(no subject)
A feeling of apathy has set in today. A numbness I have not known for a long time.
I am often told that I do not care, when in fact if I didn't care I would not have issues in my life. For a long time I kept to myself and never opened up, and although I wasn't entirely happy I never felt guilty or ashamed or any sense of failure. I try to compromise, and am told that I am selfish. I try see things through the eyes of others, and am told that I take advantage. I try to explain but my explainations just raise more questions. I try to try, and am told that I never do.
I feel overwhelmed. Longing to live and feel as I briefly did, completely open and without question or doubt. Lately all I have been feeling is doubt and trying to answer questions for myself and others. Unfortunately answers do not always mean closure, and closure is something that people sometimes cannot do without.
I am tired. I am confused. I am torn. I am hurting. I am a mess. I am sorry.
I am often told that I do not care, when in fact if I didn't care I would not have issues in my life. For a long time I kept to myself and never opened up, and although I wasn't entirely happy I never felt guilty or ashamed or any sense of failure. I try to compromise, and am told that I am selfish. I try see things through the eyes of others, and am told that I take advantage. I try to explain but my explainations just raise more questions. I try to try, and am told that I never do.
I feel overwhelmed. Longing to live and feel as I briefly did, completely open and without question or doubt. Lately all I have been feeling is doubt and trying to answer questions for myself and others. Unfortunately answers do not always mean closure, and closure is something that people sometimes cannot do without.
I am tired. I am confused. I am torn. I am hurting. I am a mess. I am sorry.