this is my teenage suicide hahaha
ok, so nothing lately has been going well. it kinda sucks. let's recap:
friday: meet a boy who is actually halfway decent. lord knows i can't flirt with people (or even talk to people at bars). my friend leaves so it's just me and him and a lot of silence. i got his number, think it's a fake. haven't called it; not going to.
saturday: not actually that bad. sleep a lot. don't do anything all day. at night a break my razr phone. goddamn.
sunday: don't leave the apartment. smoke cigarettes inside my parents apartment. marlboro reds.
monday (today): go to work. don't eat all day until i get home. nauseous all day long. listen to way too much 'built to spill' and get really emo. also, i leave on wednesday to visit claremont. my guise is that i am going to get school credit for my internship. told my parents it would be easy and i had already talked to the registrar. i hadn't. and i can't get school credit (found that out today). so the lies have to keep on coming. and everyone is being a really big bitch about replacing my phone.
the only good (?) thing to happen today was that i saw the episode of degrassi where ellie becomes a cutter. i swear to god i'm going to slit my wrists.
i am trying to be optimistic about going to claremont. i get to see a bunch of friends, going to a birthday party in bel air that should be really dope. i have to get out of this funk but i don't know how. i am so pessimistic right now and i hate myself and i want to die.
friday: meet a boy who is actually halfway decent. lord knows i can't flirt with people (or even talk to people at bars). my friend leaves so it's just me and him and a lot of silence. i got his number, think it's a fake. haven't called it; not going to.
saturday: not actually that bad. sleep a lot. don't do anything all day. at night a break my razr phone. goddamn.
sunday: don't leave the apartment. smoke cigarettes inside my parents apartment. marlboro reds.
monday (today): go to work. don't eat all day until i get home. nauseous all day long. listen to way too much 'built to spill' and get really emo. also, i leave on wednesday to visit claremont. my guise is that i am going to get school credit for my internship. told my parents it would be easy and i had already talked to the registrar. i hadn't. and i can't get school credit (found that out today). so the lies have to keep on coming. and everyone is being a really big bitch about replacing my phone.
the only good (?) thing to happen today was that i saw the episode of degrassi where ellie becomes a cutter. i swear to god i'm going to slit my wrists.
i am trying to be optimistic about going to claremont. i get to see a bunch of friends, going to a birthday party in bel air that should be really dope. i have to get out of this funk but i don't know how. i am so pessimistic right now and i hate myself and i want to die.