By the skin of the teeth; by the scruff of the soul.

[glass_beddau]

[Outside the Diabolique, heading to home]
[Late enough to have ruined a relaxing night out]

"Yes. You will." Okay then, and I can feel my heart hitch and lift a little. Okay

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[glass_beddau]

"Oh. Um. No, not so difficult." Shifting around--if it was Johnny, if I was sure he hadn't drunk so much I needed to worry, I'd have had him take off the jacket at least, seen about pushing the seat back. Uncomfortable is awake, though. Murmur acknowledgement to everything being easier.

"Yes," and hit the button, get the fresh air in. "Do you have a cigarette?"

"Yeah, hang on," and then I realize that I've left my purse with the liston between me and Oscar, and pick it up, set it on my lap. Dig out my cigarette case, and pass him a lighter when we stop for a red light, and try not to imagine what Dorian would say.

Okay, he might have something to say about giving Oscar a lit cigarette, but I am going to file that as less of a deal.

"I didn't know you smoked." Just mouth-noises, really. "Where are you from? I mean-- which city, and all."

I cannot believe I am having this conversation. Focus on driving, and pretend I am trying to talk to an intern at the morgue, someone who's waiting for their first review. Let's just run with that.

[oscar_merton]

I take the cigarette, look at it for longer than perhaps I should, and finally light it. "I didn't know you smoked." I don't know if I should inhale or not? It burns, but it's such a vague feeling, like someone's describing it to me. Like, for a moment, I'm not here.

I blink and shake my head. "I haven't before. Wanted to try it." And it's not like I should worry that it'll kill me. I laugh and there's smoke in my lungs and I have to hold the door handle to catch my breath.

"Where are you from? I mean-- which city, and all."

"Prague." I look at the cigarette again before I try another puff. "I grew up in Prague, is what I mean to-- Brno before here. If that's what you want to know."

[glass_beddau]

"I haven't before. Wanted to try it," and there's something about that, the drinking but not the smoking, that just seems so gently weird to me.

"Careful," I say lightly. "First time I tried, I thought I was going to throw up." Seriously did; spent three minutes turning green and hunched over a toilet bowl. Not a pleasant experience.

Prague I know; Brno I don't.

"Yeah, kind of." Wondering what the hell Dorian is making of this conversation. Wondering where the hell to go, too--it's sure as fuck not like I can talk about his family. "Where'd you learn to speak English?" That I'm at least a bit curious about.

[oscar_merton]

"Where'd you learn to speak English?"

"My father was English," I say, looking out the window. My hair is in my eyes but the wind feels good on my face. I don't feel as though I'll be sick, or at least not immediately sick. It's an improvement. "Merton is not a very common last name, in Prague," I say, smiling a little before I catch my reflection in the side mirror and stop. "You are American, correct?" I don't care, exactly, but talking is something to do.

[glass_beddau]

"Merton is not a very common last name, in Prague," and I smile a little. "You are American, correct?"

"Is it that obvious?" Which falls pretty flat, I think. Dammit, it's not like I can even ask about his job, and I at least crack a smile at the idea.

Brake gently and turn, and we're most of the way there, now. "How're you-- okay, what were those pills?" Let out a thin and slightly ragged sound. "Professional curiousity."

[oscar_merton]

I grab the door handle when she brakes but manage not to go anywhere. The seat belt. Right.

"How're you-- okay, what were those pills?" She sighs and I turn to look at her. "Professional curiousity."

"Ah, yes. You are the coroner," I say, though I hadn't really forgotten. Only temporarily misplaced the information. I look back out the window. "Diazepam. I think. It wasn't mine."

[glass_beddau]

"Ah, yes. You are the coroner," and I lift my chin a little, feel a smile. "Diazepam. I think. It wasn't mine."

"Valium? You-- oh, dammit, never mind." Just it makes me tired, to think of him, of anyone, going with that. So often. Remember what Dorian said, about what Berzin taught him to use when he had trouble sleeping... "At least it wasn't heroin."

Take the last turn, and park, and undo my seatbelt. "Come on," I say. "Third floor. Pardon the lack of an elevator. They don't pay us so well."

[oscar_merton]

"At least it wasn't heroin."

"Would that have worked you think?" I question, though very mildly. It's difficult to get too invested in anything, just now, so I think I am just curious.

She parks the car and that's good, because the filter is burning on the cigarette and I was wondering what to do with it. I let it drop from my fingers. "Come on. Third floor." I undo my seat belt after a few tries. "Pardon the lack of an elevator. They don`t pay us so well."

"I can- I can walk." Probably. I manage to get out of the car well enough, though I'm up the first flight of stairs before I remember my bag. "It's not important."

[glass_beddau]

"Would that have worked you think?"

"Probably." I feel cold and quiet, saying it, and look down. Wish Oya was here. "I mean, if there was a comparable volume. Do you remember how much you took?" Stop it. Stop it and get him inside and...

He forgets his bag; I don't remind him.

"I can- I can walk." Good. Lock up the car, come up the stairs a little behind him, just to catch him if he falls. Says something about it not being important, something distant enough that I'm not sure if he means being able to walk or just everything, and keeps going.

"First on the left," I say, when he makes it to the top floor. Pull out my keys, the kind of noise Dorian can place, and open the door for him.

[dorian_excolo]

The engine dies. Footsteps on the stairs. Her keys in the door. I wait in the hallway as it opens, my back to the wall, and the stumbling steps are his, I know before I see his outline. Good. Good girl.

There's enough space between them to move. The door closes. I cover his mouth with a hand and press the stun gun to his neck. He doesn't even fight back, just shudders against me and collapses like a ragdoll dropped on the floor.

I turn on the light. "Are you okay?"

[glass_beddau]

He goes in and I follow, and then the space between us is full of something dark and quick, stepping back, and a breaking scratching sound and the sound of Oscar falling loose and heavy to the floor.

There's no blood. I'd smell blood, wouldn't I?

"Are you okay?"

"Yes," muffled behind my hands and door shut, lights on, Oscar down, okay, okay. "'m okay. He never t-touched--" Lean back against the wall. "'m okay. You-- is he?"

[dorian_excolo]

Her back's to the wall and I hesitate, thinking of something cornered and small. "Unconscious." I hold the stun gun up so she can see it, through her fingers if she looks, and then I set it on the floor. "It's okay." I step up and pull her hands from her face. "I mean, it will be. It will be okay."

I press a kiss to her forehead and I want to hold her, she looks so small and I just want to hold her until she's big again, but I can't. I look back to Oscar. "Why is he here?"

[glass_beddau]

"Unconscious," and I start to breathe again. "It's okay." Hands on my hands and that helps, even if it doesn't feel quite real. "I mean, it will be. It will be okay."

"Right." Mouth on my forehead and I turn a little, step forward and lean into him and start trying to think. Unconscious-- oh, wait, shit, I need to get him a drink.

"Why is he here?"

"I want..." Oh god, this is not going to sound good. "I. Someone needs to help him and I don't know where to take him," I say, leaning against Dorian. "I need to fix... Can you wake him up?"

[dorian_excolo]

She leans into me and we can both breathe better for it. "I want... I. Someone needs to help him and I don't know where to take him," she says and I'm not following, I don't understand, but I stay silent. I let her finish. "I need to fix... Can you wake him up?"

The question is startling. I look down at her and shake my head. "No. It usually takes a few minutes." That's personal experience, of course. "It could be longer."

I look at him again. "Why are you helping him?" Pause. "What do you mean helping?"

[glass_beddau]

"Why are you helping him?" and I shake my head; not that I don't know, but that it's not easy to get it straight. "What do you mean helping?"

"He's trying to kill himself." Lean harder into him for a second, then kneel down. Oscar's a sodden lump, but a breathing one; shift his head for a clear airway. "I don't--" Oh god, this is one of those really basic things that I have no idea how to explain on top of far too much stress and some terrible drinks.

"I am not okay with that," is what I say. "I am not okay with-- with him having everything fall apart, and then trying to follow it down. I am not okay with Berzin, with his uncle, with, with any of it being done to him, it's not right and there's no-one else and I don't want to do it, it's not fair. It's just not." Oscar being like this, me catching the job, none of it.

"Can you get him into the bathroom?" I say, getting back up. "I need to get the activated charcoal."

[dorian_excolo]

"He's trying to kill himself."

I'm not surprised.

She kneels down beside him and I take the stun gun from the floor. He can't move, I know that, but it's good to have it out of reach.

"I am not okay with that," she finally says. "I am not okay with-- with him having everything fall apart, and then trying to follow it down. I am not okay with Berzin, with his uncle, with, with any of it being done to him, it's not right and there's no-one else and I don't want to do it, it's not fair. It's just not."

Blink.

"Can you get him into the bathroom? I need to get the activated charcoal."

I take a breath. "Yes." But I don't move. "So you are trying to stop him from killing himself?" Pause. "Sometimes it's not something you can stop, Glass. Sometimes... It's not your decision to make."