I hate myself for what i've become
I don't think people should like me anymore. I don't like me, so no one else should. My problem all this time is that I'm not comfortable with who or what I am. I'm reserved because I'm unsure. And since i'm unsure it makes me look like an insecure little puppy craving any attention anyone will give to it. I dilute myself into believing in feelings that aren't real, I'm no good at anything that I do, and it all breaks down to the simple fact that I don't know how to be myself. I don't know how to like me. And since I don't know how to do that, how can I expect to get women to be attracted to me. Women aren't attracted to a broken down nervous wreck. They're attracted to a man that can be a man. Thats the simple fact. I've been told this over and over again in so many ways its rediculous. You'd think I would have got the picture by now. No, instead of starting on step one i've been trying to jump to steps 5 and 6. I don't know what to do. I don't know why i'm so insecure, neurotic, paranoid, whatever. I need to discover myself and it isn't happening in Battle Creek fucking Michigan. I feel like fucking crying.