I like this.
Dear Santa...
Dear Santa,
This year I've been busy!
Last month I pushed eff_you_mike in the mud (-17 points). In June I helped _morbidchild hide a body (-173 points). Last Saturday I ruled Duluth, Minnesota as a kind and benevolent dictator (700 points). In May I ate my brussel sprouts (1 points). Last Tuesday I invaded Iraq, broke it, and couldn't glue it back together before Mom got home (-1012 points).
Overall, I've been naughty (-501 points). For Christmas I deserve a lump of coal!
Sincerely,
glistening_eyez