Fifth Prompt Post

May 10, 2011 23:21

Welcome to the Glee Angst Meme again! You know how these things work. You can come here and prompt your most angsty prompts, and write stories filling those angsty prompts to let our characters suffer ( Read more... )

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FILL: Part 1a (Kurt/Puck, Puck!abuse) jooseboxx August 14 2011, 09:06:07 UTC
Kurt knows he's not a top. Not really. So when his thing with Puck starts, it's not a huge deal. Neither of them really know why it starts, or what it is, or why they keep doing it, but one day they make out in the darkened auditorium and the next Kurt fucks Puck in the deserted locker room. And that is literally how it happens. He goes from making out to sex in one day.

But then it's Puck, so that's understandable.

And that's all it is. Sex. It's just getting some of the tension out, and Kurt's been stock piling a lot of tension, so it's fine. It's not like Puck's going to turn down sex, because everyone knows what 'pool cleaning' really means, and it's got nothing to do with pH balance.

It all works out. They don't talk about it, they don't act like a couple, they just have sex. Really, really awesome sex.

It was surprising at first, because they'd had to have one discussion about it. Because Kurt had been looking for more than making out and the potential of a hand-job, maybe. But Kurt wasn't looking to give himself up to Puck, not in the least, because Kurt's still got those dreams of his first time, he's still waiting for love, he's still planning on his perfect night with the boy or man he's in love with and Noah Puckerman is not that boy. And then Puck just casually said 'that's fine' when Kurt mentioned this and Kurt didn't really get just what Puck meant until the jock had prepped himself and Kurt was just stunned. It took Puck growling 'waiting for a fuckin' personalised invitation Hummel?' before Kurt got his brain and body back in working order.

It seemed that Noah Puckerman had no reservations what so ever when it came to sex. Sex, apparently, was sex in any way. Frankly, Kurt wanted to question him; had Puck done this before? Were there other people that Puck had stringless sex with -he knew the answer to that was probably yes- and how many of them were guys? But he couldn't, because they weren't friends and this wasn't about feelings or knowing each other or anything. It was about Puck being willing, and Kurt needing something more. So Kurt fucked Puck in the boys locker room at McKinley High on a Wednesday afternoon when the place was empty. It wasn't life changing; although it felt amazing, and Puck made the most spine tinglingly sexy moans, and Kurt was sure he felt his orgasm down to his toes. But it wasn't meant to be life changing anyway, because it was just sex. Even if Puck had bit a bruise into his forearm to muffle himself, Kurt had bit a similar mark into Puck's shoulder.

And that was how it started.

Everything got easier afterwards, since they both understood how it was going to work. Kurt noticed early on that he was always the one to initiate things -Puck never came to him for sex, he always just waited until Kurt gave him a nod, or a look, or a smirk, or one time, when Kurt just grabbed Puck into the janitors closet. It was after that incident that Puck gave Kurt his cell number and said it'd probably be easier if Kurt just texted him with a time and location when he wanted a booty call. Kurt agreed.

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FILL: Part 1b (Kurt/Puck, Puck!abuse) jooseboxx August 14 2011, 09:07:34 UTC
The imbalance didn't make things weird. Kurt didn't feel humiliated or anything when he went to Puck, because when they got to it, when they shucked the clothes and got down to the bare basics, Puck was just as into it as Kurt. It should've warranted a conversation, just how easy it was for Puck to give up to it, just how fine Puck was with being fucked. But they weren't friends so Kurt didn't say anything. And it wasn't just about the sex that Kurt didn't ask.

Kurt didn't ask about the days that Puck skipped school but still showed up to meet Kurt when he texted. Kurt didn't ask about the impressive yellow and green bruises the first time they had sex -because they were in the locker room and it all just reminded Kurt that Puck played football and he played it hard. Kurt didn't ask about the split lip or the times that Puck moves Kurt's hands away from his ribs. Because they don't talk, and it's just sex, and after they're done, if Kurt was going to ask, Puck doesn't give him the chance. He just grabs his stuff and leaves.

Kurt wonders if he should feel bad, since he's really just treating Puck like a whore. One who isn't getting paid. But then, Puck treats himself like that anyway, so why shouldn't Kurt?

---
This is going to be a long fill. I have no idea how many parts, but they will be throughout the next few days. Maybe just all day. But for now, just a teaser.

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FILL: Part 2a (Kurt/Puck, Puck!abuse) jooseboxx August 14 2011, 20:41:17 UTC
As far as responsibility went, Puck wasn't exactly the sort to step up and take it. Being responsible was too much like effort or hardwork or 'doing the right thing' and Puck tended to avoid that on basic principle. But, if faced with it, Puck would have to step up and take responsibility for the no-strings sex with Kurt.

And the fact that he was having sex with Hummel was strange enough without adding in the fact that he's pretty sure he was the one who suggested it.

If he had to pin point when it started, and he's still not too sure of it, it might've been the week before the kiss. Britt and Tina had done some number, and they'd pulled Kurt into it and mid-way through, Puck found he was watching Hummel far more than he was Britt. And it wasn't as daunting as Puck would once have thought -a year ago and he would've freaked out, he knew that much. But it didn't really seem like such a big deal now.

But that started the week of wonder; or mild curiosity at least. Puck started to notice more, like the curve of Kurt's ass in those skin tight jeans, or just how soft the line of Kurt's lips looked -especially when he bit at them in concentration. The weirdest thing was probably the non-physical stuff the Puck started noticing though. Like when Kurt found something funny enough to laugh out loud, or when he and Mercedes were excited about some fashion thing, Kurt started using his hands in some pretty wild gestures, that he talked a mile a minute when nervous about something. It struck Puck as weird that he'd notice these things at all.

And then the kiss happened -and really, Puck had thought about it before, he'd thought about if he'd do it, or if Kurt would be the one to try it, if that would be what freaked him out or if something insane would happen from there. It didn't freak him out, and Puck's pretty sure he was the one that started it. He's not even too sure how they ended up in the auditorium alone anyway, just that they ended up there with the lights all dimmed from Rachel's latest explosion of self-involvement. Somewhere between the rest of the guys leaving and both of them leaving themselves, Puck ended up pushing Kurt up against the walkway barrier in the middle of the hall and just, well, kissing him.

Kurt's surprise should've been Puck's, instead it was just an opportunity to really try this whole kissing a dude thing out; getting his tongue in Kurt's mouth had seemed like a good idea, even if he would've expected Kurt to bite him on principle. But Kurt didn't, he just froze for a moment before going for it. The fact that Kurt pressed as close as possible, that Puck's hands held to those sharp, slight and utterly male hips, that just kissing Kurt was starting to turn Puck on, well, Puck wasn't really thinking too closely on any of it. Not when Kurt rocked forward and into Puck, not when Kurt moaned better than anything Santana did, not least when Kurt clung to him tightly and pushed as much need into the kiss as possible.

Later, after Kurt's pulled away and Puck's walked away and neither of them are all that sure what the hell they're doing, Puck takes to time to actually think about things. He kind of likes Hummel -in that he's not completely stuck up, he's got a dry sense of humour and one hell of a sharp tongue. Not to mention the kid has a fucking hot body and can make Puck's head foggy with just a kiss. So, maybe Puck more than 'kind of' like Kurt, it's not really the point. The point is that Puck wouldn't actually mind kissing Kurt some more, if Kurt's up for it. And Puck is strangely okay with that.

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FILL: Part 2b (Kurt/Puck, Puck!abuse) jooseboxx August 14 2011, 20:47:14 UTC
And then he surprises even himself by pretty much agreeing to be Kurt Hummel's bitch. Fact is, he's more freaked out by how not freaked out he is. But it turns out to be pretty fucking amazing, pun intended. It's awkward and uncomfortable at first, but then Kurt pulls his shit together and Puck can honestly say that sex hasn't been that satisfying since he nailed his first cougar.

So they keep it up, and it ends up being a pretty good distraction from the rest of the shit going on around him. Kurt is his usual self -he doesn't treat Puck differently just because they're fucking, doesn't ask him for things, doesn't expect him to be nice or whatever, doesn't even want Puck to talk to him in school. And usually the chicks he hooks up with want all that, so Puck's pretty much down with whatever. Giving Kurt his number just makes it all easier. And if Puck happens to drop whatever he's doing when Kurt texts for a hook up, well, that's no ones business but Puck's.

It's not like he's into Kurt, not at all. It's just sex.

But that's starting to sound weak even to himself.

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FILL: Part 3a (Kurt/Puck, Puck!abuse) jooseboxx August 14 2011, 23:34:56 UTC
They keep it going for five weeks, and then another two when Kurt transfers to Dalton.

In the five weeks that Kurt and Puck are involved in their clandestine affair at McKinley, Kurt is certain he's found places in the school that he never knew existed. He's also had sex in a car, and in a changing room in a store at the mall, and in a public bathroom. It's all wildly inappropriate and probably not going to look good for him if it ever gets out, but funnily enough, Puck is very good at being discreet. It surprises Kurt, because Puck isn't exactly discreet when he's whoring around with his classmates mothers. But maybe it's because he's doing it with Kurt this time, and Kurt doesn't know how that makes him feel.

Except that Puck doesn't act ashamed at all. If anything he's shameless. It took a few tries, but Kurt finally took the bull by the horns -so to speak- and stopped Puck from doing his own prep work. It was possibly the forth time they'd had sex, and Kurt was well aware that Puck didn't mind being the catcher in their little arrangement. But for some reason, Kurt had the urge to go the extra mile one time. Puck had been straddling Kurt, reaching around to do the minimal amount of prep as usual when Kurt grabbed his wrist to stop him. For a minute it looked like Puck thought Kurt wanted to forego the prep completely, and it staggered Kurt in that moment to realise that Puck might actually let him. Instead, Kurt took the lube and slowly pressed a finger into Puck. Feeling the heat and the tightness around his finger instead of his cock was only slightly different, and Puck rocked back against Kurt's finger the same way he did when they were having sex. "Do another." Puck's sex voice never failed to send jolts down Kurt's spine, and if he had to consider it, the fact that he had a not-so-friend with benefits that was so well versed in sex was probably a good thing.

The thing about Puck that Kurt doesn't understand is just how much he seems to like being fucked. Puck just completely loses it when Kurt fucks him, and opening Puck up with his fingers seemed to have just the same effect. Puck would bite his lip until it was swollen and red, push back until there was no where else to go and Kurt couldn't get over just how, well, submissive Puck could get.

There was one time, in Kurt's bedroom, when Kurt found a small smattering of bruises over Puck's shoulders and neck. He didn't ask about them, but when his fingers pressed into the nodes of Puck's spine, his thumb accidentally pushing on one of those bruises, Puck practically shuddered apart and mewled against his own arm. Kurt came just from the noise. They didn't talk about it, but Kurt found himself more willing to exploit the bruises he found -which, if he thought about it, were far too many and far too frequent and far too scattered to be sports related. It became increasingly easier to press his fingers into those bruises on the days that Karofsky was at his worst. Fucking Puck -because on those days that was exactly what it was- served to release the pent up helplessness that Kurt felt, because he had some semblance of control at those points, he wasn't the vulnerable one.

And really, vulnerable wasn't something Kurt ever associated with Puck. Not even when they were having sex.

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FILL: Part 3b (Kurt/Puck, Puck!abuse) jooseboxx August 14 2011, 23:36:23 UTC
At least not until the week before he transferred to Dalton. It had been an average Thursday night, it was 'date night' so Kurt knew that his father would be out with Carole most of the night, which made it easier for Puck to come over and then leave before Burt knew any better. Dad's out, empty house. Come over. Kurt sent the text, it wasn't a request or a question, because Kurt had gotten used to Puck just coming whenever. And the reply came less than ten minutes after Kurt sent the message. Sre. B 10mn.

Ten minutes gave Kurt time to get everything ready -lube and condoms in the bedside table, clothe and towel ready in the en suite bathroom he had, two bottles of water in the small fridge. Right on time, Puck knocked on the door, leaning against the wall when Kurt opened up to let him in. Kurt did have a smirk on his face, but that fell away even as Puck returned it, slipping inside the house through the gap the open door left. "What the hell is that?" That was a rather large cut along the side of Puck's head, a few inches above his ear, along the shaved part of his head. Puck certainly didn't have it when he was at school that day, which meant it had happened between going home and going to Kurt's.

"What? Oh, um, my little sister," Puck raised a hand to touch his fingers to the side of his head, just barely not touching the tip of the cut. "Practising her baseball swing," he gave a mocking laugh, dropping his hand, "she needs to work on holding onto the bat mid-swing." It's the flimsiest excuse for five stitches in the head that Kurt ever heard, but Puck shrugged off his jacket and shut the door. "You didn't call me over to talk about my inability to duck." Puck gave Kurt a look, pretty much closing any potential discussion, toeing off his boots at the same time.

Really, anything Kurt wanted to ask was out of line -Puck was not Kurt's friend, they did not talk about things, they just had sex and left it at that. Which, apparently, Puck having a head injury wasn't about to change. But when Kurt did get Puck downstairs, he was subtly careful about pulling Puck into a kiss -which wasn't something they did too often, but when they did, it never ceased to make Kurt's toes curl- mindful not to grip to Puck's head too hard or at the wrong angle. When he'd called for Puck to come over, he'd imagined it would be just another one of those sessions that left them breathless and utterly sated. But with Puck's blatant injury, Kurt found himself slowing everything down.

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FILL: Part 3c (Kurt/Puck, Puck!abuse) jooseboxx August 14 2011, 23:37:03 UTC
Stripping wasn't done with a flurry of moment, it was drawn out, interspersed with kisses and wandering hands stroking over exposed skin. Kurt's pants are tossed aside and before he realises anything else, Puck's on his knees with Kurt's erection in his mouth -another surprise to the Noah Puckerman persona was his willingness to go down on Kurt as well. Usually, Kurt liked to dig his fingers into Puck's scalp, to drag his nails over Puck's shaved head or clench on the short hairs of Puck's ridiculous mohawk. That time he had to be careful, even as Puck hummed around Kurt's length, Kurt had to remind himself to keep from hurting Puck this time.

Which is probably why Kurt ends up over Puck, with the jock laid out, bare, over Kurt's very expensive bedding. And even though Kurt was sure Puck was nursing one hell of a headache, he's still as responsive as ever when Kurt presses inside after drawing the prep out, after teasing and tormenting with pleasure because he's strangely affected by Puck's injured state. But Puck just arches up like there's nothing different about that time than all the others, claws at the bedding as Kurt bends him back and up, setting a steady but slow pace. Puck actually begs, panting and groaning and still begging for it, meeting each of Kurt's thrusts like he doesn't know how not to.

It wasn't the same as the other times, not when Kurt can look into Puck's eyes and watch him fall apart under him, not when Kurt almost feels this want to kiss Puck through his climax just to share it with him, not when Kurt's heart stutters and he tips over the edge just at the whispered gasp of his name off Puck's lips.

Puck dozed off lightly while Kurt cleaned up and straightened things, and Kurt was hit by this odd wave of affection for the other boy. It was stupid, really, because all they were doing was having sex, it was just fucking, Kurt wasn't going to be the idiot falling in love with his fuck buddy. Least of all when it's someone as impossibly annoying and obnoxious as Noah Puckerman. "Hey," Kurt nudged Puck's side carefully, knowing that Puck probably still had tender ribs from what Kurt assumed was a body tackle from football gone wrong, "do you want to stay for a while?" Kurt asked when Puck finally blinked his eyes open.

"Probably shouldn't," for whatever reason, it was true, Puck really shouldn't stay longer than needed. "'m not meant to sleep anyway." Kurt had just nodded while Puck picked up his stuff, dressing until he was just missing his boots and jacket, which were both still upstairs, "Thanks though." And Puck snatched a quick, chaste kiss from Kurt before bounding up the stairs of the basement and then out the door.

Kurt had just been stuck there, watching, because there had been something off with Puck, more than just the head injury.

The next day at school, everyone was amused at the story of how Sarah Puckerman landed her older brother in the hospital with a gash on his head. Puck didn't skip maths that day for his nap and Kurt had almost managed to convince himself to ask Puck what was going on when he'd caught sight of Karofsky watching him, and then everything but getting away from anything in a letter jacket fell away until Kurt was safely tucked away in the choir room with Mercedes, Tina and Artie.

---

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Re: FILL: Part 3c (Kurt/Puck, Puck!abuse) shadowedkit August 15 2011, 10:28:22 UTC
Hey! I'm going to tag this as filled-complete as the end of part 3 feels it, but if you are planning to continue with this, could you please let me know?

Thanks for filling!

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Re: FILL: Part 3c (Kurt/Puck, Puck!abuse) jooseboxx August 15 2011, 11:54:28 UTC
I estimate 7 parts. I also hope it will be completed today.

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Re: FILL: Part 3c (Kurt/Puck, Puck!abuse) shadowedkit August 15 2011, 13:16:44 UTC
Okay! I'll move you to updated fills in the next week, and put this weeks into incomplete fills started. Thanks for replying.

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Re: FILL: Part 3c (Kurt/Puck, Puck!abuse) jooseboxx August 15 2011, 20:43:09 UTC
Just to let you know, it is not finished and labelled as complete at part 7. Thanks.

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FILL: Part 4 (Kurt/Puck, Puck!abuse) jooseboxx August 15 2011, 11:48:41 UTC
Puck sort of hates himself a little by the time Kurt leaves McKinley. It's mostly Kurt's fault, but not enough that Puck really thinks much on it. The thing is, Puck's not meant to feel like this anyway. It was all supposed to be this distraction technique that just tumbled far too quickly and far too much.

A week after doctors have fished glass out of his skull, nine days after he's had his ribs taped, Puck stands by to watch his fellow Glee jocks warn Karofsky off Kurt. They fail -of course they fail, as if Sam and Mike and Artie are going to be enough to get Dave off Kurt's back. If Puck could he'd beat Dave black and blue just to hammer home a point, but he can't and that pretty much means the other boys have to step up. Sam's pretty little face gets knocked to shit and it's not like that wasn't coming. Puck's a little surprised that Finn doesn't step up, but then, Finn and Kurt aren't exactly close, close. Which is something Puck managed to figure out all on his lonesome. Finn still believes that Kurt's like a brother and really, Puck is closer to Sarah than Finn is with Kurt. Hell, Puck is probably closer to Kurt -even removing the sex- than Finn is.

After the wedding, when Kurt announces that he's leaving McKinley, Puck almost feels like someone just dumped a bucket of ice water over his head. He knows then that he's in some serious shit, because he shouldn't feel like this just because his fuck buddy is leaving, just because he's going to need to find his fix somewhere else -truth be told it stopped being fuck buddies and just a fix for Puck the first time Kurt fingered him, and it's too much like admitting something to say that he hasn't had sex with anyone but Kurt since the first day in the locker room. Hell, he hasn't wanted to have sex with anyone but Kurt since the first kiss. God he's such a pussy.

Regardless, Puck's pretty sure he's going to have to deal with things, because it sucks, sure, but it's not the end of the world. Not really. But then Kurt texts Puck, just like always, Can you get to Westerville in an hour? I have a single dorm. It's pretty much all Puck needs to know that Kurt isn't ending whatever it is they're doing, it's just making it a little more of a trek to do it. They break Kurt's new dorm in over the span of five hours and Puck is sore but perfectly content on the drive back to Lima afterwards. Kurt's still returning to Lima on the weekends, and it's very likely that he'll be needing to get out of the stuffy skin that Dalton Academy seems to force on him.

But then, it did mean that Puck's distraction is greatly diminished. He still doesn't really have the urge to hook up with anyone but Kurt, although recruiting Lauren does take up a little bit of his attention, even after the disastrous 'Seven Minutes' after which Puck has to explain he's sort of seeing someone but it's sort of a touchy subject and it's sort of secret. He's very much aware that Lauren thinks he's hooking up with a teacher, Puck doesn't correct her. He's too busy trying to figure out when he decided he was secretly dating Kurt when in actual fact he is most definitely not. Puck goes out of his way to make sure than Lauren doesn't hate having agreed to stand in for Kurt at Sectionals. When they tie with Dalton, Puck caught a side look from Kurt and just nodded. He knew what it meant.

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FILL: Part 4b (Kurt/Puck, Puck!abuse) jooseboxx August 15 2011, 11:53:21 UTC
Sure enough, ten minutes after they've cleared the stage and Puck just slipped away, finding Kurt in the toilets nearest the exit. Kurt was evidently still on a performance high, because there's not a single thing said before Puck was up against the furthest away stall, smirking just a little at Kurt's fumbling fingers. But then Puck's pants are around his ankles and Kurt's followed them and there's just this minor hesitation, "I don't have any lube." Since Puck never really knew what was going on when, it wasn't possible to carry around lube, but before he could turn around and offer a blow-job instead, his mouth just went away with itself.

"You have a condom?" He'd asked it like it was the only stumbling block, and while Puck knew that he wasn't screwing around with everyone in town anymore, he wasn't exactly sure just what Kurt was doing -he wasn't going to go into the fact that his chest fucking hurt at the idea of Kurt getting some from those fruity guys at his new school.

"Yeah," Kurt's hand had trailed over the compact muscles of Puck's stomach, although his voice was pretty giving in his confusion away. Puck just nodded, wondering if there really was something wrong with him or when he'd become just so dependent on this. He'd sucked two fingers into his mouth before reaching around himself, and he'd done it enough for himself at first so it wasn't exactly awkward. He felt the hissed out "Fuck," from Kurt more than hearing it, but it didn't stop him.

"Just," there wasn't exactly a lot of slick, because saliva was only so good and they weren't exactly taking their time, "start off slow." But Puck was starting to realise that he needed this -maybe he needed Kurt just a little too, but that wasn't something he was willing to vocalise, like ever. Kurt didn't argue, didn't protest or offer more prep or time, he just pressed in, slowly at first like asked. He did stop when pressed all the way in, and Puck had to focus on his breathing more than he'd ever had to before, pressing his forehead against the tiles of the wall and just breathing.

"I'm hurting you." And he was, just a little, like a burn all the way along his nerves and up his spine. But it wasn't the sort of pain Puck was used to -because Puck was used to it, damnit, and this was nothing- so he just shook his head and pressed back a little, trying to coax Kurt on.

"It's okay." It was different, because every thrust in, Puck felt that spark of pain with his pleasure, every time Kurt caught that spot there were flashes of pure bliss and the pull out caused the flare of the burn. It was a little overwhelming but so fucking good that Puck sort of wanted it to never end. But they'd both be missed by their respective groups if they stayed away too long, and everything had to end at some point. And if Puck was moving a little stiff, or trying not to move too much at all, Kurt didn't say anything. Kurt said he'd be home at the weekend and free on Saturday. Puck gave a nod and a smirk and told Kurt to just text him the time. Nothing was changing and that was fine with Puck.

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FILL: Part 4c (Kurt/Puck, Puck!abuse) jooseboxx August 15 2011, 11:53:57 UTC
He didn't need more change, it was far too big a change that he was fucking Kurt in the first place, it was far too big that he'd stopped wanting to fuck anyone else, that he'd pretty much stopped flirting with the female population of McKinley for one hot little gay boy. He's pretty sure it doesn't make him gay, but he's looked it up and it doesn't make him bi either, because there has never been any desire for any other male. It's just Kurt. Or maybe it's just that Kurt's his type when it comes to guys and there really isn't anyone like Kurt in McKinley at all. He'll need to look into this if they get as far as Nationals this year. All the thinking and the occasional sex and school and home, Puck managed to just coast through it all without really noticing. Except the sex, he pretty much always noticed the sex.

And then he pretty much fucked it all up.

He was sure that there would be a time, one time, when Kurt would text him and Puck would really need to say no but just not be able to. Sure enough, Kurt text him the week before Regionals, and Puck understood the need for stress relief, but he knew for a fact that he shouldn't skip out the house and break into Kurt's -because mid-week home visiting wasn't usual, but the opportunity was there when Carole and Burt had gone out and Finn was out with Quinn. But Puck's never really been good at doing what he really should, so he sneaks out of his house and into Kurt's, because the new one is pretty awesome and it's easy to climb the side of the house and into Kurt's bedroom.

Puck knows that he can hide things pretty well -he's pretty sure he's doing a good job with his feelings for Kurt- but there are some things which can't be waved off. Like keeping his shirt on during sex. It's like some evasive dance attempt, keeping Kurt in front of him while they're getting down to it, and although Puck knows Kurt prefers it with Puck facing away, he pretty much can't do it this time. Kurt stops questioning it when Puck hooks his legs around Kurt's hips and pulls them together with force. Kurt stops his arguing and questioning and just fucks him. And it's not like the pain comes from the sex, because every time Kurt thrusts into him, Puck's shoulder rubs against the bedsheets and pain flares all along his arm and back. It's difficult not to let it show, but he's gotten pretty good at ignoring things, so he just needs to focus on ignoring the pain and he'll be fine.

Only, ignoring the pain stops him from ignoring other things, which leads to the complete shut down of everything. Kurt comes milliseconds before Puck does, and he's so determined to not let his back or arm or shoulder give him away that he doesn't even realise he's let out those words until much, much later. Kurt's staring at him though, and at the time, Puck's too worried that his other secret it about to come out. Kurt doesn't say a word though, he's staring up at the ceiling from beside Puck on the bed and that's unusual -Kurt would normally be meticulous in cleaning up after, so Puck takes care of that as quick as he can before pulling his clothes on and leaving.

When he gets home, he pulls off his shirt to find a line of blood over the shoulder. It's in the trash rather than the wash. And just as he's about to get a clothe and a bandage he realises exactly what he said at Kurt's.

Fucking Christ, he just told Kurt Hummel he loves him.

---

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FILL: Part 5a (Kurt/Puck, Puck!abuse) jooseboxx August 15 2011, 14:14:54 UTC
Kurt feels like he should've known. Like he should've realised something. It's pretty stupid that he spent the whole time with Puck stopping himself from feeling anything that he didn't notice Puck hadn't. It's just a little awkward, because Kurt isn't in love with Puck, he can't be, he never will be. Puck is not the type of boy that Kurt can fall in love with -he feels terrible, but Kurt wasn't even aware that Puck could love anyone. He should've snapped out of the daze, should've got Puck to stay so that they could talk about it, but they don't talk and Puck doesn't stay and when Kurt finally starts straightening his bedroom he's shocked to find a blood stain on his bed.

At first he thinks he tore Noah -but that's impossible because for one thing they used lube and for another its at the far side of the bed. Which would put Puck's head or back up there. It strikes him then that Puck was a little strange, but maybe it was just another football injury -except football season is over and they're playing basketball now, and there's no way basketball causes bleeding injuries unless it's a bloody nose. Kurt doesn't get the time to consider it, because his Dad and Carole come home and Kurt has to strip the bed and remake it before anyone sees anything. He's showered and dressed and ready to be driven back to Westerville in record time.

The drive lets him think on things more. Puck's in love with him. It's almost enough to be a joke, but then, maybe Puck just associates sex with love and doesn't realise that he's not really in love with Kurt, they just have pretty awesome sex. It's something that they will need to discuss. Along with the blood, because Kurt can't just let this go any more. He'll see Puck at Regionals, he knows they can talk then. But before that even happens, Blaine kisses him. Blaine! A boy that Kurt could be in love with, a boy that would walk hand in hand with Kurt, that Kurt could introduce to Burt and Carole as his boyfriend, someone who finally looked up and saw Kurt.

He texts Puck that night. Can't do this any more. I have a boyfriend. Thanks. He doesn't even think about it before he sends it. Doesn't stop to remember that Puck is in love with him. It's too late when he does remember and he's staring at his phone for fifteen minutes, just waiting for Puck's response. When it comes, he's not overly surprised. k gd lck. It's not exactly what Kurt was expecting, but it's just so Puck that really, he can't be surprised. It only proves that Puck isn't really in love with Kurt, it's just the sex. Kurt does feel much better when he realises this. It lets him throw his all into being the best boyfriend for Blaine. It stings when they don't win Regionals, but he's happy for his old club. He wants to talk to Puck, but the jock seems attached to Lauren Zizes of all people, except she's mostly glaring at anyone who comes near Puck, like she's a guard dog. Kurt notices the hint of a bruise around Puck's neck, just hidden by his shirt collar, notices tired eyes and slumped shoulders. Maybe Puck needs a guard dog.

Kurt doesn't exactly spend too long thinking about Puck, it's sort of like every once in a while he'll wonder what Puck would be doing, or if he's found someone else to have meaningless sex with already. He's half way through composing a text message when he remembers that he isn't meant to be inviting Puck over anymore. He deletes what he's written, but types something new, Random question, but you might be the only person I know who will know. Who has the record for longest home run in baseball? He hits send before he can talk himself out of it, all the while trying to figure out why he wants to know, or where the question came from, or even just why he wants to text Puck.

Babe Ruth. bt evry1 stl tnks Mickey Mantle. Kurt stares at the words, because it's the longest text Puck has ever sent him -then again, it's probably the longest text Kurt has ever sent Puck too. Kurt doesn't know who either of the people are, he doesn't even know anything about baseball beyond what his Dad tells him if they go to a game, and even then, he usually forgets right after.

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FILL: Part 5b (Kurt/Puck, Puck!abuse) jooseboxx August 15 2011, 14:17:12 UTC
Thanks. I never figured I'd be stuck in a sport conversation. How's things? It's weak, Kurt knows it is, but he almost misses spending time with Puck, maybe not just the sex, although he finds he does miss that. He wants to take things slow with Blaine, doesn't want to rush into anything because it's meant to be special this time, not just getting off. Because Blaine means more to him that just some quick touches, Blaine is more than a heated make out and sex in the locker rooms, Blaine is more than sneaking into rooms and closets and houses just for an hour or so of sex, Blaine is more than dropping everything for an orgasm.

Cnt txt. drvin. It shouldn't hurt, it shouldn't sting. It's entirely possible that Puck knows better than to text and drive at the same time, but Puck is the one who drove a car through the side of a convenience store, he's also not supposed to be driving since his licence is suspended, but that hasn't stopped him. But Kurt shouldn't expect Puck to drop everything for him anymore, Kurt made it pretty clear that the sex was over and they weren't friends before it, why would they be friends afterwards? He doesn't try to text Puck later, he doesn't let himself wonder where Puck is or what he's doing. It's none of his business.

He goes on dates with Blaine, gets coffee and goes shopping, goes to the movies. He's right, Burt and Carole are happy when Kurt introduces Blaine as his boyfriend, Blaine holds his hand in public and they have soft, perfect kisses that are straight out of the movies. It's everything Kurt thought it should be. Except Blaine doesn't make his skin tingle when his fingers brush, Blaine doesn't make his heart thump in his chest when they kiss, Blaine doesn't get Kurt so worked up he can't think straight. Not like Puck does. It's things like that which make him send Puck another text message when he's finished his work on Sunday night. Do you think Usher could ever be done acapella style? It's strange, Kurt knows. He expects Puck to text him with a question as to why he'd care, or maybe what acapella had to do with anything, or just something. Monday morning and there's still no text from Puck, nothing. Kurt tries again after dinner, Why do teenage boys think Beavis and Butthead is so funny? and he spends the rest of the night looking for the response. There's nothing again. Kurt's starting to wonder if maybe he was wrong, if maybe Puck did love him and Kurt hurt him. I'm sorry. I guess you don't want to talk. But I am sorry. He spends Wednesday with his gut clenched uncomfortably, because he didn't think that Puck ignoring him would feel this bad.

"Are you okay?" Blaine is understanding as ever, when Kurt explains it's just a stomach ache, Blaine gets him some tea, kisses his cheek and leaves him to rest after class. Could you please text me back? Even just to tell me to leave you alone. It's stupid. Kurt shouldn't miss Puck -all they did was have sex. Except for those times that Kurt wanted to see how far he could push Puck, how long Puck could take the pleasure, from those times that they dozed for a while before going again, those times when Puck would grab a few minutes rest against Kurt's back. Those few occasions when Kurt wondered if maybe he should offer to let Puck fuck him this time. It was stupid to miss someone he didn't necessarily like at all. He missed Puck's kisses, the way he'd lick Kurt's lip as he pulled away, the way he'd blanket Kurt with his body as they pressed together, the way Puck's hands slid up his sides and back, like a caress. He missed the way Puck arched into him, bending in almost impossible ways, gasping Kurt's name and making both of them shudder. Kurt just sort of missed Puck. So, he told him. I sort of miss you. More than sort of. Please just say something?

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