All My Instincts 3/5
Title: All My Instincts 3/5
Pairing/Characters: Kurt and Blaine
Genre: Romance
Rating: PG-13, R or Light NC-17 in final chapter
Summary: Anderberry Siblings Universe - In which Blaine and Rachel are siblings, Hiram and Leroy are their dads, and Kurt does not expect that meeting Rachel's younger brother will challenge what he knows to be true about being gay in highschool in Lima, Ohio.
Word Count: This Chapter is 6000 words of sweet. Like fresh maple syrup - may cause cavities.
A/N: I loved this creative fandom trope when it first came out, there were amazing GIF's, and a few fics, but I wanted something longer and lingering...about the Blaine and Kurt in this universe meeting and falling and the nervous, excited build up of boy-meets-boy.
And I know fandom and our love of all things NC-17. This story is about the build-up, and the shifting energy, and the connection. There will be lots of tension and sexuality, but I have to keep it real to these fumbling 16 and 17 year old sophomore and junior Blaine and Kurt.
I am very lucky to have two intelligent, appropriately critical, and creative betas for this story. Thank you both so much buckeyegrrl and wowbright
Reviews are my warm milk at bedtime.
And feel free to follow me on tumblr - gleekto@tumblr.com - we can play together!
Apparently Dalton Academy has a fall formal. Kurt knows this because Blaine keeps talking about it. He’s talking about it because if he wants to go, which he does- “Of course I want to go, Kurt. Mandatory bowties, dancing, and a chance to perform with the Warblers. It’s going to be the best.”- he needs a date. And no, Blaine does not want to go with a girl from Crawford again. And yes, Blaine would like to go to a dance with a boy for a change. “And yeah, so Wes tells me that his younger brother, Jon, told him that Simon- you know that gay freshman guy I told you about?” Kurt nods, “wants to go with me.”
Kurt feels his heart sink as he sits on Blaine’s bed, pretending to be distracted by the Vogue he’s already read through, twice. It’s not like he’s been thinking about Blaine taking him to the dance. He really hasn’t. He didn’t even know there was such thing as a fall formal until Blaine casually mentioned it last week. And then he just assumed Blaine would take some female friend from Crawford or his old school, or something. It hadn’t even occurred to him that Blaine would be allowed to take a guy. But he is. And he wants to. And Kurt can’t really blame him for that. So Simon. The freshman. Who wants to go with Blaine.
“That’s good, right?” Kurt is trying so hard to be a friend here. And he thinks he’s succeeding.
“It is?” Blaine looks questioningly at Kurt for a second then quickly answers, “Yeah. Yes. I mean, yes, it’s flattering. Of course. It’s nice that he wants to go with me-”
“Am I sensing a but?” And Kurt only says that because he’s sure he’s hearing it.
“But,” Blaine smiles thankfully at Kurt, “He’s not my type. At least I don’ t think he’s my type. I don’t know. He’s a nice guy, friendly, kind of cute, I guess,” Blaine is looking for some kind of guidance. And Kurt is just hoping he doesn’t have BLAINE ANDERSON BERRY I HAVE A CRUSH ON YOU plastered on his forehead. So far, so good. “But I don’t feel like I want to go with him,” Blaine pauses, looking right into Kurt’s eyes, “I don’t,” and he sounds more sure of himself now. Blaine keeps eye contact with him, and Kurt feels like he has to look away for a second.
“Okay.” Nonchalant. Kurt is nonchalant.
“You know,” Blaine says emphatically now, “no one would expect any of the other guys to go with a girl just because she’s a girl. It’s not like I’m going to like the first gay guy who’s interested in me.”
Kurt sighs. His heart falls because of course Blaine is right. Why should he like one of the three gay guys he knows. He tries to hide his disappointment, “Of course not. You don’t have to like him just because he’s gay,” he says half-heartedly, not sure whether to be happy or sad. Because somehow he feels like he must be included in that statement.
“Exactly,” Blaine nods, seeming to make up his mind. “At least there’s someone who understands.” He winks with a small smile.
...
Okay, Rachel, I’ll see you tomorrow... and Rachel, I’m happy for you,” Kurt sighs and he presses end on the phone just as he hears a knock on his door.
“Hey dude. Can I come in?” Finn is standing sheepishly in his doorway and Kurt eyes him suspiciously.
“I just got off the phone with Rachel, you know? Like just this second?”
“I know,” Finn smiles betraying his secret, “I’ve been kind of waiting for you to get off.”
“You have?”
“Yeah. I mean she told you, right?”
“Told me what?” Kurt feigns ignorance.
“Come on, Kurt. You’re her best friend. I know she told you that I asked her out.” This was new. Finn Hudson had just come to his room. To talk. About a girl.
“She may have said something,” Kurt admits, revealing as little as possible because he’s still unsure of what exactly Finn is doing here. “Saturday night, right?”
“Yeah,” Finn smiles from ear to ear, stepping into the room, “I’m happy,” and Kurt has definitely never seen Finn like this before, “I mean as long as she’s happy. She’s happy, right?”
Kurt’s still wary, “Why are you asking me? You’re the one who asked her.”
“You talk to her about this stuff, okay? And you’re generally a good judge of these things anyway, so throw me a crumb here ... or a bone ... or whatever,” Finn plops himself into Kurt’s desk chair, sitting in it backwards, clearly waiting for Kurt to say something.
“Well, then,” Kurt smiles at Finn, warming up, “if I am judging, I would say that yes, she is definitely happy, Finn. Actually, she’s wanted you to ask her out for a while.” Finn is grinning at him with a goofy grin. And amazingly, Kurt feels like the conversation may just be starting because Finn is not making a move to go anywhere.
“Yes!” Finn pumps his fist. “I knew it.” Kurt’s eyes go wide and he bites his tongue because wow, Finn. Rachel is about as subtle as a has-been actress’ red-sequined dress on Oscar night.
“So maybe after we go on a few dates - I mean if she likes me and wants to go out on more than one date, of course - maybe you and Blaine could go out and we could double date.” Finn’s face is guilty and sweet and Kurt’s face goes white.
“Me and Blaine, what?” Kurt isn’t sure whether to be annoyed, exasperated, or - if he's willing to admit it to himself - excited. “Rachel put you up to this, didn’t she? She's being ridiculous, Finn. And unlike me,” he whispers under his breath, “she clearly doesn’t know how to keep her mouth shut. There is nothing going on between ‘me and Blaine’. Nothing. We’re just friends-”
“But you like him, right? And Rachel thinks he likes you. So-”
“There is nothing going on. This is crazy, Finn. And wait. Why am I talking to you about this?”
“Because I’m your brother.” Finn looks at him seriously now, more sure of himself than Kurt’s heard in this conversation. “I think it’d be cool if, you know, we could talk sometimes. Like I don’t care if you’re gay or whatever. I told Rachel that we like don’t really talk about real stuff and she asked why and like, I didn’t know. But it’d be cool, y’know?”
“And I happen to be best friends with the girl you like,” Kurt smirks, but without any sting.
“That too,” Finn chuckles, “So you like him, right? And I’ll just say that I am much better at keeping a secret than Rachel. So don’t worry. This is just between bros.”
Kurt really doesn't know who he is looking at - the person twirling childishly in Kurt's desk chair is the same dopey, oversized, kind of oafy-kind of hot, football-playing stepbrother as he was yesterday. But he's different, too. Kurt feels for the first time that Finn has outsmarted him - because he always assumed that Finn would never talk to him about this kind of stuff, too weirded out by gayness in general, let alone the idea of his brother with another guy. But as it turns out, he’s wrong. Finn wants to talk to him. He wants to double date. Bros.
“Seriously, Finn? I can trust you not to talk to Rachel?”
Finn nods.
Kurt takes a deep breath, “Then, yes. I maybe kind of like Blaine. But he doesn’t like me in that way - so really, that’s the end of the short, sad story.” Kurt is trying for humorous self-deprecation, but he’s not sure he’s succeeding. “In fact, there's a fall formal at Dalton on the same night you’re taking out his sister, and his biggest problem is rejecting the poor gay freshman at Dalton who's crushing out on him.”
“So? That’s good, right?”
“No, Finn, that’s not good. Blaine doesn't want to go for one of the first gay guys who cross his path just because he’s gay. He hasn't even thought about taking me. He doesn't think of me that way,” Kurt’s frustration is overshadowed by how relieved he feels to actually be talking to someone about this. Because there are some things that you just can’t talk to Rachel about. Like, for example, her brother.
“That’s not what Rachel thinks,” Finn eyes him and Kurt looks confused, “She thinks you two are both too scared to admit that you like each other.” Finn’s face is plastered with a goofy grin and he just looks so pleased with himself.
“He doesn’t like me, Finn. Trust me. Leave it, okay?”
“Okay bro. I’m just sayin’, sometimes you’re not the best judge of things when they’re right in front of your face. Anyway, where should I take Rachel?”
And Kurt wonders to himself where his dumb-jock, guy's-guy brother went, and who replaced him with the wise old man in disguise.
...
It’s Monday evening. Their French homework is done, and Kurt and Rachel are sipping tea in the Hudson-Hummel kitchen while waiting for her dad to pick her up. Rachel cannot stop talking about Finn and her upcoming date with him on Saturday night.
“You’ll come over to help me choose an outfit, right? I want to look sexy, yet sophisticated. Not trashy.” She’s bubbling.
“Of course, Rachel. Of course I’ll help you. Your house, Saturday evening, five o’clock. I’ll be there.” Kurt sighs, realizing that he might also be helping her younger brother strike the same balance for his Dalton date. Not that hard, he mused to himself.
“Kurt? Rachel?” they hear a knock and the front door creaks open, and a voice that is definitely not her one of her dads startles Kurt out of his sulk.
“Blaine?” Kurt stands and walks into the hallway to a flushed and excited Blaine in his Dalton uniform.
“My dads said I could come pick her up.” He’s beaming. “I got my driver's license!” Kurt laughs because Blaine is so pleased with himself.
“It's quite a privilege to chauffeur your big sister around. Lucky you.” Kurt smiles. He can’t help it. Blaine is in front of him. At his house. Rachel’s gathering her school stuff from Kurt’s room upstairs, leaving them by the door themselves.
“Yeah, well-” Blaine smiles back but doesn’t continue. There seems to be more there but neither of them says anything. Blaine looks down. Kurt digs his toes into the carpet, fidgeting.
“So did you make up your mind about the dance... about Simon?” The silence was obviously getting too awkward because somehow that sentence managed to come out of his mouth.
Blaine looks up at him, surprised and - what? Relieved, Kurt thinks. “Yeah,” Blaine answers, “I think he’s too scared to ask me,” he looks a bit embarrassed, “and I’m not going to ask him, despite the pressure. I’ve been talking to him about this other guy I like instead. Hope he can take a hint.” Blaine looks down, away, anywhere but in Kurt’s eyes. “I’m a coward, I know. I should be able to just say that I don’t feel that way about him, but I don’t know, this is somehow easier.”
Kurt feels his heart racing, and his palms are getting sweaty. Gross. “Well, there is such a thing as trying to let someone down easy,” Kurt reassures him. “Call it compassionate.” Blaine smiles at him, rolling his eyes. “Besides, a little white lie never hurt anyone, right?”
“White lie?” Blaine looks confused.
“Yeah, a guy you like-unless there’s yet another Dalton hottie you’re not telling me about.” Kurt's deflecting. He’s not sure he can admit to himself what he’s hoping.
“Dalton hottie? No.” Blaine looks at him questioningly. “But yeah, I guess a little white lie doesn’t risk too much.” He shrugs and Kurt thinks that he almost looks disappointed.
But then Rachel is there, smiling stupidly at the two of them and making it so uncomfortable, “Are you talking about the Dalton dance, boys?” Kurt knows she doesn’t mean to make things worse, but Kurt really, really wishes she’d go away.
“Blaine was just telling me the woes of being hotly pursued-” Kurt says. Blaine chuckles.
“By someone I’m not interested in,” he counters. He pauses for a beat, then turns to his sister. “Anyway, Rachel. Let’s go. Our dads are waiting for me to bring back the car in one piece.” Blaine looks at Kurt and takes a deep breath almost apologetically. “See ya, Kurt.”
“Yeah. See you guys.”
Kurt watches them leave and sighs to himself, dragging his feet upstairs to finish his math homework. He puts Lady Gaga on shuffle, but winces when Boys, Boys, Boys comes on first. Not now. He quickly forwards to Paparazzi.
...
Thirty minutes later, Kurt’s in the middle of graphing a particularly annoying function when the doorbell rings. He hears his dad grumble about solicitors being so inconsiderate these days coming by late in the evening.
“Kurt? Can you get that? We’re already in bed.” He hears Carole’s voice down the hall. Because yeah. It’s nine o’clock on a weeknight and who drops by unexpectedly so late?
“Got it,” Kurt walks down the stairs hoping whoever it is will have decided they’re not home by the time he gets there. No such luck. The person knocks this time, and he opens the door, a ‘no thank you, not this time,’ ready on his lips, when he sees the familiar mop of curly hair. Blaine's hands are in his pockets, and he's rocking back and forth on his heels.
“Blaine? What are you doing here?” Kurt is baffled. They look at each other silently for a second and Kurt peers around him and there is no Rachel in sight. “I’m pretty sure you didn’t forget Rachel,” Kurt teases.
“No,” Blaine laughs, “In fact, I made sure to leave her at home this time” he confesses. “I came back to talk to you.” Blaine is standing in the doorway, shuffling from foot to foot. He takes his hands out of his pockets and folds them together, then puts them back in.
“Okay?” Kurt tries to look him in the eyes, but Blaine's eyes just keep wandering everywhere.
Blaine takes a deep breath and finally stares right back, “I don’t want to go to the dance with Simon because there’s someone else I want to go with.” Blaine pauses and Kurt’s heart is pounding. A nervous giggle slips out of Kurt’s mouth before he can hold it in.
“Do you want to come ins-”
“Wait. No. I’m trying to not be a coward here.” Blaine laughs and Kurt’s lip curls up into a half smile, “I don’t want to go to the dance with Simon because,” he breathes, “I want to go to the dance with you.” Blaine pauses for a very long second. “Kurt. If you want to, I mean.” He smiles nervously. Hopefully. “I would like to go with you. Will you go to the dance with me?” Blaine closes his eyes for a second and re-opens them and now Kurt is definitely, definitely smiling right at Blaine.
“I thought you’d never ask,” Kurt answers breathily.
“So that’s a yes?”
“Yes, silly. Of course.” Kurt shakes his head in disbelief. “ I would love to.”
Blaine finally relaxes and his eyes are sparkling, “So I guess that not being a coward has its perks, huh?”
Blaine is still shuffling on his feet, bouncing a bit and smiling shyly at Kurt. The silence between them isn’t awkward, but it’s charged somehow. Kurt finally breaks the tension and giggles, “You can come in, you know. You don’t have to just stand in my doorway.”
“No, no, really. I need to get home, actually. I really just came to-you know, to ask you.” Blaine looks down again, shaking his head in disbelief. “You know I’ve never asked a guy to a dance before.”
Two beats pass between them and Kurt just looks at him and smiles widely, “Mission accomplished, then.” Kurt bites his lower lip. “And no one has ever asked me to go to a dance before... or at least no one that counted. I did go with Mercedes to the spring fling last year, but, you know-”
“Not the same,” Blaine finishes.
“Not the same,” Kurt agrees. They stand there looking at each other nervously and Kurt wishes he could bottle this moment. This feeling that he didn’t know he’d been waiting for.
“Can I hug you, or something?” Blaine’s cheeks blush furiously. “I feel like I should hug you.” Blaine can’t seem to stop talking but maybe that’s a good thing tonight.
Kurt shakes his head but reaches his arms out. Blaine rests his head tentatively on Kurt’s shoulder, their arms wrapped around each other so lightly.
The hug is the opposite of confident. It’s unsure and awkward. It’s perfect.
....
The school week passes by both too quickly and not quickly enough. Kurt is excited, but he's trying to contain it. He can’t wait to see Blaine, can’t wait to go to the formal with Blaine- with Blaine, to dance with Blaine-Are they going to dance together? Two guys? Does Blaine even want to? Kurt also knows not to let his head go there. It’s just a dance. He went to a dance with Mercedes last year. It doesn’t mean anything.
But try telling Finn and Rachel any of that.
Finn, unfortunately, stumbles into his room while he’s trying to choose a suit to best match Blaine’s special black formal Dalton uniform. You’d think they could let loose a little and wear a jacket without red piping, but no. Warblers will be Warblers. And they come in uniform- but black, instead of navy, with red piping for formal occasions.
“You did it, dude,” Finn is all smiles.
Kurt looks up. “Did what?”
“The dance. You’re going with Blaine. It’s awesome,” Finn is beaming. Kurt frowns.
“I didn’t do anything. It’s just a dance. He needed a date. We’re both gay-” and Kurt is getting much better at saying that “-so there you go.”
“Yeah, right. And I’m going out with Rachel because we’re both straight,” Finn retorts smugly.
Kurt rolls his eyes, “So not the same thing. Now can you stop? And go please. I’m busy.”
“So the same thing, Kurt.”
“We’re going to a dance, Finn. It doesn’t mean anything.”
Finn raises his eyebrows skeptically, “And that’s why you’re spending an hour choosing an outfit.” He smirks and turns to leave Kurt’s room.
“I always spend an hour choosing my outfits,” Kurt huffs. “It doesn’t mean anything.” But Finn’s already gone and Kurt’s not sure exactly who it is he’s trying to convince.
...
He’s tying his tie in Rachel’s room, six o’clock on Saturday evening, Rachel’s sexy-yet-sophisticated outfit laid out for her on her bed, make up done.
“Kurt,” she admires his suit and smiles warmly at him, “you look so handsome. And you and Blaine are going to have the best time together.” Kurt manages a smile at her sincerity while his stomach does a back flip. “I can’t believe it. My baby brother is finally going to a dance with a boy. And it’s you. It’s just so-” She’s wistful, “Perfect.”
“Rachel,” Kurt warns. “It’s just a dance. It doesn’t mean anything.” It’s a mantra he’s been repeating again and again and again.
And right now Kurt is just hoping that it’s not awkward. It’s never been awkward with Blaine. In fact, they usually can’t stop talking. But earlier today, when they accidentally ran in to each other as Blaine rushed in from the soccer tournament, sweaty and gorgeous, they both froze.
“Hi Kurt,” Blaine’s eyes were warm but he was blushing. And quiet.
“Hi,” Kurt smiled at him but he was also quiet. Why are things weird?
“I’m umm... going up to shower.” Blaine chuckled. “For tonight, you know. Thought you’d appreciate it if I showered first.”
“Yeah,” Kurt smiled and looked at his feet, then back up again. “That’d probably be best, I think.”
“Trust me, you don’t want to go to a dance with me fresh out of a soccer game.”
“You'd better go shower then.” Blaine went. Kurt didn't tell Blaine that he was wrong, because Kurt would have no problem going to a dance with Blaine ever, soccer sweat or not.
...
Buttons buttoned, black and red silk tie tied, Kurt walks downstairs.
“He’s coming!” Rachel yells excitedly down from the top of the stairs, clapping her hands.
“Oh my god, Rachel.” She’s just making him more nervous, but he can’t be mad, because now Blaine has gotten up from the living room couch and is standing at the bottom of the stairs, eyes beaming up at Kurt on his way down.
“Kurt. Wow. You look-” Blaine looks down at his feet, shaking his head, biting his tongue, “just-” Kurt gives him a shy half-smile. Chatterbox Blaine is tongue tied. “Wow.”
“To match you-” and Kurt points to his red and black tie. Blaine looks confused for a second. “Red and black?”
“Right. Wait. That reminds me-” Blaine scampers into the kitchen and is back by the time Kurt is down the stairs. He smiles proudly, holding out a clear plastic container with a red rose boutonniere inside. The same exact one he has pinned to his Dalton blazer. “This is for you.”
Kurt doesn’t know what to say. He opens the box and Blaine takes out the boutonniere, holding it up to Kurt’s jacket, “May I?” Kurt smiles at him, quietly watching Blaine’s slightly shaky hands pin the flower to his lapel.
“We’re going to match?” Kurt asks rhetorically.
“We’re going to match.”
“Blaine! Kurt!” It’s Blaine’s dads.
“Don’t even think about opening that door until we get a picture. ”
“Dads,” Blaine whines. He looks slightly mortified, but Kurt is slightly amused. He tilts his head, gesturing Blaine to pose beside him.
“Sorry,” Blaine whispers to him as he scooches in beside him, sliding an arm comfortably around Kurt’s waist.
“Don’t be,” Kurt whispers back, slipping an arm around Blaine as they talk through their squinty smiles at the bright flash. “I’m not.”
“Look at you. Just look at you.” Hiram is beaming. “My son and his date. I feel like I’ve been waiting for this day-”
“Oh my god, stop, Dad. Let’s go, Kurt-” and Blaine quickly grabs his hand, pulling him out the door.
...
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Pairing/Characters: Kurt and Blaine
Genre: Romance
Rating: PG-13, R or Light NC-17 in final chapter
Summary: Anderberry Siblings Universe - In which Blaine and Rachel are siblings, Hiram and Leroy are their dads, and Kurt does not expect that meeting Rachel's younger brother will challenge what he knows to be true about being gay in highschool in Lima, Ohio.
Word Count: This Chapter is 6000 words of sweet. Like fresh maple syrup - may cause cavities.
A/N: I loved this creative fandom trope when it first came out, there were amazing GIF's, and a few fics, but I wanted something longer and lingering...about the Blaine and Kurt in this universe meeting and falling and the nervous, excited build up of boy-meets-boy.
And I know fandom and our love of all things NC-17. This story is about the build-up, and the shifting energy, and the connection. There will be lots of tension and sexuality, but I have to keep it real to these fumbling 16 and 17 year old sophomore and junior Blaine and Kurt.
I am very lucky to have two intelligent, appropriately critical, and creative betas for this story. Thank you both so much buckeyegrrl and wowbright
Reviews are my warm milk at bedtime.
And feel free to follow me on tumblr - gleekto@tumblr.com - we can play together!
Apparently Dalton Academy has a fall formal. Kurt knows this because Blaine keeps talking about it. He’s talking about it because if he wants to go, which he does- “Of course I want to go, Kurt. Mandatory bowties, dancing, and a chance to perform with the Warblers. It’s going to be the best.”- he needs a date. And no, Blaine does not want to go with a girl from Crawford again. And yes, Blaine would like to go to a dance with a boy for a change. “And yeah, so Wes tells me that his younger brother, Jon, told him that Simon- you know that gay freshman guy I told you about?” Kurt nods, “wants to go with me.”
Kurt feels his heart sink as he sits on Blaine’s bed, pretending to be distracted by the Vogue he’s already read through, twice. It’s not like he’s been thinking about Blaine taking him to the dance. He really hasn’t. He didn’t even know there was such thing as a fall formal until Blaine casually mentioned it last week. And then he just assumed Blaine would take some female friend from Crawford or his old school, or something. It hadn’t even occurred to him that Blaine would be allowed to take a guy. But he is. And he wants to. And Kurt can’t really blame him for that. So Simon. The freshman. Who wants to go with Blaine.
“That’s good, right?” Kurt is trying so hard to be a friend here. And he thinks he’s succeeding.
“It is?” Blaine looks questioningly at Kurt for a second then quickly answers, “Yeah. Yes. I mean, yes, it’s flattering. Of course. It’s nice that he wants to go with me-”
“Am I sensing a but?” And Kurt only says that because he’s sure he’s hearing it.
“But,” Blaine smiles thankfully at Kurt, “He’s not my type. At least I don’ t think he’s my type. I don’t know. He’s a nice guy, friendly, kind of cute, I guess,” Blaine is looking for some kind of guidance. And Kurt is just hoping he doesn’t have BLAINE ANDERSON BERRY I HAVE A CRUSH ON YOU plastered on his forehead. So far, so good. “But I don’t feel like I want to go with him,” Blaine pauses, looking right into Kurt’s eyes, “I don’t,” and he sounds more sure of himself now. Blaine keeps eye contact with him, and Kurt feels like he has to look away for a second.
“Okay.” Nonchalant. Kurt is nonchalant.
“You know,” Blaine says emphatically now, “no one would expect any of the other guys to go with a girl just because she’s a girl. It’s not like I’m going to like the first gay guy who’s interested in me.”
Kurt sighs. His heart falls because of course Blaine is right. Why should he like one of the three gay guys he knows. He tries to hide his disappointment, “Of course not. You don’t have to like him just because he’s gay,” he says half-heartedly, not sure whether to be happy or sad. Because somehow he feels like he must be included in that statement.
“Exactly,” Blaine nods, seeming to make up his mind. “At least there’s someone who understands.” He winks with a small smile.
...
Okay, Rachel, I’ll see you tomorrow... and Rachel, I’m happy for you,” Kurt sighs and he presses end on the phone just as he hears a knock on his door.
“Hey dude. Can I come in?” Finn is standing sheepishly in his doorway and Kurt eyes him suspiciously.
“I just got off the phone with Rachel, you know? Like just this second?”
“I know,” Finn smiles betraying his secret, “I’ve been kind of waiting for you to get off.”
“You have?”
“Yeah. I mean she told you, right?”
“Told me what?” Kurt feigns ignorance.
“Come on, Kurt. You’re her best friend. I know she told you that I asked her out.” This was new. Finn Hudson had just come to his room. To talk. About a girl.
“She may have said something,” Kurt admits, revealing as little as possible because he’s still unsure of what exactly Finn is doing here. “Saturday night, right?”
“Yeah,” Finn smiles from ear to ear, stepping into the room, “I’m happy,” and Kurt has definitely never seen Finn like this before, “I mean as long as she’s happy. She’s happy, right?”
Kurt’s still wary, “Why are you asking me? You’re the one who asked her.”
“You talk to her about this stuff, okay? And you’re generally a good judge of these things anyway, so throw me a crumb here ... or a bone ... or whatever,” Finn plops himself into Kurt’s desk chair, sitting in it backwards, clearly waiting for Kurt to say something.
“Well, then,” Kurt smiles at Finn, warming up, “if I am judging, I would say that yes, she is definitely happy, Finn. Actually, she’s wanted you to ask her out for a while.” Finn is grinning at him with a goofy grin. And amazingly, Kurt feels like the conversation may just be starting because Finn is not making a move to go anywhere.
“Yes!” Finn pumps his fist. “I knew it.” Kurt’s eyes go wide and he bites his tongue because wow, Finn. Rachel is about as subtle as a has-been actress’ red-sequined dress on Oscar night.
“So maybe after we go on a few dates - I mean if she likes me and wants to go out on more than one date, of course - maybe you and Blaine could go out and we could double date.” Finn’s face is guilty and sweet and Kurt’s face goes white.
“Me and Blaine, what?” Kurt isn’t sure whether to be annoyed, exasperated, or - if he's willing to admit it to himself - excited. “Rachel put you up to this, didn’t she? She's being ridiculous, Finn. And unlike me,” he whispers under his breath, “she clearly doesn’t know how to keep her mouth shut. There is nothing going on between ‘me and Blaine’. Nothing. We’re just friends-”
“But you like him, right? And Rachel thinks he likes you. So-”
“There is nothing going on. This is crazy, Finn. And wait. Why am I talking to you about this?”
“Because I’m your brother.” Finn looks at him seriously now, more sure of himself than Kurt’s heard in this conversation. “I think it’d be cool if, you know, we could talk sometimes. Like I don’t care if you’re gay or whatever. I told Rachel that we like don’t really talk about real stuff and she asked why and like, I didn’t know. But it’d be cool, y’know?”
“And I happen to be best friends with the girl you like,” Kurt smirks, but without any sting.
“That too,” Finn chuckles, “So you like him, right? And I’ll just say that I am much better at keeping a secret than Rachel. So don’t worry. This is just between bros.”
Kurt really doesn't know who he is looking at - the person twirling childishly in Kurt's desk chair is the same dopey, oversized, kind of oafy-kind of hot, football-playing stepbrother as he was yesterday. But he's different, too. Kurt feels for the first time that Finn has outsmarted him - because he always assumed that Finn would never talk to him about this kind of stuff, too weirded out by gayness in general, let alone the idea of his brother with another guy. But as it turns out, he’s wrong. Finn wants to talk to him. He wants to double date. Bros.
“Seriously, Finn? I can trust you not to talk to Rachel?”
Finn nods.
Kurt takes a deep breath, “Then, yes. I maybe kind of like Blaine. But he doesn’t like me in that way - so really, that’s the end of the short, sad story.” Kurt is trying for humorous self-deprecation, but he’s not sure he’s succeeding. “In fact, there's a fall formal at Dalton on the same night you’re taking out his sister, and his biggest problem is rejecting the poor gay freshman at Dalton who's crushing out on him.”
“So? That’s good, right?”
“No, Finn, that’s not good. Blaine doesn't want to go for one of the first gay guys who cross his path just because he’s gay. He hasn't even thought about taking me. He doesn't think of me that way,” Kurt’s frustration is overshadowed by how relieved he feels to actually be talking to someone about this. Because there are some things that you just can’t talk to Rachel about. Like, for example, her brother.
“That’s not what Rachel thinks,” Finn eyes him and Kurt looks confused, “She thinks you two are both too scared to admit that you like each other.” Finn’s face is plastered with a goofy grin and he just looks so pleased with himself.
“He doesn’t like me, Finn. Trust me. Leave it, okay?”
“Okay bro. I’m just sayin’, sometimes you’re not the best judge of things when they’re right in front of your face. Anyway, where should I take Rachel?”
And Kurt wonders to himself where his dumb-jock, guy's-guy brother went, and who replaced him with the wise old man in disguise.
...
It’s Monday evening. Their French homework is done, and Kurt and Rachel are sipping tea in the Hudson-Hummel kitchen while waiting for her dad to pick her up. Rachel cannot stop talking about Finn and her upcoming date with him on Saturday night.
“You’ll come over to help me choose an outfit, right? I want to look sexy, yet sophisticated. Not trashy.” She’s bubbling.
“Of course, Rachel. Of course I’ll help you. Your house, Saturday evening, five o’clock. I’ll be there.” Kurt sighs, realizing that he might also be helping her younger brother strike the same balance for his Dalton date. Not that hard, he mused to himself.
“Kurt? Rachel?” they hear a knock and the front door creaks open, and a voice that is definitely not her one of her dads startles Kurt out of his sulk.
“Blaine?” Kurt stands and walks into the hallway to a flushed and excited Blaine in his Dalton uniform.
“My dads said I could come pick her up.” He’s beaming. “I got my driver's license!” Kurt laughs because Blaine is so pleased with himself.
“It's quite a privilege to chauffeur your big sister around. Lucky you.” Kurt smiles. He can’t help it. Blaine is in front of him. At his house. Rachel’s gathering her school stuff from Kurt’s room upstairs, leaving them by the door themselves.
“Yeah, well-” Blaine smiles back but doesn’t continue. There seems to be more there but neither of them says anything. Blaine looks down. Kurt digs his toes into the carpet, fidgeting.
“So did you make up your mind about the dance... about Simon?” The silence was obviously getting too awkward because somehow that sentence managed to come out of his mouth.
Blaine looks up at him, surprised and - what? Relieved, Kurt thinks. “Yeah,” Blaine answers, “I think he’s too scared to ask me,” he looks a bit embarrassed, “and I’m not going to ask him, despite the pressure. I’ve been talking to him about this other guy I like instead. Hope he can take a hint.” Blaine looks down, away, anywhere but in Kurt’s eyes. “I’m a coward, I know. I should be able to just say that I don’t feel that way about him, but I don’t know, this is somehow easier.”
Kurt feels his heart racing, and his palms are getting sweaty. Gross. “Well, there is such a thing as trying to let someone down easy,” Kurt reassures him. “Call it compassionate.” Blaine smiles at him, rolling his eyes. “Besides, a little white lie never hurt anyone, right?”
“White lie?” Blaine looks confused.
“Yeah, a guy you like-unless there’s yet another Dalton hottie you’re not telling me about.” Kurt's deflecting. He’s not sure he can admit to himself what he’s hoping.
“Dalton hottie? No.” Blaine looks at him questioningly. “But yeah, I guess a little white lie doesn’t risk too much.” He shrugs and Kurt thinks that he almost looks disappointed.
But then Rachel is there, smiling stupidly at the two of them and making it so uncomfortable, “Are you talking about the Dalton dance, boys?” Kurt knows she doesn’t mean to make things worse, but Kurt really, really wishes she’d go away.
“Blaine was just telling me the woes of being hotly pursued-” Kurt says. Blaine chuckles.
“By someone I’m not interested in,” he counters. He pauses for a beat, then turns to his sister. “Anyway, Rachel. Let’s go. Our dads are waiting for me to bring back the car in one piece.” Blaine looks at Kurt and takes a deep breath almost apologetically. “See ya, Kurt.”
“Yeah. See you guys.”
Kurt watches them leave and sighs to himself, dragging his feet upstairs to finish his math homework. He puts Lady Gaga on shuffle, but winces when Boys, Boys, Boys comes on first. Not now. He quickly forwards to Paparazzi.
...
Thirty minutes later, Kurt’s in the middle of graphing a particularly annoying function when the doorbell rings. He hears his dad grumble about solicitors being so inconsiderate these days coming by late in the evening.
“Kurt? Can you get that? We’re already in bed.” He hears Carole’s voice down the hall. Because yeah. It’s nine o’clock on a weeknight and who drops by unexpectedly so late?
“Got it,” Kurt walks down the stairs hoping whoever it is will have decided they’re not home by the time he gets there. No such luck. The person knocks this time, and he opens the door, a ‘no thank you, not this time,’ ready on his lips, when he sees the familiar mop of curly hair. Blaine's hands are in his pockets, and he's rocking back and forth on his heels.
“Blaine? What are you doing here?” Kurt is baffled. They look at each other silently for a second and Kurt peers around him and there is no Rachel in sight. “I’m pretty sure you didn’t forget Rachel,” Kurt teases.
“No,” Blaine laughs, “In fact, I made sure to leave her at home this time” he confesses. “I came back to talk to you.” Blaine is standing in the doorway, shuffling from foot to foot. He takes his hands out of his pockets and folds them together, then puts them back in.
“Okay?” Kurt tries to look him in the eyes, but Blaine's eyes just keep wandering everywhere.
Blaine takes a deep breath and finally stares right back, “I don’t want to go to the dance with Simon because there’s someone else I want to go with.” Blaine pauses and Kurt’s heart is pounding. A nervous giggle slips out of Kurt’s mouth before he can hold it in.
“Do you want to come ins-”
“Wait. No. I’m trying to not be a coward here.” Blaine laughs and Kurt’s lip curls up into a half smile, “I don’t want to go to the dance with Simon because,” he breathes, “I want to go to the dance with you.” Blaine pauses for a very long second. “Kurt. If you want to, I mean.” He smiles nervously. Hopefully. “I would like to go with you. Will you go to the dance with me?” Blaine closes his eyes for a second and re-opens them and now Kurt is definitely, definitely smiling right at Blaine.
“I thought you’d never ask,” Kurt answers breathily.
“So that’s a yes?”
“Yes, silly. Of course.” Kurt shakes his head in disbelief. “ I would love to.”
Blaine finally relaxes and his eyes are sparkling, “So I guess that not being a coward has its perks, huh?”
Blaine is still shuffling on his feet, bouncing a bit and smiling shyly at Kurt. The silence between them isn’t awkward, but it’s charged somehow. Kurt finally breaks the tension and giggles, “You can come in, you know. You don’t have to just stand in my doorway.”
“No, no, really. I need to get home, actually. I really just came to-you know, to ask you.” Blaine looks down again, shaking his head in disbelief. “You know I’ve never asked a guy to a dance before.”
Two beats pass between them and Kurt just looks at him and smiles widely, “Mission accomplished, then.” Kurt bites his lower lip. “And no one has ever asked me to go to a dance before... or at least no one that counted. I did go with Mercedes to the spring fling last year, but, you know-”
“Not the same,” Blaine finishes.
“Not the same,” Kurt agrees. They stand there looking at each other nervously and Kurt wishes he could bottle this moment. This feeling that he didn’t know he’d been waiting for.
“Can I hug you, or something?” Blaine’s cheeks blush furiously. “I feel like I should hug you.” Blaine can’t seem to stop talking but maybe that’s a good thing tonight.
Kurt shakes his head but reaches his arms out. Blaine rests his head tentatively on Kurt’s shoulder, their arms wrapped around each other so lightly.
The hug is the opposite of confident. It’s unsure and awkward. It’s perfect.
....
The school week passes by both too quickly and not quickly enough. Kurt is excited, but he's trying to contain it. He can’t wait to see Blaine, can’t wait to go to the formal with Blaine- with Blaine, to dance with Blaine-Are they going to dance together? Two guys? Does Blaine even want to? Kurt also knows not to let his head go there. It’s just a dance. He went to a dance with Mercedes last year. It doesn’t mean anything.
But try telling Finn and Rachel any of that.
Finn, unfortunately, stumbles into his room while he’s trying to choose a suit to best match Blaine’s special black formal Dalton uniform. You’d think they could let loose a little and wear a jacket without red piping, but no. Warblers will be Warblers. And they come in uniform- but black, instead of navy, with red piping for formal occasions.
“You did it, dude,” Finn is all smiles.
Kurt looks up. “Did what?”
“The dance. You’re going with Blaine. It’s awesome,” Finn is beaming. Kurt frowns.
“I didn’t do anything. It’s just a dance. He needed a date. We’re both gay-” and Kurt is getting much better at saying that “-so there you go.”
“Yeah, right. And I’m going out with Rachel because we’re both straight,” Finn retorts smugly.
Kurt rolls his eyes, “So not the same thing. Now can you stop? And go please. I’m busy.”
“So the same thing, Kurt.”
“We’re going to a dance, Finn. It doesn’t mean anything.”
Finn raises his eyebrows skeptically, “And that’s why you’re spending an hour choosing an outfit.” He smirks and turns to leave Kurt’s room.
“I always spend an hour choosing my outfits,” Kurt huffs. “It doesn’t mean anything.” But Finn’s already gone and Kurt’s not sure exactly who it is he’s trying to convince.
...
He’s tying his tie in Rachel’s room, six o’clock on Saturday evening, Rachel’s sexy-yet-sophisticated outfit laid out for her on her bed, make up done.
“Kurt,” she admires his suit and smiles warmly at him, “you look so handsome. And you and Blaine are going to have the best time together.” Kurt manages a smile at her sincerity while his stomach does a back flip. “I can’t believe it. My baby brother is finally going to a dance with a boy. And it’s you. It’s just so-” She’s wistful, “Perfect.”
“Rachel,” Kurt warns. “It’s just a dance. It doesn’t mean anything.” It’s a mantra he’s been repeating again and again and again.
And right now Kurt is just hoping that it’s not awkward. It’s never been awkward with Blaine. In fact, they usually can’t stop talking. But earlier today, when they accidentally ran in to each other as Blaine rushed in from the soccer tournament, sweaty and gorgeous, they both froze.
“Hi Kurt,” Blaine’s eyes were warm but he was blushing. And quiet.
“Hi,” Kurt smiled at him but he was also quiet. Why are things weird?
“I’m umm... going up to shower.” Blaine chuckled. “For tonight, you know. Thought you’d appreciate it if I showered first.”
“Yeah,” Kurt smiled and looked at his feet, then back up again. “That’d probably be best, I think.”
“Trust me, you don’t want to go to a dance with me fresh out of a soccer game.”
“You'd better go shower then.” Blaine went. Kurt didn't tell Blaine that he was wrong, because Kurt would have no problem going to a dance with Blaine ever, soccer sweat or not.
...
Buttons buttoned, black and red silk tie tied, Kurt walks downstairs.
“He’s coming!” Rachel yells excitedly down from the top of the stairs, clapping her hands.
“Oh my god, Rachel.” She’s just making him more nervous, but he can’t be mad, because now Blaine has gotten up from the living room couch and is standing at the bottom of the stairs, eyes beaming up at Kurt on his way down.
“Kurt. Wow. You look-” Blaine looks down at his feet, shaking his head, biting his tongue, “just-” Kurt gives him a shy half-smile. Chatterbox Blaine is tongue tied. “Wow.”
“To match you-” and Kurt points to his red and black tie. Blaine looks confused for a second. “Red and black?”
“Right. Wait. That reminds me-” Blaine scampers into the kitchen and is back by the time Kurt is down the stairs. He smiles proudly, holding out a clear plastic container with a red rose boutonniere inside. The same exact one he has pinned to his Dalton blazer. “This is for you.”
Kurt doesn’t know what to say. He opens the box and Blaine takes out the boutonniere, holding it up to Kurt’s jacket, “May I?” Kurt smiles at him, quietly watching Blaine’s slightly shaky hands pin the flower to his lapel.
“We’re going to match?” Kurt asks rhetorically.
“We’re going to match.”
“Blaine! Kurt!” It’s Blaine’s dads.
“Don’t even think about opening that door until we get a picture. ”
“Dads,” Blaine whines. He looks slightly mortified, but Kurt is slightly amused. He tilts his head, gesturing Blaine to pose beside him.
“Sorry,” Blaine whispers to him as he scooches in beside him, sliding an arm comfortably around Kurt’s waist.
“Don’t be,” Kurt whispers back, slipping an arm around Blaine as they talk through their squinty smiles at the bright flash. “I’m not.”
“Look at you. Just look at you.” Hiram is beaming. “My son and his date. I feel like I’ve been waiting for this day-”
“Oh my god, stop, Dad. Let’s go, Kurt-” and Blaine quickly grabs his hand, pulling him out the door.
...
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