doctor, too. She signed my time card & I got the hell out of there.
I could feel the emotion prickly up in my throat & eyes. For about a week & a half, I've been having that little creature inside that wants to break down into a countless pieces until she's just sand. & I've kept her in pretty good check without even any depressive bleed over. She's just been waiting for me to have a good cry so she can burn off some energy. I thought I might get out a nice, robust cry when I got to the cry, but nothing past a sniff. I could feel her go, "hmpf" when I realized it was nothin'-doin'. That was a little amusing, but I was still just too pissed off.
In the car, I shuffled through my iPod, only stopping only for angry music. Manson, Reznor, etc. I sang & hollered at slow drivers. I passed a cop on the side of the road. I had a huge inclination to just lay on my horn. I didn't want to run anyone off the road; I just wanted to make a huge blaring ruckus that ruined everyone's peace as I went past them. At a stoplight, a guy sped around me & peeled off to the right. I wondered if he was pissed off like me. I thought about how scary it was that there were people angrier & crazier than me on the road all the time. I thought about the top few crazies in & around my life: delusionals, dissociatives, emotionals, impulsives. I thought about crazy people on the road with a random rage, wound or vengeance that mixed with their crazy, & how it might make them drive. I gave the guy in front of me another car length.
Home now. I'm bloated with soup. Feeling better.
Aunt Net's guest just brought me a sample of meritage to try. What a nice boy.
A day today I did have. I had an awesome day at the massage clinic. I had two wonderful clients. I got to try out some stuff that I had never done before, & it all seemed to take swimmingly. I pretty much felt like The Tits.
Got to the new job (still training). Second day on the phones. Pretty stressful. I'm starting to get shades of these people's personalities up to the point where they have characteristics of other people that I've met before. (Some day when I completely snap, I'm gonna make a huge flow chart of all of the personality quirks people have in common)
Anyway, two minutes before I'm off the clock for the night, a hospital nurse calls in to a doctor's office. She says that she would like to have a Dr X paged. I say tell her Dr. Y is on call, I can have him paged. She explains that Dr. Y is the one that wants to consult with Dr. X. She gives me a phone number where Dr X can call Dr. Y. I type it in, & now I'm stuck & confused. My safety-net-chick (who has a headset & has been listening to the whole call) tells me to put her on hold & ask the supervisor what to do. I tell her, "I have a call for [dr's office], and Dr. Y wants to have Dr. X called" she says okay. Before I can say anything, my safety-net tells me to call Dr. X. I hesitate, she tells me to do it. (At this point, I feel compelled to mention that Dr. X is actually a doctor of mine!! & I'm calling him at his residence!) I get ahold of him, he okay's deal. Then my safety-net tells me to patch the call & say 'such-&-such'. I hesitate, because I don't have Dr. Y on hold, I have the nurse. She reaches for the button, so I just reach ahead of her & it it. I say, "You're patched through," & the nurse says, "I didn't say I had Dr. Y on the line!" to which Dr X gives an embarrassed, "Oh!" Before I can explain or backtrack or anything, my safety-net says, "Op-out!" & in a panic, I hit the Op-Out button that disconnects me, leaving a flustered nurse & a confused doctor of mine alone on the line together. I close my eyes & the air around me becomes very quiet. I slowly explain the situation to the supervisor. She starts scolding me, "You need to be more specific. You said you had Dr. Y on the line." (Technically, I didn't say that, I said he wanted to speak with Dr. X. I just omitted that the nurse was between them.) I exit out of the directory & find that the number that the nurse gave me has been cleared. There's no evidence that I was the only one paying attention. I have a blank screen that says I fucked up. The supervisor observes that I'm visibly upset. She walks over to my station. I can tell that my energy is doing that swirly seething thing. I hit the "Done [with call]" button & just sit there. My safety-net quietly says to the supervisor, "It was my fault." I breathe & flex my neck, giving a loud crack. Another call comes in. I take it with no problem. My safety-net says to me, "It's my fault. I was talking to Carla* & didn't hear." That just pissed me off even more, but I smiled & said, "No worries." At least it was time to go home.
[*not her real name]
My supervisor told me not to take it so hard. I smiled to get out of the emotional hostage situation. Whatever; she meant well. & apparently, Dr. X is her doctor, too. She signed my time card & I got the hell out of there.
I could feel the emotion prickly up in my throat & eyes. For about a week & a half, I've been having that little creature inside that wants to break down into a countless pieces until she's just sand. & I've kept her in pretty good check without even any depressive bleed over. She's just been waiting for me to have a good cry so she can burn off some energy. I thought I might get out a nice, robust cry when I got to the cry, but nothing past a sniff. I could feel her go, "hmpf" when I realized it was nothin'-doin'. That was a little amusing, but I was still just too pissed off.
In the car, I shuffled through my iPod, only stopping only for angry music. Manson, Reznor, etc. I sang & hollered at slow drivers. I passed a cop on the side of the road. I had a huge inclination to just lay on my horn. I didn't want to run anyone off the road; I just wanted to make a huge blaring ruckus that ruined everyone's peace as I went past them. At a stoplight, a guy sped around me & peeled off to the right. I wondered if he was pissed off like me. I thought about how scary it was that there were people angrier & crazier than me on the road all the time. I thought about the top few crazies in & around my life: delusionals, dissociatives, emotionals, impulsives. I thought about crazy people on the road with a random rage, wound or vengeance that mixed with their crazy, & how it might make them drive. I gave the guy in front of me another car length.
Home now. I'm bloated with soup. Feeling better.
Aunt Net's guest just brought me a sample of meritage to try. What a nice boy.