Who's that muse of yours?
And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I’m dying are the best I’ve ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles its a very very
Mad world
I think the best friends I have are on the internet. And it really downs me, because even the people on the internet don't like me. Well... maybe Carice is nice- when she's around. And Jacob. When he's around.
After that, I'm alone. With my thoughts. And. Them.
And you know them too... you have them with you as much as I do. We avoid our them's, but it's hard. They'er always waiting to pick on us.
"Eww, I can't beleive you wore that today"
Shut up.
But they stay around, just to do the same. SOmethiNg sounds off in the background, and you see it- but it's not there by the time your eyes want to know what it is. Shame. because you feel it gnawing on your leg now. To late, you swat it- and hit a wound or two.
Then he's done with you and curls to sleep, leaveing you alone. Utterly alone. At lest being assulted you're not alone.
If I die, I want to be murdered. So I won't be alone.
I love you guys... really, I really feel for you all, even if you don't me. I'm a bleeding heart- for all the life I've seen, one would think other wise, but I am. I miss it. I really do.
I hear tomatos are good this time of year, that and strawberries. Prime time, get 'em real cheep. You'll like them. Califorina has the best produce anymore it seem's...
Ok, now for what I did today!
I woke up and thought that today was tonight, because it was dark when I woke up- and I though that I stayed up all night till the sunrise.. maybe I did, maybe I just woke up at 5. I don't bother to look at clocks anymore- time only makes you rush around. Time. Rushes. You...
So after I woke up, I cleaned up- since I hadn't taken a shower since two days ago at night... Not that I get super dirty or am having sex- I just felt the need to bathe intensely. I used up all the hot water I could, then rinsed off in the cold. Which was nice, wouldn't want to leave the shower on a good note after all.
After the shower I dressed. Woo, I bet you're bored now, but cloths are very importaint for me to pick out- they show my mood, and who I am today. Today I was very Richard Giovanni in fashion- pressed kaki's and a polo shirt. Clean feeling. I didn't wear any makeup, and I cleaned the red shit off of my fingers. So I look fairly manily today (though I still have those all to femme facial features; so I look like an intresting Dyke I'd say).
Rented a car for a week- it's a carish kind of car. four doors. RED. Of course. Drove myself to my favoirt chinese restaraunt and hit on the manager the entire time (so what if he's 'married'? He's such a cootuie, and I know he wants my ass badly).
Then after that I just went home. Exhasted, for a strange reason. I don't know why...
Gods I need some friends. Give me a ring- my cell phone is XXX-XXX-XXXX... yeah, and stuff like that.
Or we can met up sometime, maybe...
Don't tell anyone, ok?,
Delo D. MaTat
[Update]
Fuck all this shit. I'm packing out. Gone. poof.
Leavvveeing. Foreva. Good by hotel, good by Jacob, hello park bench.
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I’m dying are the best I’ve ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles its a very very
Mad world
I think the best friends I have are on the internet. And it really downs me, because even the people on the internet don't like me. Well... maybe Carice is nice- when she's around. And Jacob. When he's around.
After that, I'm alone. With my thoughts. And. Them.
And you know them too... you have them with you as much as I do. We avoid our them's, but it's hard. They'er always waiting to pick on us.
"Eww, I can't beleive you wore that today"
Shut up.
But they stay around, just to do the same. SOmethiNg sounds off in the background, and you see it- but it's not there by the time your eyes want to know what it is. Shame. because you feel it gnawing on your leg now. To late, you swat it- and hit a wound or two.
Then he's done with you and curls to sleep, leaveing you alone. Utterly alone. At lest being assulted you're not alone.
If I die, I want to be murdered. So I won't be alone.
I love you guys... really, I really feel for you all, even if you don't me. I'm a bleeding heart- for all the life I've seen, one would think other wise, but I am. I miss it. I really do.
I hear tomatos are good this time of year, that and strawberries. Prime time, get 'em real cheep. You'll like them. Califorina has the best produce anymore it seem's...
Ok, now for what I did today!
I woke up and thought that today was tonight, because it was dark when I woke up- and I though that I stayed up all night till the sunrise.. maybe I did, maybe I just woke up at 5. I don't bother to look at clocks anymore- time only makes you rush around. Time. Rushes. You...
So after I woke up, I cleaned up- since I hadn't taken a shower since two days ago at night... Not that I get super dirty or am having sex- I just felt the need to bathe intensely. I used up all the hot water I could, then rinsed off in the cold. Which was nice, wouldn't want to leave the shower on a good note after all.
After the shower I dressed. Woo, I bet you're bored now, but cloths are very importaint for me to pick out- they show my mood, and who I am today. Today I was very Richard Giovanni in fashion- pressed kaki's and a polo shirt. Clean feeling. I didn't wear any makeup, and I cleaned the red shit off of my fingers. So I look fairly manily today (though I still have those all to femme facial features; so I look like an intresting Dyke I'd say).
Rented a car for a week- it's a carish kind of car. four doors. RED. Of course. Drove myself to my favoirt chinese restaraunt and hit on the manager the entire time (so what if he's 'married'? He's such a cootuie, and I know he wants my ass badly).
Then after that I just went home. Exhasted, for a strange reason. I don't know why...
Gods I need some friends. Give me a ring- my cell phone is XXX-XXX-XXXX... yeah, and stuff like that.
Or we can met up sometime, maybe...
Don't tell anyone, ok?,
Delo D. MaTat
[Update]
Fuck all this shit. I'm packing out. Gone. poof.
Leavvveeing. Foreva. Good by hotel, good by Jacob, hello park bench.