yay. lets go to hell.
well a couple days ago i went to the movies with david and bill. bill is davids stepdad. we saw the village. honestly i didnt feel like seeing it again, but i havent seen david in two weeks so i thought i might as well go. i sat between david and bill. it was okay except for the fact that david didnt touch me at all the whole time. i thought that was kinda weird, and i didnt want to make a move to touch him because i wanted to see what he was thinking and i guess honestly he didnt want to touch me. so yeah. well we barely said anything until on the way home, then we all just talked about the movie. so they dropped me off at my house, david walked me to the door like he usually does. i asked him to come in for a few minutes while i got the CD i bought for him off my dresser. he was too big of a pussy to come in. hes afraid my dad will "skin him alive" so he stayed out there. we hugged and kissed goodnight he told me he would call me the next day. did i get a call... uh nope. then i didnt talk to him at all today, but he just got on and i asked him if something was going on because he barely talks to me or touches me. he said he was just busy, i know that but he cant find a few minutes to call and see what im doing and see how i am... nope. honestly its pissing me off. i kinda want a guy who will pay a little more attention to me. i guess thats selfish, maybe, i dont even know. is it selfish to want some attention from your boyfriend??? i mean really. yeah i also asked him when hes only why doesnt he talk to me. he said because he doesnt get on to talk, but when i IM him it says hes "typing" so that means he was talking to someone.... hmm. im so tired of it. i dont want to break it off because hes all i ever wanted for as long as i can remember... but im tired of it all. im tired of wanting him to call, of wanting to hang out with him, of him to touch my face.... ugg... hmpf. and now i have a stupid infection because im taking antibiotics and im on my period... thats just wonderful. im taking antibiotics to get rid of an infection so i get a worse infection and to top that off i get my period so its already sore down there and then i have to stick a stupid tampon up there. great... grrr. im so mad.
corey and i had a little chat tonight... corey is my ex-boyfriend and davids best friend. corey doesnt like me much and we got into a big fight about some guy i had sex with. heres the convo. i started crying like crazy when he said friends say hi to each other......
SHaDoWoLF 111388: hi
Into a Memorie: hi
SHaDoWoLF 111388: how are you?
Into a Memorie: good. yourself?
SHaDoWoLF 111388: pretty good
Into a Memorie: yeah, whats up
SHaDoWoLF 111388: not too much
SHaDoWoLF 111388: you?
Into a Memorie: just typing in a journal
SHaDoWoLF 111388: fun fun
Into a Memorie: eh, i guess
Into a Memorie: is something wrong?
SHaDoWoLF 111388: yea
SHaDoWoLF 111388: im going to kill myself tonite
Into a Memorie: what
SHaDoWoLF 111388: yea you heard me
SHaDoWoLF 111388: home is where you hang yourself
Into a Memorie: dont lie to me
SHaDoWoLF 111388: ok
Into a Memorie: why are you saying that...
Into a Memorie: its not funny
SHaDoWoLF 111388: "home is where you hang yourself" is a cd title
SHaDoWoLF 111388: lol
SHaDoWoLF 111388: its funny
SHaDoWoLF 111388: i love it
Into a Memorie: did you want something?
SHaDoWoLF 111388: no
SHaDoWoLF 111388: yes i want you so bad
SHaDoWoLF 111388: j/k
SHaDoWoLF 111388: just saying hi
SHaDoWoLF 111388: do i have to want something?
Into a Memorie: well i didnt think you were too fond of me
SHaDoWoLF 111388: oh
SHaDoWoLF 111388: ok
Into a Memorie: so i just thought you were going to yell at me or soemthing
SHaDoWoLF 111388: nope
SHaDoWoLF 111388: just saying hi
SHaDoWoLF 111388: like friends do
Into a Memorie: lol
SHaDoWoLF 111388: ive been mean to you and im sorry
Into a Memorie: doesnt matter
SHaDoWoLF 111388: ok
Into a Memorie: you know its funny
SHaDoWoLF 111388: what?
Into a Memorie: david doesnt even say hi to me
SHaDoWoLF 111388: oh
SHaDoWoLF 111388: why not?
Into a Memorie: hes just busy i guess
SHaDoWoLF 111388: ok
SHaDoWoLF 111388: you know hes going to break up with you right?
SHaDoWoLF 111388: j/k
SHaDoWoLF 111388: j/k
SHaDoWoLF 111388: j/k
SHaDoWoLF 111388: im sorry
SHaDoWoLF 111388: just had to say that
SHaDoWoLF 111388: cuz im bored
SHaDoWoLF 111388: so how's life?
Into a Memorie: well its not like it would shock me
Into a Memorie: it sucks
SHaDoWoLF 111388: than go kill yourself
SHaDoWoLF 111388: j/k
SHaDoWoLF 111388: dont do that
SHaDoWoLF 111388: why does it suck
SHaDoWoLF 111388: ?
SHaDoWoLF 111388: ?????????????????????????
Into a Memorie: because im tired of being alone and i have a stupid fucking infection and im on my period at the moment
SHaDoWoLF 111388: oh
SHaDoWoLF 111388: thats nice
SHaDoWoLF 111388: too much info
Into a Memorie: you asked
SHaDoWoLF 111388: could have stopped at alone
SHaDoWoLF 111388: but its ok
SHaDoWoLF 111388: sorry bout that
Into a Memorie: and david talks to me once a week and i see him once every two weeks... he cant even find five minutes to call and see how im doing or what im up to now and then
SHaDoWoLF 111388: anden...
Into a Memorie: i know he works a lot and then he has to hang out with friends... but is it selfish to want him to spend some time wiht me
Into a Memorie: with *
SHaDoWoLF 111388: yes
SHaDoWoLF 111388: it is
SHaDoWoLF 111388: let him have a life
SHaDoWoLF 111388: j/k
SHaDoWoLF 111388: j/k
SHaDoWoLF 111388: no
SHaDoWoLF 111388: wait
SHaDoWoLF 111388: what?
SHaDoWoLF 111388: huh?
SHaDoWoLF 111388: haduh?
SHaDoWoLF 111388: shiggity schwat???
SHaDoWoLF 111388: do you have a job?
SHaDoWoLF 111388: apply to arby's
Into a Memorie: no
SHaDoWoLF 111388: than you could be with him
SHaDoWoLF 111388: duh
Into a Memorie: no
SHaDoWoLF 111388: fine
SHaDoWoLF 111388: dont complain then
SHaDoWoLF 111388: lazy
Into a Memorie: its not that
Into a Memorie: i dont want to force him to be with me tho
SHaDoWoLF 111388: dont
SHaDoWoLF 111388: just stalk him
SHaDoWoLF 111388: thats all
Into a Memorie: and hes too busy checking out girls at work so i cant work there
SHaDoWoLF 111388: lol
SHaDoWoLF 111388: hahaha
Into a Memorie: he does
SHaDoWoLF 111388: how would you know?
Into a Memorie: kelli and tina told me
SHaDoWoLF 111388: are you there?
Into a Memorie: tina is
SHaDoWoLF 111388: he doesnt work with tina
SHaDoWoLF 111388: they have differnt times
Into a Memorie: they do sometimes
SHaDoWoLF 111388: oh ok
SHaDoWoLF 111388: nevermind
SHaDoWoLF 111388: you are so right
Into a Memorie: i am
Into a Memorie: im glad you agree
SHaDoWoLF 111388: and Tina is a compulsive liar and don't know shit about what he does
SHaDoWoLF 111388: she thinks he does and tries to piss him off all the time at work
Into a Memorie: yeah i heard that about you too
Into a Memorie: he told her and kelli
Into a Memorie: and shawn
SHaDoWoLF 111388: what?
SHaDoWoLF 111388: what are you talking about?
SHaDoWoLF 111388: that was david typing
SHaDoWoLF 111388: not me
Into a Memorie: hes there?
SHaDoWoLF 111388: for the last two things
SHaDoWoLF 111388: yea
SHaDoWoLF 111388: i picked him up after work
Into a Memorie: hes fucking there, hes read all that
SHaDoWoLF 111388: yea
SHaDoWoLF 111388: is that a bad thing?
SHaDoWoLF 111388: you didnt say anything wrong
Into a Memorie: well yeah, but i sorta thought i was talking to a friend... you know... just a friend thing...
SHaDoWoLF 111388: half of it was just me and you
Into a Memorie: we never talk unless hes around so i should have figured
Into a Memorie: my bad
SHaDoWoLF 111388: i actually just wanted to talk about you
Into a Memorie: what about me
SHaDoWoLF 111388: to*
Into a Memorie: about what
SHaDoWoLF 111388: i ment to
SHaDoWoLF 111388: not about
Into a Memorie: i know
SHaDoWoLF 111388: i forgot i had you blocked
SHaDoWoLF 111388: so i undid it and said hi
Into a Memorie: hi
SHaDoWoLF 111388: hi
Into a Memorie: what do you want to talk about
SHaDoWoLF 111388: nothing
SHaDoWoLF 111388: we already talked
SHaDoWoLF 111388: i said how is likfe
SHaDoWoLF 111388: life*
SHaDoWoLF 111388: what did you do today?
Into a Memorie: sat around
Into a Memorie: talked to kelli
Into a Memorie: shes the only one i talk to
SHaDoWoLF 111388: oh
SHaDoWoLF 111388: fun
SHaDoWoLF 111388: so hows jessy doing?
Into a Memorie: youre an ass you know that
SHaDoWoLF 111388: are you still friends with him?
SHaDoWoLF 111388: i was just wondering
SHaDoWoLF 111388: not being mean
SHaDoWoLF 111388: just wondering
Into a Memorie: i havent talked to him since school has been out
SHaDoWoLF 111388: sorry
SHaDoWoLF 111388: nevermind
SHaDoWoLF 111388: ok
Into a Memorie: k
Into a Memorie: did david ask you to ask me about him?? huh? does david think im a whore???
Into a Memorie: does david think im cheating on him with jesse????
SHaDoWoLF 111388: no no and yes
SHaDoWoLF 111388: i mean no
SHaDoWoLF 111388: lol
SHaDoWoLF 111388: j/k
Into a Memorie: god oh so funny
SHaDoWoLF 111388: yes it was
SHaDoWoLF 111388: we both laughed
Into a Memorie: yeah i know i laughed too
SHaDoWoLF 111388: ok
SHaDoWoLF 111388: thats cool
Into a Memorie: hey david kellis mom and your aunt michelle think we are having sex
SHaDoWoLF 111388: ok
SHaDoWoLF 111388: thats cool
Into a Memorie: yeah
SHaDoWoLF 111388: he sais "good for her"
Into a Memorie: yeah his whole family thinks im a whore
SHaDoWoLF 111388: ok
SHaDoWoLF 111388: "im not suprised that they think that"
SHaDoWoLF 111388: "but i am suprised that they havnt tried to get my in trouble"
SHaDoWoLF 111388: we are going now
Into a Memorie: no
Into a Memorie: whats that supposed to mean
SHaDoWoLF 111388: i wil talk to you later
Into a Memorie: wait
Into a Memorie: tell me
SHaDoWoLF 111388: whata?
SHaDoWoLF 111388: tell you what?
Into a Memorie: what was that supposed to me
Into a Memorie: mean8
SHaDoWoLF 111388: what?
Into a Memorie: **
Into a Memorie: those stupid comments david made
SHaDoWoLF 111388: nothing
Into a Memorie: tell me
SHaDoWoLF 111388: they ment what they said
SHaDoWoLF 111388: duh
SHaDoWoLF 111388: im going now
Into a Memorie: what did the second one mean
SHaDoWoLF 111388: i'll talk to you later
SHaDoWoLF 111388: bye
Into a Memorie: please
"im not suprised that they think that"
^i know what that means...that davids not surprised his family think im a whore, but what does that mean v
"but i am suprised that they havnt tried to get my in trouble"
corey and i had a little chat tonight... corey is my ex-boyfriend and davids best friend. corey doesnt like me much and we got into a big fight about some guy i had sex with. heres the convo. i started crying like crazy when he said friends say hi to each other......
SHaDoWoLF 111388: hi
Into a Memorie: hi
SHaDoWoLF 111388: how are you?
Into a Memorie: good. yourself?
SHaDoWoLF 111388: pretty good
Into a Memorie: yeah, whats up
SHaDoWoLF 111388: not too much
SHaDoWoLF 111388: you?
Into a Memorie: just typing in a journal
SHaDoWoLF 111388: fun fun
Into a Memorie: eh, i guess
Into a Memorie: is something wrong?
SHaDoWoLF 111388: yea
SHaDoWoLF 111388: im going to kill myself tonite
Into a Memorie: what
SHaDoWoLF 111388: yea you heard me
SHaDoWoLF 111388: home is where you hang yourself
Into a Memorie: dont lie to me
SHaDoWoLF 111388: ok
Into a Memorie: why are you saying that...
Into a Memorie: its not funny
SHaDoWoLF 111388: "home is where you hang yourself" is a cd title
SHaDoWoLF 111388: lol
SHaDoWoLF 111388: its funny
SHaDoWoLF 111388: i love it
Into a Memorie: did you want something?
SHaDoWoLF 111388: no
SHaDoWoLF 111388: yes i want you so bad
SHaDoWoLF 111388: j/k
SHaDoWoLF 111388: just saying hi
SHaDoWoLF 111388: do i have to want something?
Into a Memorie: well i didnt think you were too fond of me
SHaDoWoLF 111388: oh
SHaDoWoLF 111388: ok
Into a Memorie: so i just thought you were going to yell at me or soemthing
SHaDoWoLF 111388: nope
SHaDoWoLF 111388: just saying hi
SHaDoWoLF 111388: like friends do
Into a Memorie: lol
SHaDoWoLF 111388: ive been mean to you and im sorry
Into a Memorie: doesnt matter
SHaDoWoLF 111388: ok
Into a Memorie: you know its funny
SHaDoWoLF 111388: what?
Into a Memorie: david doesnt even say hi to me
SHaDoWoLF 111388: oh
SHaDoWoLF 111388: why not?
Into a Memorie: hes just busy i guess
SHaDoWoLF 111388: ok
SHaDoWoLF 111388: you know hes going to break up with you right?
SHaDoWoLF 111388: j/k
SHaDoWoLF 111388: j/k
SHaDoWoLF 111388: j/k
SHaDoWoLF 111388: im sorry
SHaDoWoLF 111388: just had to say that
SHaDoWoLF 111388: cuz im bored
SHaDoWoLF 111388: so how's life?
Into a Memorie: well its not like it would shock me
Into a Memorie: it sucks
SHaDoWoLF 111388: than go kill yourself
SHaDoWoLF 111388: j/k
SHaDoWoLF 111388: dont do that
SHaDoWoLF 111388: why does it suck
SHaDoWoLF 111388: ?
SHaDoWoLF 111388: ?????????????????????????
Into a Memorie: because im tired of being alone and i have a stupid fucking infection and im on my period at the moment
SHaDoWoLF 111388: oh
SHaDoWoLF 111388: thats nice
SHaDoWoLF 111388: too much info
Into a Memorie: you asked
SHaDoWoLF 111388: could have stopped at alone
SHaDoWoLF 111388: but its ok
SHaDoWoLF 111388: sorry bout that
Into a Memorie: and david talks to me once a week and i see him once every two weeks... he cant even find five minutes to call and see how im doing or what im up to now and then
SHaDoWoLF 111388: anden...
Into a Memorie: i know he works a lot and then he has to hang out with friends... but is it selfish to want him to spend some time wiht me
Into a Memorie: with *
SHaDoWoLF 111388: yes
SHaDoWoLF 111388: it is
SHaDoWoLF 111388: let him have a life
SHaDoWoLF 111388: j/k
SHaDoWoLF 111388: j/k
SHaDoWoLF 111388: no
SHaDoWoLF 111388: wait
SHaDoWoLF 111388: what?
SHaDoWoLF 111388: huh?
SHaDoWoLF 111388: haduh?
SHaDoWoLF 111388: shiggity schwat???
SHaDoWoLF 111388: do you have a job?
SHaDoWoLF 111388: apply to arby's
Into a Memorie: no
SHaDoWoLF 111388: than you could be with him
SHaDoWoLF 111388: duh
Into a Memorie: no
SHaDoWoLF 111388: fine
SHaDoWoLF 111388: dont complain then
SHaDoWoLF 111388: lazy
Into a Memorie: its not that
Into a Memorie: i dont want to force him to be with me tho
SHaDoWoLF 111388: dont
SHaDoWoLF 111388: just stalk him
SHaDoWoLF 111388: thats all
Into a Memorie: and hes too busy checking out girls at work so i cant work there
SHaDoWoLF 111388: lol
SHaDoWoLF 111388: hahaha
Into a Memorie: he does
SHaDoWoLF 111388: how would you know?
Into a Memorie: kelli and tina told me
SHaDoWoLF 111388: are you there?
Into a Memorie: tina is
SHaDoWoLF 111388: he doesnt work with tina
SHaDoWoLF 111388: they have differnt times
Into a Memorie: they do sometimes
SHaDoWoLF 111388: oh ok
SHaDoWoLF 111388: nevermind
SHaDoWoLF 111388: you are so right
Into a Memorie: i am
Into a Memorie: im glad you agree
SHaDoWoLF 111388: and Tina is a compulsive liar and don't know shit about what he does
SHaDoWoLF 111388: she thinks he does and tries to piss him off all the time at work
Into a Memorie: yeah i heard that about you too
Into a Memorie: he told her and kelli
Into a Memorie: and shawn
SHaDoWoLF 111388: what?
SHaDoWoLF 111388: what are you talking about?
SHaDoWoLF 111388: that was david typing
SHaDoWoLF 111388: not me
Into a Memorie: hes there?
SHaDoWoLF 111388: for the last two things
SHaDoWoLF 111388: yea
SHaDoWoLF 111388: i picked him up after work
Into a Memorie: hes fucking there, hes read all that
SHaDoWoLF 111388: yea
SHaDoWoLF 111388: is that a bad thing?
SHaDoWoLF 111388: you didnt say anything wrong
Into a Memorie: well yeah, but i sorta thought i was talking to a friend... you know... just a friend thing...
SHaDoWoLF 111388: half of it was just me and you
Into a Memorie: we never talk unless hes around so i should have figured
Into a Memorie: my bad
SHaDoWoLF 111388: i actually just wanted to talk about you
Into a Memorie: what about me
SHaDoWoLF 111388: to*
Into a Memorie: about what
SHaDoWoLF 111388: i ment to
SHaDoWoLF 111388: not about
Into a Memorie: i know
SHaDoWoLF 111388: i forgot i had you blocked
SHaDoWoLF 111388: so i undid it and said hi
Into a Memorie: hi
SHaDoWoLF 111388: hi
Into a Memorie: what do you want to talk about
SHaDoWoLF 111388: nothing
SHaDoWoLF 111388: we already talked
SHaDoWoLF 111388: i said how is likfe
SHaDoWoLF 111388: life*
SHaDoWoLF 111388: what did you do today?
Into a Memorie: sat around
Into a Memorie: talked to kelli
Into a Memorie: shes the only one i talk to
SHaDoWoLF 111388: oh
SHaDoWoLF 111388: fun
SHaDoWoLF 111388: so hows jessy doing?
Into a Memorie: youre an ass you know that
SHaDoWoLF 111388: are you still friends with him?
SHaDoWoLF 111388: i was just wondering
SHaDoWoLF 111388: not being mean
SHaDoWoLF 111388: just wondering
Into a Memorie: i havent talked to him since school has been out
SHaDoWoLF 111388: sorry
SHaDoWoLF 111388: nevermind
SHaDoWoLF 111388: ok
Into a Memorie: k
Into a Memorie: did david ask you to ask me about him?? huh? does david think im a whore???
Into a Memorie: does david think im cheating on him with jesse????
SHaDoWoLF 111388: no no and yes
SHaDoWoLF 111388: i mean no
SHaDoWoLF 111388: lol
SHaDoWoLF 111388: j/k
Into a Memorie: god oh so funny
SHaDoWoLF 111388: yes it was
SHaDoWoLF 111388: we both laughed
Into a Memorie: yeah i know i laughed too
SHaDoWoLF 111388: ok
SHaDoWoLF 111388: thats cool
Into a Memorie: hey david kellis mom and your aunt michelle think we are having sex
SHaDoWoLF 111388: ok
SHaDoWoLF 111388: thats cool
Into a Memorie: yeah
SHaDoWoLF 111388: he sais "good for her"
Into a Memorie: yeah his whole family thinks im a whore
SHaDoWoLF 111388: ok
SHaDoWoLF 111388: "im not suprised that they think that"
SHaDoWoLF 111388: "but i am suprised that they havnt tried to get my in trouble"
SHaDoWoLF 111388: we are going now
Into a Memorie: no
Into a Memorie: whats that supposed to mean
SHaDoWoLF 111388: i wil talk to you later
Into a Memorie: wait
Into a Memorie: tell me
SHaDoWoLF 111388: whata?
SHaDoWoLF 111388: tell you what?
Into a Memorie: what was that supposed to me
Into a Memorie: mean8
SHaDoWoLF 111388: what?
Into a Memorie: **
Into a Memorie: those stupid comments david made
SHaDoWoLF 111388: nothing
Into a Memorie: tell me
SHaDoWoLF 111388: they ment what they said
SHaDoWoLF 111388: duh
SHaDoWoLF 111388: im going now
Into a Memorie: what did the second one mean
SHaDoWoLF 111388: i'll talk to you later
SHaDoWoLF 111388: bye
Into a Memorie: please
"im not suprised that they think that"
^i know what that means...that davids not surprised his family think im a whore, but what does that mean v
"but i am suprised that they havnt tried to get my in trouble"