The pain trickles down my heeks, dissolving into my mouth.
Things have been so tough as of late.
I went to my doctor yesterday and revealed everything. His reaction was to double my meds and to tell me to go see the student counsellor. I asked him for a referral, he said he could give me one, but to see how the meds work first. I showed him everything, he swore as a reaction, and then told me its a 'common problem' and to take my meds.
I felt shattered.
I am breaking so slowly.
It is so incredibly hard to hold on. I love others more than I do myself.
These pills are making me lose the little grasp on myself that I had. I get annoyed at pathetic things, say the stupidest things to people - my mum in particular, that hurt her alot.
I cannot even cry anymore, I don't feel like crying. I just feel numb and depressed.
Anyway.
I am soooo broke, it bites. Today I bought this really nice organic Hemp Seed Oil shampoo, conditioner and face wash, for $2.50 each. Which I was pleased with, it makes my skin and hair smell really earthy, which I like alot. I also bought 2 loaves of bread which I will live on for lunch until payday, and some toothpaste.
Three people at work asked me if I have lost weight, which is quite amusing, I am convinced that I have put it on. I am going to try lose some though, on payday I am going to buy some scales to make sure I am losing it. I can't be bothered cooking anymore, which is a good thing.
Dug should come back tomorrow, he, Ilya and Tofu wne tdown to Wellington. I am looking forward to him coming back. Susie, Lana and I are probably going to go down there to go shopping, which will be awesome.
Geoff comes here from Aussie in 10 days, I cannot wait. It gives me something to look forward to.
I went to my doctor yesterday and revealed everything. His reaction was to double my meds and to tell me to go see the student counsellor. I asked him for a referral, he said he could give me one, but to see how the meds work first. I showed him everything, he swore as a reaction, and then told me its a 'common problem' and to take my meds.
I felt shattered.
I am breaking so slowly.
It is so incredibly hard to hold on. I love others more than I do myself.
These pills are making me lose the little grasp on myself that I had. I get annoyed at pathetic things, say the stupidest things to people - my mum in particular, that hurt her alot.
I cannot even cry anymore, I don't feel like crying. I just feel numb and depressed.
Anyway.
I am soooo broke, it bites. Today I bought this really nice organic Hemp Seed Oil shampoo, conditioner and face wash, for $2.50 each. Which I was pleased with, it makes my skin and hair smell really earthy, which I like alot. I also bought 2 loaves of bread which I will live on for lunch until payday, and some toothpaste.
Three people at work asked me if I have lost weight, which is quite amusing, I am convinced that I have put it on. I am going to try lose some though, on payday I am going to buy some scales to make sure I am losing it. I can't be bothered cooking anymore, which is a good thing.
Dug should come back tomorrow, he, Ilya and Tofu wne tdown to Wellington. I am looking forward to him coming back. Susie, Lana and I are probably going to go down there to go shopping, which will be awesome.
Geoff comes here from Aussie in 10 days, I cannot wait. It gives me something to look forward to.