Baby Girl, I'm a Blur
Void void void.
There is something blissful about numbness. There is something wonderful about apathy. Afterall, what can get under your skin when its made of steel? What can arouse any sort of emotion from a core turning out nothing but a straight line?
Lethargic.
I've always stated that I wished I lived in a dream world. If I could go to sleep and never wake up and spend the rest of my life drooling on my pillow as I had naughty, shameful sex with Robert Pattinson I would consider myself successful. However, applying a dreamy quality to real life only leaves me feeling disconnected. When I end a conversation and have no recall of what I said, or if I should remember something I begin thinking its time I developed a taste for ginko biloba. Or speed.
I have claimed on more than one occasion, that I would like to be remote and distant and flatlined in regards to emotions. An "unfeeling butterfly" was the exact terminology I used (butterfly? Really? Jesus I'm a literary idiot).
I take it back. I take it all back. I have spent the majority of this week feeling non-chalant and apathetic and numb and its anything but blissful. Its certainly not wonderful. Its weird.
I shall refrain from the emotional valium.
Ahhh moods... And people wonder why I don't answer my phone.
There is something blissful about numbness. There is something wonderful about apathy. Afterall, what can get under your skin when its made of steel? What can arouse any sort of emotion from a core turning out nothing but a straight line?
Lethargic.
I've always stated that I wished I lived in a dream world. If I could go to sleep and never wake up and spend the rest of my life drooling on my pillow as I had naughty, shameful sex with Robert Pattinson I would consider myself successful. However, applying a dreamy quality to real life only leaves me feeling disconnected. When I end a conversation and have no recall of what I said, or if I should remember something I begin thinking its time I developed a taste for ginko biloba. Or speed.
I have claimed on more than one occasion, that I would like to be remote and distant and flatlined in regards to emotions. An "unfeeling butterfly" was the exact terminology I used (butterfly? Really? Jesus I'm a literary idiot).
I take it back. I take it all back. I have spent the majority of this week feeling non-chalant and apathetic and numb and its anything but blissful. Its certainly not wonderful. Its weird.
I shall refrain from the emotional valium.
Ahhh moods... And people wonder why I don't answer my phone.