Songfic: Puck's Got The Best of Both Worlds
You get the hummer out front…Hottest women, every type, every color
Do you guys know who has an awesome life?
Me!
Every day after football practice, glee practice, whatever…there’s a hot mom in a hummer waiting outside for me.
Yesterday it was Tamara. She’s this hot African American chick. Today it’s Mai, the gorgeous Asian.
I do odd jobs around their houses. You know, getting rid of the dirt. Then it’s time to get dirty!
When you’re sexy it can be kinda fun, it’s really you but no one ever discovers!
I know that my life might seem perfect to you, but…
Well. I won’t lie. It really is.
Sometimes being this irresistible can be tough, though.
Take last year for example. I was dating this girl, Anna, but I was also doing her mom.
I was in the middle of this steamy make out session with this MILF when Anna walked in! I quickly grabbed this random wig I found on their living room floor and said my name was “Mo Idaho” and she totally believed me!
Now I’m living this double life as the sexy beast Mo Idaho and football playing glee stud Puck!
I know, I know. You’re jealous.
I would be too if I were this epic.
Oh wait…I am!
In some ways you’re just like all your friends, but in bed you’re a star!
Don’t get me wrong, though.
I’m just like you!
Take my best friend Finn for example. He and I are one in the same.
I’m just cooler, more muscular, and more good looking.
You get the best of both words! Sing it out, take it slow, then you sex a hot ho! You get the best of both worlds! Mix it all together and you know that it’s the best of both worlds!
I guess you could say that I’ve got the best of both worlds here.
I’m thinking about writing a song with that title for glee club, but I hear some chick named Hannah Montana or Miley Cyrus already has something like it?
That’s so stupid. Why would anyone have two names?
Anyway, I was thinking about switching my second name from Mo Idaho to “Lucky Kentucky”. I was discussing this with my priest, cause you know, confession is anonymous in the Catholic church and he wouldn’t know my real identity. That’s when we ran into problems.
Father Aaron seemed to think that there wasn’t anyone with the name Lucky so it might not be the best choice.
That’s when I reminded him that there was someone named Lucky. The leprechaun from that marshmallow cereal? Hello?
See, look how kickass I am. I’m smarter than the priest.
Yeah, you get to be a football player, but big time when you play your guitar!
All I have to do is play one note and all the girls swoon.
Seriously.
Look at Rachel. “Oh, Puck, you’re so great. Sing a solo! Then I’ll really want you”.
Like she didn’t want me before.
Or Quinn? Staring me down as I jammed to “Sweet Caroline”. And that’s the cool thing about also being Mo Idaho…
Caroline was actually this super hot mom I got with last Wednesday. Oh yeah, baby!
You get the best of both worlds! Without the shades and the hair, you can go anywhere…
Get this.
All I have to do is take off my wig and BAM!
I can walk down the hall at school and someone will say “Hey, Puck! What’s up?”.
That someone is usually a chick, of course.
They have no idea.
Know why?
It’s so much better cause’ you know I’ve got the best of both worlds!