(no subject)
I thought I was going a good direction in my life. But I don't think I was. I was uptight, fussy, and fake. And I guess part of me still is. For the longest time, even though I'm pretty okay with myself, I've always wanted to be someone else. And now I really don't know why I ever felt that. I think that in the general sense, I'm doing fairly well. So far. But in any case... I really don't have anything to bitch about. I'm just confused because everything around me is changing so quickly, and I'm finding my views changing when I've been pretty damn grounded in them for the last few years. I don't want what I used to want. And I'm scared to take a dive because I want to. And I'm scared of going so deep and I can't find my way back.. and that, just maybe, I won't want to.
I hate how everything is going fine and then something comes along, puts a detour in your way, and suddenly you don't even want to be on that main road anymore. The scenery is much nicer. And besides, you'll get to where you're going eventually.
Anna Nalick's Wreck of the Day cd is good. Own it.
I felt for the first time this past weekend that Denise was right. (Well... typically, Denise is always right--but that's not the point). Funny how many of the good changes in my life are because of her influence. But she was right. She was right in 6th grade when she wrote Bright Colors and she's still right now. And I wrote it all down for awhile and I looked back on it, and I realized that maybe what I want isn't that hard to obtain. Maybe I do have it in me... and I never really thought I did. It's about damn time that I feel reassured.
I hate how everything is going fine and then something comes along, puts a detour in your way, and suddenly you don't even want to be on that main road anymore. The scenery is much nicer. And besides, you'll get to where you're going eventually.
Anna Nalick's Wreck of the Day cd is good. Own it.
I felt for the first time this past weekend that Denise was right. (Well... typically, Denise is always right--but that's not the point). Funny how many of the good changes in my life are because of her influence. But she was right. She was right in 6th grade when she wrote Bright Colors and she's still right now. And I wrote it all down for awhile and I looked back on it, and I realized that maybe what I want isn't that hard to obtain. Maybe I do have it in me... and I never really thought I did. It's about damn time that I feel reassured.