fuck that.
You know, I take back anything good I have ever said about my "friends". I thought they had my back and I knew that I had theirs. But little did I realize that while my back was turned, they were criticizing me. For stupid shit. And then... one stupid fucking bitch turned them all against me. Even Laura. Honestly, I already miss her. But I guess it's worth all of this right... throughout all of the notes I get, and the nasty IMs, and the stares, and the comments... so I can be stronger. I don't need them.
Yesterday I got a little note from a "secret admirer" telling me how beautiful I was with this hideous drawing of me above it. It then said "there's more where this came from if you go to the social with me." Way to knock off of Napoleon Dynamite. Anyway, people kept coming up to me and asking me about it. It's like they all knew about the letter before I did. And I know what your thinking. Either a) it's just a fucking letter. Get over it. or b) haha bitch that note was hilarious. But it wasn't even the note that made me upset. It was when I turned my head to see all of my so-called friends laughing behind me, pointing and staring at me. Look at this fucking I.M.
kisses4u102204 (7:03:15 PM): hey
Auto response from summer weakness (7:03:15 PM): is this what you wanted?
well its what you got.
youve got me where im choking on my own spit because i cant get the words out. im gasping for air...what little there is.
and my hairs sticking to my cheeks like fucking hair spray. i dont even style my hair.
you took all my dignity; i have nothing left. not that i had much to start with.
so is that what you wanted?
because thats what you got.
kisses4u102204 (7:06:14 PM): yeah i did get what i wanted which is everything u used to have but no one likes u now so ur screwed!!
kisses4u102204 signed off at 7:51:28 PM.
Who in the fucking world has a heart so small? Well I hate you too, Annalise. And I hope the world knows that you are the real bitch, not me. Especially since I didn't do shit to you. I have so much against you dear and not ONCE have you ever seen me tell someone. I'm not that low. Oh but you are. Every chance you get- just for the attention. You'll tell anybody that will listen. And maybe that's why everyone likes you. Because you're so fucking "free-spirited" and you just don't care. Well, that's a given. And telling me to burn in hell - hot damn is that free spirit or what!
And for Laura. I always thought of you as the sweetest girl ever. Of course you had your little problem with lying, but I didn't care. You were still my best friend. I loved you to death and I think I still do. But you disappointed me greatly when you acted like that. Sure you can be immature, but you are going way too far. On the phone, you even admitted that I didn't do anything to you. So what is it Laura... am I not good enough for you now? Now that you have Annalise there for you? Well guess what hun. She talks about you, too. Fuck, everybody does! That seems to be what we do best. Well in the past month I actually kept my promise not to talk about people and I was so proud of myself. But it wasn't even worth it because for every nice thing I said for someone, there was something mean being said about me. So go ahead Laura. Never talk to me again. It'll still be you that feels guilty in the end. I miss you.
And thank you for all my friends that are actually here for me and realize how stupid people have gotten.
THANK GOD FOR SUMMER♥