Title: Tofu Sandwiches Are Delicious
Pairing/Characters: Tommy Ratliff, Frank Iero (implied Adam Lambert/Tommy Ratliff/Mikey Way and implied Frank Iero/Gerard Way)
Rating (Word Count): R (13x100 words)
Warnings: A tiny, joking mention of fantasy incest of the Gerard/Frank/Mikey variety
Author's notes: This drabble set is a part of my
Ice Cream Shop AU in which Tommy and Frank are bffs who work in an ice cream shop and snark a lot. This drabble set stands on its own, provided you read the previous sentence.
**
It eventually occurs to Tommy that Frank might not actually know that he and Adam are fucking Mikey now, which is ridiculous because it's not like they've been subtle about it, Tommy doesn’t think. Fuck, even Gerard knows and approves, and so it’s even more ridiculous that Frank doesn’t know considering Mikey’s Gerard’s brother.
Then again, Frank is oblivious on a good day, and now that he's dating Gerard, he barely notices or cares about anything that isn’t directly Gerard-related (Frank and Gerard completely redefine the term ‘honeymoon-stage’), but Tommy thinks it’s about time that Frank knows what’s going on.
**
Being in a three-way relationship is still a little surreal sometimes. It may have started as just sex, but it’s been a few months and that’s long enough for Tommy to know it’s more than (admittedly fucking hot) sex for him, and he thinks Adam and Mikey feel the same. Mikey just fits with them, makes everything better.
So one day when he and Frank are alone in the shop, Tommy sits Frank down at a table with a big bowl of (vegan) ice cream because ice cream always puts Frank in a good mood.
“For me?” Franks asks mock-coyly.
**
Tommy rolls his eyes and holds a spoon out to Frank. “Just eat it.”
“You’re so sweet to me, Tommy. I think you’ll get lucky tonight,” Frank says, batting his eyes, and Tommy scoffs.
Chuckling, Frank takes the spoon, and Tommy watches silently as Frank digs into his ice cream with gusto. Tommy made it special today - two scoops of coffee-flavor and two scoops of vanilla with lots of special vegan caramel and chocolate sauce on top.
Frank practically inhales it, half of it gone before he finally takes a break to breathe. “So what’d you do?”
Tommy blinks. “What?”
**
“What did you do?” Frank repeats, scooping a huge bit of ice cream onto his spoon.
“What makes you think I did anything?” Tommy hopes he doesn’t sound defensive.
“C’mon, Tommy,” Frank says, opening his mouth and shoveling the ice cream inside. He moans a little for show while he eats it, and then he says, “We both know that you only give me ice cream when you’ve done something that I’m not going to like.”
Tommy scowls because it’s true. “That’s not true.”
“It really is,” Frank says. “Just admit it. Or do I need to refresh your memory?”
**
Frank’s amused tone makes Tommy huff and Frank smirks.
“I’ll take that as a yes,” Frank says. Giving Tommy a heavy lidded look, he slowly licks his spoon clean, moaning some more in his quest to make it sexy, and Tommy makes a face. “Let’s see… Hmm, how about the time I went to the bathroom and came back to find you fucking your boyfriend on my couch? You bought me three gallons of ice cream the next day. Ring any bells?”
“That was eight years ago!” Tommy says, indignant. “I was a horny teenager! Fucking get over it already.”
**
“I won’t,” Frank says stubbornly. “You wouldn’t even let me join in, even though Brad or whoever was game. Cock block!”
Jesus fucking Christ, Frank’s whining like a five year old. Tommy really wants to bang his head on the table. Repeatedly. “Sorry I wasn’t into threesomes in high school. Jesus.”
Frank perks up at that, ignoring the sarcasm. “So you mean you’re into them now?”
Why he sounds so eager, Tommy doesn't know, but to be safe… “I’m not having sex with you and Gerard,” he says flatly.
Frank points a finger at him. “And you’re avoiding the question!”
**
Fuck. What is he supposed to say? That yes, actually, he’s really into threesomes? Tommy was planning on telling Frank about Mikey, yeah, but he didn’t realize how awkward it would be until Frank managed to hit the nail on the head unintentionally with the ‘high school incident.’
Best to just get it out there Tommy supposes and hope that Frank doesn’t tease too much.
Looking at Frank, Tommy sighs. Yeah, like that’s going to fucking happen with the mood that he’s in.
“Well…” he says, and Frank looks at him expectantly. “I guess it’s finally time to tell you.”
**
“Tell me what?” Frank asks, leaning over the table. “That you’re getting fucked by Adam AND Mikey? Is that what you want to tell me?”
Tommy manages to choke on air which makes Frank bust out into maniacal giggles.
“Oh, fuck you, asshole,” Tommy says once he stops coughing, and he gives Frank the finger.
Frank cheerfully gives him the finger back. “You shoulda seen your face!” he says, breathless from laughing so hard. “It was even better than my ice cream. Fucking epic!”
“Ha-fucking-ha,” Tommy sneers, crossing his arms over his chest. Fucking Frank. “How long have you known?”
**
Frank taps his finger on his chin. “Well,” he drawls, “the biggest clue was when I came back from lunch last month and saw you as the tofu in an Adam-Mikey sandwich.”
Fuck! Tommy flushes. He knows exactly when Frank’s talking about. That day, while Frank was out with Gerard, Adam and Mikey came by the shop, and of course one thing led to another…
Tommy was sure they were going to get caught, but then Frank was late getting back from lunch, Adam and Mikey gone by that time, and Tommy thought he had dodged a bullet.
Apparently not.
**
“Yep,” Frank chirps. “You looked like you were” - he smirks - “~enjoying yourself.”
Tommy levels a glare at him. Yeah, Tommy supposes that writhing against your boyfriends while you’re dry humping them while they’re kissing and groping you and shamelessly begging for them to fuck you would qualify as ‘enjoying’ oneself.
Fuck.
Of course Frank had to see that; god-fucking-dammit, Frank’s never going to forget this.
“Shut the fuck up,” Tommy snaps. “Why didn’t you say anything?”
To be honest, it is surprising that Frank didn’t interrupt them right then and there, or at least tease Tommy mercilessly the next day.
**
“Because I was waiting for this,” Frank says, his amusement obvious. “Much more fun. And besides, did you really think Gerard wouldn’t blab?”
Tommy really hates when Frank’s a smug asshole. And also when Frank gets one up on him. “Asshole.”
Frank ignores the insult and rests his head on his hands. “So, tell me,” he says conspiratorially, “who’s got the bigger cock?”
Tommy shouldn’t be surprised by the question, but he is. “Frank!”
“What?” Frank manages to look innocent. “It’s an honest question!”
Tommy scoffs. “Honest, my ass!”
“Your ass would know!” Frank shoots back. “Tell me!”
“No.”
“Now!”
**
Tommy glares. “No.”
“It’s Mikey, right?” Frank guesses. “Gerard’s hung so Mikey has to be too.”
Logic, Frank has none. “That makes no sense.”
In the grand tradition of things, Frank ignores him and says decisively, “It’s Mikey.”
Then his face scrunches up in his ‘confused but interested’ face. “So is it like three-way sex all the time? Or is it whoever’s together gets it on? Do Mikey and Adam fight over who gets to fuck you first?” Frank suddenly grins. “Yeah, you probably love having Adam and Mikey fighting over your ass.”
Tommy is horrified. “Oh my fucking god.”
**
He covers his face with his hands. “We are not having this conversation.”
“It’s not fair, you know,” Frank says, sounding like he’s pouting. “Mikey’s hot; I was hoping that I’d get Gerard to agree to a little kinky fun. God, that’d be fucking hot. Not as hot as twins, but still hot.”
Tommy groans and peeks through his fingers. “I hate you.”
Frank smile is blissful. “I know,” he says serenely. “But seriously: who’s got the bigger cock? I need to know these things. C’mon, Tommy.”
This time, Tommy doesn’t refrain from banging his head on the table. Repeatedly.
**