super indulgent rant about the boring details of my life: at least i warned you.
why spend money i don't have on food i'm either unwilling or unable to eat? because it smells good and makes me feel normal. i'm seriously not gonna make this a place where all i do is bitch about not feeling well, that's not even why i started this post. the important thing is that i'm out and determined to get the things done that i need to do and i am... as mrs. g would say "putting thurs. on the shelf" i don't know why i'm making such a big deal about the whole thing anyway...i'm so f***ing melodramatic. i just hate doctors, and though i've never really had to take any i hate their tests. i get freaked waiting for a damned step culture to come back. maybe that's why i've lived with a golf ball in my throat for 3 yrs. you like how i say i'm not going to complain and then proceed to do just that? yup, that's how i roll. lol. in short i feel stupid, because i'm scared and i know i have no reason to be and that doesn't take it away one bit.
before i just didn't talk about it so like it wasn't real...because i talk about EVERYTHING in my life. i might delete this f***ing post anyway. i'm seriously not throwing myself a pity party because i'm neurotic and have irrational fears of incompetent people in positions of authority. i really must have better things to think about so today is MONDAY and there will be no more mention of golfballs or sleepiness until THURSDAY. [PS- I REALLY JUST SNOTTED ON MYSELF IN PUBLIC.] what a mess i am.
IN THE MEAN TIME: i have at least 2 papers to write, 2 mammoth hmwk assignments [the 6-8 hr kind], i have to get insurance on my car, re-register it, make some phone calls, visit museums/do research for my papers, update my resume, empty my truck and give half of the stuff i brought to fairfax to value village, and study for finals.
so it's a big week. i left out go to the doctor and my phone interview with the VEC. so there's no time for worrying only time for doing. i'm so blessed and lucky to have a roof over my head and access to a doctor, and mrs. g to yell at me and keep me in line by saying things like because i said so that's why. lol.
i'm gonna call my mumma and then get to work. everything will be ok. i don't think anyone expects perfection from me right now, so it's just like one foot in front of the other...that's all you can do.
before i just didn't talk about it so like it wasn't real...because i talk about EVERYTHING in my life. i might delete this f***ing post anyway. i'm seriously not throwing myself a pity party because i'm neurotic and have irrational fears of incompetent people in positions of authority. i really must have better things to think about so today is MONDAY and there will be no more mention of golfballs or sleepiness until THURSDAY. [PS- I REALLY JUST SNOTTED ON MYSELF IN PUBLIC.] what a mess i am.
IN THE MEAN TIME: i have at least 2 papers to write, 2 mammoth hmwk assignments [the 6-8 hr kind], i have to get insurance on my car, re-register it, make some phone calls, visit museums/do research for my papers, update my resume, empty my truck and give half of the stuff i brought to fairfax to value village, and study for finals.
so it's a big week. i left out go to the doctor and my phone interview with the VEC. so there's no time for worrying only time for doing. i'm so blessed and lucky to have a roof over my head and access to a doctor, and mrs. g to yell at me and keep me in line by saying things like because i said so that's why. lol.
i'm gonna call my mumma and then get to work. everything will be ok. i don't think anyone expects perfection from me right now, so it's just like one foot in front of the other...that's all you can do.