First Charm - Audio

[glad_of_war]

Well, isn't this unexpected. There I was, dead and wept over and vigil had and held and been done with, and now I wake up with not a pearly gate in sight. I know a kid who's big in the Bible Belt who'd be tipping tables and crying bloody martyrdom if he heard about this place

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[doctor_j_crane]

If you died, you're an inmate. Welcome to the last place you're ever going to see.

[glad_of_war]

Well there's an optimistic outlook if ever I heard one, what's wrong, son? Don't believe you've got it in you to graduate?

[He back read a smidgen.]

[doctor_j_crane]

Excuse me? How dare you suggest that? You've been here all of five minutes. You don't know how things work.

[glad_of_war]

[Laughter! Oh u Crane, Oh u!]

If you think this is some place where we stay forever, that means you're not expecting to ever leave, if you're not expecting to ever leave, that means you're not expecting to ever graduate.

If this was some kind of closely guarded secret, then I've got to tell you, you need to come up with a better code to hide it behind.

[doctor_j_crane]

Expecting to graduate is equally unhelpful, just so you know.

I don't think you're in the position to tell anyone anything. You don't have that right until you've been here for at least a few months.

[glad_of_war]

You know, you don't come across to me as the kind of man who has ever expected great things of himself.

Unfortunately for you I'm here for exercising rights to which I wasn't entitled, so I'm afraid telling you things despite my late arrival would fall firmly under my modus operandi.

[doctor_j_crane]

Which shows that you don't know the first thing about me.

[Pause.] That doesn't mean that you're going to be one of those rampaging murder people, does it?

[glad_of_war]

So enlighten me: Of all the wonderful things you've thought yourself capable of, was graduation ever one of them?

[More lolling] Not my style, I'm afraid.

[doctor_j_crane]

This conversation is over.