They Metrosexualised My Autobot
They put fucking hot-rod style flames on Optimus. My dearest, darling, precious, good, brave Optimus. Oh, I know they stayed within his red-and-blue colour scheme, but they've given him the vroom-vroom equivalent of a fauxhawk. The Optimus I knew as a child would NEVER have done that. No extra trim for him, he'd be too busy being noble and manly (or trucky) and good.
It's like putting Daisy Duke in long pants.
Like Superman, he's that fantasy guy no mortal can live up to. I've loved them both since I was about 5 years old. So yes, the love of my life would have to be a truck, or an alien. Or a fugitive trauma surgeon born 500 years into the future (latest crush - Firefly's Simon Tam).
It's like they let the Queer Eye crew at him.
They pimped my ride... not in a good way.
Bastards.
(Yes, I know I'm breaking radio silence/hermit cryostasis by blogging about something utterly and totally flippant, but please don't tell me you'd REALLY like to read about my latest brain-breaking trauma. Even I wouldn't want to read about it. Therefore, I bring you Autobot Rant instead. )