Don't Split The Party!
I've recently re-discovered the delights and hilarity of playing Dungeons & Dragons, and I feel the need to ramble on about the meet yesterday and how wonderfully we managed to screw the DM over! Oh, and this could be a long one.
We're currently playing a Ninja based game, where everyone is sneaky and there's quite a lot of back-stabbing going on. The party was sent to assassinate an evil knight that lived far away (except from me, because I joined a week later), and they decided to look around for information about the castle and then meet up at a set time and place in a weeks time, or when they had learnt what they needed to know, they would meet up sooner. This might have worked in theory, but the hitch was that everyone had a Hat of Disguise, allowing them to change their appearance to anything they liked. Yes. I know. They forgot what each other looked like and spent the whole week learning...not a great deal. Apart from there was a secret entrance up the toilet chute and that the castle may or may not be filled with poison gas.
I was then sent to figure out what was taking them so long, and arrived to find about 10 golems peering through a doorway, and hearing lots and lots of fighting, and assumed I was in the right place. Using my own ninja skills, I snuck past the golems and went to a corner armed with my magic Sharpie (which allows me to create any inanimate object I choose, until the pen eventually runs out of ink) and drew myself a door through the wall. Now, everyone else at this point was using somewhat exotic measures to try not to breathe in the gas - either by holding their breath or using a Portable Hole. They also seemed to ba having severe problems with a 40 odd foot high golem taking up most of a room. No problem. I made myself a gas mask, disguised myself as a golem and wandered on past, making a door within a door to get to the others, who had somehow managed to succeed in killing the knight and were now proceeding to steal the loot and stuffing the dead guy in a bag of holding. We escaped back through my series of doorways and returned back to the Ninja HQ. Or at least the other two did.
The party leader had somewhat neglected to tell me that at the castle he had managed to incur the wrath of The Inevitable - a very big, very powerful golem that was able to find anyone no matter where they hid. And guess who I was partenered with for the journey back? Being the back-stabbing git that I was, I just drifted away on my magic carpet back to HQ, drinking tea all the way whilst he fled for his life. I still managed to arrive after everyone, because my carpet had a speed restriction og 40ft per turn, and by the time I got there, everyone was attempting to give a report to the leader - Shredder (yes, I know. But it had to be done...ok?)
Of course the Inevitable then had to come and crash the party, declare that the party leader was going to die, unless someone could give him a very good reason not to. Cue Insane Troll Logic. Somehow we managed to confuse it into giving the leader a Quest instead of death, (and here's the best bit) which entailed that because he killed the knight in the castle, who was building an army that would invade this city, kill thousands of people, lead tyranically but bring peace and order to the land, he had to take the place of the knight and build an army to invade the city and bring peace and order to the land. Oh, and any day he did not do something towards his quest would take him one step further towards his death.
Cue the back stabbing! Our esteemed Shredder then ordered us to surround and kill the leader...and most of us did, but hey, I'd been paid already and helping a tyrant looked like fun and I'd get to kill things. I have no idea what went through the other person that turned rogue too, but I can only assume that it was something along the same lines. Cue splitting the party! We legged it out of the building and back towards the castle, hijacking a horse on the way out, because this was not the time for scenic travel. But oops, our esteemed leader has managed to get himself poisoned, so it's off to the village healer with me (and the other one just went to the pub), who just about buys my logic that he fell in a patch of poison ivy and thorns that was inhabited by a purple worm, but I wasn't there, I just found him afterwards. The healer then tells me of a temple where I can get the luckless git healed up, which is overheard by the remaining ninja and Master Shredder.
Cue: The Trap. Shredder fills the temple up with ninjas disguised as monks and sends the remaining ninja (who is a monk) to modify our memories so that we regain our loyalty to Shredder and forget all about helping the leader become a tyrant! We turn up at the temple, also disguised as monks ourselves, with our esteemed leader stuffed in his own bag of holding with the other corpse, asking to speak to the leader, who my fellow rogue convinces that they are father and son. After meditating, we persuade them to take us to the antidote, and he attempts to sneak it into his bag of holding so we can leg it out of there, because something doesn't seem right. Unfortunately he failed on his sleight of hand, and 'the only cure' smashed into a thousand pieces.
He then adds the icing on the cake by tipping out the unconscious form of the leader (who we had bluffed we didn't have with us), and the corpse of the knight. Using troll logic once more, we are sent out to find the herbs to make another cure, whilst the ninja-monk modifies the memory of our leader, making him forget his quest and that he learnt to master a bow (just cause). Meanwhile, we were ambushed by a large group of ninjas, who really didn't like me and bludgeoned me round the head about 6 times just to make sure I was properly unconscious, whilst my partener in crime used the acolyte as a shield, eventually being bundled and knocked out. Both of us were dragged back to the temple to have our memories modified, but just for once I managed to not roll a natural one (having rolled about...7 so far that session) to keep my memory of the meeting with The Inevitable, but not knowing what it was that he told our leader to do.
Next session we're swapping Ninjas for Pirates, and I'm reaaaaaaallly going to have fun with the backstabbing in that one!
We're currently playing a Ninja based game, where everyone is sneaky and there's quite a lot of back-stabbing going on. The party was sent to assassinate an evil knight that lived far away (except from me, because I joined a week later), and they decided to look around for information about the castle and then meet up at a set time and place in a weeks time, or when they had learnt what they needed to know, they would meet up sooner. This might have worked in theory, but the hitch was that everyone had a Hat of Disguise, allowing them to change their appearance to anything they liked. Yes. I know. They forgot what each other looked like and spent the whole week learning...not a great deal. Apart from there was a secret entrance up the toilet chute and that the castle may or may not be filled with poison gas.
I was then sent to figure out what was taking them so long, and arrived to find about 10 golems peering through a doorway, and hearing lots and lots of fighting, and assumed I was in the right place. Using my own ninja skills, I snuck past the golems and went to a corner armed with my magic Sharpie (which allows me to create any inanimate object I choose, until the pen eventually runs out of ink) and drew myself a door through the wall. Now, everyone else at this point was using somewhat exotic measures to try not to breathe in the gas - either by holding their breath or using a Portable Hole. They also seemed to ba having severe problems with a 40 odd foot high golem taking up most of a room. No problem. I made myself a gas mask, disguised myself as a golem and wandered on past, making a door within a door to get to the others, who had somehow managed to succeed in killing the knight and were now proceeding to steal the loot and stuffing the dead guy in a bag of holding. We escaped back through my series of doorways and returned back to the Ninja HQ. Or at least the other two did.
The party leader had somewhat neglected to tell me that at the castle he had managed to incur the wrath of The Inevitable - a very big, very powerful golem that was able to find anyone no matter where they hid. And guess who I was partenered with for the journey back? Being the back-stabbing git that I was, I just drifted away on my magic carpet back to HQ, drinking tea all the way whilst he fled for his life. I still managed to arrive after everyone, because my carpet had a speed restriction og 40ft per turn, and by the time I got there, everyone was attempting to give a report to the leader - Shredder (yes, I know. But it had to be done...ok?)
Of course the Inevitable then had to come and crash the party, declare that the party leader was going to die, unless someone could give him a very good reason not to. Cue Insane Troll Logic. Somehow we managed to confuse it into giving the leader a Quest instead of death, (and here's the best bit) which entailed that because he killed the knight in the castle, who was building an army that would invade this city, kill thousands of people, lead tyranically but bring peace and order to the land, he had to take the place of the knight and build an army to invade the city and bring peace and order to the land. Oh, and any day he did not do something towards his quest would take him one step further towards his death.
Cue the back stabbing! Our esteemed Shredder then ordered us to surround and kill the leader...and most of us did, but hey, I'd been paid already and helping a tyrant looked like fun and I'd get to kill things. I have no idea what went through the other person that turned rogue too, but I can only assume that it was something along the same lines. Cue splitting the party! We legged it out of the building and back towards the castle, hijacking a horse on the way out, because this was not the time for scenic travel. But oops, our esteemed leader has managed to get himself poisoned, so it's off to the village healer with me (and the other one just went to the pub), who just about buys my logic that he fell in a patch of poison ivy and thorns that was inhabited by a purple worm, but I wasn't there, I just found him afterwards. The healer then tells me of a temple where I can get the luckless git healed up, which is overheard by the remaining ninja and Master Shredder.
Cue: The Trap. Shredder fills the temple up with ninjas disguised as monks and sends the remaining ninja (who is a monk) to modify our memories so that we regain our loyalty to Shredder and forget all about helping the leader become a tyrant! We turn up at the temple, also disguised as monks ourselves, with our esteemed leader stuffed in his own bag of holding with the other corpse, asking to speak to the leader, who my fellow rogue convinces that they are father and son. After meditating, we persuade them to take us to the antidote, and he attempts to sneak it into his bag of holding so we can leg it out of there, because something doesn't seem right. Unfortunately he failed on his sleight of hand, and 'the only cure' smashed into a thousand pieces.
He then adds the icing on the cake by tipping out the unconscious form of the leader (who we had bluffed we didn't have with us), and the corpse of the knight. Using troll logic once more, we are sent out to find the herbs to make another cure, whilst the ninja-monk modifies the memory of our leader, making him forget his quest and that he learnt to master a bow (just cause). Meanwhile, we were ambushed by a large group of ninjas, who really didn't like me and bludgeoned me round the head about 6 times just to make sure I was properly unconscious, whilst my partener in crime used the acolyte as a shield, eventually being bundled and knocked out. Both of us were dragged back to the temple to have our memories modified, but just for once I managed to not roll a natural one (having rolled about...7 so far that session) to keep my memory of the meeting with The Inevitable, but not knowing what it was that he told our leader to do.
Next session we're swapping Ninjas for Pirates, and I'm reaaaaaaallly going to have fun with the backstabbing in that one!