HSN Exchange Story: If It Were Sin to Give Way to the Flood (3/3), for domfangirl
Title: If It Were Sin to Give Way to the Flood (3/3)
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Puck / Quinn, minor Puck / Santana
Word Count: 4500 / 13,000
Disclaimer: This Glee fanfiction is based upon the television show of the same name. All characters and situations other than my own are sole property of Ryan Murphy Productions and 20th Century Fox Television.
Betas: Unrevealed for now. I do want to say thank you, ladies, for your feedback and support. ♥ You did a wonderful job.
Summary: In the aftermath of Beth's birth, Puck finds himself longing for something he can never have.
Note: Title from the poem "Forbidden Fruit," author unknown. (http://www.poetry-archive.com/a/forbidden_fruit.html)
Spoilers: For all of season 1.0.
-
August 18th
It isn't that he's been sulking.
He hasn't been.
He has simply not seen a reason to come out of his room other than to go in search of food or go to work. He's got everything he needs in here - his Xbox so he has something to do, his computer if he wants porn, his box of dinosaur-shaped animal crackers if he gets hungry, his dad's old Nine Inch Nails albums if he feels like listening to something angsty and cathartic, and his guitar if he feels like strumming something melancholy. And he is totally not sulking.
Except, he kind of is.
"Come on, dude,” Finn’s voice comes to him over the phone. "You love paintball. I'll even let you hit me a few times."
"No way, man," Puck says, despondently. "I just don't feel like it, I told you."
"Okay, now I know something's wrong,” Finn says, and Puck wonders when Finn became so perceptive. "You'd never turn down the chance to nail me a few times if something wasn't eating at you."
Puck sighs. He doesn't want to have this conversation with Finn. He can't admit that he's ridiculously in love with Finn's ex-girlfriend. And as much as he wants to tell Finn that he totally had sex with her again, he doesn't think that he can do that without getting into the fact that he's completely pussy whipped and is sure that she's just using him to make herself feel better. The whole thing is just not fucking studly.
The irony of the situation is not lost on Puck.
Before he has a chance to respond, he hears the call-waiting beep. "Hold up, dude. I have another call coming in."
"'Sup," he says, after switching lines.
"Hi Puck." Quinn's voice comes across the line, bright and clear.
"Quinn,” he says, sitting up straight immediately.
"Listen, I wanted to talk to you for a minute --"
"Sure, baby, but hold on a sec. I've got somebody on the other line."
He switches back to Finn. "Finn, man, I gotta go."
"Ditching me for the other caller, I see how it is."
"Yeah, well, it's important."
Puck hears a sigh come across the line. "It's Quinn, isn't it?"
“How'd you know?" Damn Finn and his perceptiveness, Puck thinks.
"You've been hiding ever since she got back. What the hell happened with you two?"
Puck sighs and runs a hand over his head. "Fuck if I know, dude. I'll call you later, okay?"
"Sure man, whatever."
"Bye."
Puck takes a deep breath and switches to the other line. He's still unsure of what to say to her, so he starts out with a simple, "Hey."
"Hey Puck, took you long enough." There is a hint of amused disdain in her voice.
"Yeah, well, I had to get Finn off the line. He's going all emo on me or some crap, always trying to get me to talk."
"Well, talking is a good idea, you know. Lets you know what the other person is thinking, where you stand." Puck is suspicious that she's not just talking about him and Finn, but he's not sure that he wants to have this conversation on the telephone either. He never was much of a phone person.
"I guess." He keeps his tone non-committal, as he desperately wants to get off the phone right the fuck now.
"Okay, well." Her tone becomes clipped. "I won't keep you. I just wanted to let you know that Shelby asked me if I wanted to come by and see Beth tomorrow morning, and I was wondering if you wanted to come with me."
"This is probably the last time we'll get to see her before she leaves, isn't it?"
"Yeah, Puck."
"Okay then. What time should I meet you there at?"
"Shelby said that Beth goes down for her morning nap at about 10:45, so 9:00 would be best. That work for you?"
"Yeah. I don't start work until noon tomorrow."
"Well, I'll see you tomorrow then, Puck."
"'Kay. See you."
"Bye."
He presses the END button on the phone, and stares at it for a few seconds before tossing it down on the bed behind him.
He is going to see Beth one last time with Quinn tomorrow, and then this thing between them will be over. The baby that ties them together will leave town, and he will be free to do what he wants. He'll be free to get over Quinn the best way he knows how - by avoiding her. He'll be free to reclaim whatever studliness he lost when he fell for Quinn and became a pathetic, pining loser.
Fucking Trent Reznor had it right man, he thinks as he lies down on his bed and puts his headphones to his ears, cueing up "Something I Can Never Have" once again.
-
August 19th
It is just before nine in the morning, and it is incredibly hot already. Puck has heard his mother say that this is one of the hottest summers on record, and he can believe it. At least his pick-up truck has air conditioning; he is thankful for that much.
He pulls up in front of Shelby Corcoran's untidy front yard to see Quinn standing on the sidewalk waiting for him. She is wearing a green dress this time, and it looks so good on her that it almost hurts him to look at her. He can't help but think of her naked underneath him a few days ago, of those green eyes looking up at him with raw need and desire. He pushes the want down, grabs the gift bag from the passenger seat and slams the door as he gets out of the truck, determined to get this over with.
She smiles brightly at him and offers a simple "Hey" as a means of greeting as he walks towards her. Then she reaches out to grasp his hand to lead him up the front walkway. Her hand is warm and slightly sweaty, but it fits comfortably against his own. He looks down at their hands, puzzled, and wonders what this means.
She looks up at him, her eyes questioning. "Are you ready for this?"
"As ready as I'm gonna be, I suppose." He squeezes her hand, grateful for its comfort.
She knocks on the door, and they wait expectantly for a minute before the door opens to reveal Shelby Corcoran, looking frazzled with a receiving blanket thrown over her shoulder. She smiles widely when she sees them, and Puck thinks that, despite the evident exhaustion, she looks genuinely happy. It is a good look on her.
"Hi guys!" she says, pulling them both in for an awkward hug. "Come on in! She's in the living room," she walks them into the house. "Do you want anything to drink? Water? Coffee? I've got a pot on kind of permanently these days."
"I'm okay, thanks,” Quinn says, peering through the doorway to the living room. She looks at Shelby. "Can we go and see her?"
"Of course!" Shelby says, leading them into the living room. Puck looks around and sees that there is baby gear everywhere. A fancy diaper bag sits by the front door, overflowing with diapers and clothes. There is a basket of toys near the sofa, and a stack of board books is on the coffee table. An empty baby bottle sits on another table, with a bib lying next to it.
And there, in the middle of the living room is a brightly coloured mat with arches going from one corner to another. Laying on the mat, batting at toys suspended from the arches is three-and-a-half-month-old Beth. Puck hasn't seen her for about a month and a half, and he is startled at the changes in the baby girl. The last time he saw her, she didn't do much besides eat, sleep and fill her expensive organic diapers. Now, she is cooing and attempting to pull a small toy down to her mouth from where it is hooked into the arch above her head.
Shelby crouches beside the mat to pick up Beth, cradling her head gently in her hand. She puts Beth to her shoulder, gently bouncing on her heels as she walks over to Puck and Quinn. All the while, Beth is looking at the world around her with wide curious eyes.
"Do you want to hold her?" she asks Quinn.
"Sure,” says Quinn, looking nervous.
Shelby puts Beth in Quinn's outstretched arms, and Quinn cradles the baby against her. Beth looks up at Quinn and smiles a wide, toothless grin at her.
"Hey, baby,” Quinn whispers, rocking Beth gently in her arms.
"She just had her three-month check up,” Shelby says. "The pediatrician says she's doing amazingly well. She's gaining weight nicely and meeting all the milestones she should be, considering she arrived a little early."
"Yeah,” Quinn says. "That was a bit of a surprise."
"For what it is worth, I'm sorry if any fear you had of Vocal Adrenaline’s incredible skill played a part in inducing your labour early," Shelby says, a twinkle in her eye.
Quinn snorts delicately. "Come on, you guys aren't that good. And at least her early arrival didn't affect her in any way, did it little Beth, huh?" She coos at the baby, who smiles and swipes at Quinn's face. "See, you're okay. Besides we're going to kick Vocal Adrenaline's butt next year, aren't we, baby? Yes we are."
"Well, you have more of a chance now that myself and some of our more senior performers are moving on, I think. They'll need some time to re-group after losing so much talent all at once."
"Yeah," Quinn says, looking at Shelby with a sad smile. "You all certainly will be missed."
Shelby strokes Beth's head, and the baby turns her head to smile at her. "We won't be that far away. And like I said, you can visit us any time you want. And she'll have so many opportunities."
"Yeah?" Puck asks, participating in the conversation for the first time.
Shelby looks at him. "Well, I'll be teaching music at a K-12 private school. She'll be able to go to school there when she's old enough, and it is such a good facility. She will have so many options available to her."
More than I could ever provide, Puck thinks. He smiles, knowing that they made the right decision about Beth's future. "That sounds amazing," he says.
"It really is," Shelby responds. "She'll have a good life. I promise."
"Thank you for that," Quinn says, tears in her eyes.
Shelby squeezes Quinn's shoulder. "I'm going to go warm up a bottle for her. You take all the time you need, okay?"
"'Kay," Quinn says, sitting down on the sofa. Puck sits down next to her, unable to take his eyes off the small baby.
"Wanna hold her?" Quinn asks.
"Sure. Give her here."
Quinn passes the baby over to Puck so that he is awkwardly holding Beth. As soon as she is placed in his arms, his olfactory sense is overwhelmed by the smell of newborn baby, a smell that he has come to know and love during his few visits to Shelby and Beth. He breathes in deeply, thinking sadly that this might be the last opportunity that he will have to experience this scent.
"No, like this, you egghead,” Quinn says softly, positioning one of Puck’s arms underneath Beth more comfortably.
"Thanks,” Puck says, looking down into his daughter’s face. Beth smiles up at him, and he thinks that she is one of most precious things he has ever seen. He makes a silly face at her, and she giggles, drawing a laugh from both Puck and Quinn.
"She's so cute," Quinn says, playing with her feet. "I mean, look at these tiny toes!"
"And her fingers!" Puck lets Beth grasp one of his fingers in a tiny fist. "Musician's hands. We'll have to make sure that you get a guitar when you're a teenager, kiddo."
"I wonder if she'll be a singer?"
Puck looks at Quinn. "With Shelby as her mom, I don't think that she'll have a choice in that, do you?"
Quinn laughs. "Probably not, no."
Puck looks back down at the baby in his arms. "She's got her whole life ahead of her. Hope she doesn't fuck it up like I did."
Quinn puts her hand on Puck's arm. "You didn't fuck it up, Puck."
"No, I did," Puck says, his eyebrows coming together. "I mean, I live in a nowhere town, I don't know what I'm gonna do with my life, and I knocked you up."
Quinn smiles. "At least one good thing came of that, right?"
Puck looks back down at the baby. "Yeah. She's beautiful, just like her mother."
"Her birth mother," Quinn corrects gently.
"Okay, birth mother. Though Shelby's pretty hot, too, I gotta admit."
"Puck! Can’t you let up for a second?" Quinn playfully punches his arm.
"You know me."
"Yeah, I do." Quinn smiles. They spend several minutes cooing at the baby before Quinn says, "Wanna sing to her?"
Puck smiles. He hasn't sung with Quinn, just Quinn, for a long time. He misses that, and he's finding that he's enjoying today's amicable camaraderie. For the first time since he ran out of Quinn's house, a flicker of hope runs through him. "Sure. What do you wanna sing?"
"Her song. The one we named her after."
Puck smiles down at the baby, who makes a grab at his ear. He catches her tiny fist with his fingers and starts singing, his voice soft and gravelly with emotion. "Beth, I hear you calling, but I can't come home right now..."
Quinn puts her arm around him and leans into him, a comfortable and welcome weight at his side. Her voice joins his at the chorus, and the baby gazes at them rapturously, thoroughly engaged in their singing. So wrapped up they are in the song and the emotion of the moment that neither of them notice when Shelby returns to the room. They are startled when she claps softly at the end of the song, and look up at her sheepishly.
"That was beautiful, you guys,” Shelby says, wiping away a stray tear from her eye.
Puck smiles at her, blinking away tears of his own. "Yeah, well, we do sing you know."
"I know. She will too. She's got it in her. She’s definitely got a set of lungs on her, I can tell you that." She sits down next to Puck with the bottle and hands it to him. "Want to feed her?"
"Oh, I don't know how..." Puck looks up at Shelby, slightly anxious.
"It's easy. Just put the bottle to her lips and nudge it against her until she opens her mouth... There you go. See, easy." She pauses and adjusts the angle of the bottle in Puck's hand slightly. "That's right."
"How did you figure all of this out?" Puck asks.
"You kind of learn as you go,” Shelby says. "Also, I'm obsessive compulsive when it comes to researching stuff. You should see my stack of parenting books. It's huge."
"I'll bet,” Puck says. "Oh, hey, I brought something for her. In that bag, over there by the door."
Quinn gets up to retrieve the bag and hands it to Shelby. From underneath the layer of tissue paper, Shelby pulls out a soft, pink, stuffed dinosaur.
Quinn giggles. "You and your dinosaurs."
"I think it's cute." Shelby says, smiling brightly. "I bet Beth will love it."
Puck looks down at Beth to see that her eyes are drifting closed. "Hey, she's falling asleep," he says softly.
"Yeah," says Shelby. "She often does that after she eats."
"She looks so peaceful," says Quinn, leaning over the baby slightly to gaze upon Beth’s relaxed face.
"She is," says Shelby, taking the bottle out of Beth's now loosened grasp. "She's an easy baby and happy all the time, too. I've been told that I'm lucky to have such a happy baby. And I really am lucky to have her in my life. And to have you guys in my life, too. We're kind of family now, you know?"
"Family,” says Quinn. "I like that."
"Me too." Shelby grins at her, getting up from the sofa. "Okay, I better put her down for her nap now, guys."
"Sounds good," Puck says, as he stands to transfer the baby to Shelby's waiting arms. He looks down at the sleeping baby one more time, determined to memorize her features. His gaze lingers on her eyelids with their delicate purple veins, on her cupid-like lips, and on her wispy dark hair. He brushes a hand over the top of her head. Then his hand pauses and his eyes widen in shock. Underneath Beth’s fine, dark hair lies a layer of yellow-ish scales.
“Uh, Shelby,” he whispers, “I don’t want to worry you or anything, but I think there’s something wrong with her head.” He looks at Shelby with an expression that he knows must be filled with absolute horror.
Shelby comes closer, her eyebrows together with worry. She looks closely at Beth, trying to determine what the problem could be, then looks up at Puck, confused. “What is it?”
“It’s…” He points to her scalp. “Her head. It’s kinda, well, nasty.”
Quinn looks at Puck in consternation and smacks his arm, but Shelby only laughs softly. “Puck, don’t worry. That’s only cradle cap. Most babies about this age get it. It’s completely normal.”
“Ohhh.” Puck looks back down at Beth, relieved. “It’s still kinda nasty, though.”
“Good thing the rest of her is cute, right?” Shelby says, as she takes Beth from Puck, snuggling the baby against her body.
“She definitely is cute,” Quinn says, elbowing Puck in the side. "We better get going, huh, Puck?"
"Yeah."
Shelby walks them to the door. "Don't be afraid to drop by before we leave or call to see how she's doing, okay?"
"Okay," Puck responds. Quinn presses a quick kiss to the sleeping baby's head before stepping out onto the front porch.
"Bye, guys,” Shelby says, closing the door.
"Bye,” they say in unison.
Puck and Quinn make their way down the front walkway, back to the sidewalk. Puck's hand dangles at his side, and he wants nothing more to grasp Quinn's hand in his, but he's not sure that he can make that leap.
They reach the truck, and he leans against its side.
"I feel like I'm always saying goodbye to her, you know?" Quinn says, her eyes sad.
Puck nods. "It's like, every time I see her, a part of me kind of expects that I won't see her again. And she's so different every time."
"Yeah,” Quinn agrees. “She's getting so big now."
Puck turns to Quinn. "Hey, did you drive over here?"
"No, I walked,” Quinn gestures in the direction of her home. “It's not too far from my house, and it’s a nice day, so you know. I figured I should get some fresh air."
"Want a ride home?"
“Yeah," Quinn says. After getting into Puck’s car, she turns to him in and says, “Actually, I don’t think I want to go home yet. Take me to Faurot Park for a bit?”
Puck shrugs. He has about an hour to kill before work. “Sure,” he says. In truth, he’s happy to simply spend more time with her.
The short drive to the park is spent more or less in silence. Puck does not know what to say after having revealed how he felt about Quinn and not hearing anything in return. Up until this morning, he had been fairly certain that she still did not want him, but now he isn't so sure. Every couple of minutes, he steals a glance at her, and one time, he catches her staring back at him. He smiles at her before reluctantly turning his attention back to the road, giving the engine more gas so they can get to the park more quickly. A heady sense of anticipation runs through him, and he thinks that there must be a reason why she is sitting next to him with a beatific smile on her face, looking for all the world as though she knows the answers to life’s mysteries.
They arrive at the park, and he walks around to her side to help her out of the truck - he did that often when she rode in his truck while she was pregnant, and old habits die hard. She takes his hand as she gets out of the truck and doesn’t let go of it when he swings the door shut, and they walk into the green-space.
He looks sideways at her, and he is struck once again by how beautiful she is, with her hair shining like spun gold in the sunlight. Her clear green eyes lift to his and he is fascinated by the expression of serenity on her face.
She smiles and looks down at her feet, swinging their arms together as they walk across a grassy field. "You know, I didn't mean it when I said that you suck."
"What? When?" He is genuinely surprised, and he can’t remember her saying such a thing to him since she’s been home.
"In the hospital when Beth was being born. I said you suck.” She grins and bites her lip mischievously. “A lot."
Puck understands what she is talking about now and grins. He didn't think that she remembered the litany of curses that she had hurled his way when she was in labour, and he’s amused to discover that she does. "I'm pretty sure you get a pass on that one." He grins and kicks half-heartedly at a rock that was in his path. “On account of the whole, you know, giving birth thing.”
"Well, I just wanted to let you know,” she says, looking up at him. "I don't think you suck. Kind of the opposite, actually."
A rare bolt of optimism shoots through Puck at these words, and he smiles. "Oh really?"
She stops walking and turns to face him, clasping both of his hands in hers. "I want to give us a chance, Puck,” she looks up at him almost shyly. “I've been thinking a lot about us, and what you said, and how I left things at the beginning of the summer. And I didn't mean what I said then, either. I just wanted things to be the way they were before, you know?"
"You mean..." His hands grip hers tightly, as if he is afraid she might evaporate and disappear in the mid-morning sun.
"I think I could be falling for you, too," she says, looking up at him from under lowered lashes.
An elated grin spreads across Puck's face. "I knew you couldn't resist me,” he exclaims, his voice jubilant. He wraps his arms around her, lifting her off the ground to swing her around. She tips her head back and laughs, her hair swirling around her joyous face like ribbons. He puts her down and presses a kiss to her mouth - relishing in the sensation of her lips against his, of the feeling of her silken hair as he threads his fingers through it. She sighs into the kiss and leans into him, and he can feel her opening herself to him in a way that he’d never thought possible.
They break the kiss, and stand wrapped around each other, their foreheads together as they breathe in each other’s scent. Quinn smirks and looks into Puck’s eyes with a playful expression on her face. "Well, believe me, I tried to resist you,” she says.
Puck laughs softly and presses a short and sweet kiss to her lips. "Well, you know what they say, once you try the Puckasaurus, you never go back."
Quinn giggles and flips her hair. "Never go back to what, exactly?"
"Uhhhhh... anybody else?” Puck’s hands slide down her body to her hips, pulling her squarely against him. He nuzzles into her neck and murmurs, “Your Martha's Vineyard boyfriend didn't stand a chance."
"Yeah, about that,” Quinn sounds contrite as she pulls away to look at him. "There was no boyfriend. I told Santana to tell you that there was because I wanted you to think I'd moved on."
Puck deflates a little at this. "Well, it worked,” he says, hanging his head.
"A little too well, I think.” She draws him against her and strokes her hand along his cheek. “I didn't mean to hurt you, you know. I just wanted my life back."
"And you can have it back,” he says, closing his eyes briefly as he leans into her touch. "It just has to have me in it."
Quinn grins widely and wraps her arms around his neck, holding him close. "I'm okay with that. Even if you are kind of a dummy sometimes."
"You know you love me." Puck jokes, lifting her off her feet once more.
Quinn smiles sweetly. "I think I kind of do."
"Yeah, you do!" Puck’s voice is joyful, and he wants to shout it out to the world - Quinn loves him! If he is worthy of her love, then maybe he deserves to feel good about himself after all. And with her in his life, maybe he isn’t destined to be a Lima Loser. He will be a man, prove to her that he is worthy of her, and show her that he can make a life for them both, and that they will be happy, together.
He never thought he would be the kind of guy who would need the love and affection of another person to feel complete, but damn it, he does. And the knowledge that Quinn loves him back is wonderful - an intense feeling of joy and happiness fills Puck, and he wants to stay in this moment forever.
He feels as though he can take on the world.
Right now, the world isn’t what he wants. All he wants is Quinn - her lips, her hands, and her joyous face looking back at him. Underneath the bright blue of the summer sky, he pulls her close and kisses her once more.
// END
PROMPT:
ABOUT THE FIC THAT YOU ARE REQUESTING
Character(s) or pairing(s): Puck/Quinn, Puck/Rachel, Puck/Santana or any combination of the three (no, not a threesome, but a triangle, or quadrangle, or whatever)
Do you prefer R or NC-17 smut?: I am an equal opportunity smut reader, softer or harder, I like it both ways!
Prompts (minimum of 3, no maximum!):
1. Angst -- use Adam Lambert's "Whataya Want From Me" as inspiration; song link: http://www.sendspace.com/file/dgv763
2. Future fic is totally acceptable--fastforward to when they are adults, but use current show canon as reference.
3. Bonus points if you make Puck cry in a believable way. :D
4. Use the line "Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose" from "Me and Bobby McGee" for inspiration.
5. Any kind of side bromance with Puck and Finn will get you gold stars.
Things you DON’T want in your story (kinks or sex acts that gross you out, characters you despise, etc.):
I'm not into slash, anal of any kind (even with a consenting female), or threesomes. Puck can have sex with more than one lady (as we know he has anyway), but only one at a time, please.
Also, I know this is a smut exchange--but I like plot. So having a sexy plot, not just PWP would be *loved*.
I also prefer one POV at a time.
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Puck / Quinn, minor Puck / Santana
Word Count: 4500 / 13,000
Disclaimer: This Glee fanfiction is based upon the television show of the same name. All characters and situations other than my own are sole property of Ryan Murphy Productions and 20th Century Fox Television.
Betas: Unrevealed for now. I do want to say thank you, ladies, for your feedback and support. ♥ You did a wonderful job.
Summary: In the aftermath of Beth's birth, Puck finds himself longing for something he can never have.
Note: Title from the poem "Forbidden Fruit," author unknown. (http://www.poetry-archive.com/a/forbidden_fruit.html)
Spoilers: For all of season 1.0.
-
August 18th
It isn't that he's been sulking.
He hasn't been.
He has simply not seen a reason to come out of his room other than to go in search of food or go to work. He's got everything he needs in here - his Xbox so he has something to do, his computer if he wants porn, his box of dinosaur-shaped animal crackers if he gets hungry, his dad's old Nine Inch Nails albums if he feels like listening to something angsty and cathartic, and his guitar if he feels like strumming something melancholy. And he is totally not sulking.
Except, he kind of is.
"Come on, dude,” Finn’s voice comes to him over the phone. "You love paintball. I'll even let you hit me a few times."
"No way, man," Puck says, despondently. "I just don't feel like it, I told you."
"Okay, now I know something's wrong,” Finn says, and Puck wonders when Finn became so perceptive. "You'd never turn down the chance to nail me a few times if something wasn't eating at you."
Puck sighs. He doesn't want to have this conversation with Finn. He can't admit that he's ridiculously in love with Finn's ex-girlfriend. And as much as he wants to tell Finn that he totally had sex with her again, he doesn't think that he can do that without getting into the fact that he's completely pussy whipped and is sure that she's just using him to make herself feel better. The whole thing is just not fucking studly.
The irony of the situation is not lost on Puck.
Before he has a chance to respond, he hears the call-waiting beep. "Hold up, dude. I have another call coming in."
"'Sup," he says, after switching lines.
"Hi Puck." Quinn's voice comes across the line, bright and clear.
"Quinn,” he says, sitting up straight immediately.
"Listen, I wanted to talk to you for a minute --"
"Sure, baby, but hold on a sec. I've got somebody on the other line."
He switches back to Finn. "Finn, man, I gotta go."
"Ditching me for the other caller, I see how it is."
"Yeah, well, it's important."
Puck hears a sigh come across the line. "It's Quinn, isn't it?"
“How'd you know?" Damn Finn and his perceptiveness, Puck thinks.
"You've been hiding ever since she got back. What the hell happened with you two?"
Puck sighs and runs a hand over his head. "Fuck if I know, dude. I'll call you later, okay?"
"Sure man, whatever."
"Bye."
Puck takes a deep breath and switches to the other line. He's still unsure of what to say to her, so he starts out with a simple, "Hey."
"Hey Puck, took you long enough." There is a hint of amused disdain in her voice.
"Yeah, well, I had to get Finn off the line. He's going all emo on me or some crap, always trying to get me to talk."
"Well, talking is a good idea, you know. Lets you know what the other person is thinking, where you stand." Puck is suspicious that she's not just talking about him and Finn, but he's not sure that he wants to have this conversation on the telephone either. He never was much of a phone person.
"I guess." He keeps his tone non-committal, as he desperately wants to get off the phone right the fuck now.
"Okay, well." Her tone becomes clipped. "I won't keep you. I just wanted to let you know that Shelby asked me if I wanted to come by and see Beth tomorrow morning, and I was wondering if you wanted to come with me."
"This is probably the last time we'll get to see her before she leaves, isn't it?"
"Yeah, Puck."
"Okay then. What time should I meet you there at?"
"Shelby said that Beth goes down for her morning nap at about 10:45, so 9:00 would be best. That work for you?"
"Yeah. I don't start work until noon tomorrow."
"Well, I'll see you tomorrow then, Puck."
"'Kay. See you."
"Bye."
He presses the END button on the phone, and stares at it for a few seconds before tossing it down on the bed behind him.
He is going to see Beth one last time with Quinn tomorrow, and then this thing between them will be over. The baby that ties them together will leave town, and he will be free to do what he wants. He'll be free to get over Quinn the best way he knows how - by avoiding her. He'll be free to reclaim whatever studliness he lost when he fell for Quinn and became a pathetic, pining loser.
Fucking Trent Reznor had it right man, he thinks as he lies down on his bed and puts his headphones to his ears, cueing up "Something I Can Never Have" once again.
-
August 19th
It is just before nine in the morning, and it is incredibly hot already. Puck has heard his mother say that this is one of the hottest summers on record, and he can believe it. At least his pick-up truck has air conditioning; he is thankful for that much.
He pulls up in front of Shelby Corcoran's untidy front yard to see Quinn standing on the sidewalk waiting for him. She is wearing a green dress this time, and it looks so good on her that it almost hurts him to look at her. He can't help but think of her naked underneath him a few days ago, of those green eyes looking up at him with raw need and desire. He pushes the want down, grabs the gift bag from the passenger seat and slams the door as he gets out of the truck, determined to get this over with.
She smiles brightly at him and offers a simple "Hey" as a means of greeting as he walks towards her. Then she reaches out to grasp his hand to lead him up the front walkway. Her hand is warm and slightly sweaty, but it fits comfortably against his own. He looks down at their hands, puzzled, and wonders what this means.
She looks up at him, her eyes questioning. "Are you ready for this?"
"As ready as I'm gonna be, I suppose." He squeezes her hand, grateful for its comfort.
She knocks on the door, and they wait expectantly for a minute before the door opens to reveal Shelby Corcoran, looking frazzled with a receiving blanket thrown over her shoulder. She smiles widely when she sees them, and Puck thinks that, despite the evident exhaustion, she looks genuinely happy. It is a good look on her.
"Hi guys!" she says, pulling them both in for an awkward hug. "Come on in! She's in the living room," she walks them into the house. "Do you want anything to drink? Water? Coffee? I've got a pot on kind of permanently these days."
"I'm okay, thanks,” Quinn says, peering through the doorway to the living room. She looks at Shelby. "Can we go and see her?"
"Of course!" Shelby says, leading them into the living room. Puck looks around and sees that there is baby gear everywhere. A fancy diaper bag sits by the front door, overflowing with diapers and clothes. There is a basket of toys near the sofa, and a stack of board books is on the coffee table. An empty baby bottle sits on another table, with a bib lying next to it.
And there, in the middle of the living room is a brightly coloured mat with arches going from one corner to another. Laying on the mat, batting at toys suspended from the arches is three-and-a-half-month-old Beth. Puck hasn't seen her for about a month and a half, and he is startled at the changes in the baby girl. The last time he saw her, she didn't do much besides eat, sleep and fill her expensive organic diapers. Now, she is cooing and attempting to pull a small toy down to her mouth from where it is hooked into the arch above her head.
Shelby crouches beside the mat to pick up Beth, cradling her head gently in her hand. She puts Beth to her shoulder, gently bouncing on her heels as she walks over to Puck and Quinn. All the while, Beth is looking at the world around her with wide curious eyes.
"Do you want to hold her?" she asks Quinn.
"Sure,” says Quinn, looking nervous.
Shelby puts Beth in Quinn's outstretched arms, and Quinn cradles the baby against her. Beth looks up at Quinn and smiles a wide, toothless grin at her.
"Hey, baby,” Quinn whispers, rocking Beth gently in her arms.
"She just had her three-month check up,” Shelby says. "The pediatrician says she's doing amazingly well. She's gaining weight nicely and meeting all the milestones she should be, considering she arrived a little early."
"Yeah,” Quinn says. "That was a bit of a surprise."
"For what it is worth, I'm sorry if any fear you had of Vocal Adrenaline’s incredible skill played a part in inducing your labour early," Shelby says, a twinkle in her eye.
Quinn snorts delicately. "Come on, you guys aren't that good. And at least her early arrival didn't affect her in any way, did it little Beth, huh?" She coos at the baby, who smiles and swipes at Quinn's face. "See, you're okay. Besides we're going to kick Vocal Adrenaline's butt next year, aren't we, baby? Yes we are."
"Well, you have more of a chance now that myself and some of our more senior performers are moving on, I think. They'll need some time to re-group after losing so much talent all at once."
"Yeah," Quinn says, looking at Shelby with a sad smile. "You all certainly will be missed."
Shelby strokes Beth's head, and the baby turns her head to smile at her. "We won't be that far away. And like I said, you can visit us any time you want. And she'll have so many opportunities."
"Yeah?" Puck asks, participating in the conversation for the first time.
Shelby looks at him. "Well, I'll be teaching music at a K-12 private school. She'll be able to go to school there when she's old enough, and it is such a good facility. She will have so many options available to her."
More than I could ever provide, Puck thinks. He smiles, knowing that they made the right decision about Beth's future. "That sounds amazing," he says.
"It really is," Shelby responds. "She'll have a good life. I promise."
"Thank you for that," Quinn says, tears in her eyes.
Shelby squeezes Quinn's shoulder. "I'm going to go warm up a bottle for her. You take all the time you need, okay?"
"'Kay," Quinn says, sitting down on the sofa. Puck sits down next to her, unable to take his eyes off the small baby.
"Wanna hold her?" Quinn asks.
"Sure. Give her here."
Quinn passes the baby over to Puck so that he is awkwardly holding Beth. As soon as she is placed in his arms, his olfactory sense is overwhelmed by the smell of newborn baby, a smell that he has come to know and love during his few visits to Shelby and Beth. He breathes in deeply, thinking sadly that this might be the last opportunity that he will have to experience this scent.
"No, like this, you egghead,” Quinn says softly, positioning one of Puck’s arms underneath Beth more comfortably.
"Thanks,” Puck says, looking down into his daughter’s face. Beth smiles up at him, and he thinks that she is one of most precious things he has ever seen. He makes a silly face at her, and she giggles, drawing a laugh from both Puck and Quinn.
"She's so cute," Quinn says, playing with her feet. "I mean, look at these tiny toes!"
"And her fingers!" Puck lets Beth grasp one of his fingers in a tiny fist. "Musician's hands. We'll have to make sure that you get a guitar when you're a teenager, kiddo."
"I wonder if she'll be a singer?"
Puck looks at Quinn. "With Shelby as her mom, I don't think that she'll have a choice in that, do you?"
Quinn laughs. "Probably not, no."
Puck looks back down at the baby in his arms. "She's got her whole life ahead of her. Hope she doesn't fuck it up like I did."
Quinn puts her hand on Puck's arm. "You didn't fuck it up, Puck."
"No, I did," Puck says, his eyebrows coming together. "I mean, I live in a nowhere town, I don't know what I'm gonna do with my life, and I knocked you up."
Quinn smiles. "At least one good thing came of that, right?"
Puck looks back down at the baby. "Yeah. She's beautiful, just like her mother."
"Her birth mother," Quinn corrects gently.
"Okay, birth mother. Though Shelby's pretty hot, too, I gotta admit."
"Puck! Can’t you let up for a second?" Quinn playfully punches his arm.
"You know me."
"Yeah, I do." Quinn smiles. They spend several minutes cooing at the baby before Quinn says, "Wanna sing to her?"
Puck smiles. He hasn't sung with Quinn, just Quinn, for a long time. He misses that, and he's finding that he's enjoying today's amicable camaraderie. For the first time since he ran out of Quinn's house, a flicker of hope runs through him. "Sure. What do you wanna sing?"
"Her song. The one we named her after."
Puck smiles down at the baby, who makes a grab at his ear. He catches her tiny fist with his fingers and starts singing, his voice soft and gravelly with emotion. "Beth, I hear you calling, but I can't come home right now..."
Quinn puts her arm around him and leans into him, a comfortable and welcome weight at his side. Her voice joins his at the chorus, and the baby gazes at them rapturously, thoroughly engaged in their singing. So wrapped up they are in the song and the emotion of the moment that neither of them notice when Shelby returns to the room. They are startled when she claps softly at the end of the song, and look up at her sheepishly.
"That was beautiful, you guys,” Shelby says, wiping away a stray tear from her eye.
Puck smiles at her, blinking away tears of his own. "Yeah, well, we do sing you know."
"I know. She will too. She's got it in her. She’s definitely got a set of lungs on her, I can tell you that." She sits down next to Puck with the bottle and hands it to him. "Want to feed her?"
"Oh, I don't know how..." Puck looks up at Shelby, slightly anxious.
"It's easy. Just put the bottle to her lips and nudge it against her until she opens her mouth... There you go. See, easy." She pauses and adjusts the angle of the bottle in Puck's hand slightly. "That's right."
"How did you figure all of this out?" Puck asks.
"You kind of learn as you go,” Shelby says. "Also, I'm obsessive compulsive when it comes to researching stuff. You should see my stack of parenting books. It's huge."
"I'll bet,” Puck says. "Oh, hey, I brought something for her. In that bag, over there by the door."
Quinn gets up to retrieve the bag and hands it to Shelby. From underneath the layer of tissue paper, Shelby pulls out a soft, pink, stuffed dinosaur.
Quinn giggles. "You and your dinosaurs."
"I think it's cute." Shelby says, smiling brightly. "I bet Beth will love it."
Puck looks down at Beth to see that her eyes are drifting closed. "Hey, she's falling asleep," he says softly.
"Yeah," says Shelby. "She often does that after she eats."
"She looks so peaceful," says Quinn, leaning over the baby slightly to gaze upon Beth’s relaxed face.
"She is," says Shelby, taking the bottle out of Beth's now loosened grasp. "She's an easy baby and happy all the time, too. I've been told that I'm lucky to have such a happy baby. And I really am lucky to have her in my life. And to have you guys in my life, too. We're kind of family now, you know?"
"Family,” says Quinn. "I like that."
"Me too." Shelby grins at her, getting up from the sofa. "Okay, I better put her down for her nap now, guys."
"Sounds good," Puck says, as he stands to transfer the baby to Shelby's waiting arms. He looks down at the sleeping baby one more time, determined to memorize her features. His gaze lingers on her eyelids with their delicate purple veins, on her cupid-like lips, and on her wispy dark hair. He brushes a hand over the top of her head. Then his hand pauses and his eyes widen in shock. Underneath Beth’s fine, dark hair lies a layer of yellow-ish scales.
“Uh, Shelby,” he whispers, “I don’t want to worry you or anything, but I think there’s something wrong with her head.” He looks at Shelby with an expression that he knows must be filled with absolute horror.
Shelby comes closer, her eyebrows together with worry. She looks closely at Beth, trying to determine what the problem could be, then looks up at Puck, confused. “What is it?”
“It’s…” He points to her scalp. “Her head. It’s kinda, well, nasty.”
Quinn looks at Puck in consternation and smacks his arm, but Shelby only laughs softly. “Puck, don’t worry. That’s only cradle cap. Most babies about this age get it. It’s completely normal.”
“Ohhh.” Puck looks back down at Beth, relieved. “It’s still kinda nasty, though.”
“Good thing the rest of her is cute, right?” Shelby says, as she takes Beth from Puck, snuggling the baby against her body.
“She definitely is cute,” Quinn says, elbowing Puck in the side. "We better get going, huh, Puck?"
"Yeah."
Shelby walks them to the door. "Don't be afraid to drop by before we leave or call to see how she's doing, okay?"
"Okay," Puck responds. Quinn presses a quick kiss to the sleeping baby's head before stepping out onto the front porch.
"Bye, guys,” Shelby says, closing the door.
"Bye,” they say in unison.
Puck and Quinn make their way down the front walkway, back to the sidewalk. Puck's hand dangles at his side, and he wants nothing more to grasp Quinn's hand in his, but he's not sure that he can make that leap.
They reach the truck, and he leans against its side.
"I feel like I'm always saying goodbye to her, you know?" Quinn says, her eyes sad.
Puck nods. "It's like, every time I see her, a part of me kind of expects that I won't see her again. And she's so different every time."
"Yeah,” Quinn agrees. “She's getting so big now."
Puck turns to Quinn. "Hey, did you drive over here?"
"No, I walked,” Quinn gestures in the direction of her home. “It's not too far from my house, and it’s a nice day, so you know. I figured I should get some fresh air."
"Want a ride home?"
“Yeah," Quinn says. After getting into Puck’s car, she turns to him in and says, “Actually, I don’t think I want to go home yet. Take me to Faurot Park for a bit?”
Puck shrugs. He has about an hour to kill before work. “Sure,” he says. In truth, he’s happy to simply spend more time with her.
The short drive to the park is spent more or less in silence. Puck does not know what to say after having revealed how he felt about Quinn and not hearing anything in return. Up until this morning, he had been fairly certain that she still did not want him, but now he isn't so sure. Every couple of minutes, he steals a glance at her, and one time, he catches her staring back at him. He smiles at her before reluctantly turning his attention back to the road, giving the engine more gas so they can get to the park more quickly. A heady sense of anticipation runs through him, and he thinks that there must be a reason why she is sitting next to him with a beatific smile on her face, looking for all the world as though she knows the answers to life’s mysteries.
They arrive at the park, and he walks around to her side to help her out of the truck - he did that often when she rode in his truck while she was pregnant, and old habits die hard. She takes his hand as she gets out of the truck and doesn’t let go of it when he swings the door shut, and they walk into the green-space.
He looks sideways at her, and he is struck once again by how beautiful she is, with her hair shining like spun gold in the sunlight. Her clear green eyes lift to his and he is fascinated by the expression of serenity on her face.
She smiles and looks down at her feet, swinging their arms together as they walk across a grassy field. "You know, I didn't mean it when I said that you suck."
"What? When?" He is genuinely surprised, and he can’t remember her saying such a thing to him since she’s been home.
"In the hospital when Beth was being born. I said you suck.” She grins and bites her lip mischievously. “A lot."
Puck understands what she is talking about now and grins. He didn't think that she remembered the litany of curses that she had hurled his way when she was in labour, and he’s amused to discover that she does. "I'm pretty sure you get a pass on that one." He grins and kicks half-heartedly at a rock that was in his path. “On account of the whole, you know, giving birth thing.”
"Well, I just wanted to let you know,” she says, looking up at him. "I don't think you suck. Kind of the opposite, actually."
A rare bolt of optimism shoots through Puck at these words, and he smiles. "Oh really?"
She stops walking and turns to face him, clasping both of his hands in hers. "I want to give us a chance, Puck,” she looks up at him almost shyly. “I've been thinking a lot about us, and what you said, and how I left things at the beginning of the summer. And I didn't mean what I said then, either. I just wanted things to be the way they were before, you know?"
"You mean..." His hands grip hers tightly, as if he is afraid she might evaporate and disappear in the mid-morning sun.
"I think I could be falling for you, too," she says, looking up at him from under lowered lashes.
An elated grin spreads across Puck's face. "I knew you couldn't resist me,” he exclaims, his voice jubilant. He wraps his arms around her, lifting her off the ground to swing her around. She tips her head back and laughs, her hair swirling around her joyous face like ribbons. He puts her down and presses a kiss to her mouth - relishing in the sensation of her lips against his, of the feeling of her silken hair as he threads his fingers through it. She sighs into the kiss and leans into him, and he can feel her opening herself to him in a way that he’d never thought possible.
They break the kiss, and stand wrapped around each other, their foreheads together as they breathe in each other’s scent. Quinn smirks and looks into Puck’s eyes with a playful expression on her face. "Well, believe me, I tried to resist you,” she says.
Puck laughs softly and presses a short and sweet kiss to her lips. "Well, you know what they say, once you try the Puckasaurus, you never go back."
Quinn giggles and flips her hair. "Never go back to what, exactly?"
"Uhhhhh... anybody else?” Puck’s hands slide down her body to her hips, pulling her squarely against him. He nuzzles into her neck and murmurs, “Your Martha's Vineyard boyfriend didn't stand a chance."
"Yeah, about that,” Quinn sounds contrite as she pulls away to look at him. "There was no boyfriend. I told Santana to tell you that there was because I wanted you to think I'd moved on."
Puck deflates a little at this. "Well, it worked,” he says, hanging his head.
"A little too well, I think.” She draws him against her and strokes her hand along his cheek. “I didn't mean to hurt you, you know. I just wanted my life back."
"And you can have it back,” he says, closing his eyes briefly as he leans into her touch. "It just has to have me in it."
Quinn grins widely and wraps her arms around his neck, holding him close. "I'm okay with that. Even if you are kind of a dummy sometimes."
"You know you love me." Puck jokes, lifting her off her feet once more.
Quinn smiles sweetly. "I think I kind of do."
"Yeah, you do!" Puck’s voice is joyful, and he wants to shout it out to the world - Quinn loves him! If he is worthy of her love, then maybe he deserves to feel good about himself after all. And with her in his life, maybe he isn’t destined to be a Lima Loser. He will be a man, prove to her that he is worthy of her, and show her that he can make a life for them both, and that they will be happy, together.
He never thought he would be the kind of guy who would need the love and affection of another person to feel complete, but damn it, he does. And the knowledge that Quinn loves him back is wonderful - an intense feeling of joy and happiness fills Puck, and he wants to stay in this moment forever.
He feels as though he can take on the world.
Right now, the world isn’t what he wants. All he wants is Quinn - her lips, her hands, and her joyous face looking back at him. Underneath the bright blue of the summer sky, he pulls her close and kisses her once more.
// END
PROMPT:
ABOUT THE FIC THAT YOU ARE REQUESTING
Character(s) or pairing(s): Puck/Quinn, Puck/Rachel, Puck/Santana or any combination of the three (no, not a threesome, but a triangle, or quadrangle, or whatever)
Do you prefer R or NC-17 smut?: I am an equal opportunity smut reader, softer or harder, I like it both ways!
Prompts (minimum of 3, no maximum!):
1. Angst -- use Adam Lambert's "Whataya Want From Me" as inspiration; song link: http://www.sendspace.com/file/dgv763
2. Future fic is totally acceptable--fastforward to when they are adults, but use current show canon as reference.
3. Bonus points if you make Puck cry in a believable way. :D
4. Use the line "Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose" from "Me and Bobby McGee" for inspiration.
5. Any kind of side bromance with Puck and Finn will get you gold stars.
Things you DON’T want in your story (kinks or sex acts that gross you out, characters you despise, etc.):
I'm not into slash, anal of any kind (even with a consenting female), or threesomes. Puck can have sex with more than one lady (as we know he has anyway), but only one at a time, please.
Also, I know this is a smut exchange--but I like plot. So having a sexy plot, not just PWP would be *loved*.
I also prefer one POV at a time.