December 26, 2006
Saturday , Dec. 23, 2006
After all the mess the kids made with food and and wet clothing, I delegated tasks to each one and we got the house straitened up. After which they cried excitedly, "Where's our prize!? We did it! Where's our prize?" I pointed out that I hadn't promised them anything, but that didn't stop them from demanding candy and /or a card game with me. So I gave them gummy worms and we played "Go Fish". H was caught lying about not having a seven by A. I couldn't remember, so I called Ya to come check her hand. (Ya was busy reading the one Harry Potter book she has for about the 25th time.) We convinced H that it wasn't so awful to give up her seven. Later, when someone asked for something else we knew she had, she threw her cards down to the other side of the table in frustration. Ya saw them and took her to the side, giving her a pep talk and some coaching (probably dirty--I realize now). H ended up winning the game. Illustrating idiocy, I asked the boys if they wanted to continue playing, just us losers. They were delighted to do so. Then Ya apparently coached Y to ask A for a certain card and all heck broke out. Sigh. I thought, "How did my parents stand us kids?" because I know we were just as childish. It seemed awfully disappointing at the time, to have a good time ruined by bad behavior and bickering. Now I'm just glad I have my lovely kids. The time away at work is making me learn to let them bicker and get over it without letting them draw me into it as much as they used to.
Sunday, Dec. 24, 2006
COLD. I stayed in bed most of the day because the house was so cold. The gas had run out. In the evening I made myself get the kids ready for Jujitsu although I really didn't want to go anywhere, or be with other people. I ended up taking them in the car, driving home to clean the floor, then driving back to pick them up. They brought notices saying we could order Jujitsu outfits for 140 shekels. Not good timing, with the stupid gas stove just taking 850.
Monday, Dec. 25, 2006
I kept Ya home. She had gone to have her eyebrows and "mustache" waxed and her hair styled the evening before. She woke up early to get ready for school because she wanted everything to be "perfect". Which meant, in addition to wearing lip gloss that looked like it might inadvertently trap all innocent souls in a two kilometer radius in its shiny goopiness, refusing to where her school uniform or anything similar to it. When she said she would wear her uniform, but change into the clothes she wanted in the school bathroom, I stopped discussing it. I just got everyone else ready, but decided to have them go to the car quietly and leave her at home. I may have foiled her this time, but she's only thirteen. Aggg! I reminded her that next year she'll be in a school where she'll have more freedom to dress the way she wants, but she needs to conform to rules just like anyone else. I guess the kids have picked up this "rules apply to other people" attitude from their dad. It is a typical Israeli attitude from his generation. And it was probably instrumental in saving lives and getting the country on it's feet. Things have changed to a much more western frame of mind now, which is bringing a new stage of development to the country.
Which reminds me that I was driving through the village on my way to pick the kids up from school. A mini-van was standing at an angle in the main street, reason inapparent. Finally, I saw that they were waiting for a car on the opposite side of the street to pull out of a parking space. This eventually happened, and the mini-van pulled into the parking space. Now the car that had been parked there was in my lane, ahead of me. They had probably just ate a relaxing meal in a village restaurant and were busier picking their teeth with mint-flavored toothpicks than in thinking about the fact that other drivers on the road were intent on getting to their respective point Bs. They meandered up the road as a goose waddle and I noticed that I had another car behind me, but I was still feeling patient. As we approached the curve in the road between the upper and lower sections of the village, the car behind me decided to pass us both. "Let's see you crash," I muttered, imagining someone coming around the curve quickly. Then I noticed that it was my sister-in-law B's old car. Would she drive that way? She prides herself on being a cautious driver. But she is insane and a drug user. Still, I doubted it. Her younger brother? But he seems much more responsible since he has two tiny little girls of his own at home. At a further curve in the road up to K.Y. I saw that it appeared to be him. But I decided it was drugs driving and not a person. A father of two little girls wouldn't drive that way, right? I'm disappointed in him. But then... I got yelled at for making a California stop. Hey, there was no one else around, except the bus driver flying down the hill. If he hadn't been going so fast, he wouldn't have seen me make my rolling stop, right? Sigh. Sometimes I'm patient and a good rule-follower and sometimes I only think about getting to my destination as quickly as possible.
I had group--last week we didn't meet because too many people had other responsibilities during Hanuka. R, whose feelings I hurt two weeks ago, said that she wanted to quit the group. She said she didn't get anything out of it but negative feelings. She said it bothered her to hear other people talking about things that didn't fit into her value system, such as women working instead of taking care of their children or women having relationships outside of marriage. She insists it has nothing to do with last week, that she has wanted to say this for some time. I again apologized and told her that her input in valuable. I told her that I had learned a lot through the exchange two weeks ago. We all told her we would like her to stay on. I think she has a lot she can still gain through the group, but maybe the things she hears that go against her strongly held ideals do make it impossible for her to hear the tales of struggle and growth that are framed in those situations. She ended up again (she wasn't criticizing, mind you) saying how she just couldn't understand how people could throw their children away into boarding schools--this immediately after a very distraught mother of teenage daughter who has entered a boarding school for problem kids just finished crying over how lonely she is without her daughter even though she hadn't been able to keep her under control at home. Whatever. I wonder what kind of horrible monster I am, that I can have such a negative effect on people. I don't want to be a bad person. Nobody does, I guess. Most people consider themselves good, even thieves and what-not. We always justify ourselves. Our brains are specially made to keep us from seeing where we contradict ourselves and going crazy because of it. I read in a psychology text book once, that a study showed that people who don't suffer from depression view themselves much more positively than is realistic. Which I thought was depressing. *tongue in cheek*
After all the mess the kids made with food and and wet clothing, I delegated tasks to each one and we got the house straitened up. After which they cried excitedly, "Where's our prize!? We did it! Where's our prize?" I pointed out that I hadn't promised them anything, but that didn't stop them from demanding candy and /or a card game with me. So I gave them gummy worms and we played "Go Fish". H was caught lying about not having a seven by A. I couldn't remember, so I called Ya to come check her hand. (Ya was busy reading the one Harry Potter book she has for about the 25th time.) We convinced H that it wasn't so awful to give up her seven. Later, when someone asked for something else we knew she had, she threw her cards down to the other side of the table in frustration. Ya saw them and took her to the side, giving her a pep talk and some coaching (probably dirty--I realize now). H ended up winning the game. Illustrating idiocy, I asked the boys if they wanted to continue playing, just us losers. They were delighted to do so. Then Ya apparently coached Y to ask A for a certain card and all heck broke out. Sigh. I thought, "How did my parents stand us kids?" because I know we were just as childish. It seemed awfully disappointing at the time, to have a good time ruined by bad behavior and bickering. Now I'm just glad I have my lovely kids. The time away at work is making me learn to let them bicker and get over it without letting them draw me into it as much as they used to.
Sunday, Dec. 24, 2006
COLD. I stayed in bed most of the day because the house was so cold. The gas had run out. In the evening I made myself get the kids ready for Jujitsu although I really didn't want to go anywhere, or be with other people. I ended up taking them in the car, driving home to clean the floor, then driving back to pick them up. They brought notices saying we could order Jujitsu outfits for 140 shekels. Not good timing, with the stupid gas stove just taking 850.
Monday, Dec. 25, 2006
I kept Ya home. She had gone to have her eyebrows and "mustache" waxed and her hair styled the evening before. She woke up early to get ready for school because she wanted everything to be "perfect". Which meant, in addition to wearing lip gloss that looked like it might inadvertently trap all innocent souls in a two kilometer radius in its shiny goopiness, refusing to where her school uniform or anything similar to it. When she said she would wear her uniform, but change into the clothes she wanted in the school bathroom, I stopped discussing it. I just got everyone else ready, but decided to have them go to the car quietly and leave her at home. I may have foiled her this time, but she's only thirteen. Aggg! I reminded her that next year she'll be in a school where she'll have more freedom to dress the way she wants, but she needs to conform to rules just like anyone else. I guess the kids have picked up this "rules apply to other people" attitude from their dad. It is a typical Israeli attitude from his generation. And it was probably instrumental in saving lives and getting the country on it's feet. Things have changed to a much more western frame of mind now, which is bringing a new stage of development to the country.
Which reminds me that I was driving through the village on my way to pick the kids up from school. A mini-van was standing at an angle in the main street, reason inapparent. Finally, I saw that they were waiting for a car on the opposite side of the street to pull out of a parking space. This eventually happened, and the mini-van pulled into the parking space. Now the car that had been parked there was in my lane, ahead of me. They had probably just ate a relaxing meal in a village restaurant and were busier picking their teeth with mint-flavored toothpicks than in thinking about the fact that other drivers on the road were intent on getting to their respective point Bs. They meandered up the road as a goose waddle and I noticed that I had another car behind me, but I was still feeling patient. As we approached the curve in the road between the upper and lower sections of the village, the car behind me decided to pass us both. "Let's see you crash," I muttered, imagining someone coming around the curve quickly. Then I noticed that it was my sister-in-law B's old car. Would she drive that way? She prides herself on being a cautious driver. But she is insane and a drug user. Still, I doubted it. Her younger brother? But he seems much more responsible since he has two tiny little girls of his own at home. At a further curve in the road up to K.Y. I saw that it appeared to be him. But I decided it was drugs driving and not a person. A father of two little girls wouldn't drive that way, right? I'm disappointed in him. But then... I got yelled at for making a California stop. Hey, there was no one else around, except the bus driver flying down the hill. If he hadn't been going so fast, he wouldn't have seen me make my rolling stop, right? Sigh. Sometimes I'm patient and a good rule-follower and sometimes I only think about getting to my destination as quickly as possible.
I had group--last week we didn't meet because too many people had other responsibilities during Hanuka. R, whose feelings I hurt two weeks ago, said that she wanted to quit the group. She said she didn't get anything out of it but negative feelings. She said it bothered her to hear other people talking about things that didn't fit into her value system, such as women working instead of taking care of their children or women having relationships outside of marriage. She insists it has nothing to do with last week, that she has wanted to say this for some time. I again apologized and told her that her input in valuable. I told her that I had learned a lot through the exchange two weeks ago. We all told her we would like her to stay on. I think she has a lot she can still gain through the group, but maybe the things she hears that go against her strongly held ideals do make it impossible for her to hear the tales of struggle and growth that are framed in those situations. She ended up again (she wasn't criticizing, mind you) saying how she just couldn't understand how people could throw their children away into boarding schools--this immediately after a very distraught mother of teenage daughter who has entered a boarding school for problem kids just finished crying over how lonely she is without her daughter even though she hadn't been able to keep her under control at home. Whatever. I wonder what kind of horrible monster I am, that I can have such a negative effect on people. I don't want to be a bad person. Nobody does, I guess. Most people consider themselves good, even thieves and what-not. We always justify ourselves. Our brains are specially made to keep us from seeing where we contradict ourselves and going crazy because of it. I read in a psychology text book once, that a study showed that people who don't suffer from depression view themselves much more positively than is realistic. Which I thought was depressing. *tongue in cheek*