*deepbreaths*
Today both of my classes were canceled, i slept in, and about midafternoon it sunk in that school was ending. I really can't believe it.
I think back to this point last year when i was literally having an identity crisis - who was I here? at home? which was the real me? how do i act when i'm moving between the two? can the differences be reconciled? thankfully i think i've got that considerably more figured out this year and i'm not nearly as scared. but when it really sunk in this afternoon i got a little knot in my stomach when i realized that it was, again, all coming to an end. I'll come back next year and so much will be the same, but next year will be different again. Everyone will be spread out all over campus, no more dillin dinners, lots of people won't be here in the fall and several more aren't coming back at all. crazy.
I had my last weekly lunch with luke today and i realized as we were sitting there how good those few hours were for me. it's just been a little time every week to sit, reflect on our lives, and talk about what's important to us. Some conversations have been, literally, life changing. i will miss them this summer.
I'm half way thru college. That amazes me. it doesn't seem like to can even be real. If you say you have half of college left to go, is that looking at the glass half full? or half empty? i really just can't get my mind around it.
tomorrow is my last class, one more romantic lit, and we're just going to sit there and listen to presentations (i rocked mine on wednesday) and eat brownies. then i'll be done. wildstock tomorrow afternoon/evening. 30 hour famine that night/saturday/night which i'm looking forward to - i'm not sure how my body's going to do w/out food for that long, but i think it'll be a good experience and that it will be worth it. sunday will be studying. monday is studying/reading day ultimate. tuesday i turn in math and children's lit stuff. wednesday i turn in frankenstein paper, take diversity final and pack. thursday I'm home. that's one week. holy smokes, that's truly amazing.
i keep saying it, but i think my brain must be so full of thoughts, emotions, facts, lists, and work that it really just can't fit in such a huge concept. i can't wait to be home, but i can't believe it's actually here.
my deepest love to all.