No Choice, Chapter 9 - Treaty, part 2
The sun was beginning its descent behind the thick cloud cover by the time we reached Forks. Carlisle turned right onto a small road when we were still several miles north of town, and we followed it as it wound west through the increasingly dense trees. After several miles, he turned right again, onto a gravel road barely wide enough for the sedan, and then pulled to a stop.
“We’re meeting them about a mile up this road,” Carlisle explained, as the engine idled almost silently. “Alice, have you been able to see anything?”
“Nothing,” she replied with a grimace. “Not about today, anyway - Esme has apparently decided to plant roses behind the house, and they’ll be beautiful come June.” She made a face, clearly unhappy about the hole in her vision.
“Jasper?” Carlisle asked, turning to the other man.
“There are three of them,” he shrugged. “One is uncomfortable, worried, and anxious. The second is feeling stern, a bit angry, and also anxious. The third is all over the place - guilty and angry, mostly, but not in a way that would worry me about an ambush. He’s also quite anxious to get this over with.”
“Let’s not keep them waiting, then,” Carlisle said.
Jasper nodded, and as one he and Alice slipped out of the car and melted into the trees nearby, where they would wait and monitor the situation, just in case. I climbed into the front seat that Jasper had vacated, and Carlisle began driving again as soon as my door was closed.
He was quiet for a long moment, as we bounced along the uneven surface of the road. Memories of the last time I had been alone with Carlisle, on the evening of my birthday as he stitched my arm up, came unbidden to my mind, though they were scrambled and indistinct. I pushed them back behind the ever-present wall in my mind and forced myself to focus on the task at hand.
“I’m not sure who Billy has brought with him,” he said softly, breaking the silence, “but there’s a good chance whoever it is will be fairly new to shifting into the werewolf form. My understanding is that until they gain control, the shift can be made accidentally, if they are provoked to anger.”
“So I should watch what I say,” I added dryly.
Carlisle smiled slightly and nodded. “If something should go wrong, stay calm. The treaty is what matters here, and if we react well I’m sure Billy will be able to rein in the offending wolf and handle the situation.”
“And if it does turn out to be an ambush?” I asked in a small voice.
He sighed and seemed to deflate slightly. “Watch out for their teeth and claws, they can do a great deal of damage to us - it’s their only purpose for having them, in fact. Run back down the road towards Jasper, and then do whatever he says to do. Though perhaps we should be asking you what to do, as I think you may be the only vampire to ever escape the pack.”
I looked out the window at the darkening fir trees. “We’re faster than they are in the water. That’s the only thing that saved me, I think.”
“Don’t worry Bella, everything is going to be fine,” he said, touching my shoulder gently.
Turning back to him, I nodded and forced a small smile. My gut told me things would never again be fine, but I also knew this was not the time to dwell on my personal sorrows. If I could keep it together here, the Cullens would be able to return to their home, and that was the priority.
“One last thing,” Carlisle said, slowing slightly as we drove over a series of deep potholes. “Just to be safe, it’s probably best if you don’t breathe while we’re near them. Do you know how to hold in a lung-full of air and use that to speak?”
“Yes.” The ability to go without breathing was definitely one of the benefits to being undead.
“Good. I’ll fill in as you need me to, so only speak when it’s absolutely necessary.”
He slowed the car and pulled off onto a small patch of grass beside the stump of a tree. With the noise of the car gone, I could suddenly hear three distinct heartbeats, loud and slow and wet. Swallowing back the venom that had begun to pool in my mouth, I took a deep breath from the untainted air of the car, holding it in.
“They’re just ahead,” Carlisle said as he turned off the engine. “Are you ready?”
I nodded, abruptly nervous. As I climbed out of the car, I tried to convince myself that this was just Billy, a man I had known my entire life, and a few of the guys from La Push, maybe even some of Jacob’s friends. But when I tried to remember what Billy and Jacob looked like, the only image my mind could summon was that of the giant wolves who had chased me just a few days earlier.
I swallowed again, this time out of nervousness, and looked back the way we had come, into the trees where I knew Alice and Jasper were hiding. They wouldn’t let anything happen to me, and neither would Carlisle. And with a sudden fierceness, I realized I wouldn’t let anything happen to them, either.
With this thought firmly in mind, I followed Carlisle down the gravel path, towards the wet beating of three hearts. I fell in beside him, matching his pace though it felt far too slow, steeling myself for what was about to happen.
As we rounded a bend in the road, I caught sight of the Black’s beat up old Ford. Billy sat in his wheelchair nearby, looking unsettled on the gravel, and between us and him stood two tall, muscular men, both wearing only shorts despite the frost I could smell in the air. After half a second I recognized Sam Uley, his face tugging on the corners of painful memories, long buried. I pushed them back behind the wall in my mind and turned my gaze towards the third man, wondering which one of his gang members Sam had brought with him to the meeting.
With a start I realized that it was Jacob. He looked like he’d grown a foot and a half since I’d last seen him, barely three weeks ago. His face looked thinner, harder, and all his long hair was cut off, nearly shaved right down to his scalp. My eyes pricked in a way that was becoming familiar, and I bit my lip and reminded myself not to breathe. He didn’t meet my gaze as we approached.
Had this been why he had been ‘sick’, why he had been avoiding me? And was this what Sam’s gang had really been the whole time, a pack of werewolves? The surrealness of this moment only served to make my human memories seem all the less genuine. Could this really be the boy who had become my lifeline the past few months?
As I stared at him, my chest tightly clenched to remind myself not to breathe, I remembered the man on the beach who smelled like a wolf, as the pack had stopped chasing me. The man with dark eyes and cropped dark hair, wearing nothing but shorts, glowering at me across the miles of open water. Could that have been Jacob? I shivered at the thought.
“Billy, thank you for meeting with us,” Carlisle said when we stood in front of them, his hands hanging awkwardly at his sides in the absence of a handshake. “I hope you know how important the treaty is to our family.”
Billy made a noncommittal sound, then turned slightly towards Sam and Jacob. “You know Sam Uley, I think. And this is my son Jacob, the newest member of the pack.”
Jacob’s gaze finally flickered to mine and then quickly away again, too fast for me to read the emotions swirling there.
“Things have changed a bit since my grandfather’s day,” Billy continued, leaning back in his chair. “Sam is the pack leader now - no wolf form for this old man - so any negotiations will have to go through him. I’m just here to pass the torch, and help out if I can.”
Jacob’s eyes lifted to mine again, dark and angry and tortured. I knew him well enough to read the intent in that look: Billy and Sam had come for the treaty, but Jacob had come for me. I swallowed hard.
“Of course,” Carlisle nodded. “Very nice to meet you both. I think you all know Bella, and from what I understand, you know what happened to her, correct?”
“We saw it happen, yes,” Sam said, his deep voice carrying an authority I had never noticed before. Jacob dropped his gaze again, in an almost submissive gesture; it set my teeth on edge.
“That’s putting it lightly,” I snapped, before I had thought through my words or the use of my limited air. Instantly four pairs of eyes focused on me.
“We tried to stop it,” Jacob spat out, but Sam put up a hand to silence him.
“Perhaps we should clarify exactly what did happen,” he said, his eyes narrowing as he looked at me.
“We were worried about this sort of thing last year, Bella,” Billy said, cutting through the tension and giving me a significant look. “But I thought we were past that.”
“We were. Are,” I corrected, shaking my head and reminding myself not to breathe. Whatever air I had left would have to be enough to get me through the conversation.
“That isn’t what happened,” Carlisle explained for me. “Bella did not seek this out, and the Cullen family was not involved in what occurred.”
Jacob scowled. “But the one we tracked down and killed, the one that bit you - you knew him, didn’t you, Bella?”
I nodded silently, my jaw clenched.
“His name was Laurent,” Carlisle said, again filling in for me. “He and his coven came through Forks last spring. It was the other two members of his coven that chased Bella to Phoenix, and attacked her there. That is what really happened, when her father believed she had broken up with my son, and then fallen down a flight of stairs and through a window at our hotel,” Carlisle seemed to be explaining this part specifically to Billy. “Laurent did not hunt Bella at the time, however. In fact, he came to our home to warn us about the other two.”
“So that leech was a friend of yours?” Jacob snapped, looking at me.
I looked at Carlisle. There was no way I could explain what had taken place with the air I had left in my lungs. He met my gaze and nodded.
“It’s unsafe for Bella to breathe while standing so near to you; she’s still very new to this, and even standing this close shows far more restraint than is typical in newborns,” Carlisle said to Billy, Sam, and Jacob. “She told us her story when she reached us in Denali, and I’ll recount it to you best I can, given that Bella has a limited amount of air left with which to speak.”
Jacob’s eyes flickered from me to Carlisle and back again; he looked suspicious. I nodded at him almost imperceptivity, and the skin around his eyes relaxed slightly.
“Last Saturday, Bella went hiking alone in the woods-” Carlisle began.
“Why?” Jacob demanded, interrupting him.
I gave him a pointed look, hoping he would put the pieces together.
“Oh,” he said a moment later, a guilty look flickering across his face, “you were using our map, weren’t you?”
I nodded.
The other three men were not unaware of our exchange, but Carlisle continued without comment, relating the story of my last day as a human, complete and accurate except for the glaring omission of my hallucinations - impressive considering that he had heard the story from Jasper, who had in turn been told by Alice. Apparently the game of telephone didn’t apply to vampires, I thought wryly.
As Carlisle continued the story, telling of my escape from the pack and my run through Canada, Sam’s expression grew thoughtful. I tried to decide if that was a good sign or not.
Everyone was quiet for a moment after Carlisle finished, Jake’s eyes once again finding mine, as though to confirm what Carlisle had said. I nodded slightly at him again, wondering if the others had noticed our wordless conversation.
“First of all,” Sam started, breaking the silence. I clenched my jaw and resisted the urge to groan. “I want to make it clear that we were well within our rights to kill the one you call Laurent,” he continued. “We witnessed him attacking a human on treaty land, which we will never tolerate.
“But,” he said, holding up a hand as Carlisle started to interject, “as a nomadic vampire, he was not covered by the terms treaty, despite your acquaintance with him. His actions do not affect the standing of the treaty.”
“I’m glad to hear that,” Carlisle said, taking and then exhaling a large breath, making more than a little jealous.
“Bella is another matter entirely,” Sam said then, turning to me. “Do you intend on staying in Forks?”
Deciding to save my remaining air for more complicated questions, I merely nodded in response.
“And what about your father?” he asked.
I turned towards Carlisle, who once again answered for me. “Chief Swan believes Bella is with our family in Los Angeles,” he said. “We would appreciate it if you did not disillusion him of that.”
Sam nodded, his face thoughtful again but his eyebrows drawing together. “This is a situation not covered by the treaty,” he said to Carlisle, as though he were the ultimate expert on the treaty - as though it had been him personally who had agreed to it with Carlisle, and not Jacob’s great-grandfather. “Is a newborn vampire even capable of adhering to the terms? Can the tribe be expected to accept the increased risk?”
I scowled at Sam, my previous view of him as resident gang leader not improving, but I let Carlisle answer.
“As you can see, Bella has exceptional control for a newborn, and has already interacted with humans without incident,” he said, a hint of steel under his smooth tone. “She won’t be venturing into town, for Charlie’s sake and the sake of those who knew her before. And she will have the support of the rest of the family. We won’t let her stray.”
“‘The rest of the family’?” Sam repeated, his eyebrows raised. Beside him, Jacob’s nostrils flared and the muscles in his shoulders tensed.
“Bella is part of the Cullen family,” Carlisle said, his voice firm, before I could piece together the reason behind their reactions.
“You’re invoking that clause?” Sam asked, stunned, at the same moment Jacob snapped, “She has a family!”
“You would send her home to her father in this condition?” Carlisle asked Jacob, the reproach clear in his tone. Then to Sam, “Yes, we’re invoking that clause. She is and always will be part of the Cullen family.”
“Her only tie to your ‘family’ was that bastard Edward who left her alone here - left her alone in the woods for us to find!” Jacob snarled.
It felt like I had been punched in the gut. I had never heard Jacob say his name, or mention that first night - it was an unspoken rule between us. The air I had been holding in whooshed out of my lungs and my knees buckled. I closed my eyes as the ground rushed up to meet me, hoping sincerely that I was fainting.
Too-warm arms caught me before I hit the ground, and then I was being cradled against a bare, scalding chest. I wanted to groan, but I was out of air and wasn’t sure how smart it would be to breathe so close to Jacob.
“Bella?” Carlisle’s voice, maybe a foot from my ear, using his doctor tone. “Bella, can you hear me?”
“Don’t touch her!” Jacob snapped, clutching me closer.
“Jacob, you do not want to do that,” Carlisle said, a note of anxiety under his calm. “Bella has shown remarkable restraint, but she’s still a newborn.”
Jake’s hold on me loosened slightly, but he didn’t release me. My head slid down to rest against his shoulder.
“Bella?” Carlisle said again, “Nod if you can hear me.”
For a moment I considered pretending I had fainted, but realized I wouldn’t be able to fool Carlisle - could vampires faint? - so I nodded, my eyes still closed. I felt his fingers on my face then, along the edge of my jaw, smooth and just slightly warm, compared to Jacob’s soft, burning skin.
“What’s wrong with her?” Jacob whispered. My stomach twisted at his tone.
“She lost a lot of blood when Laurent attacked her,” Carlisle replied, his voice soft but still clinical. “It will take her a while to recover from that,” he lied smoothly.
I fought the urge to sigh. I was going to have to talk to convince them that I was okay, to get them to stop hovering, but I couldn’t take a breath without smelling Jacob, Sam, and Billy. The ‘restraint’ Carlisle had mentioned had been nothing more than carefully not breathing whenever humans were around. How was I suppose to breathe with them this close?
It occurred to me then that I had smelled Jacob and the rest of the pack before, when they had chased me north. They had smelled like animals, not like people at all. And I had seen Jacob - I was convinced now that it had been him - in his human form just before the pack turned back towards Forks, and he hadn’t smelled human then, either. Billy would probably smell human, but maybe if all I could smell was Jacob, I could get a breath in without putting anyone in danger.
Part of my overly-broad mind was distinctly aware of the pulse at Jacob’s neck and the wet sound of his heart beating, so I clenched my jaw closed, just in case. I turned my head towards Jacob just slightly, positioning my nose in the hollow beneath his ear, where I had seen him tuck his long hair away so many times. I locked all of my muscles in place, then took a deep breath in through my nose.
The Jacob-smell I remembered was still there, woodsy and musky, with faint scents of motor oil and the soap he used. Over that now was a distinctly animal aroma, more like the bear I had hunted with Emmett than like the human scent I had memorized from my own dried blood. And nearly overpowering both was a smell like wet dog, instantly silencing any appetite the other scents might have provoked.
It took the tiniest fraction of a second for me to move, take that breath, and analyze the smells. And then suddenly I was out of Jacob’s arms and Carlisle was clutching me to his chest, to protect me or stop me from moving I couldn’t tell. I blinked up at him, trying to piece together the movements that had just taken place, and then looked over at Jacob.
He was several feet away, Sam clutching at his upper arms and trying to position himself between Jacob and Carlisle and I. He cast a quick glance at the right side of Jacob’s neck, where my head had just been, and then turned immediately back to us. Billy had turned his wheelchair towards Jacob and Sam, and looked anxious and slightly green.
“Did she…?” Sam growled, not taking his eyes off me. Carlisle’s arms tightened around me.
“No, of course not!” Jacob snapped, trying to shrug out of his grasp. “Lay off, Sam.”
Carlisle took a step backwards, pulling me along with him. “I’ll take Bella back to the car…”
“I’m fine,” I said, my voice sounding bewildered even to my own ears. “I just needed a breath, and it seemed safer to smell Jacob than risk catching Billy’s scent.” I shrugged, trying not to use all my hard-won air.
Carlisle looked at me sharply. “Bella, you could have hurt him.”
I shook my head. “Jacob does not smell like food,” I replied, using as little air as I could.
Jacob snorted, his face full of dark amusement. Sam and Billy looked repulsed.
“I know he doesn’t smell appetizing,” Carlisle said, shaking his head, “but our venom is very poisonous to them. The vampire gene and the werewolf mutation cannot exist together, so you must be very careful, do you understand?”
I nodded, my eyes wide.
Jacob had finally shrugged out of Sam’s grasp, and they both stood watching us, Sam’s expression thoughtful again and Jacob’s thick with emotions I could not name.
“I believe you have made your point, Dr. Cullen,” Sam said slowly, his eyes on my face. “Bella has shown more restraint than I would have thought possible. If she is willing to agree to the terms of the treaty, the pack is willing to consider her a Cullen-”
Jacob growled, deep in his throat, but Sam waved him off imperiously.
“-for purposes of the treaty,” he finished, still watching me.
“I accept the terms,” I said softly, constricting my diaphragm as little as possible.
“But we cannot allow any slips, not a single one,” Sam added, taking half a step in my direction. “Any attempt to attack a human will be seen as a violation of the treaty.”
“It won’t be a problem,” I snapped at full volume before my mind had decided to say anything. I clenched my jaw shut; I was out of air again. Sam narrowed his eyes but nodded.
“And what about your missing male?” he asked, addressing Carlisle but looking at me. I dropped my eyes, trying to hide my flinch of pain.
“He is still covered by the treaty,” Carlisle replied, his voice even.
“Is he coming back?” Sam sounded like he was asking about the weather; my empty chest constricted.
Carlisle’s answering smile was tight. “We would like a chance to discuss that as a family. Our movements have never been restricted by the treaty.”
“Yes, about that,” Sam said, sounding imperious again. “I think it would be best for all of us if we had a bit more communication on that front. You left without telling us, and if not for Bella, you might have returned without telling us as well. With your family gone, we have been patrolling the entire area, and I would hate for there to be a misunderstanding.”
I watched as Carlisle’s eyes narrowed, but a moment later he nodded. “That sounds reasonable,” he said, though his tone was not quite friendly. “I think we all want to avoid any accidents. The rest of our family is on their way back to Forks as we speak. Obviously we may venture into Seattle from time to time, but I will keep you advised of any major moves. In return I would ask that you and your successors keep us up to date on any future changes in pack structure, as much as you are able.”
Sam nodded as well, though I could tell his jaw was set.
“Are we agreed?” Carlisle asked, extending his hand.
Sam stared at Carlisle’s hand for a long, tense moment, before taking it in his own and shaking it. “Agreed,” he said grudgingly.
I wanted to sigh in relief but I had no air left, so I settled for letting my shoulders relax. Glancing away from Carlisle and Sam, I caught Jacob watching at me, a sad, self-mocking look on his face. I smiled slightly and waved at him across the tense few feet separating us, smiling more genuinely when he waved back.
With a whole new pain, it hit me suddenly that I might be saying goodbye to Jacob for the last time. He would still be just down the road in La Push, but the distance between us now seemed insurmountable. The things he had said to me the night we had gone to the movies - three weeks ago today, I realized - seemed like they were from a different lifetime. A lifetime where he had been human, and I had been human, and the most complicated thing in our lives was how he felt about me.
My eyes pricked and burned, and I wished I had the air in my lungs to tell him what he meant to me, or the control to take a breath without murdering his father in front of him. All I needed was a moment alone with him to say goodbye, but Billy had already turned back to his car, and Carlisle had started to edge down the road towards our car.
I sent Jake one last look, trying to communicate everything I couldn’t say out loud, and then turned and followed Carlisle down the gravel track.
-
The drive back to Forks was a quiet one. Alice and Jasper had decided to run to the house, leaving me alone with Carlisle and my grief. My silent goodbye to Jake had hit me harder than I had expected, leaving my chest shattered and tender. Filling it with the clean air of the car did no good, only serving to mock my pain with more pain.
“Did you know that I wrote a book on vampire physiology?” Carlisle asked out of the blue, breaking into my silent wallowing. “There are only two copies,” he continued, “one in my study here in Forks and the other in Volterra. Aro used to tease me that I had literally written the only book on the topic,” he laughed self-consciously. “But when it comes right down to it, I probably know more about the workings of our kind than anyone else. And Bella,” he paused until I looked up and met his intense gaze. “I’ve never before seen a vampire collapse like you did.”
I wondered if my laugh sounded as forced to him as it did to me. “Just my luck,” I fake-chuckled, “my clumsiness followed me into this life.”
Carlisle wasn’t convinced for a moment. “It’s happened before, hasn’t it?” he asked gently.
I sighed and looked away. “Yeah, a couple of times now.”
“What causes it, do you think?” he asked, equal parts professional curiosity and worried parent.
What causes it? This gaping wound in my chest causes it! Any mention of his name, any reminder of what I lost, of what this life should have been.
I didn’t say this out loud, unsure of how to put it into words and unwilling to let anyone into this darkest corner of my existence. My shoulders hunched forward and I hugged myself around the middle with one arm, laying the other hand on my ribs, over my silent heart. How could I explain it? The transformation hadn’t healed me as it had healed the others. I had come through broken.
“Are you in pain?” Carlisle asked sharply, and distantly I realized that he had pulled the car to the side of the highway.
I nodded weakly as the hole yawned wider.
“Where?” he asked, engaging the parking brake and turning towards me.
I pressed my hand flat against my sternum, the stone surface unyielding under the pressure. “Here,” I whispered, squeezing my eyes shut. In an odd way, it felt good to admit to the pain.
“Could the wolves have-?” he started to ask, but I shook my head.
“It wasn’t the wolves. It always hurts.” And always will, I added silently. Gathering my strength, I forced myself out of the hole I had dug for myself and looked up at Carlisle; his golden eyes were bright with concern and sympathy. “It isn’t physical,” I added, looking away again.
He was still for a moment, and then reached out and squeezed my arm reassuringly. “I take back what I said,” he whispered gently. “I have seen a case like yours before: Marcus, one of the Volturi elders. Though I hold out hope that you will find a happier resolution than he did.”
I nodded, even though I didn’t know the story he was referring to. Marcus was one of the tiny figures in the painting in Carlisle’s study, but beyond that I couldn’t seem to remember. Had he hurt like this, once? I wasn’t sure I wanted to know.
“Let’s get you home,” Carlisle said then, as he released the parking brake and pulled back onto the highway.
Home. I knew he meant the big white house in the forest, but I couldn’t seem to associate the word with it, or with any other place.
Where is home, when your heart is broken?
--
AN1: I’ve started a Twitter specifically for my writing. Follow me @glasscannonlj for daily updates on how the next chapter is going, and excerpts from upcoming chapters.
AN2: The thread for NC over at the Twilighted.net forums is going strong, come by and say hi! Larger spoilers here from time to time, by request. ;)
AN3: Everyone needs to go read Jezunya’s “To the Wolves”, which is here. Jez is off at bootcamp for another month or so, but I have it on good authority that she’ll be updating when she’s back home. And I know she’d love to come home to lots of new reviews!
--
Chapter 10 - Unexpected
No Choice index