(no subject)
grad was lovely.
thursday morning woke at 530, left 6ish.
got to robs at 730ish.
i showed up and he was sitting on his steps.
he looked up and saw me
and told me i was gorgeous.
we hung out while he ate,
he showered and such (cause he just got home from work)
went to go nap till i had to go,
(i have said this before i am sure,
but we had the best sex of my life that morning)
i left at 1130ish, he stayed in bed.
went to brock,
met up with adam to chat and such.
grad at 2.
ceremony was boring but it was lovely to see people.
after i drove to robs.
talked with his dad for a bit.
ate some foods.
talked to his mom a bit.
she kept complimenting me.
telling me i looked gorgeous,
and then saying 'rob doesnt she look gorgeous'
shes such a sweet lady.
rob and i went back to st kitts,
got my tattoo :D
went back to robs,
watched jumper with him, his parents and brother.
then he left for work,
and i went to amandas to pick her up,
we went to port mansion.
met up with girls from my program.
had a good night out with them.
even though it was country night.
got a free cowboy hat.
went back to amandas to crash.
woke up at 9,
went to rob/jess's grad.
afterwards found rob,
took pics with him for his mom.
his parents left.
we found jess. said hi and such.
then rob and i drove to grimsby.
we drove down to the water,
and he pumped up a raft boat,
we got in and floated out in the water,
listening to music and drinking fruitopia.
it was lovely.
perfect actually.
then we went back to his place.
watched some tv.
ate dinner with his brother.
fell asleep cuddling on the couch.
(which he says hes never done with his mom home,
and his mom didnt seem to care much)
we went downstairs and lied on the couches there for awhile.
it was hardcore storming.
we snuck into his room in the basement
and had some fun.
then back out to the tv for a bit.
eventually i slept over, but in his brothers room.
his mom was asleep before we realized i should stay over.
and he didn't want to get caught with me in his bed.
but he crawled into bed with me at 430 this morning.
we slept till 6. then he went to work.
i drove home.
highlights of my 2 days:
- robs mom told him on their drive to grad to marry me
and that she would give him $10,000 to get a ring lol
- every minute spent with rob
- floating in the water on the raft
- rob telling me he wants to marry me someday
(i don't really believe in marriage...
but i think i'd marry him in a second..)
- feeling loved
downside... he is dating brittany again or still.
which i will never understand..
but i dont want to date him.
not now.
maybe in the future, when im back from australia.
and when he's settled down more.
he asked me if i wanted him to leave her and just be with me now.
and we can figure things out when i leave for aus.
but i said there is no point.
i don't want him dumping her for me.
i want him to realize shes not right for him.
and he's wasting his time with her.
and... im scared of missing him too much when i go.
i need to be free to go and do as i please when i am there.
but i think i am going to miss him anyways.
plus if he stays with her now,
he won't stay with her forever..
the longer they are together,
the more likely he won't find someone amazing
and forget about me...
is that bad that i am thinking that way?
for someone who recently didn't believe in love or marriage...
i've got myself into some serious confusion.
i am in love with someone else's boyfriend.
who wants to marry me in the future,
and who i could actually see myself marrying..
i confuse myself way to much.
all i know is throughout all the confusion.
i am happy.
these past few days were wonderful.
and it may be a messed up situation,
and not make sense to anyone but me.
but everything is fine.
and in the end, everything will be fine.
he's a wonderful best friend.
and regardless of anything else,
he always will be.
oh and i told my mom about my tattoo this morning,
she didn't say much. just mentioned seeing a note to myself,
that said picture of tattoo on it.
i said i just wanted to tell her straight out.
then when i was outside showing my dad,
she walked up behind me.
made a face and said 'it never fuckin ends'
and i said 'what' and she said 'i hate those things'
and i said 'and i like them, and you know that, so..'
and that was the end of it.. she'll get over it.
until she realizes i have one on my ribcage
that i have yet to tell her about.
i dont understand why she even cares that much.
i could be doing worse.
i just got a fuckin degree for christ's sake.
thursday morning woke at 530, left 6ish.
got to robs at 730ish.
i showed up and he was sitting on his steps.
he looked up and saw me
and told me i was gorgeous.
we hung out while he ate,
he showered and such (cause he just got home from work)
went to go nap till i had to go,
(i have said this before i am sure,
but we had the best sex of my life that morning)
i left at 1130ish, he stayed in bed.
went to brock,
met up with adam to chat and such.
grad at 2.
ceremony was boring but it was lovely to see people.
after i drove to robs.
talked with his dad for a bit.
ate some foods.
talked to his mom a bit.
she kept complimenting me.
telling me i looked gorgeous,
and then saying 'rob doesnt she look gorgeous'
shes such a sweet lady.
rob and i went back to st kitts,
got my tattoo :D
went back to robs,
watched jumper with him, his parents and brother.
then he left for work,
and i went to amandas to pick her up,
we went to port mansion.
met up with girls from my program.
had a good night out with them.
even though it was country night.
got a free cowboy hat.
went back to amandas to crash.
woke up at 9,
went to rob/jess's grad.
afterwards found rob,
took pics with him for his mom.
his parents left.
we found jess. said hi and such.
then rob and i drove to grimsby.
we drove down to the water,
and he pumped up a raft boat,
we got in and floated out in the water,
listening to music and drinking fruitopia.
it was lovely.
perfect actually.
then we went back to his place.
watched some tv.
ate dinner with his brother.
fell asleep cuddling on the couch.
(which he says hes never done with his mom home,
and his mom didnt seem to care much)
we went downstairs and lied on the couches there for awhile.
it was hardcore storming.
we snuck into his room in the basement
and had some fun.
then back out to the tv for a bit.
eventually i slept over, but in his brothers room.
his mom was asleep before we realized i should stay over.
and he didn't want to get caught with me in his bed.
but he crawled into bed with me at 430 this morning.
we slept till 6. then he went to work.
i drove home.
highlights of my 2 days:
- robs mom told him on their drive to grad to marry me
and that she would give him $10,000 to get a ring lol
- every minute spent with rob
- floating in the water on the raft
- rob telling me he wants to marry me someday
(i don't really believe in marriage...
but i think i'd marry him in a second..)
- feeling loved
downside... he is dating brittany again or still.
which i will never understand..
but i dont want to date him.
not now.
maybe in the future, when im back from australia.
and when he's settled down more.
he asked me if i wanted him to leave her and just be with me now.
and we can figure things out when i leave for aus.
but i said there is no point.
i don't want him dumping her for me.
i want him to realize shes not right for him.
and he's wasting his time with her.
and... im scared of missing him too much when i go.
i need to be free to go and do as i please when i am there.
but i think i am going to miss him anyways.
plus if he stays with her now,
he won't stay with her forever..
the longer they are together,
the more likely he won't find someone amazing
and forget about me...
is that bad that i am thinking that way?
for someone who recently didn't believe in love or marriage...
i've got myself into some serious confusion.
i am in love with someone else's boyfriend.
who wants to marry me in the future,
and who i could actually see myself marrying..
i confuse myself way to much.
all i know is throughout all the confusion.
i am happy.
these past few days were wonderful.
and it may be a messed up situation,
and not make sense to anyone but me.
but everything is fine.
and in the end, everything will be fine.
he's a wonderful best friend.
and regardless of anything else,
he always will be.
oh and i told my mom about my tattoo this morning,
she didn't say much. just mentioned seeing a note to myself,
that said picture of tattoo on it.
i said i just wanted to tell her straight out.
then when i was outside showing my dad,
she walked up behind me.
made a face and said 'it never fuckin ends'
and i said 'what' and she said 'i hate those things'
and i said 'and i like them, and you know that, so..'
and that was the end of it.. she'll get over it.
until she realizes i have one on my ribcage
that i have yet to tell her about.
i dont understand why she even cares that much.
i could be doing worse.
i just got a fuckin degree for christ's sake.