calories wont make you hapy
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i just dont get why people have ditched me. im not fun anymore, im not the flavour of the month.
im sorry i have a serious side, im sorry i wont 'lighten up and eat some chocolate'
im sorry i dont cause drama at the drop of a hat if things are getting boring.
im sorry i just want to get out of this place
she hasnt actually told me she feels this way, but i know lauren is much happier being kims new best friend than sticking with little old me, the only one out of a class of 31 who has stood by her since we met.
she gets picked on all the time, and im the one whos friends with her and the others, so i tell them to lay off
and now shes ditched me for kim.
they go out most nights smashing car windows/causing hassle with elderly people/setting off alarms in corner shops, and i dont want to go, so they call me a spoilsport/boring etc. i just dont want to associate myself with people who are low enough to make other peoples lives so hard. you never know their individual stories. what if some guy has lost his job or something, they go and smash his car window and he cant pay for it to be repaired? maybe im over-reacting thinking about things like this, but my parents current position has made me so much more aware of things like that :[
and then she'll come into school the next day bragging abou how much trouble they got into/who they 'fell out'(how childish?) with/whos been seeing who behind whos back. i could write the script out everyday, because its all the fucking same. i like to drink, i like to party, i like to smoke, but i dont see the point in going out to walk around the parts of town nobody ever goes to, so you dont even see anybody from school or whatever, smashing car windows, for half a bottle of alcopops and pretending your drunk?
if im going to get drunk, it takes a lot more than that. and im a lightweight.
it just dosent make any sense. she's trying to rebel, but it just dosent suit her because everybody knows how hard she works at school? and then she'll humiliate me in front of everybody, saying that im a 'boffin' or that im boring because i dont go out?
im so frustrated, its really getting me down. we used to share everything, but i cant talk to her about anything now, because she will actually laugh in my face