Welcome to the Glee Angst Meme again! You know how these things work. You can come here and prompt your most angsty prompts, and write stories filling those angsty prompts to let our characters suffer
( Read more... )
FILLED: Wrong (3/?)
anonymous
December 12 2011, 21:42:08 UTC
3. The earliest possible flight Kurt can get on isn’t until 5 am, so he spends some of the longest hours of his life, pacing the small dorm room back and forth, crying, panicking and raging in turns, while Danny is being a good friend trying to get him to calm down and think rationally. Of course, Kurt knows he can’t do anything more from here, but nothing can turn down his mind, spinning with questions, memories and images.
Blaine. His beloved, beautiful Blaine, always smiling, singing, so full of energy. Blaine wanted to kill himself. No, not just wanted. Tried. And Kurt knew nothing. He had no idea.
He’s gathered all the information he could since the first conversation with his dad. As soon as he found the flight and bought the ticket with his “emergencies only” credit card, he called his father back and demanded to know everything. There wasn’t much. Apparently, Mr. Schuester started the rehearsal today with news that they were one man down for Sectionals. Blaine’s parents had called the school this morning to say that he was in hospital after a suicide attempt. Of course, good old Schue considered it all right to reveal this to the students, so by tomorrow it would be a number one gossip. Kurt saw red just thinking about such indiscretion. How was Blaine supposed to go back there after something like this?
That is… if he comes back at all. If he’s even able to come back. The thought results in another bout of crying so heavy that Danny calls for reinforcements and soon Emily is here, hugging Kurt and not saying it would be all right, just letting him soak the shoulder of her sweater with tears. Because really, it may not be all right at all. He doesn’t even know what Blaine did. How bad it was. How fast he was found and in what condition. He just knows he’s alive. Or he was, this morning.
When he called Tina earlier tonight, she was in tears. She tried to go see Blaine after school, driven by an overwhelming guilt that she hadn’t seen it coming when she was right there, but they said it was family only. They wouldn’t even tell her how he was, nothing. But she told Kurt one thing his father hadn’t. It didn’t just happen. Not this morning or last night. Blaine did whatever he did on Wednesday evening. Two days ago. Two. Whole. Days. This was the last straw that broke Kurt entirely.
He spent the next hour on the floor in a fetal position, bawling. This was how Danny found him when he came back to their room. After a long while of trying - unsuccessfully - to get Kurt to calm down even the slightest bit, he went to his medicine cabinet and came back with some kind of pills, smelling strongly of valerian root. After a while, Kurt felt marginally calmer, enough to explain what happened and pack his bag. Danny was sincerely shocked and sympathetic, and has been trying his very best to help in every possible way since then, but Kurt knows he doesn’t get it, not fully.
Because it isn’t just the fact that the boy he loves tried to commit suicide and Kurt doesn’t even know if he’s mostly fine right now, at least physically, or maybe dying. As crushing as these facts alone are, they are only the beginning of Kurt’s torment. Because then, there’s guilt.
Kurt is blaming himself for what happened. For never realizing that anything was wrong with Blaine. For having less and less time for him, skipping their Skype dates to go out with friends or see a show. For forgetting to text him goodnight a handful of times. For not trying harder to make enough money at the café to be able to go home for Thanksgiving after all.
Thanksgiving. The word alone makes him feel like throwing up. The last time he spoke with Blaine, Kurt told him he wouldn’t come home then. Regretfully, but calmly informed his boyfriend that he’d have to wait another month to see him. And Blaine seemed all right with it, he was smiling and joking. They talked about Christmas, planned the time they’d get to spend together then. And Kurt should have known something was wrong, should have realized that such a reaction couldn’t be genuine, that Blaine was pretending to be fine just to make him feel good. Because he wasn’t fine. Because minutes or at most hours after this conversation Blaine decided he didn’t want to live anymore. Decided to die.
The earliest possible flight Kurt can get on isn’t until 5 am, so he spends some of the longest hours of his life, pacing the small dorm room back and forth, crying, panicking and raging in turns, while Danny is being a good friend trying to get him to calm down and think rationally. Of course, Kurt knows he can’t do anything more from here, but nothing can turn down his mind, spinning with questions, memories and images.
Blaine. His beloved, beautiful Blaine, always smiling, singing, so full of energy. Blaine wanted to kill himself. No, not just wanted. Tried. And Kurt knew nothing. He had no idea.
He’s gathered all the information he could since the first conversation with his dad. As soon as he found the flight and bought the ticket with his “emergencies only” credit card, he called his father back and demanded to know everything. There wasn’t much. Apparently, Mr. Schuester started the rehearsal today with news that they were one man down for Sectionals. Blaine’s parents had called the school this morning to say that he was in hospital after a suicide attempt. Of course, good old Schue considered it all right to reveal this to the students, so by tomorrow it would be a number one gossip. Kurt saw red just thinking about such indiscretion. How was Blaine supposed to go back there after something like this?
That is… if he comes back at all. If he’s even able to come back. The thought results in another bout of crying so heavy that Danny calls for reinforcements and soon Emily is here, hugging Kurt and not saying it would be all right, just letting him soak the shoulder of her sweater with tears. Because really, it may not be all right at all. He doesn’t even know what Blaine did. How bad it was. How fast he was found and in what condition. He just knows he’s alive. Or he was, this morning.
When he called Tina earlier tonight, she was in tears. She tried to go see Blaine after school, driven by an overwhelming guilt that she hadn’t seen it coming when she was right there, but they said it was family only. They wouldn’t even tell her how he was, nothing. But she told Kurt one thing his father hadn’t. It didn’t just happen. Not this morning or last night. Blaine did whatever he did on Wednesday evening. Two days ago. Two. Whole. Days. This was the last straw that broke Kurt entirely.
He spent the next hour on the floor in a fetal position, bawling. This was how Danny found him when he came back to their room. After a long while of trying - unsuccessfully - to get Kurt to calm down even the slightest bit, he went to his medicine cabinet and came back with some kind of pills, smelling strongly of valerian root. After a while, Kurt felt marginally calmer, enough to explain what happened and pack his bag. Danny was sincerely shocked and sympathetic, and has been trying his very best to help in every possible way since then, but Kurt knows he doesn’t get it, not fully.
Because it isn’t just the fact that the boy he loves tried to commit suicide and Kurt doesn’t even know if he’s mostly fine right now, at least physically, or maybe dying. As crushing as these facts alone are, they are only the beginning of Kurt’s torment. Because then, there’s guilt.
Kurt is blaming himself for what happened. For never realizing that anything was wrong with Blaine. For having less and less time for him, skipping their Skype dates to go out with friends or see a show. For forgetting to text him goodnight a handful of times. For not trying harder to make enough money at the café to be able to go home for Thanksgiving after all.
Thanksgiving. The word alone makes him feel like throwing up. The last time he spoke with Blaine, Kurt told him he wouldn’t come home then. Regretfully, but calmly informed his boyfriend that he’d have to wait another month to see him. And Blaine seemed all right with it, he was smiling and joking. They talked about Christmas, planned the time they’d get to spend together then. And Kurt should have known something was wrong, should have realized that such a reaction couldn’t be genuine, that Blaine was pretending to be fine just to make him feel good. Because he wasn’t fine. Because minutes or at most hours after this conversation Blaine decided he didn’t want to live anymore. Decided to die.
Reply
Thanks so much for filling. :) x
Reply
Reply
Leave a comment