Vox mellifluus

[gland]

Well, looks like I have a criminal record now. The Taiwanese authorities found out about the illicit import of BBQ, and now I'm rotting in some dingy Tapei jail cell for gwailo. Luckily I can pick up WiFi in here, using my Prince Albert piercing with my shaft wrapped in tinfoil as an antenna. I am pleading for anyone with access to the Taiwanese embassy to petition them; when I get out, I can liquidate my Korean assets and reward whomever secures my release with thirty-three score and six ₩ (woolongs). Quite the hefty bounty for große nüben like yourselves.

Blub blub, bitch.