I don't understand/ramblings....
Why is it so much harder to deal with someone's death when you witness their last breaths, when you watch as people rush around to attempt to make this person as comfortable as possible, trying to keep him alive, while you pray that the ambulance will hurry up, thinking that it could have been you, could have been anyone there? Why? I don't get it? Closer people to me have died and I did not have this much trouble. Is it because he was only 26? Is it because of the nature of the accident? Is it because I was there? For some reason I can't see myself doing this anymore, but I can't see myself doing anything, while staying happy in both situations. How can I keep doing this?