[FIC] M is for Moobs - Chapter 1
→ M is for Moobs
→ JaeHo
→ 1/?
→ PG13
→ Humor | Crack | Romance | Fluff | Mild Angst | Smut
→ Jaejoong is a fitness trainer. He has the perfect body that everyone admires. He has one fetish; he likes fat people. It just happens that Yunho is a fat university student who wants to lose some weight.
→ Beta -> moon1084
Chapter 1
Yunho's POV
“He is so hot.”
The loud sound of a squeal coming out of my mouth filled the stadium. One of the guys sitting beside me told me that I sounded like a cheerleader, but I knew what he meant. He was obviously referring to my hotness because if you thought about it, cheerleaders were pretty much hot and that leaded to the conclusion that I was hot myself.
I shrugged my shoulder and gave his presence no importance and my attention was back to the match. I was pretty much to engrossed in cheering to give a damn to the people around me and seriously, who could blame me? No one could. Look at those strong thighs when they kick the ball. Not the ball you’re thinking of, real balls on the field. It was so freaking hot how those thigh muscles constricted and then went back to normal with just a kick.
“GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAL!”
I screamed at the top of my lungs as the ball crossed the line and entered the net. I couldn’t think of anyone else who could score such a hot goal like him. He was running sexily with his super short shorts, teasing me over and over again. And oh my freaking heart, he lifted his shirt and tugged it behind his neck. My brain shut down and I was having a serious heart attack. My hand flew to catch my beating heart and I tried, really tried to breath, but it proved difficult as he bit his lips, HARD, to prove his happiness. One thought crossed my mind-
“WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME?”
I squealed loudly again like the fanboy I was. I understood what he was doing, oh, I did very well. He was such a tease and I was pretty much sure that he KNEW that lifting your shirt meant showing off your nipples. I COULD SEE HIS NIPPLES.
Fihoiwehoigfwehgoiewhgrhigohwor I IS INCOHERENT. Don’t even try to correct me. Part of me being incoherent meant misspelling words and making grammar mistakes. My throat was dry, so fucking dry and all I wanted to do was to pinch those deliciously pink nipples. Unfffff, such a freaking tease.
Shit!
I was doing it again. Jung Yunho, focus. You were here to write a report for the school’s newspaper, about how our team was beating the shit out of their opponent and how Kim Junsu -the captain of the team- was so freaking hot running around on the field kicking butts and scoring goddamn hot goals.
“Stop it!”
Talk about timing. I sighed and then glared at my annoying friend who cut my admiring-the-hot-and-sexy-Junsu moment.
“What?”
“Stop fucking him with your eyes.”
“I’m not eye fucking him. He is the one teasing.”
“Oh yeah, well stop eye fucking his teasing body and take some pictures for your report.”
“Oh shit, I have to take some pictures.”
Well, if that was not my favorite part of the show. I get to take shots of Junsu’s well-defined abs, perfect triceps, strong legs and his oh-so-sexy ass.
The camera was stuck to my face and after taking a few shots, I lowered it. My jaw dropped and my mouth watered. Kim Junsu was teasing me again; I swear he was doing it on purpose. Oh my Gosh, he was doing it again, pretending to be tired and bending on his knees to show his perfectly shaped ass. Oh how I want to grope it and spank it and…
“You’re drooling.”
If glares could burn then Changmin would be ashes by now. I even gave him the you-are-such-a-pain-in-the-ass look for always interrupting the best parts of the game. I turned my gaze from my annoying friend and stared at Junsu.
“One day I will go straight to him and tell him how much I freaking love him.”
“And how much you want to fuck him.”
I glared at him AGAIN, but it seemed to never work. Such an arrogant, tall and skinny bastard he was. He always wore that calm and arrogant look that said I’m better than you, but he wasn’t.
Who did he think he was? He was not better than me. I was as good looking as he was. I was tall, almost as tall as him, and my face was small and I have a cute and sexy mole above my cute little small lips and I was smart and my hair was gorgeous and girls liked to talk to me because I’m so funny and I have a lot of friends who don’t make fun of me. Well, not all of them. Just one and he was sitting next to me. Such an arrogant bastard.
“I’m not an arrogant bastard.”
Woah! Woah! People he read minds?
“And I don’t read minds.”
Fuck!
“Don’t curse.”
But how?
“I just know you. Now sit your fat ass here and stop being so gay.”
Hum, he thought he could order me around? Huh, think again Shim Changmin, I’m Jung Yunho, I’m not scared of anyone and I certainly don’t have a fat ass…
Ok maybe a little bit fat…
Fine, a little bit fatter…
FINE, I have a fat ass, so what? Every freaking woman in the world wants Beyonce’s big ass, and they say it’s sexy. And I have a fat and sexy ass who up till now never been groped before, and I intend to make a certain someone grope it. And yes, I dream about him fucking me. So what? He is hot and I don’t have a girlfriend or a boyfriend. And don’t even think about saying that a fat person can’t have a girlfriend or a boyfriend because I had plenty of them, but none at the moment. What can I do? I’m cute and funny and they can’t resist me.
“He is gay.”
“Who?”
“Junsu.”
NO FREAKING WAY!
“Yes freaking way!”
Ok he got to stop doing this, he’s seriously freaking the shit out of my system, and you shouldn’t freak your shit or it would bother you and give you a stomach ache all day and night and then you wouldn’t be able to eat or shit or sleep. Shit shouldn’t be bother at any cost, or you’d be screwed for life. Especially if you had a fat ass, man, it’s the worst experience, once I ate no fat cheese and it was so shitty that my stomach didn’t accept it, then my shit got bothered, and I got bothered and my ass hurt for a whole freaking week. My body shudders just by the memory.
Shit got me out of track, but the point is, he got to stop his reading minds ability but not really reading minds. Now Junsu was gay. Hmmm, interesting.
“Just confess already.”
“Don’t wanna.”
“Why?”
“Because I might get hurt.”
“Why?”
“Because he is hot.”
“So?”
“So?”
“He dated Park Yoochun before, did you know that?”
“He did?”
“If he liked wide foreheads and slim muscle-less bodies, then you are perfect, and you don’t have a wide forehead.”
“So you’re saying that I’m hot like Yoochun?”
“When did I say that you are hot?”
Well, that sucks.
“It doesn’t suck, just go and try your luck”
“You gotta stop that man. This is getting freaky”
“I just know you just like I know the shape of my cock,” He mused eating his popcorn.
“Why you little…”
Aish, what could I do? Please, anyone, just tell me a way that I could kill him and then revive him so I could torture him and then kill him again and then revive him to torture him and then kill him again and then… Ok you got my point.
“Junsu oppa is so cute. Today I will confess after the game”
Woah woah woah, back off bitch. He’s gay, Changmin just told me about it. I have the package down there, so I’m ahead of you. HUH, in your face, ugly bitch.
I grinned and really grinned at the possibility of me dating him. Oh My God! It would be a dream come true. Awwww, I feel my eyes watering, I want to cry.
“I hate soccer matches,” Changmin made a face.
Why, oh why was he trying to make me hate him? Why people? WHY? Always, always ALWAYS ruining the fun and my mood with it.
“It’s ok, I hate you too.”
I said grinning, hehehe, one score for Yunnie.
“And I’m madly in love with you.”
I think he just embarrassed me, right? Oh, I see, he was trying to be smart? Not on me, I knew him so well and I was as smart as him. My strikes always knocked him down and scored higher marks.
“Save it for your porn stars.”
Bwahhahaha, I did it. Look at his face all red and shocked. Omo, even the girl beside me was laughing; I think I just scored ten points. I was so so so smart, wohoho, a genius.
“You’re one of them. Remember when you stripped for me.”
Motherfucking asshole!
“Paw, hundred points.”
He shot me with his invisible gun and it struck me in the heart. The asshole, now not only the girl next to me but the whole row behind and in front of me were eyeing me with amusement. Wait, was that girl smiling at me? Well hello there sexy.
WAIT, I shouldn’t look at anyone but Junsu. This was considered cheating. Omo, I couldn’t cheat on him before even going out with him right? So I stuck my nose up and gave her the poker face and ignore her suggestive smile. I told you I’m popular. I chuckled at my own thoughts. Aah, it feels good being confident.
“Are you coming or not? The game is already over and the pole is waiting for you at home.”
Now I will kill him.
“I will KILL YOU.”
I ran after him and he laughed hard and loud and ran as fast as his long long long LONG legs could run. If there was something I hated the most, it was running. I wasn’t a fast runner and I knew very well that I would never be able to catch up to him. He was running like goddamn lightning, and I guess from all your studying at school, you’d know that lightning travels at the speed of light, which is very very fast in comparison with my speed, which would be pretty much something I prefer not to compare to the speed of light. The most hateful thing about running was when I was wearing a thin shirt like the one I was wearing.
It showed EVERYTHING!
With every leap, my body would shake and bounce. Oh my effing God! It’s so embarrassing how my not so flat boobs start bouncing. They are fucking flying in the fucking air and they are out of my freaking control. Every time I run, every fucking time I just have to hug my chest so people wouldn’t stare at my bouncing boobs. I fucking hate them.
Gaaaah, Changmin was out of my sight in no time, and I was so tired. Damn damn damn, my lungs were betraying me. NO, don’t, just make me get to him, catch him, beat the shit out him, and then fail me. Please, oh shit, I’m dying.
I stopped running, rested my hands on my knees, and panted. I should start working harder at losing some weight, I was losing my energy.
“Excuse me, you’re blocking my way!”
I froze. Oh my God that voice. It was that hot and sexy voice that could take me to the highest skies or bury me into the ground. I turned and I swear my heart was about to stop. Should I hug him? No, he would think that I’m a freak and would be scared of me for life. I think I should just ask him for an autograph. Yes, this one is normal not freaky or creepy.
“J-J-Junsu-Shi, c-c-can I have y-y-you’re a-autograph.”
FUCK YOU stupid fucking mouth. Fuck my nervousness, this is so fucking embarrassing. GOD, I just want the earth to split and swallow me whole.
“Sure, you have a pen?”
Oh my God, did you see this? He was smiling at me. The smile was for me. FOR ME, JUST FOR ME.
“I like you.”
HOLY.FUCKING.SHIT. FUCK.YOU. MY.STUPID.MOUTH. OMG! OMG! OMG! What should I do, OMG! OMG! OMG!
“Excuse me?”
And he was blushing. Dear everyone, Please kill me. Yours, Me.
Ok I was just kidding; there was no way in hell I was going to make this opportunity slip out of my hind. There was no going back. Jung Yunho, you’ve been waiting for this for ages. If your fucking mouth failed you then take his failure to heart and take responsibility of its failure.
“I-I’ve always liked you.”
I said it, finally I did. And I didn’t even plan it. Maybe this was fate and God just loved me and that’s why he threw Junsu in my face and made my mouth vomit all those words. It’s just fa…
“I’m sorry.”
Ok maybe God didn’t quite like me.
“Eh?”
I asked, the only thing I could do was just ask. WHY, what was wrong with me? Was it because I was fat?
“It’s not because you’re fat, it’s just…”
“You heard that?”
“Yeah, you were kind of… thinking loudly”
I sighed, damit my fail brain and my fucking mouth. Was my mouth really a part of my body? Because I think it’s not. I mean, how could you think of a thing and then say it without thinking of saying it?
Despite my failure, I knew that I just had to ask why. Oh why didn’t he accept me? I had to know why I failed so hard.
“But, why?”
I think I sound so pitiful. I’ve never heard my voice like this before. I guess I really liked him huh!
“I kinda have a boyfriend”
Aw he was so sweet, shifting and playing with the hem of his team uniform that was by the way still drenched with his hot sweat.
“Park Yoochun?”
“Eh? How did you know?”
“Well, my friend told me”
“I see. So it’s not a secret anymore, huh?”
“I guess.”
I pouted, I didn’t really mean to, but it’s just natural right? I felt like crying. I wanted to slam my head on my soft pillow, hug my Bambi and cry my eyes out.
“Am I not good enough?”
Ok maybe this was a stupid question. Watching idol stars confessing to empty air and using their lines in real life was such a big fail. I myself couldn’t believe that I just used it. This line combined with my failed confession was just disturbing. Stupid fucking mouth saying whatever it wanted.
“Do you want the truth?”
Dear lord, he said that biting his lips. STOP IT, biting his lips just made his lips redder, hotter, and more kissable. But I had to ask, to left the failure up my shoulders.
“What?”
He smiled that gorgeous smile of his and looked at me.
“When these…” He pointed to my cheek and then moved his finger to point to my eyes. “Stop pressing on these. Then you will be much cuter.”
“Are you saying my cheeks are fat and pressing on my eyes?”
I think I just stated the obvious because he blushed some more and nodded his head. Oh my dear mother, why did you feed me so much when I was a child? Are you happy now that I was called fat? And my cheeks were pressing on my eyes and making them smaller?
“I didn’t mean to insult you, really. I was overweight before too you know.”
“Really?”
Well that was unexpected.
“My brother helped me loss weight and train my body. He is a fitness trainer. Maybe you can visit him, he is really good.”
Now I loved him more. Awww, he was so sweet offering me to go to his brother for help. I think I wanted to lose weight, because honestly my diet didn’t work at all. And I just keep losing my energy instead of weight. I sighed without even noticing and looked at his cute face. I think it’s ok to ask him for a kiss right? Like a break up kiss or something.
“Can I… kiss you?”
Ok I think I shouldn’t say this. I looked like a freaking pervert. Oh God please make lightning strike my head and kill me already.
“Mmmm, sorry but, Yoochun will kill you”
“It’s ok, I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking. I just really like you.”
“Sorry.”
“It’s ok, really.”
“Ok then, bye.”
I heard my heart shattering. My love life ended before it even started. What a major fail. I think I need a drink. No wait, alcohol can make you fat, and I don’t need any more fat. I sighed and dropped my head low.
Where was Changmin when I needed him? I want to hug him and cry in his embrace. Even if he laughed at me, I didn’t care. I just wanted to cry.
“Yunho?”
“Changmin?”
I turned and he was there.
Confession time people. Maybe he was annoying and idiot and such an arrogant bastard but he was so sweet and lovely and I just loved him so much. He was my best friend who accepted me for whom I am and was now able to read my mind before I speak. Oh the blessing of having a best friend.
“Minnie, I just confessed.”
“To who?”
Maybe he was slow sometimes.
“Junsu.”
I said as my quivered. He sighed and opened his arms for me and I didn’t wait and threw myself on him. He hugged me and I teared in his arms. It seemed as if he knew that I failed. Somehow it was the creepy I-know-everything-about-you-and-what-happened-when-I-wasn’t-there kind of situation where it always happened with Changmin.
“It’s ok buddy. You just failed miserably, that’s all.”
“I know. But why do I always fail?”
He sighed and looked at my eyes and smirked. Why do I have a bad feeling about this?
“I’ve told you before that you should just love me, but you didn’t listen. Well, you’re the loser not me.”
“Hahahaha!”
Ok, now I knew why I loved him. He just made me laugh. Imagine me loving him, tsk tsk tsk, as if. Man that would be hilarious.
“I know, we will look stupid. Like Timon and Pumba” He said.
He was such a mean ass.
“YAH!”
“Ok fine, like number ten.”
“You’re saying that I’m fat?”
“Aren’t you?”
“Yes I am.”
I pouted and hugged my chubby body. I wore a thin shirt but it was baggy to hide my fats, but it didn’t work very well actually. Oh how I wanted to wear that shirt on Changmin. It’s so hot.
“Junsu said that I have to go to a fitness trainer.”
“So he did say that you are fat?”
“Kinda, but not in a mean way. He is so sweet.”
“But I think he is right. Don’t you think it’s time to ask an expert? You don’t eat anything and you are as fat as an elephant”
“Hey, that’s way too mean.”
I slapped his arms hard, REALLY hard, because this was super mean. The image of my face plastered on an elephant face appeared in my head and it made me feel really bad about myself. But why couldn’t I hate him? Yeah, maybe because he was telling the damn TRUTH.
“You know I’m joking, don’t take it seriously. You’re not fat, you’re just chubby. Couple pounds and it’s over.”
“You’re right. You think I should go to Junsu’s brother? He said he is a fitness trainer.”
“Why are you so stupid? You were rejected by him and then you go to his brother? This is so pathetic, even for you, this is way too pathetic.”
Stab my heart with a knife please because I just want to die right now.
“Then what should I do?”
“I know the perfect place. My cousin went there and he said that it’s good and the trainers are so strict, which is a necessity for someone like you.”
“Why so?”
“I just know!”
“Why do you know?”
“Because I know you like I know…”
“The shape of your cock, I know.”
See, I could read minds too. Hehehe!
“Actually I was going to say like I know my age, but the shape of my cock is quite convincing.”
Damin it.
+++
Next
→ JaeHo
→ 1/?
→ PG13
→ Humor | Crack | Romance | Fluff | Mild Angst | Smut
→ Jaejoong is a fitness trainer. He has the perfect body that everyone admires. He has one fetish; he likes fat people. It just happens that Yunho is a fat university student who wants to lose some weight.
→ Beta -> moon1084
Chapter 1
Yunho's POV
“He is so hot.”
The loud sound of a squeal coming out of my mouth filled the stadium. One of the guys sitting beside me told me that I sounded like a cheerleader, but I knew what he meant. He was obviously referring to my hotness because if you thought about it, cheerleaders were pretty much hot and that leaded to the conclusion that I was hot myself.
I shrugged my shoulder and gave his presence no importance and my attention was back to the match. I was pretty much to engrossed in cheering to give a damn to the people around me and seriously, who could blame me? No one could. Look at those strong thighs when they kick the ball. Not the ball you’re thinking of, real balls on the field. It was so freaking hot how those thigh muscles constricted and then went back to normal with just a kick.
“GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAL!”
I screamed at the top of my lungs as the ball crossed the line and entered the net. I couldn’t think of anyone else who could score such a hot goal like him. He was running sexily with his super short shorts, teasing me over and over again. And oh my freaking heart, he lifted his shirt and tugged it behind his neck. My brain shut down and I was having a serious heart attack. My hand flew to catch my beating heart and I tried, really tried to breath, but it proved difficult as he bit his lips, HARD, to prove his happiness. One thought crossed my mind-
“WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME?”
I squealed loudly again like the fanboy I was. I understood what he was doing, oh, I did very well. He was such a tease and I was pretty much sure that he KNEW that lifting your shirt meant showing off your nipples. I COULD SEE HIS NIPPLES.
Fihoiwehoigfwehgoiewhgrhigohwor I IS INCOHERENT. Don’t even try to correct me. Part of me being incoherent meant misspelling words and making grammar mistakes. My throat was dry, so fucking dry and all I wanted to do was to pinch those deliciously pink nipples. Unfffff, such a freaking tease.
Shit!
I was doing it again. Jung Yunho, focus. You were here to write a report for the school’s newspaper, about how our team was beating the shit out of their opponent and how Kim Junsu -the captain of the team- was so freaking hot running around on the field kicking butts and scoring goddamn hot goals.
“Stop it!”
Talk about timing. I sighed and then glared at my annoying friend who cut my admiring-the-hot-and-sexy-Junsu moment.
“What?”
“Stop fucking him with your eyes.”
“I’m not eye fucking him. He is the one teasing.”
“Oh yeah, well stop eye fucking his teasing body and take some pictures for your report.”
“Oh shit, I have to take some pictures.”
Well, if that was not my favorite part of the show. I get to take shots of Junsu’s well-defined abs, perfect triceps, strong legs and his oh-so-sexy ass.
The camera was stuck to my face and after taking a few shots, I lowered it. My jaw dropped and my mouth watered. Kim Junsu was teasing me again; I swear he was doing it on purpose. Oh my Gosh, he was doing it again, pretending to be tired and bending on his knees to show his perfectly shaped ass. Oh how I want to grope it and spank it and…
“You’re drooling.”
If glares could burn then Changmin would be ashes by now. I even gave him the you-are-such-a-pain-in-the-ass look for always interrupting the best parts of the game. I turned my gaze from my annoying friend and stared at Junsu.
“One day I will go straight to him and tell him how much I freaking love him.”
“And how much you want to fuck him.”
I glared at him AGAIN, but it seemed to never work. Such an arrogant, tall and skinny bastard he was. He always wore that calm and arrogant look that said I’m better than you, but he wasn’t.
Who did he think he was? He was not better than me. I was as good looking as he was. I was tall, almost as tall as him, and my face was small and I have a cute and sexy mole above my cute little small lips and I was smart and my hair was gorgeous and girls liked to talk to me because I’m so funny and I have a lot of friends who don’t make fun of me. Well, not all of them. Just one and he was sitting next to me. Such an arrogant bastard.
“I’m not an arrogant bastard.”
Woah! Woah! People he read minds?
“And I don’t read minds.”
Fuck!
“Don’t curse.”
But how?
“I just know you. Now sit your fat ass here and stop being so gay.”
Hum, he thought he could order me around? Huh, think again Shim Changmin, I’m Jung Yunho, I’m not scared of anyone and I certainly don’t have a fat ass…
Ok maybe a little bit fat…
Fine, a little bit fatter…
FINE, I have a fat ass, so what? Every freaking woman in the world wants Beyonce’s big ass, and they say it’s sexy. And I have a fat and sexy ass who up till now never been groped before, and I intend to make a certain someone grope it. And yes, I dream about him fucking me. So what? He is hot and I don’t have a girlfriend or a boyfriend. And don’t even think about saying that a fat person can’t have a girlfriend or a boyfriend because I had plenty of them, but none at the moment. What can I do? I’m cute and funny and they can’t resist me.
“He is gay.”
“Who?”
“Junsu.”
NO FREAKING WAY!
“Yes freaking way!”
Ok he got to stop doing this, he’s seriously freaking the shit out of my system, and you shouldn’t freak your shit or it would bother you and give you a stomach ache all day and night and then you wouldn’t be able to eat or shit or sleep. Shit shouldn’t be bother at any cost, or you’d be screwed for life. Especially if you had a fat ass, man, it’s the worst experience, once I ate no fat cheese and it was so shitty that my stomach didn’t accept it, then my shit got bothered, and I got bothered and my ass hurt for a whole freaking week. My body shudders just by the memory.
Shit got me out of track, but the point is, he got to stop his reading minds ability but not really reading minds. Now Junsu was gay. Hmmm, interesting.
“Just confess already.”
“Don’t wanna.”
“Why?”
“Because I might get hurt.”
“Why?”
“Because he is hot.”
“So?”
“So?”
“He dated Park Yoochun before, did you know that?”
“He did?”
“If he liked wide foreheads and slim muscle-less bodies, then you are perfect, and you don’t have a wide forehead.”
“So you’re saying that I’m hot like Yoochun?”
“When did I say that you are hot?”
Well, that sucks.
“It doesn’t suck, just go and try your luck”
“You gotta stop that man. This is getting freaky”
“I just know you just like I know the shape of my cock,” He mused eating his popcorn.
“Why you little…”
Aish, what could I do? Please, anyone, just tell me a way that I could kill him and then revive him so I could torture him and then kill him again and then revive him to torture him and then kill him again and then… Ok you got my point.
“Junsu oppa is so cute. Today I will confess after the game”
Woah woah woah, back off bitch. He’s gay, Changmin just told me about it. I have the package down there, so I’m ahead of you. HUH, in your face, ugly bitch.
I grinned and really grinned at the possibility of me dating him. Oh My God! It would be a dream come true. Awwww, I feel my eyes watering, I want to cry.
“I hate soccer matches,” Changmin made a face.
Why, oh why was he trying to make me hate him? Why people? WHY? Always, always ALWAYS ruining the fun and my mood with it.
“It’s ok, I hate you too.”
I said grinning, hehehe, one score for Yunnie.
“And I’m madly in love with you.”
I think he just embarrassed me, right? Oh, I see, he was trying to be smart? Not on me, I knew him so well and I was as smart as him. My strikes always knocked him down and scored higher marks.
“Save it for your porn stars.”
Bwahhahaha, I did it. Look at his face all red and shocked. Omo, even the girl beside me was laughing; I think I just scored ten points. I was so so so smart, wohoho, a genius.
“You’re one of them. Remember when you stripped for me.”
Motherfucking asshole!
“Paw, hundred points.”
He shot me with his invisible gun and it struck me in the heart. The asshole, now not only the girl next to me but the whole row behind and in front of me were eyeing me with amusement. Wait, was that girl smiling at me? Well hello there sexy.
WAIT, I shouldn’t look at anyone but Junsu. This was considered cheating. Omo, I couldn’t cheat on him before even going out with him right? So I stuck my nose up and gave her the poker face and ignore her suggestive smile. I told you I’m popular. I chuckled at my own thoughts. Aah, it feels good being confident.
“Are you coming or not? The game is already over and the pole is waiting for you at home.”
Now I will kill him.
“I will KILL YOU.”
I ran after him and he laughed hard and loud and ran as fast as his long long long LONG legs could run. If there was something I hated the most, it was running. I wasn’t a fast runner and I knew very well that I would never be able to catch up to him. He was running like goddamn lightning, and I guess from all your studying at school, you’d know that lightning travels at the speed of light, which is very very fast in comparison with my speed, which would be pretty much something I prefer not to compare to the speed of light. The most hateful thing about running was when I was wearing a thin shirt like the one I was wearing.
It showed EVERYTHING!
With every leap, my body would shake and bounce. Oh my effing God! It’s so embarrassing how my not so flat boobs start bouncing. They are fucking flying in the fucking air and they are out of my freaking control. Every time I run, every fucking time I just have to hug my chest so people wouldn’t stare at my bouncing boobs. I fucking hate them.
Gaaaah, Changmin was out of my sight in no time, and I was so tired. Damn damn damn, my lungs were betraying me. NO, don’t, just make me get to him, catch him, beat the shit out him, and then fail me. Please, oh shit, I’m dying.
I stopped running, rested my hands on my knees, and panted. I should start working harder at losing some weight, I was losing my energy.
“Excuse me, you’re blocking my way!”
I froze. Oh my God that voice. It was that hot and sexy voice that could take me to the highest skies or bury me into the ground. I turned and I swear my heart was about to stop. Should I hug him? No, he would think that I’m a freak and would be scared of me for life. I think I should just ask him for an autograph. Yes, this one is normal not freaky or creepy.
“J-J-Junsu-Shi, c-c-can I have y-y-you’re a-autograph.”
FUCK YOU stupid fucking mouth. Fuck my nervousness, this is so fucking embarrassing. GOD, I just want the earth to split and swallow me whole.
“Sure, you have a pen?”
Oh my God, did you see this? He was smiling at me. The smile was for me. FOR ME, JUST FOR ME.
“I like you.”
HOLY.FUCKING.SHIT. FUCK.YOU. MY.STUPID.MOUTH. OMG! OMG! OMG! What should I do, OMG! OMG! OMG!
“Excuse me?”
And he was blushing. Dear everyone, Please kill me. Yours, Me.
Ok I was just kidding; there was no way in hell I was going to make this opportunity slip out of my hind. There was no going back. Jung Yunho, you’ve been waiting for this for ages. If your fucking mouth failed you then take his failure to heart and take responsibility of its failure.
“I-I’ve always liked you.”
I said it, finally I did. And I didn’t even plan it. Maybe this was fate and God just loved me and that’s why he threw Junsu in my face and made my mouth vomit all those words. It’s just fa…
“I’m sorry.”
Ok maybe God didn’t quite like me.
“Eh?”
I asked, the only thing I could do was just ask. WHY, what was wrong with me? Was it because I was fat?
“It’s not because you’re fat, it’s just…”
“You heard that?”
“Yeah, you were kind of… thinking loudly”
I sighed, damit my fail brain and my fucking mouth. Was my mouth really a part of my body? Because I think it’s not. I mean, how could you think of a thing and then say it without thinking of saying it?
Despite my failure, I knew that I just had to ask why. Oh why didn’t he accept me? I had to know why I failed so hard.
“But, why?”
I think I sound so pitiful. I’ve never heard my voice like this before. I guess I really liked him huh!
“I kinda have a boyfriend”
Aw he was so sweet, shifting and playing with the hem of his team uniform that was by the way still drenched with his hot sweat.
“Park Yoochun?”
“Eh? How did you know?”
“Well, my friend told me”
“I see. So it’s not a secret anymore, huh?”
“I guess.”
I pouted, I didn’t really mean to, but it’s just natural right? I felt like crying. I wanted to slam my head on my soft pillow, hug my Bambi and cry my eyes out.
“Am I not good enough?”
Ok maybe this was a stupid question. Watching idol stars confessing to empty air and using their lines in real life was such a big fail. I myself couldn’t believe that I just used it. This line combined with my failed confession was just disturbing. Stupid fucking mouth saying whatever it wanted.
“Do you want the truth?”
Dear lord, he said that biting his lips. STOP IT, biting his lips just made his lips redder, hotter, and more kissable. But I had to ask, to left the failure up my shoulders.
“What?”
He smiled that gorgeous smile of his and looked at me.
“When these…” He pointed to my cheek and then moved his finger to point to my eyes. “Stop pressing on these. Then you will be much cuter.”
“Are you saying my cheeks are fat and pressing on my eyes?”
I think I just stated the obvious because he blushed some more and nodded his head. Oh my dear mother, why did you feed me so much when I was a child? Are you happy now that I was called fat? And my cheeks were pressing on my eyes and making them smaller?
“I didn’t mean to insult you, really. I was overweight before too you know.”
“Really?”
Well that was unexpected.
“My brother helped me loss weight and train my body. He is a fitness trainer. Maybe you can visit him, he is really good.”
Now I loved him more. Awww, he was so sweet offering me to go to his brother for help. I think I wanted to lose weight, because honestly my diet didn’t work at all. And I just keep losing my energy instead of weight. I sighed without even noticing and looked at his cute face. I think it’s ok to ask him for a kiss right? Like a break up kiss or something.
“Can I… kiss you?”
Ok I think I shouldn’t say this. I looked like a freaking pervert. Oh God please make lightning strike my head and kill me already.
“Mmmm, sorry but, Yoochun will kill you”
“It’s ok, I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking. I just really like you.”
“Sorry.”
“It’s ok, really.”
“Ok then, bye.”
I heard my heart shattering. My love life ended before it even started. What a major fail. I think I need a drink. No wait, alcohol can make you fat, and I don’t need any more fat. I sighed and dropped my head low.
Where was Changmin when I needed him? I want to hug him and cry in his embrace. Even if he laughed at me, I didn’t care. I just wanted to cry.
“Yunho?”
“Changmin?”
I turned and he was there.
Confession time people. Maybe he was annoying and idiot and such an arrogant bastard but he was so sweet and lovely and I just loved him so much. He was my best friend who accepted me for whom I am and was now able to read my mind before I speak. Oh the blessing of having a best friend.
“Minnie, I just confessed.”
“To who?”
Maybe he was slow sometimes.
“Junsu.”
I said as my quivered. He sighed and opened his arms for me and I didn’t wait and threw myself on him. He hugged me and I teared in his arms. It seemed as if he knew that I failed. Somehow it was the creepy I-know-everything-about-you-and-what-happened-when-I-wasn’t-there kind of situation where it always happened with Changmin.
“It’s ok buddy. You just failed miserably, that’s all.”
“I know. But why do I always fail?”
He sighed and looked at my eyes and smirked. Why do I have a bad feeling about this?
“I’ve told you before that you should just love me, but you didn’t listen. Well, you’re the loser not me.”
“Hahahaha!”
Ok, now I knew why I loved him. He just made me laugh. Imagine me loving him, tsk tsk tsk, as if. Man that would be hilarious.
“I know, we will look stupid. Like Timon and Pumba” He said.
He was such a mean ass.
“YAH!”
“Ok fine, like number ten.”
“You’re saying that I’m fat?”
“Aren’t you?”
“Yes I am.”
I pouted and hugged my chubby body. I wore a thin shirt but it was baggy to hide my fats, but it didn’t work very well actually. Oh how I wanted to wear that shirt on Changmin. It’s so hot.
“Junsu said that I have to go to a fitness trainer.”
“So he did say that you are fat?”
“Kinda, but not in a mean way. He is so sweet.”
“But I think he is right. Don’t you think it’s time to ask an expert? You don’t eat anything and you are as fat as an elephant”
“Hey, that’s way too mean.”
I slapped his arms hard, REALLY hard, because this was super mean. The image of my face plastered on an elephant face appeared in my head and it made me feel really bad about myself. But why couldn’t I hate him? Yeah, maybe because he was telling the damn TRUTH.
“You know I’m joking, don’t take it seriously. You’re not fat, you’re just chubby. Couple pounds and it’s over.”
“You’re right. You think I should go to Junsu’s brother? He said he is a fitness trainer.”
“Why are you so stupid? You were rejected by him and then you go to his brother? This is so pathetic, even for you, this is way too pathetic.”
Stab my heart with a knife please because I just want to die right now.
“Then what should I do?”
“I know the perfect place. My cousin went there and he said that it’s good and the trainers are so strict, which is a necessity for someone like you.”
“Why so?”
“I just know!”
“Why do you know?”
“Because I know you like I know…”
“The shape of your cock, I know.”
See, I could read minds too. Hehehe!
“Actually I was going to say like I know my age, but the shape of my cock is quite convincing.”
Damin it.
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