Prompt Post #7

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Fill: Beautifully Wrong 11c/? – ftm!Blaine/Kurt, Andersons – dysphoria, transphobia, homophobia

[ilovescarves89]

Kurt wondered sometimes where it came from. He knew that, even though Blaine wasn't exactly rich, his father did come from respectable money, and had disappointed his family by marrying “beneath” him and choosing a middle-of-the-road job. Before Kurt had met Cooper, he had thought that Blaine's behavior was the result of a strict upbringing. However, the more he learned about Blaine and his family and the more he thought about it, Kurt realized that it was simply in Blaine's nature to be as unfailingly polite and proper as possible. And if he thought about it a bit longer, it occurred to him that the way Blaine was always so perfect and eager to please, constantly striving to do and be better, might be him seeking approval from the parents to whom he was so certain that he was a disappointment. The idea made him sad, and Kurt thought that if anyone had a right to be disappointed it was Blaine.

The point was, Kurt thought, as Sebastian moved from his long-winded and smirky greeting to basically admitting that he stalked Blaine online, that where Kurt could sometimes be a bit cynical and snarky, Blaine was wonderfully warm and kind, the type of person who was always open to strangers, and who liked to see the best in people, and Kurt loved that about him. He really did.

The only problem was cases like Sebastian Smythe, where “the best” was so deeply buried it might as well be non-existent. The guy was creepy, wouldn't take no for an answer and gave off major stalker vibes, but still Blaine didn't have the heart to put his foot down and tell Sebastian to leave him the hell alone. It made Kurt sick to think about Sebastian texting and flirting with Blaine, not because he doubted Blaine - even if it weren't for his obvious intimacy issues, Blaine would never cheat - but because Sebastian made Kurt's skin crawl, and he didn't want the guy anywhere near his boyfriend.

And when Blaine left to get another coffee, Kurt told Sebastian as much, which resulted in the two of them slinging insults at each other, only dropping it when Blaine returned. Later as they were making their way home, Kurt brought up the topic again.

'About Sebastian... Are you planning on ever telling him to stop following you around?'

'Not especially, no,' Blaine replied distractedly, more concerned with keeping an eye on traffic.

'Do you like having him follow you around?' Kurt went on, although he was pretty sure he knew the answer.

'He's harmless, Kurt,' Blaine said, an edge of impatience in his voice.

'He's creepy.'

'He is not creepy. I know he takes some getting used to but--'

'Why are you defending him?' Kurt interrupted, raising his voice a little and getting annoyed.

'I'm not def-- I'm just saying that he may not be as bad as you make him out to be. Maybe he's just trying to make friends in his own weird way.'

'Oh, I think he has a bit more than friendship on his mind,' Kurt shot back. 'Are you really that naive? Or do you just enjoy having him flirt with you?'

'Oh, here we go,' Blaine snapped. 'Jackpot. I was waiting for this.'

'What?'

'You don't trust me!'

'Well, you did lie to me,' Kurt pointed out as calmly as he could given the situation. Why were they fighting all of a sudden? 'I'm not trying to be mean here, but those are the facts, and as much as I want to I can't just magically be over that.'

'I'm sorry. I'm sorry I lied. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.' They turned a corner into Kurt's street, and Blaine took a deep breath, his voice calmer and sincere as he went on. 'You know how much I regret that. But you also know that there was a very specific reason I did that, and Sebastian has nothing to do with any that. You really think I'd cheat on you? I've told you. I'm not. Interested. In. Sebastian.'

'Okay, I believe that,' Kurt replied honestly, but he persisted, realizing that Sebastian wasn't actually the real problem, anyway. 'Just answer me this then: Would you be happier if he just went away?'

Fill: Beautifully Wrong 11d/? – ftm!Blaine/Kurt, Andersons – dysphoria, transphobia, homophobia

[ilovescarves89]

Blaine shrugged. 'Probably, yeah.'

'Then why won't you make him?'

'Because...' Blaine sighed as they pulled into driveway in front of Kurt's house, and Blaine turned off the ignition, looking straight ahead as he answered the question. 'Because he's a Warbler, and I don't want to risk burning that bridge. You know how much those guys mean to me. Why does this upset you so much, anyway? It's not you he's bothering.'

'Because if you can't handle telling someone you don't even like to leave you alone or to, you know, behave like a decent human being, then how are you going to handle the really difficult conversations with me?'

'Like what?'

Kurt bit his lip. He hated saying it. He didn't want to be the asshole that made everything about this, but at the same time he couldn't pretend that it didn't matter or that he wasn't worried.

'Like... sex.' Blaine looked immediately and obviously uncomfortable, and he got out of the car without saying anything, and Kurt followed, voice raised as he went on, 'See? This is what I'm talking about.'

'Alright, let's do it now then,' Blaine yelled standing on the other side of the car and throwing his arms into the air. For one wild moment Kurt thought that by “do it” he meant “have sex”, and he gaped, but then Blaine continued, 'Let's talk about it now. Will that make you happy?'

Kurt almost shouted something he would have been sure to regret, but then he caught Blaine's eye, and he let out a long breath, deflating a little and closing his eyes for a moment. When he opened them again, Blaine's expression had softened, and Kurt sent him a sad sort of smile. They were both getting way too worked up about this, and it wasn't helping. Blaine walked to the front of the car and leaned against the hood. A second later Kurt joined him.

'Look, Blaine,' he began, staring at his feet and speaking softly. 'I'm trying. But I'm kinda fumbling in the dark here. I haven't done this - any of this - before.' Kurt looked around at Blaine and their eyes met. Blaine smiled softly.

'Me either.' Kurt nodded, shivering a little in the cold December air.

'So... let's figure it out together. Come on.' Kurt nodded his head towards the front door. 'It's freezing. Let's get inside. I'm dying for some hot chocolate.' Kurt stopped outside the door, turning back to look at Blaine. 'But later, do you think we can talk? About the sex issue? It doesn't have to be big. Really, it doesn't. Just five minutes to figure out where we stand.'

'Okay,' Blaine nodded determinedly. 'I can handle five minutes.'

The actual conversation, when they got to it later in the afternoon, turned out every bit as uncomfortable as Kurt had expected. It felt strange for Kurt to be taking the lead in this, having always believed that, of the two of them, Blaine - despite being nine months younger - was the more sexually confident. In reality, however, Blaine was anything but, crossing his arms uncomfortably throughout most of the conversation and half the time looking anywhere but at Kurt - who, for his part, struggled to keep his stammering and blushing to a minimum. It was better to have the conversation now, though, Kurt felt, rather than wait for some passionate make out session to get out of hand. So yes, it was quite possibly the most awkward conversation the two of them had had yet, but it was clear and honest, and by the end of it both of them knew where the other stood, not to mention Kurt knew what to call certain body parts and which of them were off limits.

When Blaine got oddly quiet and thoughtful afterward, barely commenting on the rerun of The Bachelorette that they ended up watching, Kurt attributed it to the lingering awkwardness around the conversation. Trent had warned Kurt that Blaine didn't like conversation to focus on his transgender identity, and it didn't occur to Kurt that there could be more than that on Blaine's mind.