Fic: I'm too naked for to sing, for silently_forgot
Title: I'm too naked for to sing
Length: 2186 words
Pairing: Brittany/Tina
Other: Pre-canon as per prompt: "Brittany starts pursuing Tina, and Tina thinks its a prank. After all, she's just the kid that stutters." Set pre-canon through S1, minor AU. Title from Chely Wright's "Snowglobe." PG for minor sexual elements.
Summary: Brittany finds Tina in a stairwell, and they make an odd connection. "I know you can sing," Brittany said, and although her voice was casual, the words fell like an accusation at Tina's feet.
"I know you can sing," Brittany said, and although her voice was casual, the words fell like an accusation at Tina's feet. Tina looked up from her notebook in disbelief. She'd chosen this stairwell as a perfect out-of-the-way place to hide after school while she waited for her mom to pick her up. The locker rooms weren't anywhere close, and none of the clubs met in classrooms near here. She could work uninterrupted and unworried, safe from extracurricular bullying.
But here was a Cheerio, in her place. A Cheerio, red uniform and blonde hair and everything Tina wasn't. The other girl didn't have a cup with her, so Tina's clothes were probably safe, but she still cowered around her notebook instinctively.
"W-w-what?" she asked, glancing up again to make sure she wasn't imagining this.
"I saw you in the talent show last year," the girl said, beaming. Tina wondered if the smile was something Sue trained into her girls (she'd heard plenty of stories about the coach already, and school had only been in session for two months).
Tina took a second to figure out what Brittany meant. She hadn't been in any talent show, had she?
"At Asian camp?" she asked dubiously. (It wasn't really "Asian" camp, exactly -- officially, it was a junior math and science camp, but for some reason it was really popular with the Asian families around Lima. Enough that Tina had a nickname for it.)
The cheerleader rocked back and forth on the balls of her feet.
"My brother is Asian," she stage-whispered. "We don't talk about it. But my family came for the talent show."
"O-oh," Tina said. Her face grew hot. She stared at Brittany's feet.
"You were really good," Brittany said. "You should do it more."
"BRITTANY! Brit, where are you? Coach is calling!"
Brittany twisted her head around at the sound of the other girl yelling down the hallway. She was loud -- they heard her easily through the door to the stairwell. Tina's heart thumped louder, but Brittany just smiled.
"I have to go, but I'll see you later," she said. Without another word, she dashed through the door. The door swung shut slowly, and before it closed, Tina heard Brittany say something about getting lost on the way to the bathroom. Tina didn't get much more homework done before her mom came to pick her up, even though she had another twenty minutes.
"Really good," she whispered, and smiled privately, doodling in her notebook. No one was around when she sat up straight a moment later, surprised at her own reaction.
Why would a cheerleader ever stop to talk to her? And why should she be so thrilled about it?
*
She decided not to think about it. Anyone who could get away with the excuse of getting lost going to the bathroom was probably not going to even think about vague promises of seeing someone around. Tina had school, and her style, and the tentative friendship she was striking up with a few other misfits at McKinley. She'd be fine.
Even still, when her mother told her that she'd have to stay late the next week, due to scheduling conflicts with her little sister, Tina couldn't help the hope that made her heart pound. She put on her favorite skirt and petticoat, fixed her hair carefully, and took up a distracted perch in her stairwell.
This time, when Brittany appeared, she sat down right next to Tina as if they'd been friends for years.
"I thought you got lost," Brittany said. She patted Tina's knee as if in congratulations. Tina's feelings were mixed -- there was a certain gratification that Brittany had come back, a bit of shock that Brittany was touching her, and more than a little fear (was this some sort of strange trick?).
"N-n-no," Tina managed. "I just don't come here all the time?" Her voice managed to lilt up in uncertain question and she winced inwardly, hearing her mom's voice in her head (Why can't you be more confident, Tina?).
"I don't either," Brittany said seriously. "I think I would have remembered seeing you."
Tina was blushing again, but then her phone buzzed with a message.
"Are you sexting?" Brittany asked with interest. Tina's eyes widened and she shook her head quickly, flipping the phone open.
"I have to go," she said reluctantly. "My mom is outside."
"Okay," Brittany said. "I should get back to practice. Same time next week?"
Tina nodded and darted out through the rain to her mother's van, barely feeling the drops on her neck.
*
Their odd relationship continued in fits and starts stolen from Cheerios practice and Tina's writing time. Once Tina began to feel less awkward around Brittany, and tried to talk to her, she found that having a conversation with the Cheerio was somewhat surreal. A lot of what she said needed decoding, and some of it Tina could never really figure out. Inexplicably, her denseness was endearing. Though Tina had been somewhat charmed by the quick-witted boy in her English class, Artie Abrams, she now found herself thinking of Brittany much more.
It was a confusing feeling: not the bisexual part, which she had suspected (and been concerned about) for years, but the fact that she'd chosen Brittany to crush on. Brittany seemed unable to say no to any boy's proposition, and it was rumored that she'd kissed every guy in school, and several of the girls. Tina wasn't into slut-shaming, definitely not, but she'd always expected to fall for someone a little less mainstream, too (and, okay, probably a little more choosy). And though Brittany sometimes passed Tina in the hall, she never acknowledged Tina, caught up in following the Cheerios captain or the other dark-haired cheerleader who seemed to be her closest friend.
Tina asked her once about it. She'd almost dared to wave at Brittany a couple hours before, lifting her head before she saw the football players tramping by in their usual pack.
Brittany thought about the question, wrinkling her forehead and twiddling her thumbs. "It's like this time isn't real," she said finally. "If I said something, it would break Narnia."
"This isn't Narnia," Tina said firmly. She'd given up her stuttering around Brittany, and the girl hadn't seemed to notice. "This is just a stairway, Brittany."
"But it's our stairway, Tina," Brittany answered, smiling softly. "That makes it special."
She reached out and squeezed Tina's hand before she jumped back up to her feet to go back to practice. Tina watched her go, enjoying the way that Brittany's skirt flipped up a little in back.
*
Despite Brittany's affection and absent-minded flirting, Tina really did not expect it when Brittany sat down one day and kissed Tina softly on the mouth. Her palm cupped Tina's knee, her fingers teasing at the lace of Tina's skirt. Tina gasped. Brittany pulled back enough to meet Tina's eyes.
"I was tired of waiting," she said with a pout. "I don't know how to go on dates with girls and Santana always asks me first. Is this okay?"
Tina had just received her first kiss from a girl with cherry lipgloss and a bright blonde ponytail, and all she could think about was the hand on her knee, how she desperately wanted it to creep higher. She wanted, so much more than she ever had before.
She sprang at Brittany, kissing her inexpertly but fervently on the mouth, and by the time that Brittany had to go back to practice, they were moaning into each other's mouths, and Brittany had made it to second base.
(It was funny how much Tina had worried about standing out, about possibly being more different than a stutter and a dark wardrobe could make her, because now she couldn't care less. There were just more important things, like Brittany's tongue in her mouth, like the way her mind was soaring.)
"Come over this weekend," Brittany said as they reluctantly broke apart. Tina didn't hesitate to write down the address.
*
Tina stayed over at Brittany's on Saturday night. Tina's parents were so amazed that she was making new friends, instead of withdrawing into herself, like she had been doing all year, that they didn't bother to ask whether Brittany's parents would be home or not. They did come home eventually, but several hours after Tina breathlessly left her virginity with Brittany (she didn't miss it).
They lay on Brittany's bed and Brittany teased at Tina's bare skin as they talked and talked. Tina told Brittany what felt like her entire life story. Brittany told Tina about dolphins and crazy history conspiracies and whatever came to mind. Tina was smitten, no matter how silly Brittany became. She tangled her fingernails in Brittany's hair and pretended to herself that they didn't have to go back to school on Monday.
*
School happened, though. Another week of different social circles, of watching Brittany chase after Santana and Quinn, and Tina was beginning to feel jealous of them. She wasn't going to submit herself to Sue's frightening leadership, even for really great sex. She wondered what would happen if she just took Brittany's hand one day. Would Brittany even acknowledge her?
"The lion never comes to our world," Brittany said worriedly, and one of these days, Tina really should convince her to give up the ridiculous Narnia references, but then Brittany was unfastening her corset, and Tina became too distracted.
After the initial strong burst of their relationship, however, Brittany's interest seemed to die down. She began to forget to meet Tina in their stairwell, and her weekends were often stolen by Quinn or Santana or something else.
"I have a date tonight," Brittany said quite baldly one day as they were sitting there. She ran her fingers through her ponytail. "The really short guy on the football team is taking me out. The one I haven't slept with."
Tina clutched her hands in her lap. She told herself that she should have expected this, that this was the only way that this relationship could have worked itself out, and that Brittany had the memory of a goldfish sometimes and had probably forgotten she had a sort-of girlfriend when the guy asked.
"What are we, Brittany?" she asked in a very small voice.
"You're my friend, right?" Brittany answered, sounding oddly concerned. She tipped Tina's head up, and Tina shook her head quickly so that Brittany didn't see her watery eyes.
"My mom is here," she declared, even though her mom wouldn't be for another ten minutes, and she stood outside in the heat until her mom appeared.
She didn't come to the stairwell again the next day.
*
It hurt for a while, realizing how little she had meant to Brittany after all, but it was something she dealt with anyway, in her own quiet way. She found a new place to sit -- in the choir room, since Glee practice only happened about once a week. She was always a little concerned that someone would ask why she was there in the back with her backpack tucked against her legs, but no one ever did. Mr. Ryerson and the Glee kids seemed caught up in their own drama. That was a welcome distraction from her own.
The next year, she took a chance and signed up, along with Artie. He'd impressed her with his casual singing in the cafeteria, and her mother had been gently encouraging her to pick up an extracurricular. (She'd looked for Brittany that summer at the camp talent show, but to no avail. Not that she knew what she'd do if Brittany came.)
She could sing. She wasn't going to think about the first person who really made her believe it. At least, not until the choir door opened and Quinn sauntered in, followed by Brittany and Santana. Tina felt her heart pounding in her ears.
Brittany's gaze swept the room and lighted on Tina. Tina stared back uncertainly. Brittany smiled.
"This might be fun," Brittany said, still looking at Tina, and Tina would be lying if she refused to admit that her heart wasn't pounding again, just like old times. She'd do her best to resist, but her eyes were already following Brittany in the choreography. Her skin still remembered the press of Brittany's hands.
She liked Artie. She pursued Artie, and that worked out very well until it didn't, until she realized she was repeating a painful pattern and she wasn't going to do that again.
Meanwhile, Brittany learned how to be loyal to Glee. That was a start. That was important. Because one day, Tina wanted to kiss her again, and have it mean something this time. Something that could last.
Nowadays, while she waited for her mom, she thought about duets that she and Brittany could sing.
Length: 2186 words
Pairing: Brittany/Tina
Other: Pre-canon as per prompt: "Brittany starts pursuing Tina, and Tina thinks its a prank. After all, she's just the kid that stutters." Set pre-canon through S1, minor AU. Title from Chely Wright's "Snowglobe." PG for minor sexual elements.
Summary: Brittany finds Tina in a stairwell, and they make an odd connection. "I know you can sing," Brittany said, and although her voice was casual, the words fell like an accusation at Tina's feet.
"I know you can sing," Brittany said, and although her voice was casual, the words fell like an accusation at Tina's feet. Tina looked up from her notebook in disbelief. She'd chosen this stairwell as a perfect out-of-the-way place to hide after school while she waited for her mom to pick her up. The locker rooms weren't anywhere close, and none of the clubs met in classrooms near here. She could work uninterrupted and unworried, safe from extracurricular bullying.
But here was a Cheerio, in her place. A Cheerio, red uniform and blonde hair and everything Tina wasn't. The other girl didn't have a cup with her, so Tina's clothes were probably safe, but she still cowered around her notebook instinctively.
"W-w-what?" she asked, glancing up again to make sure she wasn't imagining this.
"I saw you in the talent show last year," the girl said, beaming. Tina wondered if the smile was something Sue trained into her girls (she'd heard plenty of stories about the coach already, and school had only been in session for two months).
Tina took a second to figure out what Brittany meant. She hadn't been in any talent show, had she?
"At Asian camp?" she asked dubiously. (It wasn't really "Asian" camp, exactly -- officially, it was a junior math and science camp, but for some reason it was really popular with the Asian families around Lima. Enough that Tina had a nickname for it.)
The cheerleader rocked back and forth on the balls of her feet.
"My brother is Asian," she stage-whispered. "We don't talk about it. But my family came for the talent show."
"O-oh," Tina said. Her face grew hot. She stared at Brittany's feet.
"You were really good," Brittany said. "You should do it more."
"BRITTANY! Brit, where are you? Coach is calling!"
Brittany twisted her head around at the sound of the other girl yelling down the hallway. She was loud -- they heard her easily through the door to the stairwell. Tina's heart thumped louder, but Brittany just smiled.
"I have to go, but I'll see you later," she said. Without another word, she dashed through the door. The door swung shut slowly, and before it closed, Tina heard Brittany say something about getting lost on the way to the bathroom. Tina didn't get much more homework done before her mom came to pick her up, even though she had another twenty minutes.
"Really good," she whispered, and smiled privately, doodling in her notebook. No one was around when she sat up straight a moment later, surprised at her own reaction.
Why would a cheerleader ever stop to talk to her? And why should she be so thrilled about it?
*
She decided not to think about it. Anyone who could get away with the excuse of getting lost going to the bathroom was probably not going to even think about vague promises of seeing someone around. Tina had school, and her style, and the tentative friendship she was striking up with a few other misfits at McKinley. She'd be fine.
Even still, when her mother told her that she'd have to stay late the next week, due to scheduling conflicts with her little sister, Tina couldn't help the hope that made her heart pound. She put on her favorite skirt and petticoat, fixed her hair carefully, and took up a distracted perch in her stairwell.
This time, when Brittany appeared, she sat down right next to Tina as if they'd been friends for years.
"I thought you got lost," Brittany said. She patted Tina's knee as if in congratulations. Tina's feelings were mixed -- there was a certain gratification that Brittany had come back, a bit of shock that Brittany was touching her, and more than a little fear (was this some sort of strange trick?).
"N-n-no," Tina managed. "I just don't come here all the time?" Her voice managed to lilt up in uncertain question and she winced inwardly, hearing her mom's voice in her head (Why can't you be more confident, Tina?).
"I don't either," Brittany said seriously. "I think I would have remembered seeing you."
Tina was blushing again, but then her phone buzzed with a message.
"Are you sexting?" Brittany asked with interest. Tina's eyes widened and she shook her head quickly, flipping the phone open.
"I have to go," she said reluctantly. "My mom is outside."
"Okay," Brittany said. "I should get back to practice. Same time next week?"
Tina nodded and darted out through the rain to her mother's van, barely feeling the drops on her neck.
*
Their odd relationship continued in fits and starts stolen from Cheerios practice and Tina's writing time. Once Tina began to feel less awkward around Brittany, and tried to talk to her, she found that having a conversation with the Cheerio was somewhat surreal. A lot of what she said needed decoding, and some of it Tina could never really figure out. Inexplicably, her denseness was endearing. Though Tina had been somewhat charmed by the quick-witted boy in her English class, Artie Abrams, she now found herself thinking of Brittany much more.
It was a confusing feeling: not the bisexual part, which she had suspected (and been concerned about) for years, but the fact that she'd chosen Brittany to crush on. Brittany seemed unable to say no to any boy's proposition, and it was rumored that she'd kissed every guy in school, and several of the girls. Tina wasn't into slut-shaming, definitely not, but she'd always expected to fall for someone a little less mainstream, too (and, okay, probably a little more choosy). And though Brittany sometimes passed Tina in the hall, she never acknowledged Tina, caught up in following the Cheerios captain or the other dark-haired cheerleader who seemed to be her closest friend.
Tina asked her once about it. She'd almost dared to wave at Brittany a couple hours before, lifting her head before she saw the football players tramping by in their usual pack.
Brittany thought about the question, wrinkling her forehead and twiddling her thumbs. "It's like this time isn't real," she said finally. "If I said something, it would break Narnia."
"This isn't Narnia," Tina said firmly. She'd given up her stuttering around Brittany, and the girl hadn't seemed to notice. "This is just a stairway, Brittany."
"But it's our stairway, Tina," Brittany answered, smiling softly. "That makes it special."
She reached out and squeezed Tina's hand before she jumped back up to her feet to go back to practice. Tina watched her go, enjoying the way that Brittany's skirt flipped up a little in back.
*
Despite Brittany's affection and absent-minded flirting, Tina really did not expect it when Brittany sat down one day and kissed Tina softly on the mouth. Her palm cupped Tina's knee, her fingers teasing at the lace of Tina's skirt. Tina gasped. Brittany pulled back enough to meet Tina's eyes.
"I was tired of waiting," she said with a pout. "I don't know how to go on dates with girls and Santana always asks me first. Is this okay?"
Tina had just received her first kiss from a girl with cherry lipgloss and a bright blonde ponytail, and all she could think about was the hand on her knee, how she desperately wanted it to creep higher. She wanted, so much more than she ever had before.
She sprang at Brittany, kissing her inexpertly but fervently on the mouth, and by the time that Brittany had to go back to practice, they were moaning into each other's mouths, and Brittany had made it to second base.
(It was funny how much Tina had worried about standing out, about possibly being more different than a stutter and a dark wardrobe could make her, because now she couldn't care less. There were just more important things, like Brittany's tongue in her mouth, like the way her mind was soaring.)
"Come over this weekend," Brittany said as they reluctantly broke apart. Tina didn't hesitate to write down the address.
*
Tina stayed over at Brittany's on Saturday night. Tina's parents were so amazed that she was making new friends, instead of withdrawing into herself, like she had been doing all year, that they didn't bother to ask whether Brittany's parents would be home or not. They did come home eventually, but several hours after Tina breathlessly left her virginity with Brittany (she didn't miss it).
They lay on Brittany's bed and Brittany teased at Tina's bare skin as they talked and talked. Tina told Brittany what felt like her entire life story. Brittany told Tina about dolphins and crazy history conspiracies and whatever came to mind. Tina was smitten, no matter how silly Brittany became. She tangled her fingernails in Brittany's hair and pretended to herself that they didn't have to go back to school on Monday.
*
School happened, though. Another week of different social circles, of watching Brittany chase after Santana and Quinn, and Tina was beginning to feel jealous of them. She wasn't going to submit herself to Sue's frightening leadership, even for really great sex. She wondered what would happen if she just took Brittany's hand one day. Would Brittany even acknowledge her?
"The lion never comes to our world," Brittany said worriedly, and one of these days, Tina really should convince her to give up the ridiculous Narnia references, but then Brittany was unfastening her corset, and Tina became too distracted.
After the initial strong burst of their relationship, however, Brittany's interest seemed to die down. She began to forget to meet Tina in their stairwell, and her weekends were often stolen by Quinn or Santana or something else.
"I have a date tonight," Brittany said quite baldly one day as they were sitting there. She ran her fingers through her ponytail. "The really short guy on the football team is taking me out. The one I haven't slept with."
Tina clutched her hands in her lap. She told herself that she should have expected this, that this was the only way that this relationship could have worked itself out, and that Brittany had the memory of a goldfish sometimes and had probably forgotten she had a sort-of girlfriend when the guy asked.
"What are we, Brittany?" she asked in a very small voice.
"You're my friend, right?" Brittany answered, sounding oddly concerned. She tipped Tina's head up, and Tina shook her head quickly so that Brittany didn't see her watery eyes.
"My mom is here," she declared, even though her mom wouldn't be for another ten minutes, and she stood outside in the heat until her mom appeared.
She didn't come to the stairwell again the next day.
*
It hurt for a while, realizing how little she had meant to Brittany after all, but it was something she dealt with anyway, in her own quiet way. She found a new place to sit -- in the choir room, since Glee practice only happened about once a week. She was always a little concerned that someone would ask why she was there in the back with her backpack tucked against her legs, but no one ever did. Mr. Ryerson and the Glee kids seemed caught up in their own drama. That was a welcome distraction from her own.
The next year, she took a chance and signed up, along with Artie. He'd impressed her with his casual singing in the cafeteria, and her mother had been gently encouraging her to pick up an extracurricular. (She'd looked for Brittany that summer at the camp talent show, but to no avail. Not that she knew what she'd do if Brittany came.)
She could sing. She wasn't going to think about the first person who really made her believe it. At least, not until the choir door opened and Quinn sauntered in, followed by Brittany and Santana. Tina felt her heart pounding in her ears.
Brittany's gaze swept the room and lighted on Tina. Tina stared back uncertainly. Brittany smiled.
"This might be fun," Brittany said, still looking at Tina, and Tina would be lying if she refused to admit that her heart wasn't pounding again, just like old times. She'd do her best to resist, but her eyes were already following Brittany in the choreography. Her skin still remembered the press of Brittany's hands.
She liked Artie. She pursued Artie, and that worked out very well until it didn't, until she realized she was repeating a painful pattern and she wasn't going to do that again.
Meanwhile, Brittany learned how to be loyal to Glee. That was a start. That was important. Because one day, Tina wanted to kiss her again, and have it mean something this time. Something that could last.
Nowadays, while she waited for her mom, she thought about duets that she and Brittany could sing.