bored . is an understatement
Lately, I have been feeling less and less interested with blogging, and this website.. and all my other websites. (-.-) And somehow, for reason I can not understand, I feel defeated. Hay. Maybe because I am losing interest in the one thing I know interests me the most - Designing. I don't think that I have enough creativity and passion to pursue that career. I mean, I want it, but I am not talented enough. And my fear of not succeeding is telling me to back off. Surely some will say uplifting words to me, to follow my dreams, and to try taking that path nevertheless. Mind you.. I AM NOT FISHING for any of these comments. (i just dont know how to turn the comments off)
And the freaking school hunt is stressing me. I still don't know what course to take, thus making it harder to find the right school for me. Shit. And I do MEAN IT.
I have lost my appetite.. which is not really a surprise, because I haven't gained a feather since we moved to the new place. I knew I lost weight because of my unhealthy habit of staying up too late, but now I am rethinking that. A possibility, and a probable existing problem, of an eating disorder has been passing my mind for months now. I don't seem eager to see the chocolate and ice cream bars in our fridge as I used to. I wonder why? Have I simply lost my craving, or that I lost my wanting to feed myself?? Talk about on the verge of being anorectic, and I don't want to be one. Actually, I have been presumed to have anorexia nervosa a couple of times already.. With this, I now force myself to eat. I see to it that I have a cupfull or two of ice cream after dinner. I eat chips after that. And sometimes, I stuff my face with chocolate bars and sweet treats while I work.
Oh my fucking idiotic self..
I do sound like I have an eating problem..
Relax. Relax......
I will be okay.
By the way, my work is only up 'til December.
So come next year, Sarjie is a bum. x_x
I seem to be enjoying my companionless life.
Or at least I am forcing myself.
Friends are for the weak.
Friends are for the weak.
I am bored. Nurr.