Shoppin'
I have been needing to shop for a few items for my cruise and dreading every second of it. I've therefore put it off until this afternoon. I had to run into work today to do some paperwork and also check on my fish, so on the way home I forced myself to make the appropriate turn that would take me to Target.
First on my list were hose and shoes that would be appropriate for a formal dining experience. The cruise we're taking has two formal nights in the dining room, and we thought it might be fun to go to at least one of them. I so rarely dress up that I am quite unequipped for this. I have a rather awful little black polyester crepe cocktail dress that I bought a few years ago at Ross and have only worn once. It's pretty plain, and looks equally frumpy whether I'm 20 lbs. up or down. It does, however, fit pretty comfortably, it was under $15. Oh, and it is hand washable. Score one for me. I managed to find some hose at Target that I think will be OK...I hate the feel of pantyhose so I get the very largest ones they have, hoping I can swim in them. I did not find shoes at Target. In fact I discovered that Target's shoe section may very well be one of the planes of Hell that Dante didn't get to. The Target I frequent is usually pretty well tended and kept nice in spite of people who fling rejected items off into aisles or leave things on the wrong shelves. The shoe section appeared to be a no-man's land, however. Discarded shoes littered the walk ways. Nothing was in order of size or style, nothing was in the correct box or stocked by the right price card, and the styles there were some of the most hideous creations of shoe-making elves I've ever witnessed.
And so I moved on to other areas and picked up sun screen and a very cute little evening clutch (hauling my leather backpack purse to the dining room on formal night seemed gauche). The second item on my shopping list was pants...something comfortable, but appropriate for "business casual" attire, as jeans and shorts are apparently right out for dining rooms on the cruise. I gleefully discovered that Target is again carrying linen pants! I scored two pairs of linen pants, both of which fit loosely and comfortably (I bought a size larger than I usually do, since my ass has been spreading like the floor of the ocean - slowly but surely). I tried on a variety of tops that all plunged well below my bra line (tacky!) while simultaneously making my shoulders look even more like a linebacker's than usual. Nice. Those were returned to the rack.
Accepting my small victory in the pants-finding expedition, I checked out and went next door to Payless shoes. It's been years since I wandered into a Payless, and I wasn't nearly as horrified as I anticipated. I actually found my size, which is pretty rare, especially when it comes to dress shoes or heels. I'm a 9 1/2 wide. I usually just buy men's size 8 in sneakers or hiking boots, but since most stores don't carry heels for drag queens, I am always out of luck on purchasing fancy shoes. I usually have to buy 10, which is often too long, while being too narrow anyway. I managed to find a fairly comfortable pair of heels for $20 in my size, so I'm good to go. Formal dining night, here I come!
Ah, now to actually pack.
First on my list were hose and shoes that would be appropriate for a formal dining experience. The cruise we're taking has two formal nights in the dining room, and we thought it might be fun to go to at least one of them. I so rarely dress up that I am quite unequipped for this. I have a rather awful little black polyester crepe cocktail dress that I bought a few years ago at Ross and have only worn once. It's pretty plain, and looks equally frumpy whether I'm 20 lbs. up or down. It does, however, fit pretty comfortably, it was under $15. Oh, and it is hand washable. Score one for me. I managed to find some hose at Target that I think will be OK...I hate the feel of pantyhose so I get the very largest ones they have, hoping I can swim in them. I did not find shoes at Target. In fact I discovered that Target's shoe section may very well be one of the planes of Hell that Dante didn't get to. The Target I frequent is usually pretty well tended and kept nice in spite of people who fling rejected items off into aisles or leave things on the wrong shelves. The shoe section appeared to be a no-man's land, however. Discarded shoes littered the walk ways. Nothing was in order of size or style, nothing was in the correct box or stocked by the right price card, and the styles there were some of the most hideous creations of shoe-making elves I've ever witnessed.
And so I moved on to other areas and picked up sun screen and a very cute little evening clutch (hauling my leather backpack purse to the dining room on formal night seemed gauche). The second item on my shopping list was pants...something comfortable, but appropriate for "business casual" attire, as jeans and shorts are apparently right out for dining rooms on the cruise. I gleefully discovered that Target is again carrying linen pants! I scored two pairs of linen pants, both of which fit loosely and comfortably (I bought a size larger than I usually do, since my ass has been spreading like the floor of the ocean - slowly but surely). I tried on a variety of tops that all plunged well below my bra line (tacky!) while simultaneously making my shoulders look even more like a linebacker's than usual. Nice. Those were returned to the rack.
Accepting my small victory in the pants-finding expedition, I checked out and went next door to Payless shoes. It's been years since I wandered into a Payless, and I wasn't nearly as horrified as I anticipated. I actually found my size, which is pretty rare, especially when it comes to dress shoes or heels. I'm a 9 1/2 wide. I usually just buy men's size 8 in sneakers or hiking boots, but since most stores don't carry heels for drag queens, I am always out of luck on purchasing fancy shoes. I usually have to buy 10, which is often too long, while being too narrow anyway. I managed to find a fairly comfortable pair of heels for $20 in my size, so I'm good to go. Formal dining night, here I come!
Ah, now to actually pack.