Angst.
But this has nothing to do with what I've talked about in my last entrance. For that I've gotten some other ideas.
This is a short piece which comes up voluntarily today. Don't take it too seriously, just my nasty fantasy. And very roughly written. Actually I don't like it but I can't find a way to make it better. (I hate to write in English! Arrrgh!)
Notes: 1. Acheron is the name of a river, the river of pain.
2. If you're familiar with the lyrics of Led Zeppelin you may see the references here. I steal them intendedly.
3. Selena is the Goddess of moon from the ancient world.
He knew he was dreaming again.
He had had this dream for many times, then found himself waking up alone in the midnight, cheeks wet from tears and there was a deep ache in his chest.
But he could never remember what he had dreamt of.
He only knew the beginning was always the same. He was sitting alone by the river, there was no sky upon him, and no ground under, only white sand and little stones on the shore. The light was dim and it was so quiet around he could hear the water flowing. White damps rose from the river in front of him.
Then he would see a figure on the other shore, the one he had wanted for his whole life.
But all he could do was to sit there quietly, til the other one disappeared again.
He didn't know if it would be different this time.
He heard some unusual rustling when he was deep in his own thoughts. Something or someone was moving through the water.
He looked up to see Robert, who was standing in front of him and smiling. The Water just reached his waist.
His white robe was all wet, some waterdrops were caught in his golden curls. His cheeks were so pale just like the petals of a lily, his lips looked almost purple, he must be frozen, but he kept smiling.
Jimmy wanted to say something but he couldn't, it was like something got stuck in his throat. He wanted to touch the so familiar yet estranged body, but he couldn't move a finger.
All he could is to stare at him, with so much eagerness and desire.
His opponent seemed to understand. His hand reached out and touched Jimmy's cheek so lightly.
Cold, icy cold, Jimmy couldn't help but shuddered a bit.
Why? He was always warm, much warmer than myself. Jimmy used to love the warmth in those deep nights. How many times had they fallen sleep together in each other's arms? Warm breath, comfortness and a little bit sweet wetness.
Wet? Oh yes, his hands were wet now, too. Smelled like the cold river water.
Then Robert began to spoke.
He was standing in front of him yet it sounded like he was miles away.
His voice was crystal clear:"Jimmy, love, I've come to say goodbye."
Jimmy blinked, he heard every word, but together they made no sense.
Those long and strong fingers cupped his chin, they were now looking into each other's eyes.
Robert just continued:"You know, I have been waiting for you, every day I waited there at the riverside．But you never came, you never spoke to me. Now it's time, and I have to go."
His eyes were gleaming and his face glowing: "Ah, don't you hear it calling? They are calling me back home and I really got to ramble."
Jimmy was shaking, he surely knew these words. He tried hard but could not hear anything else. He wanted to catch Robert's hands but he just couldn't. His throat was burning and there was something hot welling up in his eyes.
The cold fingers moved from his cheeks to shoulders and squeezed lightly:"Don't cry, baby, please don't cry. Just a while, then you won't remember anything."
This time Jimmy heard it too, the horn in the wind. Robert stood straight and gave him a last smile before turned back into the fog.
Like a spell was suddenly removed, now he could move and speak. He stood up with a rush and screamed at the disappearing golden statue:"You said it...didn't you said you wanted to spend the last few weeks with me? In the Atlas mountains, don't you...remember?"
It was so quiet, all he could hearing now was his pulse rushing behind the eardrum, his heart pounding in his chest with such intensity and his burning tears falling on the cobblestones.
How long did it last?
Til he heard some people chuckle and the laughter became louder and louder, the sirens were singing and a pipe was blown, buried under all the sounds he caught the answer with that beloved tender voice:"Silly boy. I'm sorry that I lied, so sorry."
There came the light shining through the fog and the water, everything was melting, warping, ablating, blown away by the warm breeze.
The riverbank under his feet disappeared and he fell, only found himself lying in his warm bed.
He sat up and looked out of the window, the moon was big and bright and lonely, no stars for her company.
He prayed silently to the Goddess Selena, may her power help him to remember again.