(no subject)
i feel strange. pensive, like maybe i've just done a time warp of sorts. or woken up from a very odd dream. i want to move forward, it's almost like i've forgotten how. like i slipped down the rabbit-hole and wound up walking on the ceilings of my past...going through the motions of being my former self.
i barely recognize myself. it's not my fault it just is. i've gotten quiet. when i was young i was quiet. i was quiet because i was dissapointed. i'm tired of being dissapointed and i can't afford to be quiet. there's a difference between stillness and living in your head.
i feel angry for allowing this to happen. this iscolation, how did i get back here? all that work and here i am? i can't afford to get stuck on that. i just have to let it go. i need to let a lot of things go...and then i need to fight for them next time around. i've forgotten what it looks like to be me.
i barely recognize myself. it's not my fault it just is. i've gotten quiet. when i was young i was quiet. i was quiet because i was dissapointed. i'm tired of being dissapointed and i can't afford to be quiet. there's a difference between stillness and living in your head.
i feel angry for allowing this to happen. this iscolation, how did i get back here? all that work and here i am? i can't afford to get stuck on that. i just have to let it go. i need to let a lot of things go...and then i need to fight for them next time around. i've forgotten what it looks like to be me.