Prompt Post #7
Welcome to the Glee Angst Meme again! You know how these things work. You can come here and prompt your most angsty prompts, and write stories filling those angsty prompts to let our characters suffer.
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"Well, it would have been hard to, considering the evidence was all there in pink and purple frosting," Wes admitted reluctantly. "But most of it was still all your fault!"
Blaine laughed, sitting on the bed in Wes' dorm room with Kurt. "I'm glad we got the chance to come visit this weekend. We miss all the good stories now that we don't get to see you all as often."
"Well, that's what you get for deserting us for Kurt and McKinley," Wes responded good-naturedly.
"He's still fretting over our loss to New Directions," David stage whispered. "I'm pretty sure he has been searching out criminal world contacts to kidnap Blaine back to the Warblers next year. He would probably try to keep you from graduating and kidnap you back to the Warblers as well Kurt if he could figure out how."
"Wes has criminal world contacts?" Kurt inquired amusedly.
"Wes has plans for world domination. I'm sure he's on the lookout at all times. Ruling the world with an iron gavel," David snorted.
"And now you're just making fun of me," Wes sniffed. "For that, I'm going to take David and go to practice. And you two can just sit and think about what kind of attitude you better develop towards me before I rule the world."
"You have practice on a Saturday?" Blaine inquired. "That's a little unusual, isn't it? Regionals are over."
"We unfortunately have a lot of work to do," David responded. "We have had to rearrange whole songs since Sebastian decided he didn't want to be part of the group anymore."
Blaine looked up, surprised. "Sebastian quit the Warblers? When did this happen? He's your lead singer!"
Kurt looked unimpressed. "What, was he disappointed he couldn't sing everything by himself while the rest of you mimed your eternal devotion to his Royal Horse Teeth in the background?"
Blaine shot Kurt a disapproving glance.
"I know, I know. I'm being petty. But he hurt you. I know he's trying to make things better, and I applaud his attempts at trying to act like an actual human, but he hurt you. So I will continue to make sarcastic comments outside his earshot until I feel better about him."
Blaine sighed. But it was still better than the former vows of pain and destruction Kurt had been wishing upon Sebastian, so he supposed he would take whatever small amount of progress he could.
Wes looked uncomfortable. "We aren't really sure what's going on with Sebastian. He's all but stopped talking to any of us. After he threw that slushie that hurt Blaine, things were kind of....tense between Sebastian and the rest of the Warblers. We couldn't really condone that kind of violence. Not against anyone, but especially against you, Blaine. A lot of us were pretty upset with him. But he's pretty locked in his own head and his own feelings. He wouldn't see things from anyone else's standpoint. He refused to listen to reason. But I do think what happened with Karofsky really shook him up. I think for the first time he really saw what kind of consequences his actions could have on others. And I'm not sure he liked what he saw. But he's stubborn, and any time you try to talk seriously with him, he just gets defensive and sarcastic. One day he just came in, announced he had other priorities that needed to be addressed, and quit."
David nodded. "You might want to take a look at his Facebook page. That's about the only way any of us have any idea what's going on in his head. He still posts rather regularly, and some of it is kind of...," David seemed to be searching for a tactful way to end the sentence when Wes came to his rescue.
"Disturbing," Wes finished for him. We can't get through to him. I don't know. Maybe you two can do what we can't. Just check it out. David and I have to go, but we will check back with you later."
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"Do you really think there's a reason for concern? Sebastian likes to surround himself with drama. He's probably just waiting and expecting the Warblers to come crawling back to him and tell him how much they need him."
Blaine scrolled through the webpage slowly. "I don't know, Kurt. Sebastian is hard to read behind all that attitude. But after Karofsky, I just don't want to make a mistake and really wish I hadn't later, you know? We got lucky once that we got a second chance to help someone. I don't want to be left wondering what could have been."
Kurt leaned against Blaine, reading over his shoulder. "I know. I just.....don't want things to be that serious. I prefer to think Sebastian is just being his usual annoying self. Because the other reasons for his behavior....," Kurt trailed off.
"I know, I don't want that either," Blaine admitted. "Here we go, this is about two weeks ago, when Sebastian quit."
After several minutes of quiet scrolling and reading Blaine looked towards Kurt, who had moved from his position and was sitting pensively with his arms crossed protectively in front of him.
"I'm thinking there may really be an issue here," Blaine admitted quietly, almost hoping Kurt would respond in the negative and tell him he was overreacting.
"I think you're right," Kurt agreed, stomach tightening uncomfortably in knots. "Because this last line here, in the post from today, does that sound like a...."
"Suicide note?" Blaine's voice faltered, "Yeah, it does."
"Do you know what room Sebastian is in?" Kurt's voice was tense with fear.
"I do," Blaine responded, nodding. "I'm thinking a trip up there is in order."
"Quickly." Kurt nodded, already moving.
The few minutes it took to reach Sebastian's room seemed far too long for either Kurt or Blaine's liking, and yet when they reached the doorknob, they both paused, fearing what opening the door might lead to. Images of them being too late and Sebastian already being gone, of Sebastian being mortally injured, of Sebastian being outwardly fine but shutting down and refusing to talk to them and leaving them fearing what the next visit might bring. Blaine steeled himself, reached for Kurt's hand, and in one continuous movement, knocked on the door, called Sebastian's name, and then opened the door and stepped in, Kurt right behind him.
Of all the things Kurt had anticipated possibly finding behind the closed door, this was not one of them. Kurt had given some consideration to what his response would be if Sebastian was fine and angry at them for barging into his room, or if he was not fine and they actually needed to talk him out of a suicide attempt, or if, Heaven forbid, they were too late, But this....was definitely not fine, and could possibly be a suicide attempt, but Kurt didn't want to make any assumptions, because while Sebastian's current actions were currently translating into Not Ok very clearly, if it was a suicide attempt.......he wasn't doing a very good job of it. Kurt squashed that thought down as fast as he could, because that was just taking his feelings about Sebastian to new levels of petty. He was pretty sure he was going to mess this up. His thoughts were disjointed and scattered as he tried to come up with the best response to the situation he had just walked into.
Because Sebastian, sitting at his desk chair with his laptop in front of him and a small wooden box perched on the edge of the desk next to him, was carefully adding to the four or five lines of red Kurt could see dripping down his upper arm another line of crimson below the original ones.
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Sebastian's head had snapped up in their direction as the two boys entered the room. Kurt watched as several different emotions washed over Sebastian's face in rapid succession. Surprise, fear, denial, and, the one which seemed to be currently winning out, anger.
"Well if it isn't the Queen of Cashmere and her beloved, escaped from his home in the Shire. Forget what a closed door means, boys? I know McKinley's not much better than an upbringing in a barn, but I would assume it hasn't been so long you don't remember what knocking is for. It gives the other person a chance to deny you entry!" Sebastian hissed the last statement at them as he rapidly threw on the button-up shirt hanging on the back of his chair.
Kurt felt his eyebrows raise upwards in disbelief. Was Sebastian really going to try to pretend they didn't see what they had just walked in on? Did he really think they would just let the damage fall out of eyesight and out of mind?
"Feel free to leave now!" Sebastian glared at them.
Ok, so apparently he was. Kurt looked blankly at Blaine. What was he supposed to say? Kurt felt completely out of his league trying to field this minefield. Blaine looked equally at a loss.
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Sebastian looked like he couldn't decide whether to go on the defensive or offensive. "I didn't mean anything by it! I was just venting in a blog. If you little girls didn't get so upset over stupid things people put on the internet all the time, you probably wouldn't all be making yourselves so paranoid!"
Kurt spoke up quietly. "Sebastian.....your sleeve is turning red. And dripping. Do you honestly think we don't have reason to be concerned?"
Sebastian glared. "It's washable, Fiona Fashion, it will be fine."
Blaine ignored the insults. Sebastian wasn't going to get them to leave by hurling insults and making them mad, if that was what he was hoping.
"I don't think Kurt is concerned about your shirt, Sebastian," he responded dryly.
Kurt looked increasingly concerned. And bordering towards teary. "Sebastian," he implored, "you clearly need to talk to someone. This....is not healthy. You can tell us you are fine until you are blue in the face, but the razors in that box next to you.....are a pretty good indication that you are not ok. At all."
Sebastian didn't look ready to give up. "So I'm unhappy. Who isn't? And just because I choose to deal with it this way, doesn't mean that I'm going to cut too deep and finish the job!"
Blaine took his phone out of his pocket and started reading from the screen. "I've had it. With myself, and everyone else. No one sees me. I don't even see me. I don't know who I'm supposed to be anymore. My parent's perfect son. The Warbler's charismatic lead singer. The guy who sleeps around too much. Who doesn't have enough respect for other people. For himself. Who hurts other people without thinking. Karofsky, I am sorry. Blaine I didn't mean to hurt you as badly as I did. But don't worry. Kurt, Blaine, Karofsky, everyone, you won't have to worry much longer. I won't be in a position to cause anyone else any issues soon enough." Blaine looked steadily at Sebastian, who had stood up as Blaine read, and whose eyes seemed to be desperately sliding around the room in search of....something.
Blaine casually stepped in front of the open door, Kurt shifting towards his side and blocking Sebastian from an easy exit.
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Sebastian's defenses were faltering. He tried to rally them back up around him. "I wasn't trying to kill myself just then you know. You need to stop acting like you are talking me down off a bridge somewhere. It's not a big deal!"
"You cut yourself with a razorblade." Kurt spoke flatly.
Sebastian snorted. "Little emo girls with bad haircuts all over the country manage to do that. It's hardly even a problem anymore. It's a fashion trend."
Kurt sighed. Why did Sebastian have to make things so difficult? Even in the midst of his own imminent breakdown he still managed to alienate and judge thousands of other teens out there dealing with their own problems. In the same manner as he was, no less. He's trying to get you to dislike him enough to leave him alone and let him hurt himself, Kurt reminded himself firmly. Don't let him push you away.
"It is a big deal," Kurt responded, "as much as you try to convince yourself otherwise. And don't think I didn't notice you say you weren't trying to kill yourself 'just then'. Can you honestly tell me that you have never thought about killing yourself, and you weren't considering doing it at some point in the future, even if you weren't when we walked in?"
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Sebastian seemed defeated. He wasn't denying Kurt's statement, but he didn't seem eager to continue talking either. Kurt knew they had to get Sebastian to someone who would get him help before he had a chance to build all the walls around him up again and they would have a much harder time convincing an adult that their star student was slowly self-destructing. Sebastian slid behind a mask of Proper Dalton Academy Student too well, and Kurt needed to get him help before the mask slipped back into place.
"I almost lost someone once because I ignored the signs when he was asking for help," Kurt said, "and I can't let that happen again. Sebastian, I want you to get help. Blaine wants you to get help. But it isn't going to work if you don't want to get help."
Blaine stepped towards Sebastian and put a hand on his shoulder. "The guidance counselor here is really supportive, Sebastian. I went to her a few times after I first started at Dalton and was having nightmares about things that happened at my old school. She can set you up with the help you need. And we will be there for you as much as we can. And Wes and David are always here. They will want to help, I know they will. Please let us help you?"
Sebastian was quiet for so long Blaine was almost sure he was going to turn them down and they would have to go to the counselor against his wishes and behind his back. Blaine didn't want to have to do that, but he didn't trust that Sebastian was in a state of mind where he would feel comfortable just leaving him until he decided he needed help himself. But then Sebastian surprised him.
"You aren't going to let this go if I tell you no, are you, Hobbit?" Blaine was so relieved that he hadn't received an outright no from Sebastian that he barely registered the hobbit insult.
"No, we aren't. So you might as well make it easy on yourself now and come with us." Blaine extended a hand, and waited.
Sebastian looked blankly at the hand, then shook his head. "I don't need you babysitting me. But I'll go if it will keep you two from turning on the waterworks. Or the displays of support and fairy dust and rainbows and unicorns and other sickeningly sweet things."
Blaine just smiled. "We will try to control the unicorns. But you need to go now. And we are coming with you until you get into her office."
Sebastian rolled his eyes. "Fine. But when I tell her what's going on and she sends me after you two for a visit since you are obviously much more screwed up than I am, don't say I didn't warn you."
Kurt nodded. "We'll chance it. Come on."
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Sebastian sat rigidly in the chair, running his fingers nervously over his reddened shirtsleeve. Kurt glanced over at him. "I know how hard this is for you, but I'm glad you are taking the first step, Sebastian."
Sebastian shrugged. "Not like there were a lot of choices left. Couldn't exactly let you two camp out indefinitely in my room. The room value was lessening every moment your McKinley germs were filtering through the air."
"You will get through this," Kurt reassured. "You don't have to do it alone."
Sebastian just stared at his hands. "I don't know if I'm strong enough."
At that moment Blaine and a older woman in glasses came out through the office doors. The counselor ushered Sebastian into the inner office, and Blaine turned to Kurt.
"They know something is wrong now, so at least we can be sure someone will be watching to make sure he doesn't do something totally irreversible," Blaine sighed, "and I'm sure they will get him help for the self-injury and low self-esteem issues. We should head over to the Warblers practice and let them know what we can. It isn't our place to give out too much information that needs to be Sebastian's to choose to share, but we can at least let them know that Sebastian is going to need their help. And ours."
Kurt slipped his arms around Blaine and just stood against him, breathing. Both of them knew what just happened could have had a much different outcome, and in the aftermath, both needed the comfort. After several minutes, Kurt leaned in and whispered, "He's going to need our support. We need to keep making sure he knows he can come to us when he needs to. Or just wants to."
Blaine responded softly and Kurt smiled back at him. Reaching into his pocket, Kurt pulled out his phone and after searching through his contacts, sent a one word text to Sebastian's number.
Strength
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