little plastic castle...
ugh i feel as though i have little fishes swimming round circles inside my head creating tiny tornadoes. there are lots of these fishes and occasionally they collide...causing the tornadoes to spin out of control, making me dizzy.
they fishes are small and silver excepting a few gold mollies. the mollies don't circle they maybe just sit there as they are large and have blank expressions. sometimes they spin, propelled by a neighboring tornado.
welcome to allergy season and the glory of springtime.
i think i'm going to go to seattle. i'm going to visit my sister. i have an older sister. most people even those who know me would not know, or will have forgotten this fact. i think it would be very good to visit her. we seem so much a like she and i and i always feel that we each get a lot out of our visits. when they happen, on average once a decade. i think it will be healthy for each of us to compare notes on how we've handled our father...and if she'll hear it i'd like her to know how much my mother loves her. PLUS... i need to see seattle as i kinda think maybe i love it there. and since i'm more or less homeless [gross exaggeration] since i am not tied to any particular living arrangement, it's always good to explore one's options.
doctor prescribed thyroid treatment based on my labs which i've not yet seen. i need to do some research on the levels and meds as i currently know nothing. i am feeling better though despite the fishy invasion and brain tornadoes.
i'm going to the zoo,to see the monkeys with [my] monkey. it's a thought which makes me smile.
carolyn has been keeping me in check and combating my affinities for sabotage. we'll see if it works.
i took a stroll down memory lane yesterday with that boy from my past who i used to call on the phone. i showed him a post i'd written in 2002 and it made his day. we were candid and affectionate. it got me thinking about the future.
i also sent b a post from the same time one where i compared him to the little prince, he was surprised that i called him that as i'm not the first to draw the comparison. i told him that that was our story kinda fucked up and magical...and that anyone who is sane could see him as being a fussy little boy from outer space. he was touched as well.
things are gonna be ok. i'm stressed over classes and frustrated by my apathy and tiredness. but things are still getting better. much much better.
