FIC:Made To Be Broken 5/?

[tolerik]

Title: Made to Be Broken
Author: Esmeralda
Pairing: Cain/Glitch
Rating: Adult, somewhere down the line.
Summary: How events might unfold after the end of the witch.
Disclaimer:Tin Man isn’t mine.

This chapter hasn't been edited by any one but me at the moment, so please feel free to point out the mistakes :) I'll come back and tweak at it.

Chapter 5

Even though it was heading towards morning the sky above was still threaded with stars when the next guard shift reported for duty. Cain and Glitch bid the men a goodnight and then made their way back indoors. They found the palace cool and strangely quiet without the constant marching of Long Coats. Glitch seemed lost and jumpy. Cain took charge, searching until he finally found a bedroom suite. He checked it over and lit a couple of lamps. The large ornate room was dominated by a vast bed covered in satin, silver-grey sheets. A crimson coronet flowed downwards from the wall above the headboard.

“Not exactly cosy, but it’ll do,” Cain commented, dropping his hat onto a richly upholstered chair.

Glitch’s gaze flitted about the room like a cornered animal’s.

“Glitch?”

“Err - um, where do I-? That is where should I-? I’ll just sleep down here on the floor,” Glitch finished hastily. He dropped down and stretched out next to the bed.

“Hey!”

”Sorry.” Glitch scrambled to his feet. “I can sleep in the chair. Or would you prefer that I find my own room?” Despite the offer, Glitch looked like he would prefer to gnaw off his own foot rather than head back out into the corridor.

“It’s a big bed,” said Cain calmly. “I think it’ll hold the two of us, don’t you?”

Glitch’s eyes grew almost comically round as he stared at the bed in question. “It is a very big bed,” he agreed equably.

“Look, if it makes you uncomfortable. You can take the bed and I’ll take the chair.” Cain was pretty certain he could already hear his back protesting.

“No. No,” said Glitch hurriedly. “I don’t mind at all. Are you sure you don’t?”

Cain had already sat down on the bed and was pulling off his boots. “I think that if we talk much longer, I’ll be asleep standing up.” He checked that the safety was on his gun and placed it carefully under the pillow. Then he removed all of his clothing except for his underwear and slipped between the sheets, trying not to think about the bed’s previous occupant; he had bedded down in far worse places. It took him a moment to realise that Glitch was still standing next to the bed, his eyes wide and his expression unreadable. ”What is it now, Glitch?” Cain asked a touch wearily.

“Nothing,” Glitch whispered. He laid down gingerly on the furthest edge of the bed.

“Glitch?”

”Yes?”

”Take off your coat and boots at least, yeah?”

“Oh. Right.” Glitch wriggled out of his ragged coat and then tugged off his boots. One flew from his grasp and struck a lamp on the other side of the room. “Oops.”

”Don’t worry about it. Just lay down.” Cain doused the lamp beside the bed. “You might be more comfortable under the sheets,” he added, after a slight pause.

Satin rustled softly as Glitch complied.

A leg brushed against Cain’s.

Glitch jerked away violently. “Sorry,” he muttered.

“Relax, sweetheart. Your virtue’s safe with me.” Unfortunately, the teasing riposte had the opposite effect; Glitch froze, as rigid as a store mannequin. Cain was at a loss as to why Glitch was apparently suddenly so unhappy about any kind of physical contact. “Is something wrong, Glitch?”

“Wrong? No. Nothing’s wrong,” said Glitch quickly

A little too quickly, and Cain was becoming concerned. “Look, if you want me to sleep in the chair I can. It’s not a problem, Glitch. Only I’m getting the feeling that you’re not exactly happy with this arrangement.” He had found that blunt often worked best with his befuddled friend.

“I don’t want you to sleep in the chair.”

“Well, good.” Cain waited, and when Glitch didn’t add anything or relax his stiff, unhappy posture, Cain re-lit the lamp and rolled over to face him. “Okay. Enough. Are you going to tell me what’s wrong, or are we both going to lie here all night with you miserable and me guessing why?”

“I forgot.”

Cain frowned. “Forgot what?” he asked automatically, and then wondered if Glitch would even remember.

It seemed that on this occasion Glitch did. “When I took hold of your hand. I forgot that we don’t do that.” He glanced sidelong at Cain. “I must apologise. It’s just sometimes I get a little, well… confused.”

Cain thought that Glitch had a definite gift for understatement, but all he said was: “You don’t need to apologise, Glitch.”

“Yes, I do. You see, I think that I remember things, but either they never happened, or they did, just not in the way that I think they did.” Glitch frowned. “At least, I think that’s the way it goes.” He held up his hands as though he were counting points off on his fingers. “A thing happens. I remember it. But then it didn’t happen. Or if it did, it didn’t happen the way I remember it.” He looked at Cain. “Is that right do you think?”

Cain decided to go with diplomacy. “Sounds feasible. So, you thought that’d you’d remembered that we’d held hands before?”

“Yes!” Glitch sounded relieved that Cain was apparently following the conversation.

Cain was more intrigued as to why Glitch thought that had happened. Then again, who knew how ideas took seed inside that split skull.

“You see, it was all quite logical really. I remembered you holding my hand and I remembered lying next to you like this.” Glitch looked around. “Only it wasn’t in a room and it was very cold. That feels very real, actually. Are you quite certain that didn’t happen?”

“No, that happened. I had hypothermia. You saved my life.”

“I did?” Glitch looked delighted. Then the wide smile wobbled. “Oh, I was keeping you warm. We weren’t-” He waggled his fingers back and forth between them.

Amused, Cain shook his head. “No. We weren’t.”

Glitch looked away. “How very embarrassing.”

In the dim glow of the lamp Cain could see his friend’s usually pale cheeks were suffused with twin spots of colour. “Hey look, I really don’t see a problem here. So you held my hand for a while back there, what of it? I seem to recall I was holding onto yours.”

“You don’t see a problem?” Glitch repeated sceptically. “You’re a Tin Man. Don’t you have some kind of reputation to maintain? It’s hardly going to be enhanced by your wandering around hand in hand with a zipperhead.”

“If I want to hold your hand, Glitch, I will. I don’t give a damn about what anybody else thinks and neither should you. Now go to sleep.” Cain turned off the lamp.

There was a pause and then a very quiet voice asked, “You really didn’t mind?”

“No.”

“And if my synapses misfire again? And I forget?”

“It’s fine, Glitch. Now please, go to sleep.” He was slightly startled when Glitch appeared to do just that, with almost unnatural abruptness. Listening to Glitch’s soft snoring was oddly comforting. Part of Cain feared sleep; he didn’t want to wake and discover that all this had all been another of Zero’s cruel illusions, and he was still inside that metal sarcophagus. Grounded by the solid presence beside him, Cain finally allowed his eyes to close and he followed his friend into sleep.

*******************************

Cain awoke to find himself unaccountably hot and unable to move. The instinctive urge to struggle free was forgotten as he realised the cause - Glitch, who was currently entwined around him like a particularly affectionate vine. Cain wondered if his friend was simply gravitating towards a source of warmth or if the headcase had glitched and was once again operating under misinformation. Cain’s only real concern was that Glitch would be embarrassed. His own unease at being touched or embraced was beginning to lessen, and he was able to acknowledge that he was pretty much okay with this. He couldn’t deny that he felt more comfortable around Glitch than any one else. Why that should be the case was something he wasn’t ready to answer. He tried telling himself it was because Glitch was harmless, nonthreatening, but it was a weak argument and he knew it. Glitch might have lost his marbles but those sly smiles and the odd insightful comment told Cain that the man had somehow succeeded into holding onto his wits, albeit a slightly scrambled version. Plus, Glitch was one of the most remarkable hand-to-hand fighters Cain had ever seen, something that he was still struggling to comprehend. Glitch fought in much the same way that he danced, with apparently instinctive grace and a fluidity that made Cain’s breath catch.

No, Glitch was far from harmless, which came as something of a relief to Cain, who tried not to think too hard about what it might have been like for the headcase wandering alone in the O.Z for all those annuals. He moved his head, trying not to disturb his sleeping companion, but failed to dislodge the curl that was currently tickling his jaw. He attempted to blow the ridiculous looking thing away, but years of neglect had rendered it stiff and unyielding, and it refused all attempts to dislodge it. Personal grooming evidently hadn’t featured very highly on Glitch’s list of priorities; his tangled hair, bitten nails and tattered, mildewed garments were testimony to that. However, stripped of that musty coat he did smell surprisingly clean. Cain breathed in deeply and decided that the woodsy odour suited Glitch. He continued to study his friend, with no thought as to why. It was made easier for him when Glitch sighed and shifted in the bed.

Sunlight had found a way through a gap in the heavy drapes. It accentuated the alarming pallor of Glitch’s skin and Cain made a mental note to observe his friend’s diet, although he was fairly confident that a lack of nutrients played a nominal role. It was more reasonable to assume that it was some kind of side effect from the surgery. He also considered that as likely an explanation as any as to why Glitch apparently never bore any sign of beard growth. Each day on the road Cain had rigorously (and often painfully) scraped a cut throat razor over the lower half of his face, determined to maintain the appearance of a civilized man for when he next encountered Zero. Glitch had shown no sign of needing to, and while Cain could currently feel the tell-tale itch of stubble, Glitch’s skin was perfectly smooth and pale, without even the faintest hint of shadow. Cain continued to catalog his friend’s appearance, noting that Glitch’s strange hair was the same blue-black as a raven’s wing, likewise those improbably long lashes; both made a striking contrast to that milky white complexion. Glitch’s eyes were equally dark. On more than one occasion Cain had found them difficult to read; the fractured thoughts that swam behind them all but impossible to decipher.

Glitch moved again, sliding down the bed until his face was snug against Cain’s chest, his breath ghosting across a nipple with each exhale. Cain shivered, it was too much. Too much sensation. Too much contact. He tried to draw away.

Glitch mumbled sleepily and then lifted his head, blinking blearily at Cain. He stared blankly for a moment and then frowned. In the next instant he stiffened in alarm as he obviously registered the close proximity of their bodies. “Who are you,” he hissed.

Cain was startled by the venom in his friend’s usually gentle voice. “And a good morning to you too, sweetheart.” Cain could almost see the wheels turning as Glitch registered the words.

“Cain!” said Glitch joyously.

Cain battled the urge to roll his eyes. Nevertheless, part of him was gratified that Glitch had not only managed to recall who he was, but he also seemed inordinately pleased to find Cain along side him. Pleasure rapidly turned to embarrassment however, and a mortified looking Glitch suddenly recoiled. Cain managed to hook an arm around his waist before he could slide backwards onto the floor. “Hey, hey. It’s okay. Glitch, look at me.”

Glitch peered at Cain unhappily from beneath the dark fringe of his lashes.

“No one’s mad, okay? I said I was all right with this and I meant it. How about you? Are you still all right with it?” Met with a blank look, Cain explained. “When you woke up you didn’t seem too happy having someone this close. If you need more space you need to tell me-” The words had barely left his mouth when long pale fingers latched onto his arm.

“Don’t leave,” Glitch blurted out.

“I’m not going any where,” vowed Cain softly. The grip on his arm was just shy of painful and it was all too easy to read the desperation on Glitch’s face. “You can let go, Glitch. I promise I won’t leave.”

Glitch seemed to realise that his fingers were digging into the forearm resting across his belly. He immediately relinquished his grip and drew his hands up beneath his chin. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he repeated anxiously. “I don’t know why I did that.” He was looking anywhere except at Cain. “It’s just you treat me like I’m worth something. It’s been a long time since any one cared anything about what I feel or think. I don’t want to lose that. You don’t know what it’s like to be made to feel like you’re of less use to someone than a hen or a sack of grain,” he added bitterly.

Cain took hold of Glitch’s chin, gently forcing the headcase to meet his gaze. “You’re worth a hell of a lot more than that.”

Glitch flushed; a delicious shade of pink that encompassed his cheeks and throat. “Well, yes. I mean, thank you,” he babbled.

Fascinated, Cain watch the rosy colouration stain Glitch’s skin. The blankets were bunched about their waists and while Glitch had chosen to sleep in his undershirt, numerous buttons on it were either missing or wrongly fastened, leaving an enticing stripe of skin and one nipple exposed. Cain stared. If he were to brush his thumb across that nipple he wondered would it harden beneath his touch? Stricken, he let go and drew back. What in the name of the O.Z was he thinking? This man was his friend. Glitch trusted him not to take advantage, and here he was, betraying that trust. “We should get up,” he announced hurriedly. “The others must be awake by now.” In fact, he had no idea what time it was and only hoped that it was late enough for everyone else to have risen. “We can meet DG and Raw for breakfast. Come on, rise and shine.” He threw back the blankets and swung his legs out of bed. Sitting with his back to Glitch, he could almost feel his friend’s confusion and this time the headcase wasn’t alone.

Cain hadn’t looked seriously at another man or woman since Adora, and he was still struggling to come to terms with the fact that she was dead, that everything he had loved about her was lost to him. They had married young, but Cain had never once doubted that they would spend the rest of their lives together. Now that surety was gone and he had been cast adrift. All he knew was that it was too soon to feel anything for anybody else. It had to be. He stood up and crossed the room without glancing back. The wash facilities had to be around here somewhere. What he eventually found through a door leading off the bedroom was a room covered from floor to ceiling in black marble. There were metal nozzles at various heights along all the walls, and a series of dials on a panel next to the door. Cain eyed them dubiously.

“Here, try this.”

A hand snaked past him and Glitch fiddled with the dials for a moment. In the next instant water began to gush from the nozzles lining the walls. Cain reached for the closest and found the water was a little cool. “Too cold.”

“Hmm.” Glitch twiddled with another dial. “Try it now.”

Cain did and found that the water was now the right temperature. He couldn’t help but smile at his pleased-looking companion. “How did you know about this?”

“I invented it,” said Glitch. “At least, I think I did. Or maybe I just made some improvements.” His smile faltered. “It’s hard to remember sometimes.”

“I wouldn’t worry about it. What counts is you knew how to make it work.” Cain had forgotten his earlier unease in his desire to try it out. Time spent as a Tin Man cadet meant that he was no stranger to shared quarters and he unselfconsciously slipped off his underwear and entered the wet room. He stuck his head under one of the nozzles and savored the feel of hot, clean water running over his skin. It made him feel strangely free, and he heard himself ask if Glitch was planning to join him. He chose to forget how he had felt waking up next to the headcase. They were friends, nothing more. However, when he turned his head and looked toward the doorway Glitch had gone. Telling himself that he was in no way disappointed, Cain stuck his head back under the spray and closed his eyes. The torrent of water felt good rushing over aching muscles and sore limbs. He was more than a little startled when he re-opened his eyes and found Glitch standing next to him. The headcase had his back to the spray and was directing the water to run down his spine. Cain’s gaze followed the cascade of water droplets to the gentle curve of Glitch’s buttocks until he suddenly remembered himself and he looked away.

He was angry with himself for a whole multitude of reasons, but chief amongst them were shame and anger. Adora was newly lost to him, if not to the world, and he should be mourning her not lusting after someone else. Especially when that someone else was Glitch, a man encumbered by his surgically imposed innocence. What Glitch needed from him was friendship, nothing more. Cain still believed that he had failed Adora, he couldn’t - and wouldn’t - fail Glitch.

He stepped out from under the spray. “Come on, the others will be waiting.” He left without waiting for Glitch’s response. Dressing hastily, Cain turned his back to the room as he looked out of the window, watching the resistance members below. He listened to Glitch padding softly about the room talking quietly to himself as he gathered up his clothing and boots. Cain eventually turned around to find Glitch struggling with the pearl buttons on his shirt, and apparently growing more and more distressed by his inability to fasten them. Unable to stand by and do nothing, Cain went to his friend’s aid. Placing his hands over Glitch’s Cain lowered them gently; then without speaking he took over the task. When he had finished, Cain held out his arm and looked at Glitch expectantly

Glitch stared back non-plussed for a moment. Then his expression cleared and a smile smoothed the creases from his brow.

Linking arms, they left the room together.