::interesting
::while i was rolling this past weekend and sitting on the bench by the water fountains in walmart, a guy came out of the bathroom and walked away looking very solemn and alone.
i wanted to share my happiness with him.
::i walked the halls at school and i hadn't seen anyone i thought was worth stopping for in the hall.
i could have hurt myself for being so selfish, & shallow to think that. i am glad i realized what i was thinking, because from then i would look at a face and think about all the wondrous things that person may possibly contain within them. i would think of the thoughts and the emotions that could be swirling around inside.
i couldnt stand walking the halls and looking at all of these blank, expressionless faces, these bodies, and not even consider their souls.
::i have always been able to sense, something about a person and feel a being there, with more depth than just a face and a body. with something meaningful.
that is why i befriended victor.
when i first met him, i saw his shallow exterior, his facade, his immaturity (that surprisingly could perhaps exceed my own,) his distorted perspective on society and reality, on life and drama, his false sense, of being. but below that i saw he was lonely and hurting.
its ironic that joe kept telling me to stay away from him. not to talk to him, i thought that very unlike joe. but i explained to him what i saw in victor. victor has a beautiful soul, and he just needed the right people to knock him out of his social facade and into reflection. he has a lot to learn, but he's seeing life as something with a lot more perspective than he had before.
we all have a lot to learn, always.
::joe.
i feel like i've lost him.
i don't know him. joe is not the person i first met. almost as if he is numb to me. he has changed. he's distorted me.
i know he and i need to get together and just be he and i and talk and get out whatever is left needed to be said.
that has to be done.
he was my best friend. the singular person i could confide everything in. i've never had that. i've always had a wall built up around madeline or nikki or lauren or cassidy or joel and even jeremy. i never had one built up for joe.
not until recently.
that's when i realized i didnt like who he's become.
i feel the person hes become wont accept the person i am anymore. or perhaps i just feel rejected by him. i need to tell him
we need to talk.
typing this has made me see the severity of what i am feeling right now.
::notes to self: Zeno's Paradox. kissing pictures suck.
::love love back.
::now off to rest for yet another rushed day of routine at school.
i wanted to share my happiness with him.
::i walked the halls at school and i hadn't seen anyone i thought was worth stopping for in the hall.
i could have hurt myself for being so selfish, & shallow to think that. i am glad i realized what i was thinking, because from then i would look at a face and think about all the wondrous things that person may possibly contain within them. i would think of the thoughts and the emotions that could be swirling around inside.
i couldnt stand walking the halls and looking at all of these blank, expressionless faces, these bodies, and not even consider their souls.
::i have always been able to sense, something about a person and feel a being there, with more depth than just a face and a body. with something meaningful.
that is why i befriended victor.
when i first met him, i saw his shallow exterior, his facade, his immaturity (that surprisingly could perhaps exceed my own,) his distorted perspective on society and reality, on life and drama, his false sense, of being. but below that i saw he was lonely and hurting.
its ironic that joe kept telling me to stay away from him. not to talk to him, i thought that very unlike joe. but i explained to him what i saw in victor. victor has a beautiful soul, and he just needed the right people to knock him out of his social facade and into reflection. he has a lot to learn, but he's seeing life as something with a lot more perspective than he had before.
we all have a lot to learn, always.
::joe.
i feel like i've lost him.
i don't know him. joe is not the person i first met. almost as if he is numb to me. he has changed. he's distorted me.
i know he and i need to get together and just be he and i and talk and get out whatever is left needed to be said.
that has to be done.
he was my best friend. the singular person i could confide everything in. i've never had that. i've always had a wall built up around madeline or nikki or lauren or cassidy or joel and even jeremy. i never had one built up for joe.
not until recently.
that's when i realized i didnt like who he's become.
i feel the person hes become wont accept the person i am anymore. or perhaps i just feel rejected by him. i need to tell him
we need to talk.
typing this has made me see the severity of what i am feeling right now.
::notes to self: Zeno's Paradox. kissing pictures suck.
::love love back.
::now off to rest for yet another rushed day of routine at school.