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FILL Act 1 Part 2 Klaine a la "Me & My Dick"
anonymous
December 11 2011, 07:54:19 UTC
Kurt walked through the doors of Mckinley high school and paused. "Sigh," He said dramatically, "Blaine Anderson. Late again, in the nick of time, huh? Jeepers… that Blaine Anderson really makes me feel funny. Right here," he placed a hand over his heart, "right here," he patted his stomach, "… and right here…" Kurt's hand traveled down to his zipper, gently patting the warm bulge beneath it.
Kurt's penis shuffled a little, and asked, in a loud southern accent, "My, my, my is it hot in here, or is it just me?"
"Oh, Peter, it's just you," Kurt said, smiling down at his own long, thin penis, "I am not hot at all, in any sense of the word."
"Are you sure?" Peter asked, attempting to fan himself by flopping around as much as possible, "Cause I am sure the sun is burning particularly bright this morning. I could go for a tall glass of lemonade, I am sweating like a stuck pig." And he was, the sweat dripping down the shaft and lightly covering his balls. Kurt sighed.
"Peter, it has nothing to do with temperature. You're just excitable, and a little antsy."
"And frustrated," Peter snapped back.
"What?" Kurt asked, "Why?"
"Because, Kurt," Peter said, "Every day when we go to school and we're walking down the halls or changing in the locker room, I see all the other boys with their little peters and they seem so happy and free. I don't know - aflutter. Twitter pated."
"Peter," Kurt rolled his eyes, "We can't do things like other boys. I mean, in case you haven't noticed, I'm kind of a freak of nature." Peter scoffed. "No, I'm gay, and gangly, and I've got these big dumb feet. I'm like the ugly duckling, except I never turn into a swan. Just an ugly duck."
"Well, that's your problem right there, Mr. Hummel," Peter said, "It's that attitude of yours. You act like you've been licked before you even started fighting."
"Well, I guess I could try to be more positive," Kurt said flatly.
"That's the spirit! Now, you tell me what is one thing you desire most in this whole cosmos."
Kurt blushed, "Well…"
"Come on, Kurt, just say it. You've got a gosh dang shrine devoted to him in your locker."
Kurt thought about his Courage collage and grinned, "Blaine Anderson."
"You should snatch him up like the last bit of cheesecake!" Peter reached up to poke Kurt in the stomach.
"Oh, I don't know, Peter," Kurt pushed him back down, "I don't know that he likes me like that. Why would he?" And he sang - of course -
"Look at me, with my trousers so tight You'd think that I might explode, right? Look at me, with my arms in a twist Not alarming I missed the right road
Peter joined in,
"It's not to late To turn around And find a better way."
Kurt thought about that, adding,
"It's not up to fate To lay the groundwork For a better day!"
"You gotta, shake it up Put your hair down darlin'" Peter sang, "You really need to unwind"
"I gotta pick it up 'Cause my life is calling Me on the other line
It's time to start over And today is like The first day of the year
So get that chip off my shoulder Cause its weighing me down And keeping you right here."
Peter sang, "I want to get out See the great big world out there
It's time to set out 'Cause I feel There's something in the air
I might be losing my mind But there's one thing that I know: That I'm finally ready So ready to go!"
Kurt ripped of his jacket, prompting an excited, "There he goes, y'all!" from Peter, and sang, "Yeah, I'm finally ready So ready to..."
"Yo! You ready to go or what?" And there he was, Blaine Anderson in all of his handsome, well-coiffed glory. Peter gave a leap in Kurt's trousers and groaned, frustrated by the tight material holding him back.
"Yeah!" Kurt said, "Alright, let's go."
Kurt walked with Blaine down the hall, Peter bouncing in front of him and saying, "Mr. Hummel, there he is! You've got to show him what you're made of!"
"Ummm, Blaine?" Kurt asked, "I wanted to ask you, umm… Ask if you, ummm…" Goodness, he was so handsome, thick dark eyebrows and a chiseled jawline. Kurt lost the words faster than he could say them.
FILL Act 1 Part 2 Klaine a la "Me & My Dick"
anonymous
December 11 2011, 07:55:35 UTC
Dick listened with disgust, "You see?" He said to Blaine, "This is exactly what I'm talking about it's like… salad." The word came like a light bulb going off in his head. Salad was the perfect word to describe Kurt he was just all green and willowy and nutritious and just not appealing at all.
"I wanted to know if… If you wanted to be chemistry partners with me." The words rushed out of Kurt in a breath. He tried to take in more air, but Blaine was looking at him, and he couldn't seem to remember how to breathe.
"Poetry," Peter said, "That'll be sure to set his heart afire, come on."
"Okay, well, we're supposed to do this project on several of the elements on the periodic table, and I was thinking we could do one on a saleable compound such as silver nitrate, for example, AgNO3. Except we could make ours fun and interesting because we could do a film noir detective type story between the elements…"
…
Meanwhile, Finn was standing outside his locker with Puck, suddenly nervous and fussing one last time with his hair.
"Hey Puck, does My hair look alright?"
"Hell yeah, buddy You're a sight to see."
Finn sighed, "'Kay good.
Listen up Just try to relax, Cause a mishap's The last thing I need
I wanna rise up To the next level Get off this middle ground
I've got this yearnin' Burnin' like the devil I'm here for the rebound
Pass the ball I know I'm on fire!"
"Yeah, yeah You're on a roll!"
"I know!"
Puck bowed, "What do you want From your kingdom, sire?"
Finn grinned, "I wanna take control!...
I need a brand new game plan No more warming benches Like I've done before."
"Get your head in the game, man!" Puck sang, "Here's what I'm thinking"
Finn grabbed him to shut him up,
"Shit, she's coming Out that door!"
Rachel strolled out of the Spanish room, long Jewish hair flowing in the wind and big brown Jewish eyes. Puck and Finn sighed musically in unison as Rachel took out a tube of lipgloss and dabbed her perfect Jewish lips, blowing a kiss to the wind. Finn sighed, and began to sing, slowly, because this is the Glee universe and the tempo of the song changes with emotion,
"Say yes, Rachel yes, I must confess Of my obsession with your design I will not rest, no, not unless I find a way to make you mine
I'm gonna get her If it's the last thing That I do".
Puck spoke up, "But just remember You can't get her Without me too!"
The boys finished in unison, "So buckle up, all you amateurs 'Cause today were goin' pro We're finally ready So ready to go!"
…
"… And it's only when the silver and the nitrogen find all three oxygens that they're able to solve the case!" Kurt shrieked.
"Slow down, honey," Peter said, patting a calming ball against his thigh.
"Blaine," Kurt finally followed his crushes eyes to where Sebastian was standing in the corner, "Have you been listening to anything I've been saying?"
"Yeah, yeah, it's awesome, it's cool," Blaine was not listening. He was too busy concentrating on the way Dick practically fainted with disappointment as his attention turned to Kurt.
Kurt grinned with relief, "Sigh, Blaine Anderson. Come on, let's go to homeroom!"
Kurt's penis shuffled a little, and asked, in a loud southern accent, "My, my, my is it hot in here, or is it just me?"
"Oh, Peter, it's just you," Kurt said, smiling down at his own long, thin penis, "I am not hot at all, in any sense of the word."
"Are you sure?" Peter asked, attempting to fan himself by flopping around as much as possible, "Cause I am sure the sun is burning particularly bright this morning. I could go for a tall glass of lemonade, I am sweating like a stuck pig." And he was, the sweat dripping down the shaft and lightly covering his balls. Kurt sighed.
"Peter, it has nothing to do with temperature. You're just excitable, and a little antsy."
"And frustrated," Peter snapped back.
"What?" Kurt asked, "Why?"
"Because, Kurt," Peter said, "Every day when we go to school and we're walking down the halls or changing in the locker room, I see all the other boys with their little peters and they seem so happy and free. I don't know - aflutter. Twitter pated."
"Peter," Kurt rolled his eyes, "We can't do things like other boys. I mean, in case you haven't noticed, I'm kind of a freak of nature." Peter scoffed. "No, I'm gay, and gangly, and I've got these big dumb feet. I'm like the ugly duckling, except I never turn into a swan. Just an ugly duck."
"Well, that's your problem right there, Mr. Hummel," Peter said, "It's that attitude of yours. You act like you've been licked before you even started fighting."
"Well, I guess I could try to be more positive," Kurt said flatly.
"That's the spirit! Now, you tell me what is one thing you desire most in this whole cosmos."
Kurt blushed, "Well…"
"Come on, Kurt, just say it. You've got a gosh dang shrine devoted to him in your locker."
Kurt thought about his Courage collage and grinned, "Blaine Anderson."
"You should snatch him up like the last bit of cheesecake!" Peter reached up to poke Kurt in the stomach.
"Oh, I don't know, Peter," Kurt pushed him back down, "I don't know that he likes me like that. Why would he?" And he sang - of course -
"Look at me, with my trousers so tight
You'd think that I might explode, right?
Look at me, with my arms in a twist
Not alarming I missed the right road
Peter joined in,
"It's not to late
To turn around
And find a better way."
Kurt thought about that, adding,
"It's not up to fate
To lay the groundwork
For a better day!"
"You gotta, shake it up
Put your hair down darlin'"
Peter sang,
"You really need to unwind"
"I gotta pick it up
'Cause my life is calling
Me on the other line
It's time to start over
And today is like
The first day of the year
So get that chip off my shoulder
Cause its weighing me down
And keeping you right here."
Peter sang,
"I want to get out
See the great big world out there
It's time to set out
'Cause I feel
There's something in the air
I might be losing my mind
But there's one thing that I know:
That I'm finally ready
So ready to go!"
Kurt ripped of his jacket, prompting an excited, "There he goes, y'all!" from Peter, and sang,
"Yeah, I'm finally ready
So ready to..."
"Yo! You ready to go or what?" And there he was, Blaine Anderson in all of his handsome, well-coiffed glory. Peter gave a leap in Kurt's trousers and groaned, frustrated by the tight material holding him back.
"Yeah!" Kurt said, "Alright, let's go."
Kurt walked with Blaine down the hall, Peter bouncing in front of him and saying, "Mr. Hummel, there he is! You've got to show him what you're made of!"
"Ummm, Blaine?" Kurt asked, "I wanted to ask you, umm… Ask if you, ummm…" Goodness, he was so handsome, thick dark eyebrows and a chiseled jawline. Kurt lost the words faster than he could say them.
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"I wanted to know if… If you wanted to be chemistry partners with me." The words rushed out of Kurt in a breath. He tried to take in more air, but Blaine was looking at him, and he couldn't seem to remember how to breathe.
"Poetry," Peter said, "That'll be sure to set his heart afire, come on."
"… Yeah, sure," Blaine said, looking away. Kurt's penis and heart leaped.
"Okay, well, we're supposed to do this project on several of the elements on the periodic table, and I was thinking we could do one on a saleable compound such as silver nitrate, for example, AgNO3. Except we could make ours fun and interesting because we could do a film noir detective type story between the elements…"
…
Meanwhile, Finn was standing outside his locker with Puck, suddenly nervous and fussing one last time with his hair.
"Hey Puck, does
My hair look alright?"
"Hell yeah, buddy
You're a sight to see."
Finn sighed, "'Kay good.
Listen up
Just try to relax,
Cause a mishap's
The last thing I need
I wanna rise up
To the next level
Get off this middle ground
I've got this yearnin'
Burnin' like the devil
I'm here for the rebound
Pass the ball
I know I'm on fire!"
"Yeah, yeah
You're on a roll!"
"I know!"
Puck bowed,
"What do you want
From your kingdom, sire?"
Finn grinned,
"I wanna take control!...
I need a brand new game plan
No more warming benches
Like I've done before."
"Get your head in the game, man!"
Puck sang, "Here's what I'm thinking"
Finn grabbed him to shut him up,
"Shit, she's coming
Out that door!"
Rachel strolled out of the Spanish room, long Jewish hair flowing in the wind and big brown Jewish eyes. Puck and Finn sighed musically in unison as Rachel took out a tube of lipgloss and dabbed her perfect Jewish lips, blowing a kiss to the wind. Finn sighed, and began to sing, slowly, because this is the Glee universe and the tempo of the song changes with emotion,
"Say yes, Rachel yes, I must confess
Of my obsession with your design
I will not rest, no, not unless
I find a way to make you mine
I'm gonna get her
If it's the last thing
That I do".
Puck spoke up,
"But just remember
You can't get her
Without me too!"
The boys finished in unison,
"So buckle up, all you amateurs
'Cause today were goin' pro
We're finally ready
So ready to go!"
…
"… And it's only when the silver and the nitrogen find all three oxygens that they're able to solve the case!" Kurt shrieked.
"Slow down, honey," Peter said, patting a calming ball against his thigh.
"Blaine," Kurt finally followed his crushes eyes to where Sebastian was standing in the corner, "Have you been listening to anything I've been saying?"
"Yeah, yeah, it's awesome, it's cool," Blaine was not listening. He was too busy concentrating on the way Dick practically fainted with disappointment as his attention turned to Kurt.
Kurt grinned with relief, "Sigh, Blaine Anderson. Come on, let's go to homeroom!"
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