Reflection
It has been quite awhile since my last update. That's what happens when life gets in the way so much. However, since there seem to be quite a few reflections being posted about the past year, I thought I would do the same from a parents perspective. It will definitely do me some good, and who knows, it might even make some others do a little rethinking.
The last time I looked, my kids were about 3, 5 and 8 years old. Now they are 18, 21 and 24. The last 24 years of my life have been 100 percent dedicated to those three human beings. As the world turns, it speeds up. You blink and 15 years have gone by in a blur. You hear people say this all the time and it sounds like a bunch of crap, but it really is true.
When you are young, YOU CAN'T WAIT for your next birthday or to be older. When you get older, you dread for your kids to have birthdays and GET older ... because then they will leave you. There is often a pain in your chest. You can't tell if your heart is bursting with pride ... or breaking.
When the last one leaves, your official job - the one you have had 24-7-365-24 - is over ... just like that. Sure, you are still spending the money you've been saving on them, plus a large chunk of your paycheck, but THEY are gone. I honestly didn't know how I would survive it. But like the rest of you, I did!
During the past year I have learned that I actually did a good job of raising three human beings from infants to adults. (Pretty much by myself, also.) I also have learned that even though they are physically gone, they are still mine. Nothing can ever change that. I made three trips to take kids to college, and cried all the way home three times. They did not know that at the time because, as usual, I always did my best to shield them from hurt and tried to make things as easy on them as possible. (TOO easy, it now seems at times. But that's a whole 'nother story.)
So, please step back and think about your family from your new adult point of view sometimes... not as a child. They have done a lot for you just because you are you. You may think you're now savvy to the ways of the world and view your parent's world as boring and tired. Their food is too bland. Their car is too conservative. Their house is too old fashioned, their neighborhood is too quiet, their town is dead. That's what your kids will think of you some day, too.
But, it's not true. It's just real life. And your parent's real life got YOU to where you are now. Try not to dis it. They love you and can't wait to be with you. Don't hurt them by just wanting to get away. They do mean a lot to you and there is nothing wrong with you letting them know that ... often. They have friends, and lives, too. Buy YOU always have come first. Give them at least a little of the same courtesy.
So anyhow, I have survived. With quite few recent life changes including a divorce, a grandfather whose days are now numbered, and parents who are 70- years-old, I have lived through what I thought would kill me ... my kids growing up and leaving. I work for a paycheck, but sacrificed a real career or profession for them. I could have been a doctor, or lawyer, or author, or anything. But I was a stay-at-home-mom for 12 years until they were all in school. I did my job and wouldn't change a thing. I love them more than anything.
With all of that being said, and many of you contemplating the next semester, for me and many parents it's just as scary. It's on to "Life, Phase II."
(Hmmmm, a book title perhaps? Written by Teri Ashley, CSP.) (Common Sense Practitioner)
The last time I looked, my kids were about 3, 5 and 8 years old. Now they are 18, 21 and 24. The last 24 years of my life have been 100 percent dedicated to those three human beings. As the world turns, it speeds up. You blink and 15 years have gone by in a blur. You hear people say this all the time and it sounds like a bunch of crap, but it really is true.
When you are young, YOU CAN'T WAIT for your next birthday or to be older. When you get older, you dread for your kids to have birthdays and GET older ... because then they will leave you. There is often a pain in your chest. You can't tell if your heart is bursting with pride ... or breaking.
When the last one leaves, your official job - the one you have had 24-7-365-24 - is over ... just like that. Sure, you are still spending the money you've been saving on them, plus a large chunk of your paycheck, but THEY are gone. I honestly didn't know how I would survive it. But like the rest of you, I did!
During the past year I have learned that I actually did a good job of raising three human beings from infants to adults. (Pretty much by myself, also.) I also have learned that even though they are physically gone, they are still mine. Nothing can ever change that. I made three trips to take kids to college, and cried all the way home three times. They did not know that at the time because, as usual, I always did my best to shield them from hurt and tried to make things as easy on them as possible. (TOO easy, it now seems at times. But that's a whole 'nother story.)
So, please step back and think about your family from your new adult point of view sometimes... not as a child. They have done a lot for you just because you are you. You may think you're now savvy to the ways of the world and view your parent's world as boring and tired. Their food is too bland. Their car is too conservative. Their house is too old fashioned, their neighborhood is too quiet, their town is dead. That's what your kids will think of you some day, too.
But, it's not true. It's just real life. And your parent's real life got YOU to where you are now. Try not to dis it. They love you and can't wait to be with you. Don't hurt them by just wanting to get away. They do mean a lot to you and there is nothing wrong with you letting them know that ... often. They have friends, and lives, too. Buy YOU always have come first. Give them at least a little of the same courtesy.
So anyhow, I have survived. With quite few recent life changes including a divorce, a grandfather whose days are now numbered, and parents who are 70- years-old, I have lived through what I thought would kill me ... my kids growing up and leaving. I work for a paycheck, but sacrificed a real career or profession for them. I could have been a doctor, or lawyer, or author, or anything. But I was a stay-at-home-mom for 12 years until they were all in school. I did my job and wouldn't change a thing. I love them more than anything.
With all of that being said, and many of you contemplating the next semester, for me and many parents it's just as scary. It's on to "Life, Phase II."
(Hmmmm, a book title perhaps? Written by Teri Ashley, CSP.) (Common Sense Practitioner)