Prompt Post #7
Welcome to the Glee Angst Meme again! You know how these things work. You can come here and prompt your most angsty prompts, and write stories filling those angsty prompts to let our characters suffer.
Page A Mod Post
Rules Post
PP7 Discussion Post
Lonely Prompts Post
Please remember to place any Trigger Warnings in the subject line of your ( Read more... )
Page A Mod Post
Rules Post
PP7 Discussion Post
Lonely Prompts Post
Please remember to place any Trigger Warnings in the subject line of your ( Read more... )
'This is not something you turn down,' she informs you in a firm voice, trying to reason with you. 'Do you know what I would have given for an opportunity like this?'
You look away from your mother, only to catch a reflection of the two of you in the mirror on the opposite wall. It strikes you suddenly how much more she and you look alike with each day that passes. Her skin tone is a little darker than yours, but your face shape, mouth and eyes are the same, and your body is even starting to curve like hers. When you look back at her and respond, your tone is more apologetic than defiant.
'Well, I'm not you.'
*
Blaine yawned as he entered the kitchen early on Thursday morning. He felt kind of like he hadn't slept at all, and he wanted nothing more than to crawl back into bed and hide from everything.
'Morning,' he called unenthusiastically to his mother who was finishing a bowl of cereal while she checked emails on her phone.
'Morning,' she called back without taking her eyes off the phone, her greeting as distracted as Blaine's had been tired.
Blaine poured himself a large cup of what he hoped was really strong coffee and took a swig, before throwing together a quick breakfast. His mind was working twice as slow as it usually did in the mornings, and what little brain activity he did have was focused on the events of the previous evening and worrying about what he was going to tell Kurt when he saw him.
'Big day today,' his mother announced as he joined her at the table.
'Yeah,' Blaine agreed, his stomach doing an excited swoop. He had almost forgotten about the musical.
'This could mean huge things,' she went on. 'Huge.'
'What?' Blaine didn't understand what she was getting at.
'For the company.' Oh. Of course she was talking about her Big Meeting. 'If everything goes as planned, we could be landing the biggest deal the company has ever seen.'
'Great.' Blaine's mother missed his sarcasm.
'But it also means I'll be home pretty late,' she informed him, as she went through her purse. 'So do you think you could take care of dinner yourself tonight?' She handed him a fifty-dollar bill.
'Sure.' Blaine accepted the money. 'I was planning to go out with friends tonight, anyway. You know, to celebrate.'
'Celebrate?' His mother had become distracted again, her focus once again on her phone.
'Yeah, the musical. We premiere tonight.' Blaine was careful to keep his voice even.
'Oh?' she finished typing something and put her phone down for the moment. 'Oh! Yes, of course. I knew that.' She paused. 'You know I would have loved to be there, right?'
'Yeah, clearly,' Blaine muttered low enough that he didn't think his mother could hear. And at any rate her attention was once again on her phone as it pinged with a new message, and she frowned its content.
'Mom?' He asked tentatively after a few moments.
'Hm?'
'You know Kurt, right?'
'Mm-hm, your boyfriend.' Her frown at the phone was growing deeper and deeper, and she typed out a fast reply to whomever she was in contact with.
'Yes. Well, it's getting kind of serious... I mean, we've been together nearly eight months... and, well, I love him. I really do. But, you know, it's difficult because he doesn't-- I mean, I'm wondering how to--'
'Oh, for Pete's sake!' his mother exclaimed suddenly a moment after her phone had pinged again, and Blaine jumped. 'You have got to be kidding me. Oh, I'm going to strangle him.' She got to her feet, a frantic look on her face, and deposited the empty cereal bowl by the sink. 'I'm sorry, sweetie, what were you saying?'
'Nothing, nothing,' Blaine replied quickly. Why did he even keep trying? 'It's not important.'
Ten seconds later the front door slammed, and she was gone.
Reply
'Hey,' Blaine greeted cheerily, pointing over his shoulder. 'Your locker is that way, you know.'
'Yeah, I know, I've already got my things,' Kurt responded, ignoring Blaine's attempt at a joke. 'I got here early. I wasn't going to let you get away with avoiding me.'
'I wasn't going to,' Blaine lied quickly, but Kurt just raised an eyebrow at him and it was clear he wasn't buying it. Kurt knew him too well by now. And not well enough at all.
Blaine busied himself with collecting the things he needed for his first lessons, but he could feel Kurt's eyes on him the entire time. When Blaine finally slammed his locker shut, Kurt took him by the hand and began leading him down the hall.
'Kurt, what're you--' Blaine objected as he half-stumbled after Kurt. 'We'll be late for class.'
'We have fifteen minutes,' Kurt informed him, and a moment later they stepped into the empty auditorium.
'What are we doing here?' Blaine asked as he followed Kurt slowly down the steps.
'We need to talk.' Kurt stopped at the bottom of the stairs right in front of the stage. 'And I didn't think either of us would be comfortable in the middle of the hallway.'
'Kurt--' Blaine began but Kurt held up a hand to stop him.
'I'm sorry. About last night.'
'You've said that already,' Blaine pointed out as he descended the last few steps and moved to lean against a seat on the front row, his arms crossed over his chest. 'And it's okay, Kurt. I wasn't upset with you. I was just...'
'Upset,' Kurt finished for him, and Blaine nodded. 'I totally misread the situation, though. I shouldn't have just assumed you'd be fine.'
Blaine had no real answer to that, so he just shrugged and walked up the length of the stage, climbing the stairs in the middle, not really sure where he was going or what he was doing, except he felt like he needed to not be standing still.
'I guess you just always seemed so comfortable with everything,' Kurt went on, clearly trying to engage Blaine and make him talk. 'I really thought we were just waiting for me.'
Blaine knew that Kurt was thinking about last year and Blaine's attempts to talk to him about sex. He wondered vaguely if Kurt also knew that he had gone to Kurt's dad in his eagerness to help. That had been different though, all that, and much easier, because he and Kurt weren't together then, and everything said was theoretical and didn't involve Blaine.
'I'm sorry, too,' Blaine offered as Kurt joined him on the stage. 'I shouldn't have taken off like that. I was just... overwhelmed.'
Kurt stepped closer, standing so near that Blaine could feel his warm breath on his nose. He took Blaine's hand in his, lacing their fingers together and holding their hands between them over their hearts.
'We'll take it at whatever pace you're comfortable with, okay?' Kurt reassured softly. 'But Blaine, can I ask? Is there something deeper behind this?' Blaine's eyes widened, and he felt his heart rate pick up. 'I just feel like maybe your reaction was a bit extreme for it be just...'
Kurt trailed off with a shrug, trying to seem unconcerned, but Blaine could see he was worried.
'What? No, of course not. I just wasn't expecting it,' Blaine insisted.
But Kurt persisted. 'But you were literally shaking, Blaine.'
Blaine swallowed. This was it. He could tell Kurt right now. They were alone and Kurt was asking. His hand was squeezing Blaine's gently, and as Blaine looked into Kurt's eyes, so open and concerned, it seemed like the perfect opportunity.
Reply
'You didn't think--' Kurt hesitated, biting his lip. 'You didn't think I was going to hurt you, did you?'
'What?' Blaine exclaimed, taken aback. 'No! God, no.'
'Then what?' A thought seemed to occur to him then and he let go of Blaine, suddenly pale. 'Oh god, you weren't-- You didn't-- I mean, did someone-- Did something happen to you?'
Blaine's mouth fell open as he realized what Kurt was asking.
'No. Just no. Nothing like that,' Blaine promised in a firm voice. 'It just really caught me off guard. It was already a long intense day, and then with Sebastian at the bar, and the drinking, and I just... I overreacted, and I'm sorry.'
'Okay, good.' Kurt breathed a sigh of relief, calming himself. 'I've just been making myself crazy since last night, thinking there was something you weren't telling me.'
'There isn't,' Blaine promised and then winced internally, because this was the first time he had downright lied to Kurt, and he hated how it made him feel.
Just one more week, Blaine told himself. One more week and the play is done, and this will all be over one way or another.
*
'Knock, knock,' comes a playful voice from the doorway and you turn to see your father there, all smiles and carrying one of his expensive cameras. 'How are my two favorite ladies? Anything you want to show off yet?' He points excitedly to the camera.
'Dad.' Your voice is frantic and desperate as you turn to him next. 'Please don't make me go to Crawford.'
'What?' Your father stares confusedly from you to his wife, clearly looking for some kind of context, and she shrugs, equally perplexed.
'I've told her she doesn't have to board if she doesn't want to, but--'
'It's not about that,' you're quick to reiterate. 'I just really don't want to go to that school.'
'What's the problem?' your father inquires, frowning and his tone worried. He deposits the camera on the dresser next to him, before taking a few more steps into the room. 'Crawford is a fine school. I've heard plenty of good things about it. Your cousin Katie went there, you know.'
'Please,' you beg, your voice almost a whisper. You can feel the tears threatening to spill over, but you force them back. 'Just let me go to the public high school. Tell grandma thanks but no thanks.'
'What is this really about? Hm?' Your father walks to stand right in front of you, and as he gently tilts your face up to look at you properly, you can't stop your bottom lip from trembling. 'Sweetheart?'
'Just say I don't have to go,' you plead, your voice quivering too now. 'Please, Daddy.'
Your father takes you by the hand then and leads you to sit on the edge of the bed, before kneeling in front of you. You can sense your mother somewhere behind you, unsure and hovering.
'Now, explain to me what the problem is. Why are you so upset about this?'
Reply
'Because--' you begin, first speaking to your father's tie, but then you lift your gaze to look him straight in the eye instead, forcing yourself to give off an air of calm far from your actual state of mind. 'Because it's a girls' school. And-- and I'm not a girl.' Your father's face remains completely impassive at these words, and behind you your mother isn't moving a muscle. 'I think-- I feel like... I feel like I should have been a boy.'
'Sweetie, that isn't something you joke about,' your mother tells you seriously and you twist to look at her as she walks around the bed to stand next to your father.
'It's not a joke,' you inform her calmly. 'I feel like a boy. I have for a long time. It's called being transgender.'
At the last word your mother's mouth falls open a little bit and your father sucks in a quick breath. You turn your gaze back to him, then back at your mother and back and forth between them, frantically searching for some kind of reaction.
'I just can't do it anymore, it's too much.' You drop your calm facade, choking the words out in a trembling voice that keeps breaking, and you shake your head from side to side, now looking anywhere but at your parents. 'I tried so hard. To be normal. To be right. To be what you wanted me to be, but I just can't, and it just hurts so much to keep trying.'
Your father stills you and stops your stream of words with one strong hand on your shoulder and another warm hand gently touching your cheek. Your breath is shallow and your throat is hurting with the effort of not crying. Your father's face is pained with heartbreak and you don't know whether it's for you or him, but that's when you feel the first tear roll thickly down your left cheek.
'Please just don't send me to Crawford. Please,' you sob out as the tears begin to fall for real. Then the next thing you know, you're on the floor and your father has scooped you up in his arms, cradling you like a small child.
'Shh, it's okay, Amber,' he murmurs soothingly, and though part of you is afraid he has missed the point entirely, you're just so relieved that no one is yelling at you. 'You don't have to go. We'll figure it out. We'll figure it all out, okay?'
'I'm sorry, I'm sorry,' is the only thing you can say between sobs as you burrow deeper and deeper into your father's warm embrace. 'I'm so sorry.'
Reply
Leave a comment