Secrets (ch 2)
Title: Secrets
Rating: PG
Summary: Uh I don't wanna give anything away. Things happen!
Pairing (if any): Kurt / Finn, future Rachel / Puck
A/N: I don't think I mentioned this in the previous chapter, but this is set between Preggers and The Rhodes Not Taken.
---
The room was filled with an awkward silence.
Kurt was grinning somewhat madly; his eyes were wide, his mouth stretched into a thin smile. He was deeply focused on Finn, waiting for a reaction. If Finn had the presence of mind to pay equal attention to Kurt, he’d probably be a bit freaked out.
As it was, the poor guy was a bit overwhelmed. He was staring blankly at the floor just behind Kurt, as if hoping it would provide some answers for him.
“Gay?”
“Yes. You know. Into the same gender as you are - romantically, sexually - in your case, guys.”
The words snapped Finn back to attention. He looked at Kurt. Am I gay? He knew Kurt was smarter than him. Hell, Brittany was probably smarter than him. But he couldn’t be gay, he didn’t find guys attractive... did he?... no, he liked boobs.
“No - I’m not. I’m not... gay.” His focus drifted away from Kurt’s face. “I like girls. I don’t like, uh, guy parts.” A slight blush rose onto his face.
Kurt nearly giggled, but he withheld it. “Trust me, I know what I’m talking about. Have you ever met anyone more lady-fabulous than me? I wore a corset to school.” His expression had changed by now - he was more focused. Determined. No smile, no neutrality about him.
“Yes - but -”
“No, trust me, Finn. I know you try to hide it, with football, and with Quinn. It’s obvious. If I were built like you, I might have done the same, becoming the school quarterback; it would have saved me a lot of dumpster dives, at least.” He looked away from Finn, trying to hide a momentary look of disgust, before he continued. “And Quinn, well, that’s just too classic. The lead cheerleader? Classic overcompensation. But you never did anything with her, did you? Nothing more than kissing. And it’s not just because she wouldn’t let you. You didn’t want to.”
Finn stared at that spot on the floor. He was very confused. Maybe Kurt was right. Like he said, he was a lot smarter than Finn, and he [i]was[/i] the gayest guy ever. Even more than Adam Lambert - who Finn only knew about because of Kurt. And, well, he didn’t know about Quinn. He always thought he’d liked her, but she turned out to be... kind of a bitch... But what about that time in the hottub? How could he get so excited, if he was gay?
He was about to mention that - his mouth was open, about to speak - when he realized Kurt didn’t know that secret. He closed his mouth and thought of how to word his question without giving it away... “But - I get uh, excited. Over girls. You know.” He was blushing furiously now, hoping Kurt understood and would not laugh. Or tell anyone.
Luckily, Kurt did not laugh. Or even giggle, which was how he usually expressed amusement. Instead he smiled sympathetically, which might even be worse. “Oh, Finn. You’re a teenage boy - you’d get excited over a chicken.” Finn gaped at Kurt. He was sort of right, Finn did love chicken. “And besides, it’s not hard to convince yourself you’re getting ‘excited’, as you say, over a girl - when in fact you’re thinking of a guy. Are you sure you weren’t doing that?”
Finn closed his eyes in an attempt to think harder. Once the thought was put into his head, he couldn’t deny the possibility that he had been thinking of a guy. It wasn’t impossible. Was it?
“But, what about Rachel?” He opened his eyes and looked at Kurt pleadingly, hoping he wouldn’t be able to trounce this one. What could he say? Finn was totally into Rachel!
Kurt sighed. “Oh, Finn. You weren’t - aren’t - really into her. You never were. You needed her, for many things, your singing and dancing and so many things.” He sighed again, as if the thought of getting help from Rachel Berry pained him. “And she was comforting. A friend. And you knew she felt for you, and that was nice for you, so you let it build and pretend you felt more than you did for her. But you never did. She’s just another cover up, another way of convincing yourself you’re like them-” he spit out the word as if it were some last-month clothing trend “-but you aren’t. Being special sucks. But you can’t hide who you are. You know that, that’s why you joined Glee club. Because you know, deep down, who you are. And who you are is gay.”
Finn stared at Kurt now, but the same way he had stared at the floor: blankly. Not seeing him. Instead he saw Rachel and Quinn and the football team and Glee club, and all the girls on tv that he thought he was attracted to, and then he started seeing guys - and then he stood up.
“No... no. I’m not gay. You’re wrong.” He shook his head as if trying to rid himself of the thought and stepped past Kurt. “Thanks for the uh, the talk. Uh, bye.” He walked to the door, not looking back, and said bye again before leaving the room.
Kurt sat on the chair, not having moved from when Finn sat before him. He stared at the empty seat Finn had left empty.
It hadn’t gone exactly as planned. He had rehearsed his speech for weeks, so that had gone mostly well - he’d rambled a bit, but that was ok, Finn probably didn’t notice. And it let Kurt stare at him for longer. And there was a lot he had to get off his chest, which he hadn’t quite realized - he hadn’t intended on coming out, really, but it felt really quite amazing. Even though he knew Finn knew. It felt amazing.
He let out a deep breath that he didn’t know he was holding. It hadn’t gone exactly as planned. But it went relatively well, and he expected that it would continue to move on schedule for the next few days.
He stood up from his chair, patting down his skinny-jeans to clean them from any baking materials that might have clung to them - god only knows how, nobody’s cooked in the room since the baking sale the Glee club had. He took a quick look around the room, having grown fond of it over this short period of time, before walking to the door and leaving.
Overall, things were working out quite well.
Rating: PG
Summary: Uh I don't wanna give anything away. Things happen!
Pairing (if any): Kurt / Finn, future Rachel / Puck
A/N: I don't think I mentioned this in the previous chapter, but this is set between Preggers and The Rhodes Not Taken.
---
The room was filled with an awkward silence.
Kurt was grinning somewhat madly; his eyes were wide, his mouth stretched into a thin smile. He was deeply focused on Finn, waiting for a reaction. If Finn had the presence of mind to pay equal attention to Kurt, he’d probably be a bit freaked out.
As it was, the poor guy was a bit overwhelmed. He was staring blankly at the floor just behind Kurt, as if hoping it would provide some answers for him.
“Gay?”
“Yes. You know. Into the same gender as you are - romantically, sexually - in your case, guys.”
The words snapped Finn back to attention. He looked at Kurt. Am I gay? He knew Kurt was smarter than him. Hell, Brittany was probably smarter than him. But he couldn’t be gay, he didn’t find guys attractive... did he?... no, he liked boobs.
“No - I’m not. I’m not... gay.” His focus drifted away from Kurt’s face. “I like girls. I don’t like, uh, guy parts.” A slight blush rose onto his face.
Kurt nearly giggled, but he withheld it. “Trust me, I know what I’m talking about. Have you ever met anyone more lady-fabulous than me? I wore a corset to school.” His expression had changed by now - he was more focused. Determined. No smile, no neutrality about him.
“Yes - but -”
“No, trust me, Finn. I know you try to hide it, with football, and with Quinn. It’s obvious. If I were built like you, I might have done the same, becoming the school quarterback; it would have saved me a lot of dumpster dives, at least.” He looked away from Finn, trying to hide a momentary look of disgust, before he continued. “And Quinn, well, that’s just too classic. The lead cheerleader? Classic overcompensation. But you never did anything with her, did you? Nothing more than kissing. And it’s not just because she wouldn’t let you. You didn’t want to.”
Finn stared at that spot on the floor. He was very confused. Maybe Kurt was right. Like he said, he was a lot smarter than Finn, and he [i]was[/i] the gayest guy ever. Even more than Adam Lambert - who Finn only knew about because of Kurt. And, well, he didn’t know about Quinn. He always thought he’d liked her, but she turned out to be... kind of a bitch... But what about that time in the hottub? How could he get so excited, if he was gay?
He was about to mention that - his mouth was open, about to speak - when he realized Kurt didn’t know that secret. He closed his mouth and thought of how to word his question without giving it away... “But - I get uh, excited. Over girls. You know.” He was blushing furiously now, hoping Kurt understood and would not laugh. Or tell anyone.
Luckily, Kurt did not laugh. Or even giggle, which was how he usually expressed amusement. Instead he smiled sympathetically, which might even be worse. “Oh, Finn. You’re a teenage boy - you’d get excited over a chicken.” Finn gaped at Kurt. He was sort of right, Finn did love chicken. “And besides, it’s not hard to convince yourself you’re getting ‘excited’, as you say, over a girl - when in fact you’re thinking of a guy. Are you sure you weren’t doing that?”
Finn closed his eyes in an attempt to think harder. Once the thought was put into his head, he couldn’t deny the possibility that he had been thinking of a guy. It wasn’t impossible. Was it?
“But, what about Rachel?” He opened his eyes and looked at Kurt pleadingly, hoping he wouldn’t be able to trounce this one. What could he say? Finn was totally into Rachel!
Kurt sighed. “Oh, Finn. You weren’t - aren’t - really into her. You never were. You needed her, for many things, your singing and dancing and so many things.” He sighed again, as if the thought of getting help from Rachel Berry pained him. “And she was comforting. A friend. And you knew she felt for you, and that was nice for you, so you let it build and pretend you felt more than you did for her. But you never did. She’s just another cover up, another way of convincing yourself you’re like them-” he spit out the word as if it were some last-month clothing trend “-but you aren’t. Being special sucks. But you can’t hide who you are. You know that, that’s why you joined Glee club. Because you know, deep down, who you are. And who you are is gay.”
Finn stared at Kurt now, but the same way he had stared at the floor: blankly. Not seeing him. Instead he saw Rachel and Quinn and the football team and Glee club, and all the girls on tv that he thought he was attracted to, and then he started seeing guys - and then he stood up.
“No... no. I’m not gay. You’re wrong.” He shook his head as if trying to rid himself of the thought and stepped past Kurt. “Thanks for the uh, the talk. Uh, bye.” He walked to the door, not looking back, and said bye again before leaving the room.
Kurt sat on the chair, not having moved from when Finn sat before him. He stared at the empty seat Finn had left empty.
It hadn’t gone exactly as planned. He had rehearsed his speech for weeks, so that had gone mostly well - he’d rambled a bit, but that was ok, Finn probably didn’t notice. And it let Kurt stare at him for longer. And there was a lot he had to get off his chest, which he hadn’t quite realized - he hadn’t intended on coming out, really, but it felt really quite amazing. Even though he knew Finn knew. It felt amazing.
He let out a deep breath that he didn’t know he was holding. It hadn’t gone exactly as planned. But it went relatively well, and he expected that it would continue to move on schedule for the next few days.
He stood up from his chair, patting down his skinny-jeans to clean them from any baking materials that might have clung to them - god only knows how, nobody’s cooked in the room since the baking sale the Glee club had. He took a quick look around the room, having grown fond of it over this short period of time, before walking to the door and leaving.
Overall, things were working out quite well.